***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 656 – MOTHERS DAY †

May 12, 2012

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Y’know… I’ve been notice-ing

how the men I RIP tribute out-number the women by

A LOT !

It’s not being done on purpose,
there is no method-to-my-madness…
I’m thinking it’s more because of the women out-living men !
More often than not…
The females I tribute are more ‘historical’
(or hysterical, one or the other)
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So for MOTHERS DAY ?

I’m RIP-ing JERRY PARIS…

Not only did he have a mother,
he also had a wife…
and was very dear to his tv wife, Millie…

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R.I.P

Jerry Paris

(died in 1986, 60 years old, brain cancer)

To many, he’s pretty much known only as
DENTIST JERRY HELPER,
the funny next door neighbor on the old Dick van Dyke show.
But, it’s amazing how often he turns up in
major movies or his name in the directorial credits !

Paris had roles in major 1950’s films like
The Caine Mutiny,  Marty, The Wild One, DOA,
many tv series guest & recurring roles… including…
“Marty” Flaharty,  one of Eliot Ness’s men on the Untouchables.

On the 1990’s sitcom, THE NANNY, Fran’s grandmother
was played by Ann Morgan Guilbert…
on one episode she ‘flashed’ a photo of Paris
and claimed it was her late husband !
(she had played Millie Helper, his wife on Dick van Dyke)

A NICE TRIBUTE FROM A GOOD FRIEND

REST-in-PEACE
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I left my house for work

WITHOUT MY CELL PHONE !!!

Probably the 2nd, maybe the 3rd time
that has ever happened !!!

I  FELT  NAKED  !!!!!!!!!!

(and vulnerable)
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speaking of naked…

I’m sure it was just to sell magazines
and get some badly needed notice…

but the TIME MAGAZINE cover ?

the woman breast-feeding the circus midget ?

(he’s on the 4-side-of-3-years-old… a BIG kid)

My opinion?

It’s not about the kid, it’s about the ‘mom’ !
I bet the ‘octo-mom’ is sorry she didn’t think of it !
-
When I told the cop that I was breast-feeding
in the back-seat of that car…

HE DIDN’T GO FOR IT !
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If there’s nothing wrong with it,
a beautiful, natural thing and all…

WHY
(when it arrived at my eye doctor’s office)
WAS THERE A PLAIN COVER OVER
THE OFFENDING(?) PICTURE ?
(the receptionist pointed it out to me, said it odd)

The copy that arrived at my house
had no such false, ‘blank’ cover !

IF THERE’S SOMETHING QUESTIONABLE
ABOUT THE PICTURE,
PERHAPS THERE’S SOMETHING
QUESTIONABLE ABOUT THE ACT !
(a mom & an infant would have no such restriction)

I’M JUST SAYIN’

(’cause I could not care less one way or the other)
((but I gotta fill RIP somehow))
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Just wondering ?

JP Morgan-Chase just lost $2 BILLION !!!

DID ANYONE FIND IT ?
Is it ‘make-believe’ money or did someone else
come into a windfall ?

My house could have been sold for double
what I can get now, before the country went to hell.
DID I LOSE THE MONEY ?
OR DID I NEVER HAVE IT TO LOSE ?
(I’m still ahead of the game from what I paid years ago)

SUMPIN’ FISHY ‘BOUT GAINS & LOSSES !!!
DO THEY EXIST or ARE THEY MADE UP ?
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POLICE BLOTTER

or as we say here…

” BLOT-YOU ! “

Always ahead of the curve,
a New Jersey town if bringing in some ‘bucks’
by ticketing ‘dangerous’ walkers !
TEXTING & WALKING DON’T MIX for one !

I guess the MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS
won’t be locating their headquarters there !

AND THIS ONE ?

The situation is tragic, but the case frivolous…
Young, male texting driver causes crash
resulting in a couple both losing a leg.
Sue-ing (or incarcerating) the driver is a no-brainer…

BUT

The couple managed to ‘dredged-up’ a lawyer who has
agreed to also sue the girl who texted the driver,
although she was miles away at home !

HUH ?

She had no control over HIS actions.
(maybe she was ‘bully-ing’ him… cause du joir)
He could have ignored the text, read it later,
or pulled over to the curb if he thought it an emergency !

I CAN’T IMAGINE A SCENARIO WHERE SHE
CAN BE HELD TO ANY RESPONSIBILITY !
(comes a point when YOU are the one responsible)

WHAT’S NEXT ?

I buy a case of beer, a week later,
a guest at my house gets drunk,
drives away drunk, gets in an accident,
and they sue the liquor store ?

UNLESS THERE IS SOME POINT I’M MISSING…

The only thing that makes any kind of sense to me
is that they want to ’sweat’ the girl…
make her life as miserable as theirs…
She has a lawyer to defend herself ?

I can see the sue-ers being sued for a frivolous lawsuit !
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for some reason I’m still thinking breast-feeding…

MASTERPIECE THEATER – PBS

(I’m not a PBS kinda guy)

The anticipation for the return of

SHERLOCK

had the payoff I had hoped for !

Season (series) 2
Episode 1 (of 3)

SCANDAL IN (BOHEMIA) BELGRAVIA
(pretty adult fare)

I might be in love (lust?) with IRENE ADLER myself !

I thought the adaptation of AC Doyle’s
most famous stories might signal a drop-off for the show…
especially done in present (technology) day…

MAN, WAS I WRONG !

IT WAS GLORIOUS (again) !!!

A little ‘boost’ from standard English fare,
their Doctor Who author added the right amount of ‘action’ !
It was also pithy and clever thru-out !

I ‘allowed’ myself to watch the 90 minute show
in 3 sittings, so I could spread out my enjoyment.
I wasn’t disappointed (at any of the 3 sittings).

THE ENDING SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO,
BUT LEFT ME ‘STUNNED’ !

I was laughing thru tears !

GOOD SHOW !

These are good enough to be theatrical releases !

NOTHING LIKE IT BEING MADE IN AMERICA !

I can’t wait for this week’s story,
and sadly, the last of the 3 soon after.
(but watch-able multiple times for nuances)

addendum…
You should be able to find multiple showings
on the various PBS channels in your area.
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I’ve been enjoying the ice hockey playoffs…
(that’s MY game)
Some great series, great games, great battles…
and I have 2 local teams to keep my interest…
the NY RANGERS (had season tickets for years)
and
the NJ DEVILS (used to go, had a partial season plan)

ANYWAY…
The RANGERS have been playing like champions !
The DEVILS ?   Even though they’re winning…
they’re very frustrating to watch !
Up until the final game when they eliminated the FLYERS,
they would not ‘take-the-body’ to slow the Flyers down,
they just let them skate un-challenged !
THEN ?   The DEVILS would skate, skate, skate,
with the puck, without shooting !
LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT SHOT !
(goalie gets hot, yer ‘effed’ & the games were close)

I WENT BACK TO MY STADIUM WAYS,
SCREAMING (to the tv)…
SHOOT – SHOOT – SHOOT !!!

First 4 games?  I think it more luck of the bounce
that they took 3 of those games…
and figured the RANGERS (if they win their series)
would EAT THEM ALIVE the way they were playing !

WELL THE FINAL DEVILS-FLYERS GAME
SHOWED THAT THE DEVILS CAN PLAY TOUGH…
and they’ll have to get past the RANGERS
to get into the championship STANLEY CUP SERIES !

by the way…
I have photos of me and the STANLEY CUP !
(me actually touching it)
I was glad to get THAT close after the Devils won the cup !
Since when I was in TORONTO (hockey hall of fame)
the CUP was in my home state, NEW JERSEY
instead of at the museum !!!
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I got to work one morning
and mentioned that I had another co-worker
over at my house, the night before, for the game.

The reply ?
” THERE WAS NO HOCKEY GAME LAST NITE ”

MY reply ?
” I DIDN’T SAY THE GAME WAS HOCKEY ”
(wink, wink)

((they really hate me at work))
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Not TOTALLY insane…

but part-way there…

Mothers Day reminded me of the old stand-by
on the Spanish speaking tv station when I was a kid…

MI MAMA BUSCA BUSTELO !!!
MI MAMA BUSCA BUSTELO !!!
MI MAMA BUSCA BUSTELO !!!

(although a spanish guy tells me it’s ‘GUSTA-not-BUSCA’ !

((LIKES vs. BOUGHT ?  I think I’m right))

I have on, ahem, occasion watched
Spanish-speaking television…
the caveat?
I DON’T SPEAK or UNDERSTAND SPANISH !
(2 years in high school, a few words, not conversational)
but got a big kick out of ‘their’ tv !
You want to play a hard game show ?
Try guessing along with Spanish FAMILY FEUD !
(you get ONE, and high-fives all around)
And, of course, there’s SABADO GIGANTE !
And those large bands playing music
with 3 guys dancing in unison on one side or the other ?
(could never figure out why they were ALWAYS included)

BUT ONE GREAT REASON ?

Those shows are less PC when it comes to women
‘embracing’ their femininity & sexiness !
Some ‘hot mamas’ (included ’cause it’s mothers day)
(especially in dress, but ‘action’ also)

I WISH THEY’D INCLUDE AN ‘SAP’ IN REVERSE
AND HAVE AN ENGLISH ‘TRACK’ AVAILABLE
FOR TRANSLATING THE SPANISH DIALOG !
(I’d tune in for alot more if I knew what they were saying)

by the way…

BUSTELO ?

It’s the brand of coffee (espresso) in the commercial !
The kids are over-joyed that mom bought it !

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speaking of hockey…

One saturday they had an afternoon playoff game…
So that nite, with no game to show…
someone made the ‘beauty’ decision
to show the 1972 SUMMIT SERIES documentary !

Canadian all-stars vs. the RUSSIAN national team !
Being Canada’s home-grown game,
they didn’t take the challenge seriously,
expecting to win ALL games easily.

THEY FOUND OUT DIFFERENTLY VERY QUICKLY !

The Canadian all-stars became an embarassment
to the entire country… treated very badly by the fans !
(and the fans were EVERYONE, including family embarassment)
Shocked the players by how fast & far they had fallen !

And with nearly the entire country coming to a stand-still
and watching every minute of every game …

I WON’T RUIN IT FOR YOU…
(it’s worth see-ing)
But it makes the Olympic MIRACLE on ICE…
look ’small’ by comparison !

THIS WAS WAR !!!

YOU COULDN’T WRITE A BETTER SCRIPT !
(it’s ROCKY, REPLACEMENTS, & Miracle on Ice, rolled into one)

It was a warior’s battle…
(on and off the ice)
and, perhaps not at the time, but in retrospect,
left both sides with much respect
for each other in a battle royal !

(the dvd’s are available)
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okay… I’ll ruin it for you…

GAME 8

It will decide the winner of the series…
In Russia,  political propaganda rampant,
country & party leaders in attendance…

Biased game officials, controversial from the start,
Canadian penalties coming fast & furious,
a stick swung out of frustration
towards an official for a bad call, a chair from the bench
thrown on the ice, the tie-ing goal by the Canadians?
The ‘goal judge’ refuses to put on the ‘red lite’
denoting the puck is in the net !
From the Canadian’s bench, the head guy
fights thru the crown to get at the goal judge
and nearly gets arrested… while being escorted
back to the player’s bench (across the ice),
he gives the Russian crowd ‘the finger’… (no doubt about it) !
Then back to hockey and an amazing display
of both hockey and emotion !
Phil Esposito puts on a one-man show for the ages,
tie-ing the game from 2 goals down…

AND THEN  ?

AND THEN  ?

Under a minute in the game,
the clock is winding down… mere seconds left in the game…
and, and, and…

HOKEY SMOKES FELLAS !

You gotta see it !

Here’s a short ‘taste’…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5vB3Ij7eDc&feature=related

(I recommend see-ing it beginning to end)

I’m told that EVERY Canadian old enough
to have watched the series ‘live’ can tell you
where they were & who they were with
when that last game ended !
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Thank you for your concern,

but I’m recovering nicely…

As you know, www.RIPRenfield.com

surpassed the half-million ‘hit’ mark a few weeks ago…

AND WAS MY ‘MOUSE’ ARM SORE !
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I just listened to a GARRY MARSHALL interview…

(happy days, laverne & shirley, Mork & Mindy, etc)

Someone had remembered how HAPPY DAYS
originally appeared as a vignette on

LOVE AMERICAN STYLE

Probably obvious, but not to me (or the host)…
Turns out that LOVE AMERICAN STYLE
was a recycling effort !

They took pilot shows that weren’t ‘picked-up’
and ’stitched’ them together into an hour show !
Not a bad idea… maybe it should be done again…
From what I hear there are thousands of pilot shows
that never see the light of day…

It would be a way help cover the cost of the shows
(or at least get some use out of them),
or perhaps a ‘gem’ in the rough (actor or show)
might get noticed and made into a ‘real’ series !

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M HERE TO TALK ABOUT…
I was reminded of the way the BIG 3 NETWORKS
would turn out ‘movies-of-the-week’…
movies not meant for a theater,
but for the small screen !

(some of my favorite movies never saw a theater)

The ‘quality’ aspect of these movies are gone…
but THE HALLMARK CHANNEL has picked up the slack
(they give it a shot, no one else is… low budget for sure)

Oft times the movies are crap (most times)…
but for the actors and writers and directors…
it gets them some (limited) experience !
Some, it’ll be the highest level they attain,
some may be forgotten, seldom used, tv stars,
and you see some BIG names there too…
whether performing because of a bet,
a friendship, to fill in the time,
or a project just ‘rubs them’ the right way !

NOT MY CUP OF TEA…

(actually most are poorly written, bad plots, bad acting, lots of holes,
but I guess they aren’t shooting for the ‘discerning’ viewer…
something for everyone no matter what their level)

BUT, HEY, THERE ARE 500 CHANNELS TO FILL !

(and it keeps actors visible & working)
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ISN’T IT THE SAME THING ?

“There’s a new dating site aimed at matching up women
who like to travel with men willing to pay for their trips.
It’s part of a new dating trend called prostitution.”
- Jimmy Fallon

Hey… I’d like to travel free too,
sign me up (with a woman paying, please) !!!
I don’t care what you call me !
(neither do Fallon’s ‘tripping’ women)
- renfield
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I WAS A BAA-AAAD BOY

(neighbor)

My wife had been doing (solo) super-job
of clearing out some of the over-growth
in our backyard… but since we have that
1 can, 1 man automatic garbage pick-up,
I can’t stay ahead of her hard work.

So… I’ve been filling the can from the vacant house,
and ‘forced’ to check other neighbor cans
on the street, the nite before pickup.
I found 3 cans less than half full…

SO I DISCARDED THE ‘CLIPPING’S IN THEM !

The first 2 weren’t a problem…
the 3rd ?   I wasn’t on a clandestine mission…

I could have been told to ‘get lost’ anytime…
but the old woman in the house chose to open her door
and give me ‘the look’ and scold me
AFTER I had (loudly) put the clippings in her
80% empty garbage can !
(still 50% empty when I was done)

I offered to remove it or let her use mine as needed…
but, for some reason, someone (one time) taking
advantage of her near-empty collection can…

SEEMED TO REALLY BOTHER HER !
(her husband is a nice guy, great guy)
I’m waiting for her husband to ‘escape’ ear-shot of her
and have a good laugh with me…

I’M THINKING THE DEGREE OF BOTHER
IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO (old) AGE !

I WON’T BE GOING THERE AGAIN !
(and that’s after another neighbor left a room full of furniture
next to my property (very late at nite) to ‘glom’ off my
generous tip to the old-style garbage guys)
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I KNOW YOU’RE THERE

(read, don’t interpret)

NOT  HALF AS BAD AS WHERE YOUR

IMAGINATION TAKES YOU, NO  ?
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OKAY MOMS…

It’s YOUR day !

For some of you it won’t be a ’stretch’…
but don’t do nuthin’ today !

Is it really un-like the rest of your days ?

and just to end the controversy,
once and for all…

YES, I DO HAVE A MOTHER

and am not the devil’s ’spawn’ !

HAPPY  MOTHERS  DAY  !!!
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(age appropriate nursing infant doesn’t make a magazine cover)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 655 –  HAND JIVE  †

May 5, 2012

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A tiny bit late…

but

HAPPY  CINCO  de  MAYO !!!!



I’m not a ‘drinker’ or a ‘party-er’…
but I like to celebrate in my own way…

the VITAMIN SHOPPE also CELEBRATED !!!

SO I WENT OVER
AND JOINED THEM FOR…

GINKGO de MAYO

I’m usually more in control,
but have to confess to going a little wild…
Someone slipped me a ‘mickey’…
There was GINSENG in my GINKGO BILOBA !!!

Woo Hoo…

(hey, that’s as wild as I get)
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R.I.P

Johnny Otis

of ‘Willie and the Hand Jive’

Johnny Otis was the “godfather of rhythm and blues”
who wrote and recorded the R&B classic “Willie and the Hand Jive”
and for decades evangelized black music to white audiences
as a bandleader and radio host.

Otis, who was white, was born John Veliotes to Greek immigrants
and grew up in a black section of Berkeley, where he said he identified
far more with black culture than his own. As a teenager,
he changed his name because he thought Johnny Otis sounded more black.

His musical tastes clearly reflected that adopted culture
and even after he became famous, his dark skin and hair
often led audiences and club promoters to assume
he was black like his band mates.

In 1950, 10 of his songs made Billboard Magazine’s R&B chart.
His “Willie and the Hand Jive” sold more than 1.5 million copies.

He later wrote “Every Beat of My Heart,”
which was a hit for Gladys Knight & the Pips.

His influence was felt
mostly through his ability to recognize & promote talent.

REST in  PEACE
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again…

as NEW JERSEY goes…

so goes the WORLD…

TAN-LADY

Gotta be people taking this wacky person
and goofing on her in all 4 corners of the world !

I woke and turned on the tv the morning she ‘broke’…
I, also had the radio on, so didn’t hear the report…
My initial reaction to her image was that some
grandmother had been saved from a burning building !
(she looked ‘damaged’)

Initially, I took her side in the matter…
Her fair-skinned kid would be the last person
you’d want to expose to EXTRA ’sun’ !
I live with a few who can’t handle even the
smallest amounts of sun…
whereas I can stay in the sun all day, all week, whatever…
I used to put in my 40 or so hours ALL summer on the beach…
Living at the shore, my dad used to comment on how
I never ‘burned’, I only got ‘browner’…
BUT NOT LIKE TAN-LADY !
(she’s an aberration)

Her very cute little red-haired girl
could very easily been showing off to a teacher
(I’m like mommy)
or just phrased an answer ‘incorrectly’ to a loaded question.
(teacher has to err on the right side, or get sued, arrested, or fired)

BUT AFTER LISTENING TO ‘SOUND-BITES’
FROM THIS ‘NUTTY’ WOMAN…

I’m officially removing my support !

I thought she was a grandma.. 60-ish…
she’s in her mid-40’s !!!  The mother !
Compares her excessive tanning
to smoking or drinking alcohol !

AND THE KICKER ?
She’s delusional !!!
SHE THINKS SHE LOOKS GOOD !
(fat, ugly & jealous people out to get her)

She may not be fat, but ‘attractive’
isn’t a description that applies to her…
she looks 20 years older than she is…
has hard-leather skin like a lifetime old-time sea captain !

AND JEALOUS ?
My original feelings were more of  shock,
and then pity, for the wacky, old lady !
(the tanning place should have turned her away,
she’s not good advertising for the industry)

addendum…

I heard from some of her townspeople
that her 2 high school aged kids are getting
teased mercilessly about tan-mom…

VERY SURPRISING…
We all know (from experience) how
kind, sensitive, & understanding
teen-agers can be to someone
with a parent in a situation like this.
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I’m watching (enjoying) the ice hockey playoffs…
and with the dearth of sudden-death-overtime games…
and the guys ‘finding-their-legs’ AFTER
regulation 60 minutes of play…

IT MADE ME WONDER ?

They could be delving into the MORE illegal…
but what’s stopping them from
‘downing’ one or more of those
5  HOUR  ENERGY  DRINKS
for the game, or as the game goes on ?
(I’m thinking they have a way to have it ‘hit’ you fast & hard)
It’s not like it would turn up in a drug test !

AND WORSE ?

What about high school or college athletes
taking them to excess to make-the-grade ?
(probably make it’s way down to the pee-wees one day)

IT’S BASICALLY A CAFFEINE BOOST…
BUT IN THE YEARS TO COME

(after a few related deaths or medical emergencies)
IT’LL PROBABLY BE REGULATED or BANNED !

I’m surprised there isn’t already talk about
the REAL dangers, especially to young people,
that HAVE to be there (if only to the susceptible) !

I’ve never par-took…

but if bars are on the band-wagon and
can use it in mixed alcoholic drinks for that extra ‘kick’…

IT’S GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING IN IT
THAT’S NO GOOD FOR YOU !
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Those in charge of the SECRET SERVICE
are really having their noses rubbed-in-it…

THE WOMAN WHO STARTED THE BALL ROLLING ?

She’s doing interviews for pay !

WHY ?



BECAUSE I’M WORTH IT !

Calling the agents ‘idiots’ and how she could have
gone thru their papers & wallets while they slept…
painting a picture of the X-rated ‘keystone cops’ !

FUNNY THING ?

Seems she hasn’t been interviewed by the Americans !
The USA has no hold over her !
They can’t seem to find her, even though she’s all over
television and elsewhere in her country !

(why should she talk to them? they have no power over her
while she’s in HER country… she could easily tell them to
‘take-a-hike’ or maybe pay her fee? won’t be the first time!)

ADDENDUM…
The way I heard it… she claimed her ‘fee’ was $800
for the nite, and the agent thought her fee $30.
One thing I haven’t heard addressed ?
Is that $800 American dollars ?
Or is it $800 in THEIR money
and the conversion brings it to $3 American ?

SHOULD-A JUST PAID HER

AND TOOK YER LUMPS !

I’ll bet there are more than a few
that would like to go back and re-live that fateful day !

ONE MORE ADDENDUM…

Legal sex trade?  Some guys might bookmark
that country for a vacation mecca !
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I’m hoping this comes out right…

(IT CERTAINLY WENT LONG)

I’m not ‘pushing’ an agenda…

JUST BEING OBSERVATIONAL
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I’m reading about a LESBIAN Scout Leader
who was asked to turn in her uniform
by the BIG scout organization…

As a private organization,
the scouts are allowed to do what they please…
(gov’t monetary support can be stopped)
((and other groups will attempt to bankrupt them in court))

IT’S A SHAME THAT AN ORGANIZATION
THAT CAN BE GOOD FOR SOME KIDS,
GETS SHIT ON MORE THAN AL-QAEDA…

(add scouts to the list of those permitted to be shit-on)

That being said, I’d like to make an observation…
NOT EXPRESS A PERSONAL OPINION
I’m pretty sure the parents aren’t all that worried
about a LESBIAN running a boy, cub troop…
probably not worried about a LESBIAN
with young female scouts…
(you don’t hear much about female pedophiles)

I’m thinking the scouts are equal-across-the-board
against gay leaders of the female persuasion
due to their BIGGER fear of male homosexuals
using the scouts as a ‘hunting ground’ !
(foot-in-the-door stuff… REALISTIC or NOT)
I’M SURE THERE ARE ‘CLOSETED’ MARRIEDS
THAT NEED WATCHING TOO !

It’s a daily news story about ANOTHER male school teacher
being accused of nonsense with male & female kids…
(or coaches, or priests, or who-ever in authority)
NEARLY ALL ARE MALE !!!
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CLEARLY, THESE SAME FEARS
ARE NOT EXCLUSIVELY SEXUALLY ORIENTED !
(alot of sicko’s out there)
I’m merely discussing, not endorsing !

The fear of a ‘group’ is irrational
(who-ever said the public was rational?)
but I suppose you must be vigilant
for the odd-ball individual attracted to children !

I’m thinking the ‘fear’ is more a ‘taking-advantage-of’
than it is the sex of the offender !
(kids are stupid, including YOURS, & don’t know any better)

If you’re gay, you’re gay…
If you’re hetero, you’re hetero…
and if a kid knows it too at TOO early an age ?
IT’S STILL HANDS OFF FOR AN ADULT !
(especially a person in authority)
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THERE ARE ‘HETERO’ ABUSERS TOO, OF COURSE…
I would be just as ill-at-ease with a 23 year-old male,
hetero, school teacher taking my 13 year old daughter
on an over-nite or camping trip as the ‘chaperone’ !
I’ve heard tales of ‘young’ ladies ‘flirting’ with such teachers
and, as a parent, you hope trouble doesn’t follow…
(FIND SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE)

PEOPLE ARE ON ALERT !!!
When my wife was away and I showed up at
BROWNIE (girl scout) events with my daughter…
THERE WAS SOME ‘EXTRA’ LOOKS IN MY DIRECTION !

BUT LIKE MOST THINGS THESE DAYS…
IT COMES DOWN TO…

” WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN ? “
Gotta protect the little bast…, er, darlings !

PARENTS ARE SO OVER-BOARD PROTECTIVE…
SOME KIDS ARE NEVER OUT OF THEIR SIGHT !
One kid has an issue in Oregon,
and kids in Florida are under lock-down !
(the occurrence is probably the same as the 1950’s,
but now reported constantly, and with gusto)

Geez… I can remember being a 3rd grader (8yrs old),
and in the summertime?
GOT UP, HAD SOME TOAST, GOT ON MY BIKE,
LEFT FOR THE DAY, & CAME BACK WHEN IT WAS DARK !
and my parents never batted an eye !
(to their dismay, I always came back)

NOWADAYS ?

FORGET ABOUT IT !

In conclusion… the data may not support
a ban on homosexual scout leaders,
but, even if you don’t like the ban,
you should be able to understand a parent’s concern !
The same (adult) person who is totally pro-gay,
won’t be as ‘free’ with their ‘innocent’ baby !

” DON’T MAKE MY KID A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT ! ”

(in each generation there is more acceptance…
you can’t legistate understanding, you have to grow-up with it)

AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT ?

(or most anything including a church)

START YOUR OWN !

DON’T TRY TO ALTER A LONG-TIME ESTABLISHED GROUP,
(like a church that takes generations to change),

DO IT FROM SCRATCH, AND DO IT RIGHT !
and if you want to work within the current organization,

DO IT, BUT REASONABLY !
(but it could take them 100 years to come around)

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PERSONALLY ?

I don’t care the…

RACE, CREED, COLOR, SEXUAL ORIENTATION

of my kid’s teachers, coaches, ministers, or older kids…
(hmm.. add neighbors to that list)

I’M GOING TO BE WATCHING YOU REGARDLESS !

You can’t be any other way with YOUR kids !
YOU are supposed to be interested in their welfare,
not pass off the job to some institutional organization,
who might have an interest in keeping
any accusations under wraps !

FOR ME ?

I got enough trouble just getting thru the day myself,
I’M GOING TO WASTE TIME PUTTING SOMEONE ELSE DOWN ?
Minimally, it gets me nowhere & pisses off other human beings !
THERE’S NO END-GAME ! LIVE & LET LIVE !
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addendum…

My college fraternity (in the 70’s) was all male.
But we still managed to induct a female
as a ‘BROTHER’… we just kept it on the down-low…
THE ‘NATIONAL’ DIDN’T ASK, WE DIDN’T TELL !
(that works !  the other way is ‘asking for the trouble’)

LIKE THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL TEACHER
THAT GOT FIRED FOR INVITRO-FERTILIZATION.

Was it really anyone’s business what she was doing ?

Were her superiors about to give permission over the Pope?

WHY VOLUNTEER THE INFO ?

90% of ‘good’ catholics would be excommunicated
if they ‘advertised’ their ‘failing of church law’ !

(did I ramble or what ?  must be the drugs)
((I was on a roll there for awhile))
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_________________________________
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READ ON

(even those you should trust)

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(singing)

” YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT
AT ALICE’S RESTAURANT

(’ceptin Alice)

Arlo used that little ditty as a means
to keep un-willing volunteers out of

THE DRAFT !

(your sexuality could disqualify you in those days)

BUT EVEN THOUGH
GAYS CAN SERVE IN THE MILITARY…
there are many of all kinds of sexual orientation
that want OUT of the military !

THERE’S A MARINE IN THE NEWS
WHO JUST PROVIDED THE MEANS
TO COME HOME FROM AFGHANISTAN
AND OUT OF THE MILITARY !

Just put up FACEBOOK post

saying you WON’T obey the president !

(the commander-in-chief)

You’ll now get booted out of the army,
get a less-than-honor-able discharge…
(and be home in time for tea & biscuits).
but, in this day and age, does it really mean anything ?

The marine in question did ‘back-pedal’…
saying he meant ‘illegal’ orders…
BUT…
LEGAL or NOT
YOU STILL OBEY & LET OTHERS UP-THE-CHAIN
FIGHT THE ‘LEGAL’ BATTLE !
That’s the way it works…
(and once the election is over.. the winner IS your president)

Someone I work with (yawn) wanted to donate
to the marine’s defense fund…
I SAID “WHAT’S TO DEFEND ?  HE’S GUILTY ! ”
Lives depend on the chain-of-command in the military,
and you can’t announce (ahead of time) your contrary-ness !
IT’S ASKING FOR TROUBLE !

I don’t have freedom-of-speech on MY job
(I guess I do, but only up to a point),
The speech issue is a bad argument for a soldier !
AND… Him follow orders?
I too have to follow orders and do what I’m told !
(they don’t pay me to think)

THROW THE BOOK AT HIM ?

Sure, especially in an election year,
show everyone that you’re a ‘no nonsense’ leader,
and make an example of someone !!!
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POSTING ?

AND WHEN WILL THESE IDIOTS
REALIZE THAT ANYTHING THEY PUT
ON THE INTERNET IS NOT PRIVATE
(texting included)
AND LEADS RIGHT BACK TO THEM ?

How many important people have been ‘toppled’
by disclosures of on-line indiscretions ?

CASE-IN-POINT

In New Jersey, cop goes on a call…
at the house, speaks to a young girl while there,
ends up giving her his PRIVATE cell phone number,
not his assigned police phone.
Some calls, some texting, gets to the attention of her parents…
they tell the head cops, they tell the prosecutor…
and now a police ‘agent’ is doing the texting…
It gets racy, it gets sexual… at the peak…

THE COP TEXTS A PIC OF HIM IN HIS UNIFORM
WHILE EXPOSING HIS GENITALS !!!

IN HIS FRIGGIN’ UNIFORM !!!

This is more than ’sick’, this is insanity !!!

HE DIDN’T KNOW THIS WOULD
BITE HIM IN THE ASS ?

by the way…

THE GIRL WAS 12 YEARS OLD !!!

(but the cop said she had the body of a 14 year old)

GEEZ… SOME SICK FUCKS OUT THERE !

AND BRAZEN TO BOOT !!!

(YOU WONDER WHY PARENTS WORRY?)
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______________________________
-
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on a lighter note…

I MUST BE ON TO SOMETHING !!!

My daughter came into my room to borrow(?)
a ’scrunchie’ to tie her hair back…
She caught me with one of my own…
I was using a cigarette lighter to burn off
the few strands of hair that always come off
when you ’slide’ the elastic off your pony-tail.

SHE SAID… ” GOOD IDEA…

I USUALLY PICK OUT THE HAIRS “

and the funny thing?

SHE’S THE SMOKER
WHO HAS THE REASON TO HAVE A LIGHTER !

(she smokes the occasional black ‘herby’ thing)

ISN’T THAT TAUGHT IN

CHICK 101 ?
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_________________________________

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My daughter knocked loose the bumper cover
on her 2006 Scion backing up and hitting
the neighbors low, tapered, brick driveway retaining wall.
(just caught the mother-effin edge)
It was bolted back on (and reasonably),
but she had me thinking even more damage !

About a week later, she was complaining that
her car was driving ‘funny’…
where she used to take her foot off the gas
and it would roll by itself…
she now has to give it a pretty good jolt of gas
to get moving… and the ride was ‘off’ !

Coming back from Easter dinner at my mom’s
(all 3 of us were in my car),
I spotted the problem !

I said… “ONE OF YOUR TIRES IS FLAT”
(back tire, not quite half-way flat)

She said… ” WHICH ONE ? “

and some smart-ass (me) says…
” THE (obviously) FLAT ONE ! ”


SLUGGISH ?

I’M SURPRISED IT MOVED AT ALL !
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addendum…

I ate too much that day…
and with my blood clots & it being Easter,
I wasn’t changing into dirty clothes to change a tire.

I TOOK THE LAZY WAY OUT !

I called AAA (the auto club).
With HIS jack, it only took minutes
(and I did ‘tip’ him)…

HEY… I PAY THEM EVERY YEAR
IT WAS ABOUT TIME I CASHED IN !
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_______________________________

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I mentioned the ball used in
PINBALL MACHINES in a recent issue…
and I should have included this story…

I have an older brother (6 years)
so I was always trying to hang around with,
and be one of the old-for-my-age kids…

(boy… you get over that real quick as the years go by)

ANYWAY…
Pinball machines (used ones) used to be pretty cheap !
For $100 (not a fortune, but alot back then) my parents got us
a joint xmas gift… a full-sized, used pinball machine !
(mostly his… it was in the basement, not the living room)
I think we kept it the better part of the year
before my we (but mostly my parents) got sick of it !
(it’s quite noisy, especially in your house)
I think a friend of my brother took it off our hands for $50.
But before it left… I took out one of the 5 pinballs
and have kept it as a souveneir all these years !

The employees got to be quite expert !

(played for free on-the-job, spent your pay after hours)

TURNING MACHINES AROUND (so high the score returns to ‘0′)
WAS EXPECTED OF YOU BY THE END OF THE SUMMER.

(and ‘hitting’ for free games was second nature)

AH.. THOSE WERE THEY DAYS !!!

(then came girls and ruined it all)
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_______________________________

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WASTED AN ENTIRE EVENING !!!

(and I got scraps of papers with RIP item ideas
all over the place with no time to write them up)

I own a satellite radio they stopped making years ago.
In all the time I’ve had it .. NO PROBLEM !

WELL… NOW A PROBLEM

(thank god I’m clever though)
This radio is more like a walkman radio in guts,
but it transmits on fm to all house receivers.
THE TRANSMISSION GOT ‘WEAK’…
could hear every word, but hiss and no volume.

I WAS KEPT ON THE PHONE TO CUSTOMER SERVICE
A GOOD PART OF THE NITE !
All I wanted to know was if there was a problem
on THEIR end or MINE… Finally, a tech-y
was able to convince me it was my radio.
(he’d seen it before)

BUT I HAD AN IDEA HE DIDN’T SUGGEST…

I used the headphone jack and found that by direct wire
the signal was loud and clear…
Now don’t ask me why…
but in my drawer full of wires…
I HAD A 20 FOOT HEADPHONE EXTENSION CORD !
Which allowed me to run it to a boombox-y radio
I have that has inputs for a mp3 or headphone jack.
SO I’M BACK IN BUSINESS WITHOUT BUYING NEW
BUT LISTENING IS LIMITED TO ONE ROOM !
NO MORE OPIE & ANTHONY IN THE SHOWER !
(I’ll take it, I mostly record but now can’t listen when I record)

PASS THE SOAP !!!

CLEVER or CHEAP ?

I got usage back and only had to waste time !

addendum…

Just to bust my balls…
I tried the ‘transmitting’ part again the next day?
WORKED FINE, pissed me off…
but then went back to ‘bad’ mode soon after
validating all the work I put into it.

double addendum…
I get a hum from one channel from the 20 foot cord
(unplugging & plugging eliminates it),
bad for long recording sessions…
I still don’t remember where I acquired such a long
headphone extension cord (it was in my ‘wire’ drawer),
but I’m finding it hard to find someone who sells one !
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Just wondering…

What are the rules
for a magazine to use a picture for their cover ?
(or inside for that matter)

The photographer expects to be paid…
a specific model expect to be paie…

but a regular person ?

DO THEY PAY YOU ?
DO THEY GET YOUR PERMISSION ?
IS IT JUST CONSIDERED AN HONOR ?
ARE ‘YOU’ TRADED FOR PUBLICITY ?
WHY ARE SOME (models?) PAID
AND THE REST OF US SLOBS NOT ?

or

IF SOMEONE ‘DECIDES’ YOU ARE A PUBLIC FIGURE
YOU GIVE UP THE MONETARY RIGHTS
TO YOUR IMAGE ?

THAT  BLOWS !!!

I believe the estates of celebs cash in (forever?)
how about the rest of us ?

If some ‘artist’ ‘morphs’ your image
and makes it ‘art’…
IS HE THE ONLY ONE TO CASH IN ?

I HAVE A FEELING THAT
‘SIGNED RELEASES’
CAN’T POSSIBLY EXIST
FOR ALL THE ‘NUTHIN’ PEOPLE PICS OUT THERE !

(and signed with minimal, or no, compensation?)
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TOO SERIOUS THIS WEEK ?

Ya gotta take the bad with the good…
and by my estimation,
as we approach infinity…

YOU GUYS ARE IN FOR A BUNCH OF ‘GOOD’ ISSUES !

HOW CAN YOU MISS ?
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___________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 654 – SCIENCE – Zoom ! †

April 28, 2012

———————

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I had a little Einstein on-the-brain
this past weekend, so it seemed
appropriate to build an issue around science.

First, my west coast visiting son had a yen to watch a movie.
I suggested the Walter Matthau (as Albert Einstein) comedy

I.Q

(with meg ryan back when she looked like herself)

We no sooner found our copy and put it on
when we realized it was being shown on tv…
Not only shown, but by coincidence,
no more than 2 minutes out-of-sync with our copy !

I got to tell MY story about stopping at Einstein’s house
at 112 Mercer Street, Princeton, NJ
and taking a few stones from his yard for my collection.

Also, picked the neighbor’s brains about the movie.
Albert’s ceilings were too low, so they used 114 Mercer
and built a copy of the 112 porch on it.
(the old cars parked and used were cool too)

I was surprised there was no memorial or museum
at the house, but was told that it was against his wishes,
and that the house was regularly assigned faculty housing.

SPINNING IN HIS GRAVE ?
I read recently that the house WOULD be turned into
a museum-type local point of historical interest.

I’m sure he doesn’t mind

HISTORY ‘trumping’ MODESTY

(AND IF HE DOES MIND?  OH WELL)
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R.I.P

WARREN STEVENS

Actor Warren Stevens most memorable role was
his portrayal of “Doc” Ostrow in the 1956 sci-fi movie
“Forbidden Planet “

Stevens’s career in stage, film and television spanned 60 years.
Besides “Forbidden Planet,” he had a supporting role in
1954’s “The Barefoot Contessa” with Humphrey Bogart.

As a young studio player, Stevens had little choice of material.
Despite occasional parts in big films,
Stevens was unable to break out consistently into A-list movies,
so he carved out a career in TV as a journeyman dramatic actor.

Stevens was a familiar face on TV,
with appearances on such shows as
“Bonanza,” “Star Trek” & “Combat.”

In happier days with FORBIDDEN PLANET co-stars
Richard Anderson & Earl Holliman



(Stevens is on the left)

REST-in-PEACE
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Re: the Secret Service Prostitution Scandal ?

I’m thinking re-assigning agents is more efficient
then out-right firing them !
I could be wrong, but there was probably
alot of time and expense in training them !
(and it takes a certain person to take a bullet)

IF ANYONE SHOULD BE FIRED
(and first)
IT SHOULD BE THE HIGHER-UPS
WHO ALLOWED AN ATMOSPHERE
WHERE AGENTS COULD GO ON
‘SPRING BREAK’ !

If they knew about it… GUILTY !
If they DIDN’T know about it… GUILTY !
Someone was looking the other way…
(several levels of ’someones’)

NOT A TIGHTLY RUN SHIP AT ALL…
and THE CAPTAIN runs the ship !
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SECOND HAND SMOKE ?

(c’mon)

… In 2003, it accounted for an annual loss
of 12.8 million school days.

RIDICULOUS PRESENTATION !!!

READ IN IT’S ORIGINAL FORM
INSTEAD OF THE MEDIA SCARE TACTIC…

Asthma affects approximately 20 million people;
4 million children missed a cumulative total of 12.8 million
school days due to
… cockroaches, pet dander and secondhand smoke,
as well as cold or flu virus and …

THAT MAKES MORE SENSE !

Even IF non-asthma kids are exposed to 2nd-hand-smoke,
and it would probably have to be at extreme levels,
wouldn’t you think the effects might take
a decade or 2 to create the problem ?

EVEN I CAN SEE IT AS ‘CREATING’
NONSENSE PC SCARE TACTICS !
(and I’m a lifetime non-smoker)

They shoot themselves in the foot
when they try to pass off such nonsense !

WE GET THAT SECOND-HAND-SMOKE IS BAD…

SMOKING IS BEING ‘WEANED’ OUT OF EXISTENCE…

JUST WAIT IT OUT !!!

Who-ever put that altered quote out
forgot that the generation that was reading it
grew up with smokers EVERYWHERE !
(even your doctor smoked)

AND IT NEVER WAS THE SOLE CAUSE
OF ANY EXODUS OF THE SICK FROM SCHOOLS !
(personally, I just needed a day here & there
to sleep late & watch cartoons in my underwear)

REMEMBER ALL THE SMOKE ?

Even though it didn’t kill my dad,
I still regret (and am haunted by)
the cartons of PALL MALLS we’d give him
for Christmas & Father’s Day !

(uh.. good kid gift.. a carton was only $5 at the time)
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Came across this great pic
when doing the Warren Stevens tribute…

THE HOLY TRINITY



ROBOT

(Lost in Space)

GORT

(The Day the Earth Stood Still)

and

ROBBIE
(numerous credits)
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DON’T EVER VOLUNTEER

YOUR DNA…

Chances are that some hospital has entered
your information on a DNA data base anyway
(without your permission.. unless in the ‘fine print’),
but, I often see tv police investigations trying to
eliminate(?) suspects by ‘volunteer’ DNA !

You think… SO?    I didn’t do anything, go ahead !
But even with THEIR ‘promise’ that the sample
will be destroyed after the test ?
YOU NEVER CAN BE SURE
YOU’RE NOT IN SOME ‘BLIND STUDY’,
OR PUT IN THE DATA BASE ANYWAY !

POLICE ARE ALLOWED TO LIE !
(YOU are not)

Invasion of privacy, intrusive, un-constitutional ?
THE REPLY FROM THE AUTHORITIES
WOULD MOST LIKELY BE…

” MY BAD “

You can write it off as…

” I’m not a criminal “

BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT !

I’d hate to ‘rat-out’ a relative
by those ‘close-connection’ studies they do !
AND I DO HAVE RIGHTS !
and

I’M NOT A RAT !!!

I’d like a signed agreement
that penalizes THEM for $$$$$
if somehow my DNA profile gets out !

WHY NOT ?

DON’T THEY SAY IT WON’T BE PUT
ON A DNA DATA BASE & DESTROYED ANYWAY ?

GIVE ME THE ‘PAPER’ ?

I’ll fill-up a gallon jug with samples for you if you sign !!!
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BLOOD

I had a doctor appointment
and the nurse came in as she always does
and took a few ‘tubes’ of blood from my arm.
NO BIG DEAL…
do it all the time for one test or another.

But since my last ultra-sound on my legs
was so positive, at the conclusion of the appointment
he told me it was for nothing,
he wasn’t going to send my blood in for any tests !

YOU DON’T NEED IT ?

” CAN I HAVE THE BLOOD ? “

I was told ‘NO’
that I’d probably try to give (mail) it
to someone and get arrested !

HE KNOWS ME SO WELL !

That’s just what I had in mind !!!

(at the very least, keep it in the fridge for ‘guests’)

The ‘blood-test-place’ probably needs it
to enter on a dna data base !
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TRAIL MIX !!!

I went back to Wegman’s Supermarket,
back to the trail mix station,
only my 2nd time there…
I planned to buy the full pound container…

As I reach for the scooper in the raw cashew area,
a woman just completing her ‘mix’
warns me that someone just stuck their hand
in the cashews and was eating out of it !!!

DAMN !

Why did she have to tell me that ?
I’m sure it happens a ‘thousand’ times a day,
but THAT I can only speculate on
(and enjoy the ‘mix’ in ignorance),
I DID NOT NEED CONFIRMATION !

I FILLED MY CONTAINER ANYWAY,
BUT IT’S RUINED THE EXPERIENCE FOR ME !

The same ‘ruin’ I got from go-go bars !

A LONG time ago, I figured to ‘bond’ with the guys
at work, go out for a few drinks, a few laughs,
and see some naked (young woman) tits !

(shake that money-maker baby)

ONE NITE…

I was ill… more than a cold, less than a flu…
but felt like shit… (just getting over it)
I was ‘coerced’ into going out anyway…
I didn’t have that good a time,
but had an epiphany !!!

I SAW THESE MOSTLY NAKED GIRLS
HANGING ON ALL KINDS OF NASTY,
PROBABLY DISEASED A-HOLES…
(if I came sick, why not them?)
PICKING UP ALL KINDS OF ‘SLIME’
FROM THE CUSTOMERS
(plus their own)

and like they say…

HAVE SEX WITH ONE PERSON ?
YOU’RE BASICALLY EXPOSED TO
ALL THEIR PREVIOUS ‘CONQUESTS’
AND WHATEVER NASTY STUFF THEY CONTRIBUTED !
(just being near them was ’skeevy’)

WELL… IT CURED ME !

I’VE NOT BEEN TO A GO-GO BAR IN DECADES !
(the fun was gone, it was now a petri dish)

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ONE LAST THING…

My (growing-up) kids knew me as a homebody…
it struck them as odd
if I took a nite and went out with the boys,
and leave them with behind (I took them everywhere).

MY DAUGHTER WAS IN FRONT OF THE DOOR
AND ASKING ME WHERE I WAS GOING ?
(just being nosy?  or jealous of leaving her behind?)

SO I TOLD HER…

” I’m going to a bar to drink beer
and watch naked ladies dance,
and put money in their underwear ! “

AND HER REPLY ?

” C’MON, WHERE ARE YOU REALLY GOING ? ”
(the truth works better than lies sometimes)

A few years ago, she caught me telling that story,
and she remembered it, and was incredulous
that I was telling the truth that night !
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________________________________
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I was at an INTEL office
and put forth the proposition
that you can PETITION INTEL WITH PRAYER…
PETITION INTEL WITH PRAYER…
YOU CAN NOT PETITION INTEL WITH PRAYER !!!

Anyway… I suggested a site (pay?)
where operating systems (any one you like)
could be used remotely for whatever reason
from ANY operating system you happen to be using…
like… favorite software compatibility.
(I take a ‘college course’ in a graphics program,
next operation system? I have to re-buy
and it’s changed enough to annoy me)
I WAS TOLD… ” IT’S COMING “
(great news for me and my odd  RIP Renfield requirements)

BUT… I WAS ALSO TOLD
TO CHECK INTO…

VIRTUALBOX
(it’s free and totally amazing)

VirtualBox is a cross-platform virtualization application.
What does  that mean? For one thing, it installs on your existing
Intel or AMD-based  computers, whether they are running Windows, Mac,
Linux or Solaris operating  systems. Secondly, it extends the capabilities of your
existing computer so  that it can run multiple operating systems
(inside multiple virtual  machines) at the same time. So, for example,
you can run Windows and Linux  on your Mac,
run Windows Server 2008 on your Linux server,
run Linux on your  Windows PC, and so on,
all alongside your existing applications. You can  install and run
as many virtual machines as you like
the only practical  limits are disk space and memory.

THEY USE AN EXAMPLE OF A MAC CAN RUN WINDOWS 7 !!!

LIKE I SAID… AMAZING !!!

CHECK IT OUT…

http://www.virtualbox.org/manual/ch01.html

addendum…

For me, personally?
I can run WINDOWS XP on any ‘new’ OS !
From Windows 8,9, whatever…
I can use the graphics program I spent too much time mastering.
I can do RIP from AOL8 & make HTML backups for the archive.
AND OTHER OLD FAVORITE PROGRAMS CAN BE USED FOREVER !

EASY PEASY !!!
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CABLE TV for DOGS ?

According to research on the canine brain,
with analog tv, dogs could only see a flickering screen.
New technologies like digital TV, high-definition cameras,
and enhanced production have changed the way
dogs perceive the images, while big screens allow them
to see from anywhere in a room.

Do dogs really understand what they’re watching?

It appears that dogs not only recognize other dogs,
they may even respond differently to their own breed.

What you won’t find on DogTV
are the sounds that blare on regular TV:
no gunshots, no explosions, no heavy metal music.

Dogs can see blue and yellow, but not red or green,
so colors are altered for DogTV too.

Based on dog sleeping pattern studies,
programmers alternate footage and soundtracks
designed for stimulation, relaxation
and exposure throughout the eight hours.
(8 hours until it repeats)

AND IT’S ONLY

$4.99 per month !

(very successful in test markets, coming to you soon)

ADDENDUM

TV for dogs doesn’t surprise or shock me,
but I found the ‘colors perceived’ totally interesting !
I never knew dogs couldn’t see red or green…
(Is Green Lantern invisible to dogs?)
-
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-
_____________________________________
-
-
-
-
with ‘real’ spring here…

I’ve been ‘puttering’ around the yard…
’sprucing’ things up and all…

THOSE GREEK STATUES

REQUIRE SPECIAL HANDLING !
-
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-
_________________________________

-
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-
-
The DNA mystery is more than you think…

From the BBC…

Astonishingly, ONLY 1.5% of the genetic material
in our cells codes is for human life !

Half of the rest is sometimes referred to as
‘junk DNA’ with no known function,
and the other half consist of genes introduced by
viruses & other parasites !

GEEZ…

I THINK I SAW THAT STORY IN THE X-FILES MOVIE !
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_________________________________
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Found myself watching Billy Wilder’s…

THE  APARTMENT

(Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine, Fred MacMurray)

((great movie, lots of oscars))

CAN’T REALLY CALL IT A DRAMA…

It was way too entertaining !
(even with the montage of ‘adult’ vices featured)

The ‘creator’ describes it as COMEDY… who am I to argue?

And SHIRLEY MacLAINE ?

I don’t think young star watchers
can understand how desire-able she was !
She had that certain ’something’ !

ANYWAY….

There was a Christmas morning opening-the-gifts scene
with Lemmon’s boss’s kids under the tree…

The same YANKEE DOODLE ROCKET LAUNCHER
that I got one Christmas as a kid !
(from REMCO)

I was VERY young… but I remember the
plastic bubble roof of the launch bay
(opening long ways from the center),
the rocket ship (multi-stage with satellite payload)
laying on it’s side, move-able to launch position…
from the side control panel.
(not a small contraption)

GREAT TOY…

NICE TO SEE IT AGAIN IN THE MOVIE !
(mine didn’t last long)
So old, I was surprised to find the image on google !

IMAGE ?  HOW ABOUT A LIST OF EARLY

SPACE  THEMED  TOYS…

http://www.bigredtoybox.com/cgi-bin/toynfo.pl?spaceindex

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_______________________________

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I got a great compliment the other day…
can’t think of being more pleased
at receiving any other (rare) compliment…

After I started walking away,
as the other person was getting in an elevator…
he called over to me, and said…

” YOU’RE A GOOD HUMAN BEING ! ”

I was humbled & ready to blush !

(I don’t believe him, but it was nice to hear anyway)
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_____________________________________
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a camera glitch or an alien ship ?

(alongside some pic of the sun appears a manufactured object)

if you haven’t seen this yet,
check it out….
Wouldn’t it be amazing ?

perhaps some long ago abandoned ship
just floating dead in space ?
(it has to be enormous)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LgDY40Px_A

(the first 20 seconds are all you need to see,
as they zoom closer to the sun & the object,
someone turned it into something else after 20 seconds)
-
-
-
that’s all folks…

TAKE ME HOME TONITE

(be my pretty baby)

GOTTA GO…

MY RIDE IS HERE !!!

(you won’t believe what anti-matter costs these days)
-

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 653 – DEAD DICK †

April 21, 2012

———————

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I didn’t have the chance before

(too stoned)

but, now that the smoke has cleared…
I’d like to wish you all a

HAPPY 4-20 !!!

Also woke to the,
how can you say un-expected death,

of the ailing DICK CLARK !

and equally un-expected coma recovery

of ROBIN GIBB !

Gotta be some ‘magic’ in the air…

oh wait… it must be the left-over ’smoke’ !

We ain’t talkin’ ‘tender years’ like
EDDIE & THE CRUISERS sang !

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_________________________________
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I could do a ’standard’ death tribute…
but won’t everyone else be doing that ?
Instead of ignoring the man’s death
(like I usually would to one well-covered),
I decided to give it the old Renfield ’spin’
and tell an (imagined) anecdote…
-
-
-

R.I.P

DICK CLARK



Hey, Dick Clark was around forever,
but I couldn’t believe how ‘busted-up’
a co-worker was over Clark’s death.
He looked like he could use a friend,
so I went out for drinks with him…

After 5 or 6 ’shooters’, I had to deal with a crying,
whining guy, hanging all over me…
telling me how much he loved

‘DICK’ !!!

HOW BADLY HE NEEDED DICK !
HOW HE’D BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR DICK !
EVEN ABOUT ‘BREAKING IN’ A NEW DICK PERHAPS !
BUT REALIZING ONE DICK WAS ALL HE COULD HANDLE !
and then something about ‘twinkling’ or ‘twinks’,
or something like that anyway.
(probably referring to Clark being a star)


I felt bad for the guy…

he even said he didn’t think he should be alone,
and that I was welcome to spend the nite at his place.

I probably should have…
but instead I wanted to get home to my wife, kids,
and my dailies on the computer & RIP stuff.

I had things to do and he just held on, moaning…

I want DICK !

I need DICK !

(totally inconsole-able)

There were times, I swear,
that you’d think we were having
2 different conversations !
-
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-
JUST DID A WOMEN’S SURVEY…

Seems there’s nothing sadder than an

UN-RESPONSIVE
or
DEAD DICK
-
-
-
TIP-OF-THE-HAT

to someone who won the ‘game’ !
Dick Clark was wildly successful & savvy nice guy…
FOR A LONG LIFETIME !
(and no muss, no fuss, no ‘tacky’ pubic ceremony)
((private, a cremation, & ashes spread over the Pacific Ocean))

CLASSY

REST-in-PEACE

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________________________________

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I’m lucky if I’ve run into

5 people of ‘note’ in the rest of my lifetime…

and I don’t think any of them would remember me…
(pierre larouche, ulf nillson, sean burke, jim mcgreevey)
((okay.. mcgreevey forgets nothing, he’ll know your name))

SO IT WAS AMAZING

THAT ON THURSDAY…PRE-FRIDAY-the-13th…
I HAD 3 SUCH OCCURENCES !!!

FIRST

I ran into ERIC LeGRAND
You might remember his as the Rutgers football player
from 2010 that…
…suffered a severe spinal injury during a game
against the Army Black Knights in New Meadowlands Stadium.

I’m a fellow Rutgers alum… knew his number…
and ‘wished him luck’…
I HOPE I WAS A BRIGHT SPOT FOR HIM !

THEN…

I got home from work…
and there was a note in the US mail to me
from one MISS SUSAN LUCKEY !!!

(a really nice person… I’m glad to be an almost-friend)

THEN…

I made a call to my RIP Graphics person in Oregon
mentioned the above…
and then remembered that a legitimate,
money-making, working novelist
ran across my 10 year old NORTHERN EXPOSURE
alternate final episode… wrote to compliment me…
and we made a ‘connection’ !
Turns out that although I’d never heard of her…
my OREGON-connection not only knew of her,
but had read her… and was impressed
that I’ve been having a dialog with ROSE PRY.

LOOK AT ME…

ACCEPTED BY THOSE SEVERAL RUNGS
UP THE LADDER FROM WHERE I STAND !

EVEN IF MY ROGUES GALLERY DOESNT’ IMPRESS YOU…
FROM WHERE I STAND…
I’M WITH SOME PRETTY COOL PEOPLE !

AND ALL IN ONE DAY !!!

Maybe it’ll happen to me again in another 50 years !
-
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______________________________

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HEADLINE…

Experts: Photos of U.S. soldiers

handling corpses very bad for war !

IN THAT CASE

Absolutely right… and if we can’t do it right,
we should stop ‘playing’ and end the war,
get the hell out of there
and bring all our guys and ’stuff’ home !
(and teach the soldiers to drink tea with their pinkies out)

WHO WANTS A ‘BAD’ WAR ?
The Marquis de Queensbury must be
spinning in his grave !

As the enemy finds a flaw to use against us,
a humanity they don’t possess…

WAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE HELL !
(and our ’strained’ soldiers with NO end-game are in it)
-
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_________________________________

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Re: women in the Secret Service

(not having the ‘flaws’ of men agents?)

uh.. doesn’t sexism go BOTH ways…
(I guess not)
Shame on this ’supposed’ journalist who said…

“Seriously, can you imagine a bunch of
Secret Service gals going on a trip to Colombia,
where they are scheduled to secure the environment
for their boss, who happens to be, oh,
the most powerful man in the world,
and then hiring a bunch of call guys?”

SHAME ON HER LIMITED, SEXIST VIEWS…

If a man had said ANYTHING about women’s limitations,
or male superior abilities for a job
there’d be hell to pay !  A career ender !

And I guess there’s NEVER been a sex loving woman,
in a security position, who ’scratched-her-itch’ !
Much too superior to their male counter-parts !
SEXIST,SEXIST,SEXIST
(this ain’t a SPICE GIRLS competition)

AND THE TERM… SECRET SERVICE ‘GALS’ ?

GALS ?

A little depracating, no? Disparaging them ?
Sounds more like presidential tupperware party girls !

NOTE TO SELF…

Put MEN on the list of people
it’s okay to ’shit-on’ !
(along with Christians)

addendum…

Just think, if that ONE cheap-skate agent
had just paid the girl what she wanted
AND DID DAMAGE CONTROL,
(you’d think they’d over-pay to keep the girls happy)
none of this would be in the news,
everyone would still have their jobs,
no one would have been disciplined,
and congress wouldn’t have to go thru-the-paces
in mock out-rage ! (costing millions plus time)

I HAVE A FEELING HE HASN’T MANY FRIENDS AT WORK !
(must have been a real a-hole to not see where this would go)

I’M THINKING THE ‘SEX-WORKER’
WON’T BE TOO POPULAR WITH
THE OTHER GIRLS EITHER !

(she ended ALL trade with ANY gov’t worker come to town)
-
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-
______________________________
-
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-
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SPEAKING OF THE ONE-WAY-STREET
THAT SEXISM LIVES ON…

I remember JOAN LUNDEN from years ago…
Her ‘talking-head’ career had gone gang-busters
under the tutelage & whip-cracking of her former
’svengali’ of a husband !
(from weather girl to Good Morning America co-host)

(AMAZING HOW A LITTLE VASOLINE ON THE LENS
TAKES AWAY THE FACIAL ‘FLAWS)
-
-
THEN CAME THE DIVORCE !!!
The way I remember it…
JOANIE LOST HER SHIT
when she found out the down-side of
COMMUNITY PROPERTY !
She was angry that…
SHE HAD BEEN THE BREAD-WINNER
(earned her money herself)
THAT HE WAS ENTITLED TO HALF
(minimally a ‘healthy’ settlement)
AND POINTED OUT THAT HE WAS
AN ABLE-BODIED MAN WHO SHOULD
GO OUT AND EARN A LIVING
INSTEAD OF ‘STEALING’ FROM HER !

I’m sure she was a real embarassment
to the Women’s Movement of that time that was ‘pushing’

EQUALITY OF THE SEXES

(there is a downside to being ‘equal’)

PLUS…

AND AREN’T ALL OF HER ARGUMENTS
THE SAME ONES USED BY TRADITIONAL
MALE BREAD-WINNERS OF THE PAST ?
(and present?)

and where is Joan now ?

(THAT’S CLOSER TO WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE)

((NOT BAD, BUT PLASTIC & SUN-DAMAGED))

SHE’S LUCKY IF THEY USE HER
FOR AN INFO-MERCIAL THESE DAYS !

From major interviews to hawking beauty aids !
Mmm… Maybe her husband DID ’steer’ her career
and DID make her what she USED TO be !
-
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_________________________________
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NJ GOVERNOR CHRISTIE

was caught sleeping at a Bruce Springsteen concert
by a nearby ‘music lover’ with a camera…
(can’t go anywhere anymore)

THE GOVERNOR IS OFFERING AN EXPLANATION
(who asked?)
” I wasn’t sleeping, I just closed my eyes, leaned back,
and was enjoying the music…”
(or something like that, he had just returned from Israel)

Well, that’s HIS official explanation…

but I listened to the employee of sirius-xm radio,
who was the one who originally tweeted the pic,
say that CHRISTIE was not only asleep…
(for more than a short time)

BUT WOKE WITH A START

when someone yelled out…

” WAKE UP YOU FAT BASTARD ! ”
-
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______________________________
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NOT A NUMBER ONE TOURIST DESTINATION…



The airline industry really ‘cleaned-up’ on fares
during the recent induction ceremonies at the
ROCK & ROLL HALL of FAME !

You could fly to CLEVELAND, OHIO

from anywhere in the USA for $100.

But the caveat ?

YOU HAD TO PAY $900 TO GET OUT !
(and it’s worth it)
-
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-
_______________________________

-
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With the renewed interest in THE 3 STOOGES
due to the ‘new’ movie coming out…
I thought we could re-visit them in their hey-day !

WHO ARE THOSE HANDSOME GUYS ?

Actors? Yep, they put it on !



I NEVER KNEW THE WIL SMITH VERSION
WAS A RE-MAKE !

AND FINALLY…

this proves what I always thought…
that my AUNT RONNIE looks strike-ingly similar to
LARRY FINE !!!

ARE MEN IN DRAG STILL FUNNY ?

Or is it seen as insulting to cross-dressers ?
Would BOSOM BUDDIES have to be done
as a serious drama instead of a comedy ?
Should SOME LIKE IT HOT make us un-comfortable ?
Is VICTOR-VICTORIA still a positive movie ?
-
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-
________________________________
-
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My younger sister must have finally gotten a scanner.
She’s a little behind the curve and is one of those people
who want to ’share’ their ‘new’ skills with everyone
on her mailing list who went thru the same phase
10 or more years ago !!! Things that DON’T amaze us !

ANYWAY…
She takes advantage of professional printers at work
and makes hard-copies of many of our family ‘gems’.
(MANY copies, not usually ‘keepers’)

THIS WAS A KEEPER…

My parent’s wedding photo…

THEY REALLY DID IT UP NICE IN THOSE DAYS !
(look at that ‘train’)

THE FUNNY THING ?

I’ve probably been around most of those people
at many times during my lifetime…
and I can easily identify the men in the photo…
(and my parents)

BUT THE WOMEN ?

Except for LUCILLE BALL,
I have no idea who they are… (not from the pic anyway)
I know that Marie Mastromonica is there…
SOMEWHERE !

But women’s looks change so much more than men,
it’s hard to tell the ‘players’ without a ’score-card’ !

ADDENDUM

The coloring & the make-up of ALL the women
in the pic are similar… no stand-outs !
Kinda the same as a RIP item I did a few years back…
There was a pic of Hugh Hefner with dozens of girls
poolside, standing tiered like a high school chorus…
You could see Hef… but the rest of the pic was
BLOND HAIR, BLACK EYES, & RED LIPS !
No real distinction between the ‘clones’ !

Not the best example, but you get the idea…



BUT

The one dark-haired girl stood out like a beacon,
and was the ONLY one with ANY individuality !
A REAL STAND-OUT !
Not the way to ‘hide’ in the pack like the others !

THERE’S SOMETHING TO BE SAID ABOUT
NOT BEING THE SAME BLOND AS EVERYONE ELSE !

(my wife is english.. naturally blond.. doesn’t count)
-
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____________________________________
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I’ve never led a really ‘wild’ life…

or have I ? (days were more innocent)
For some reason the subject of ‘cocaine’ came up
and the bad experience the ONE time I tried it in college.
(had a heart flutter… no big deal… but scary anyway)

My daughter remembered the story and particularly
avoids anything to do with the drug !
Well… she was shocked & annoyed when I innocently
recalled another time I tried it…

It was NEW YEAR’S EVE at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN
at a NEW YORK RANGERS GAME !

They used to traditionally play that night…
leaving you ‘raring-to-go’ in Manhattan
when the game let out at (usually) 10:30pm.

The stairwells (the ones with the fire doors)
would be packed with people between periods
standing in a cloud of smoke smoking pot !
(usually a cop standing ‘guard’ outside the door)

Some of our ‘accountant’ buddies from the row behind
joined us that nite & brought out the ‘coke’ !
I didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of them
and Judy Z. from their group
(I had a thing for her)
so I jumped right in and did a ‘toot-ski’…
MUST HAVE BEEN SHITTY STUFF…
My heart never ‘fluttered’, ‘cept for Judy !

I HEARD THEY CRACKED-DOWN
ON THE POT SMOKING AT MSG IN LATER YEARS,
but it could have started up again by now !

For me, back in the innocent early 80’s
when pot smoking wasn’t a big deal
(now inside cigarette smoking is a big deal)
it didn’t seem particularly wild !
BUT TO MY DAUGHTER ?
(who was shocked & went wide-eyed)
” How come I missed all the ‘good’ stuff ? ”
Seemed like a world run amok to her !

I’m totally against pot smoking NOW,
I think it’s the reason my short-term memory is shot.
And I did feel my head come out of the ‘clouds’
months after I quit for good decades ago !
(you graduate college, the party is over)

ONE MORE THING…

I got to meet Ulf Nillson one time… great guy !

and

POTVIN (still) SUCKS !!!
(famous Ranger chant… over 30 years now)

I was in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the
L.I.E. (long-island-expressway) one time
and managed to work my way to the side of a car
that had a NY license plate that said.. ‘HOCKEY 5′
Thinking it might be Carol Vadney (nicknamed – the waste)
I, instead saw number 5, Denis Potvin, looking back at me…
Me, who now had a disgusted look on my face
and gave him a dismissive wave of my hand !
(he really does suck)

Hey, maybe I DID have a wild day or 2 !!!
-
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_______________________________
-
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from an OLD Doctor Who episode…

THE MORE ADVANCED A CULTURE,
THE SIMPLER THE OPERATION
OF THEIR TECHNOLOGIES…

WHOA !!!

The flight deck of the space shuttle

ENDEAVOUR
-
-
AND ALL WE NEEDED FOR KING KONG
was

-
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-
_________________________________
-
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-
SPEAKING OF TV SHOWS
ABOUT TO ‘START-UP’ AGAIN…

DOCTOR WHO SHOULD BE SOON…
but
there is one scheduled to go…

-
-
-
-
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

for

SHERLOCK

The super, modern interpretation is back
for a 2nd BBC series… (3 in the first).

YOU’LL FORGET ALL ABOUT BASIL RATHBONE !
THIS IS PHENOMENAL !  JAW-DROPPING !

The premier of the ‘new’ shows is on MAY 6th.
But I’m sure they’ll be showing the firsts 3
before that date to get everyone up-to-speed
or back in the ’swing’ !

TEXTING, COMPUTERS, CELL PHONES,
ELEGANT CRIMES, ELEGANT SOLUTIONS…

THEY MANAGED TO DO IT RIGHT !

(I can’t wait, I’ve been looking forward to new shows)
-
-
-
_________________________________

-
-
-

SPEAKING OF DOING-IT-RIGHT…
-

JUST LOOK AT THIS PIC OF

ANNE HATHAWAY !!!



THAT’S ENOUGH…

Now wipe off the ‘drool’

and continue on with RIP Renfield…
-
-
-
_____________________________

-
-
-
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BREAKING the new REBECCA BLACK hit..
right here in River City…
on RIP Renfield…

Number 1 with a bullet ?

Well, not number 1, but put 6 in the chambers.

” IT’S SATURDAY, IT’S SATURDAY,
DON’T HAFTA GET UP ON SATURDAY…”

addendum…

Rumors of a follow-up…

” IT’S SUNDAY, THE ONE DAY,
GOTTA GET DRESSED FOR CHURCH DAY…”

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

THEY’VE ALREADY FORGOTEN ABOUT REBECCA
-
-
-
________________________________
-
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I’M ABOUT TO BREAK OUT IN SONG…

AS I LEAVE YOU…

I’m so glad we had this time together,
just to have a laugh or sing a song,
seems we just get started and before you know it…
IT’S TIME FOR ME TO TAKE A ‘LEAK’  !!!

(tugging 3 times… not my ear though)
-

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 652 – TAX TIME †

April 14, 2012

———————-
–
-
-
-
ISN’T LIFE GENERALLY TAXING ANYWAY ?

Well it’s time again for the gov’t
to ‘request’ THEIR pound-and-a-half-of-flesh too !
(a pound doesn’t go as far as it used to)

ON TOP OF THAT…

FRIDAY the 13th starts the weekend,
and you “don’t like mondays” already ?

THIS ONE’S A DOUBLE WHAMMY !

TAXES & FRIDAY the 13th GO TOGETHER LIKE…

” a horse and carriage “

AND LIKE…

” soup and sandwich “

(the old campbell’s soup song commercial)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSslttrqSn4
(close as I could get)

I’ve gotten my (nice) return already,
amazing how many people will be crowding
the post offices, last minute, to get theirs done !
AND
Even knowing the deadline is Tuesday…

MANY PEOPLE WILL BE LOOKING
FOR FORMS THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN
MONTHS AGE or PRINTED OFF-LINE,
and banging on Post Office doors after closing !
-
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-
___________________________________
-
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-
-
-
as the BEATLES (Sgt.Pepper) sang…

IT WAS 20 YEAR AGO TODAY…
er, 20 years ago last week ?
-
-

HARD TO BELIEVE 20 YEARS HAVE PASSED…
BUT
HE’S BEEN DEAD 20 YEARS THIS WEEK !

R.I.P

SAM  KINISON

More than funny, a scream, an original
that came out of the earliest days
of the stand-up comic explosion of the 80’s !

One of the top comics of his class…
I’d easily place him in the upper-upper echelon !
A  LEGEND !  ONE OF THE KINGS !!!
When the greats are discussed.. he’s there !

Those days are long gone, it’s a different world…
but hearing some ‘ancient’ clips,
you can’t deny…
THEY STILL STAND UP !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKNoJ2BzSRU

GREAT ONE WITH RODNEY in BACK TO SCHOOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xfi4s8cjLFI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMM8KMBNNDw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdVwinoP18Y&feature=related

A real mess when he was killed,
a ‘bulb’ burns brightest before it burns out,



and he WAS ‘burning’

from a ‘fast’, out-of-control life-style !

Who knows if he would have
‘found his way back’ ?

BUT, IN DEATH, YOU DON’T FADE AWAY
(hey, hey… my, my…)

HE’S WASN’T THERE TO DISAPPOINT US EITHER…

(where is Dice Clay these days?)
-


Rest-in-Peace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TYtJahcoDg
(a Kinison song tribute – the sounds of Kinison)

((a real heart-breaker))
-
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_______________________________

-
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Some of those ‘themed’ postage stamps
can have too much a message sometimes.

Like when you need a greeting card and
have to go thru 100 to get an ‘accept-able’ comment !
One that’s legitimate and won’t cause a fight
for being a ‘wise-guy’, or perceived as sarcastic !

ANYWAY…

I recalled a time a few years ago,
when I had to mail something to the IRS…
I’m thinking it was an adjustment to my taxes.
(in THEIR favor)

WORRIED THAT I MIGHT BE PERCEIVED
AS A ‘WISE-GUY’ TAKING A SHOT AT THEM
(calling them a mickey mouse organization?)

I peeled the stamp off and used another…
(bambi I think)

BE JUST MY LUCK THE STAMP
GETS THEIR ATTENTION
of some low-level flunkie,
AND THEY DECIDE TO AUDIT ME
FOR THE LAST 30 or 40 YEARS !!!
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REMEMBERING THE KIDS…

(back when they were little)

Ahhh… my favorite rant
when they needed yelling at….
was a variation of this…

GO AHEAD, PLAY IN THE STREET !
BUT IF YOU GET RUN OVER
AND I HAVE TO SPEND THE DAY
IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM WITH YOU…
IT’S GOING TO RUIN MY WHOLE DAY !!!

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AND I HEARD TELL OF A WOMAN
WHOSE 5 YEAR OLD DROPPED TO THE STREET,
PRONE, FACE DOWN, IN NYC…
AND REFUSED TO MOVE !
AND THE MOTHER WAS TRYING TO ‘COOCHIE-COO’ HIM,
REASONING WITH HIM TO GET UP !
(while the father had that ’shoot-me-already’ look)

It might have been all show for the people around them.
(she might have pulled him up & swatted him in private)
BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE !!!
Face-to-face with a street homeless pee & shit on ?
(then there’s the vomit, filth, rats, and car drippings)

By the time I was half-an-aisle away,
they came back to their senses, looked to see me leaving,
and came running, with a much better attitude !
(hey.. I didn’t want to be associated with bratty kids)
ONCE THEY KNEW I’D BE ‘JETTING’ AWAY
THEY BEHAVED THEMSELVES MORE TIMES THAN NOT !
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Something to ponder…

“The most dangerous strategy is

to jump a chasm in two leaps.”

- Benjamin Disraeli
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well…

I’M GELLIN’ !!!

(phonetic…  jellin)

Not with my Doctor Scholl shoe inserts…

I’ve decided to try to tame my un-ruly
long hair and ponytail !

Right out of the shower… hair towel dried…
I brush, put in pony-tail scrunchies,
and my hair is great… for about 2 hours !
(I look at girls with ponytails in awe
at how good they keep them up & up-keep them)

With the summer coming up…

I NEED SOMETHING !

SO with the help of my daughter…
we picked out some ‘man-ly’ hair gel !

IT AIN’T JUST SLAPPED ON !

Applied wrongly, or too much & your hair goes stiff…
like too much hair spray. Too little ? WHY BOTHER !

So I’m experimenting to find out the best usage…
learning what every girl learns when she’s
11 or 12 years old !   Real pain-in-the-ass
what the girlies have to go thru !
(I just want a piece of it, enough to get by)

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY !

They recommend wet hair, towel dried hair,
apply and style then & there.
Today, I put more than usual in my palms
and ‘pasted down the area behind my ears
leading to the ponytail… the real un-ruly (still short) part.
(who knows if that hair will EVER grow long)
With whatever was left on my palms,
I spread my fingers and ran my hands
thru the rest of my hair, front-to-back.

I’M HOPING I CAN DUPLICATE THE RESULTS !
THE PONY-TAIL IS REALLY ROCKIN’ THESE DAYS !!!
(took long enough)
Good for 3 or 4 hours, then baseball cap for a few hours…
Cap off ? not bad at all… a re-brushing at home
and I’m still almost as gorgeous as I was in the morning !
(and from the front, the ponytail isn’t really obvious)

I SHOULD GROWN ONE BACK-IN-THE-DAY…

WHEN I WAS A PLAYER !!!

(I confess.. ‘playing’ in the bridge-game-of-life.. I was ‘dummy)
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EAVESDROPPING ?

I can’t remember the reason it came up at work,
but the question of ‘recording’ voices or images
of ‘un-know-ing’ people came up.

The glut of iPhone videos showing ALL
was used as an example of… WHY NOT ?

Phone the Police ?

You’ll hear the standard ‘beep’ every 15 seconds
which is the signal that you are being recorded.
and
For some reason (keeping cops & people honest?),
police are allowed to ‘record’ traffic stops…
I GUESS IT PROTECTS ALL OF US !
(cops have to keep their a-hole-ness in-check)

RECORD SOMEONE CLANDESTINE-LY ?
GO AHEAD, SHARE IT !

YOU can be prosecuted both criminally,
and personally sued in civil court !

FINALLY,  THE  iPhone RECORDING ?

From my personal study of cop & lawyer shows on tv,
the phrase…

EXPECTATION of PRIVACY

comes to mind.

In YOUR house, on YOUR phone, in YOUR car…
you have an expectation of privacy.
BUT
Out in public?  YOU are fair game
for the video-graphers !
(except for places that specifially ban cameras or recorders)

I’VE HEARD THAT MALL SECURITY WILL STOP YOU.
(I KNOW the guards at Rahway Prison will send you on your way)
and YOU better have a kid in the competition
if you’re filming a kid sport or competition !

I’M ON THE SIDE OF GOD IN THIS…

but I don’t understand how (legally) a random guy
attending (and filming) young kids can be hassled !

MY OPINION ?  ARREST THE BASTARD !

But, for example, if the parents are OKAY with
their cheerleader daughters doing go-go-girl routines
and calling it ’sport’… why are they offended
by some ‘wacky’ male watching or filming it ?
(they can stay home now, DANCE MOMS is on tv)
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addendum…

I’m reminded of the time my teen son
had a girl friend over to cut his hair.
He got one of those moe-howard, mushroom-head hair-cuts
with the sides & back shaved.  I found it hilarious he wanted
to look that way… and went over with a camera
to capture the event… HE GOT ANGRY !

” You just want to take my picture,
so you can laugh about it years from now ! “

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Yes ‘grasshopper’, you know me well…

He was right, of course…

(laugh now, years from now, & in my old age)
((they got some long-hair pics of me that still get laughs))
(((even though my hair has never been longer than it is now)))
((((they may be STILL laughing at me))))

but I replied to him…

” Why would you NOT want a photo of the haircut ?
You obviously thing it, and you, look good.
Why would you get a haircut that’s silly & laugh-able ?
Aren’t you going to be ’showing off’ in public with it ? “

HE COVERED UP…

I NEVER DID GET THE PIC !
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“You’ve achieved success in your field

when you don’t know whether

what you’re doing is work or play.”
-  Warren Beatty

I had to think about this one…
RIP Renfield was started as play, felt like work for awhile,
still does occasionally, but it comes so easily(?) to me
(I’m in the groove mostly)
I GUESS I REALLY CAN’T TELL ANYMORE !!!
MAYBE IT’S MY OWN BRAND OF SUCCESS !!!
(too bad it doesn’t pay the rent)
- renfield

addendum…

the web site is approaching 500,000 hits
and that’s only since 2006,
about 25,000 a  month, give or take…
I’m feeling the ‘love’… (success?)
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ABSOLUTELY MAKES SENSE…

Oil and gas production may explain a sharp increase
in small earthquakes in the nation’s mid-section,
a new study from the U.S. Geological Survey suggests.
The rate has jumped six-fold
from the late 20th century through last year.

LOTS OF EMPTY SPACE DOWN THERE !
SHIFTING & QUAKING !!!
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JEEZ…

ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION…

All I wanted to know is what the guy
preferred to be called…

” ARE YOU A RICHARD or a DICK ? ”

and he says…

(I agreed, maybe a little too fast)
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the answer to the AGE-OLD question ?

Georgie Porgie, Puddin’ and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away

Why did the girls cry ?

Why have YOU never questioned why ?

Georgie Porgie is a nursery rhyme
and was seen as an early reference to sexual harassment.

Of course, Georgie Porgie, nowadays, would undoubtedly
be sued in a class-action for sexual harassment by the ACLU.


Kano refers to him in his Bad Boy lyrics, see example
she said she wants a man dat wants 2 treat de woman right
She dont want a georgie porgie dat kissed da girls & made dem cry

WHEN I KISS ‘EM

THEY STAYED KISSED

AND ONLY THE GIRL AT THE BACK

OF THE LINE IS CRYING !

(who said that ? ME ? Not even in my dreams)


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I had this ‘brilliant’ idea for a RIP item...

HOW DO THEY MANUFACTURE THE BALLS
USED IN PINBALL MACHINES !


Perfectly rounded, polished silver color,
the friction co-efficient adjusted for
maximum playability and rebound,
the proper weight…

A DIFFICULT THING TO MAKE CORRECTLY ?

and then ?

SOMEONE SAID TO ME…

” they probably make them like they make bearings…”

AND IT RUINED MY ‘BRILLIANT’ IDEA !!!

What is a ‘pinball’ except for a LARGE bearing ?
(and those you can buy by the bag-full cheap)
((pinballs? 6 for $20… big whoop!))
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I just found out me (and the neighbors)
were driving the mailman crazy…

There’s a house, 3 down from me,
that’s been FOR SALE for a very long time.
So the mailman hasn’t delivered there for a long time.

Since each house has ONE of those large garbage cans
(one-man truck, mechanical pick-up of garbage)

once you fill YOUR can, you’re stuck with the rest !
(Unless you sneak out, late nite, to next door)
So when one of the neighbors has over-flow,
we just fill the one from the vacant house,
wheel it to the curb, and bring it in the next morning…
(I HAD 3 LOADS OF BUSH CLIPPINGS TO GO)

TURNS OUT

The mailman has gone on alert.. MANY TIMES…
when he sees signs of life from the house…
waiting for the NEW family !

I SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM GUESSING…
BUT SLIPPED-UP AND LET HIM KNOW THE DEAL !
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Duh…

This 25 year-old engineer
whose day job is submarine robotics
at an engineering college…
INVENTED SUCH A GREAT DEVICE ?
(leave it to an engineer to find a difficult solution)

An ugly, $350 alarm clock
for people who just won’t get-out-of-bed
and wake up to a regular alarm.
Electric, with battery backup, no way to shut off the alarm !
EXCEPT
to go to a keypad you keep in another room
and punch in the day’s date !

WELL…
I don’t have the problem anymore…
but when I did…
I bought a $20 battery operated alarm clock
with an ‘infinity’ option for length of alarm.
THE TRICK ?
Put the alarm on the OTHER side of the room,
forcing you to get out of bed to shut-it-off !
ONCE STANDING, AWAY FROM THE BED,
YOU ARE AWAKE !
WITH THE SAME RESULT THIS $350 CLOCK GIVES YOU !
(only thing missing is the ’silly’ keypad)

THINK YOU’LL STILL JUMP BACK IN BED ?

Just in case the battery goes dead,
I bought a 2nd ’same’ alarm clock.
I set it for 10 minutes later
(can’t shut it off easily before alarm time)
forcing me to get out of bed a 2nd time
if I wasn’t already awake !

I SPENT AROUND $40 TOTAL !

The ENGINEER spent countless hours
perfecting his super-alarm clock,
and now has to find ‘idiot’ customers somewhere
willing to shell out the price of a laptop computer
for a friggin’ alarm clock !
(plus mine are portable & aren’t 2 pieces of plug-in furniture)

AND AN EVEN BETTER (cheaper) IDEA ?

Write an ‘app’ that you can sell for $2 for your smart phone…
CAN BE USED NORMALLY WITH ALARM SET !
Disable the alarm shut-off,
disable the power shut-off
(when alarm is set),
download a very loud, piercing alarm sound…
keep it across the room…
(probably charging or charged enough)
take with you portable…
ANDTHE ONLY WAY TO SHUT OFF THE ALARM
IS TO KEY IN YOUR OWN PHONE NUMBER !

I JUST SAVED YOU $348 DOLLARS…
(and could probably make a few for myself)
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one more time…

(tooting my own horn)

BIG NEWS !!!

RIP Renfield… the website…

is fast approaching 500,000 HITS !!!
(and I’m only personally responsible for 450,000)
It may very well have reached it already…
less than 5,000 to go last time I looked !
(I’m doing about 25,000 a month these days)

AND IT ONLY TOOK ME 47 YEARS !!!

Actually, there was more traffic than that…

RIP was an email subscription until 2006
(I’m still ‘weaning’ people off that once ‘large’ list
that got aol’s attention thinking me a spammer)

((JUST GO TO THE FRIGGIN’ “.COM” !!!),

Then Dave (sunsetcowboy) helped up-my -ame
by both getting my domain name
and web-mastering for me !

(and with Pill on graphics?  I WAS COOKING !)

SO IT STARTED OFF SLOWLY…
AND NOW I’M ALMOST RESPECTABLE !

(pshaw)
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IN HOLLYWOOD or NEW YORK CITY…

this would be a ‘nothing’…
they probably budget for such things…

(and it’s not MY tax money, so I have no personal objection)

SO…
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I’m not sure if this made national news.. but… after the ‘glow’…
the cash-strapped city of Newark, NJ’s residents are grumbling
a bit at the cost to the city of the WHITNEY HOUSTON funeral.
Some comments can be read here…
http://www.facebook.com/CBSNewYork/posts/425081477508478
Some think, since the city got NO financial benefit and that the family
had abandoned Newark long ago… the estate should pay the
$187,000 it cost for security !   I’d argue that the family didn’t request it
and the city took it on by themselves !
A shame, but in the very poor city, school kids go without…
I’m sure some of them are hoping no other BIG funerals come to town…
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FOR YOUR MUSIC EDUCATION

or FOR MUSIC DISCUSSION…

you can always see what Forgotten Hits has to say…

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

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IF YOU WATCHED THE SAM KINISON YOUTUBE CLIPS
YOU’LL SEE WHY I THOUGHT THIS ‘FIT’ IN THIS ISSUE..
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BLOOD

With the blood thinners I take,
I’m surprised I don’t bleed as easily as I did 6 months ago.
(or so it seems)
I’M NOT A ‘BLEEDER’, I AVOID BLEEDING AT ALL COSTS !

Well, I poked a small ‘wound’ into the palm of my hand,
and sure enough, a goodly amount of blood
came from that tiny, tiny puncture…
I was at a KFC at the time, so I asked the girl
behind the counter for a napkin (to blot it).
She was giving me a small handful,
so I held up my bleeding palm to say I only needed one.
SHE SAID … ” WOW, YOU’RE REALLY BLEEDING ”

and I say…

” Eh (or is that ‘ah’)… IT HAPPENS
EVERY YEAR AROUND EASTER TIME !



SHE DIDN’T GET IT…

CRUCIFIXION HUMOR usually goes over BIG this time of year !
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WELL, IT’S TIME TO WIND-DOWN THIS ISSUE…

Someone wrote to me about last week’s issue…
she ‘accused’ me of getting-out-of-the-wrong-side-of-bed,
or not getting enough sex !
(well, that goes without saying… I’M MARRIED)
I thought it just a regular on-the-rag kinda issue
like I always do… WASN’T  IT  ?