RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 642 – SUPER BOWL  †

February 4, 2012

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I heard a few years back
that media that doesn’t pay-up

are NOT allowed to use the term
SUPER BOWL in their broadcasts…

BIG GAME, CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, YES !

I can’t see how you can ‘own’
the name of the event out-right !
BUT… it must be enforced, since it IS honored !

Since the NJ team, the Giants are involved…

I guess I’ll tune in for a bit…
If it’s an ‘excitement’ that ‘reaches’ me…
or a close, or bloody, game…
I MAY WATCH MORE…
but it won’t effect my bedtime…
and it ain’t an eatin’ day for us…

I STILL DON’T GET THE ALLURE OF THE GAME !
Or why the S-Bowl is a ‘family affair’ that’s a cross between…
NEW YEARS & THANKSGIVING celebrations !
(drink, stuff yerself, cheer, throw-up)

Funny how you can watch movies on tv for hours without eating,
but if you set foot in a movie theater for 1 1/2 hours ?
(or watch the game on tv?)

OH MY GOD… GET THE SUPPLIES !

I always figured FOOTBALL to be a gov’t plot
(other sports for other times of the year)
to keep ‘idle’ minds occupied with nonsense
instead of giving thought to over-throwing the gov’t !

An event where cellular-memory takes over
and ‘activates’ an instinctive need for war & aggression !

Leading to a season ending championship ‘battle’,
with the mob using it as ‘FOREPLAY’…
hoping-the-hope it will result in a
gladiatorial-group-orgasm !

(LIKE SEX, IT LEAVES THEM ‘SPENT’ !)

THEY’VE IGNORED ‘HOW MISERABLE THEY ARE’ !!!
We may be miserable… but hooray… we got football !
EVEN THE SICK & UN-EMPLOYED GET A RESPITE
AND CAN FORGET LIFE & CHEER !
(over-seas soccer is the same ‘brain-number’)
((they can kill other fans, just leave the gov’t alone))


OKAY.. THAT’S MY INSIGHT TO THE GAME…

Doesn’t thrill me, doesn’t excite me…
just a regular day with an effed-up tv schedule…
The game isn’t over as this is posted,
so no updates or opinions on play…

Well one… from a restauranteur in New Brunswick, NJ…

He just doesn’t like areas in Massachusettes…
(and their sports teams)

AND A REGIONAL TEAM ?
EVERYBODY GETS TO CLAIM THEM ?

C’mon !

I’m thinking of creating a team I call…

THE ‘LOWER 48′ – REAPERS
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He’s Sooooooooooooo, DEAD !

R.I.P

Don Cornelius

“Soul Train” host Don Cornelius was the arbiter of cool,
a brilliant TV showman who used his purring, baritone voice
to seduce mainstream America into embracing black music & artists.

But the “love, peace, and SOUL!”
he wished viewers as he closed each show
for decades escaped him as his life descended into marital trouble,
illness and, finally, a fatal self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Police said they went to his Mulholland Drive home around 4 a.m.
after receiving a call from one of his sons,
who became concerned after being contacted by his father.
Cornelius, 75, was found shot and was pronounced dead an hour later.

THE TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION !

(love that Shirley Hemphill hair-do)
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There was an episode of a tv show called

A GIFTED MAN

(super-surgeon, lousy human, ghost wife helps him)

Where an artist had so much inspiration,
and so many picture in his head,
that he had to draw at all times to get them out of his head !
(and it was good stuff that was selling, as opposed to his
lifetime of shitty work that was ingored)

Turns out he had a brain tumor
that was causing the creative flow…
(tumor out? he went back to ‘normal’)

I KINDA KNOW HOW HE FEELS…
(minus the brain tumor)
I’M SITTING HERE, A DAY LATE…
THE RIP RENFIELD ISSUE PRETTY MUCH DONE
(I can get it out, and posted, in an hour at most)

BUT

I’VE BEEN WRITING ITEM-AFTER-ITEM !!!
They just keep coming to me…
THEY ARE ALMOST WRITING THEMSELVES !
(I have to get them out or they’ll ‘disappear’!)

Nothing I have notes on, nothing that was on my mind,
but I probably have another issue’s worth of material
because I can’t stop myself from writing…
one ‘thread’ leads to another, than another
that has no connection to the first thread,
and then I’m ‘running’ with that one…

KINDA LIKE THE RIDE YOU CAN TAKE
WITH YOUTUBE VIDEOS !

I promised myself that this is the last one
and then I get down to the ‘work part’
not the talent part of RIP Renfield !

I know… I know…

IS THERE REALLY A ‘TALENT’ PART ?

(I do the best with what I have to work with)

I’d like to think that at some level
I AM a ‘gifted man’ (yeah, in my dreams),
but at least I’m thinking myself a ‘LUCKEY’ man
since Christmas with no signs of my joy diminishing !

SOMETIMES LIFE DOESN’T SUCK !!!

ADDENDUM…

I’m going to miss the tv show   when it’s gone…

PAN  AM
minimally pre-empted for the super bowl…

I thought the show ‘retro-entertaining’, early 60’s era…
(and it had lots of hot chicks)

I liked it even BEFORE Christina Ricci’s lesbian kiss !

(ABC-tv tried EVERYTHING to save the show)
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by the way…

PAN AM MERCHANDISE IS HOT RIGHT NOW !

If you have ANYTHING Pan am,
Ebay is the place to be !
I managed an Ebay purchase (I’m cheap)…
the bag I bought (daughter’s birthday)…

The same bag has gone for $50-75 !

But I ‘watched’ and sneaked in a purchase
when the auction ended during a football playoff game !
($22)

FUNNY THING ?

I used to own the exact same bag back in the 70’s,
I carried a medium-sized reel-to-reel tape recorder in it.
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anybody remember a little ‘fad’ called

GLOBAL  WARMING ?

It was the cause-du-joir a few years ago.
You COULD NOT get away from it !

Although we’re only a month into a VERY mild winter,
it would seem a perfect time to drive home
any point the ‘warming’ people might want to make !

WITHOUT GETTING BEAT OVER THE HEAD
WITH THEIR ‘Public Relations Blitz’…
I’m even considering the possibility !

(nah… we’re just a ‘pimple’ on the world’s ass)

WHY ISN’T THE ‘GW’ ARMY
CHAMPING-AT-THE-BIT ?
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from Rinso-Don

Re: trying the ‘local’ honey to acclimate
you to the areas ‘pollen’ ?

Whenever I go to a new town,
I also check out the ‘local honey’…
but usually she’s a $30 dollar hooker,
it’ll clean your pipes,
but you still have the allergies !

renfield says…

Hey ‘big spender’…  for $30 ?

You should be glad if ALL you end up with is

ALLERGIES !
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Has anyone else picked-up-on

the folly of this offer ?

A car insurance company (probably more than one)
are such good guys that they offer the…

VANISHING  DEDUCTIBLE !!!

For every year without an accident,
your deductible (probably at least $1000)
will lessen $100 until it hits zero !

WOW… HUH ?

What a great deal ?

To cash in, YOU have to be at fault in the accident !

If it’s NOT your fault, the other driver’s insurance
picks-up YOUR deductible…
(happened to me last month, we were right, we collected)

In addition, if YOU DO get to make-use of this

VANISHING DEDUCTIBLE

It means that you had an AT-FAULT accident
and they’ll get back the part that ‘vanished’
in your increased insurance rate !

MY company… NJ Manufacturers

(only 2 states, consumer reports top company)
doesn’t do the ‘vanishing’ deductible…
For as many years as I’ve had them,
if you don’t have a claim in the previous year,
they declare a dividend and divide it among
the good (or lucky) drivers…
SO I get back a YEARLY CHECK (most years)…
on BOTH my HOME & CAR Insurance costs !
(not bad, huh?)
NO AGENDA, JUST A GREAT COMPANY !

addendum…

At least in NJ, insurance companies automatically
accept fault for accidents with police vehicles as a courtesy
(at YOUR expense)
My son found out the hard-way (he was innocent),
but we were helped by our mayor at the time,
a ‘gay-american’ who went on to higher office.
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THE ‘PUNCH’ JUST WASN’T ENOUGH…

R.I.P

to that damned driver’s-side headlight !

I hit it back to life for a week…
but for $9 I ain’t playin’ with it no more !
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one more quickie…

I mis-judged… the person ’servicing’ CURTIS SLIWA
told me that Curtis is the nicest person you’ll ever meet.
Always ready to talk and shake-hands,
and always willing to take a photo with you !

I SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE GONE OVER & SAID ‘HI’ !
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a ‘winter’ tip…

Every winter, whenever I catch a nice day,
I ‘run’ my air-conditioner units
(ones that aren’t winterized or removed)
for 10 minutes or so, a couple times during the season,
to keep the machinery from ‘locking’ or rusting-up.

They way this winter is going,

I made need to used them for cooling !
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(non) PONY-TAIL NEWS…

I used to tell people that after I stopped cutting & coloring
my hair a few years ago… that I had a ‘look’ in mind…
From Harry Potter… the ‘LUCIUS MALFOY’ look…

I had un-done my pony-tail and was brushing out my hair
when my daughter walked in…
and without knowing the ‘look’ I was going for, said…

” YOUR HAIR IS KINDA LIKE DRACO MALFOY’S DAD’S HAIR ”

WHOA !!!

MISSION  ACCOMPLISHED !

My hair isn’t quite as long, and not as well groomed…
(wild ends and ends not shaped)
and I look NOTHING like him…
But since I ALWAYS do the pony-tail,
no one sees the ‘malfoy’ in me !

We decided to ’shock’ my family
at the next holiday or party gathering !

(and this year’s trick-or-treaters get to see it)
(I’m told I have a ‘young’ face, but old hair, like it’s not real)

Personally, I take it as a compliment…

the character’s an a-hole, but his hair ‘rocks’ !
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I’m sure it’ll work to their advantage one day soon…

BUT

in my own little survey…

Lottery agents are claiming (to me)
that since they doubled the price of
POWERBALL LOTTERY TICKETS

from $1 to $2

(with a larger opening BIG prize you’re not winning anyway)

Most customers aren’t buying as many tickets
as they did for $1 !   I’m sure the plan was for
all the ‘degenerate’ lottery players (that’s us)
would just suck it up and play their regulary numbers
at twice the price !   Seems people are budgeted tighter
than that and are spending the same amount of money
as before, but getting half as many tickets !
(I know I cut back and many others have the same idea)

MABYE PEOPLE JUST LET IT SINK IN THAT
YOUR ODDS OF WINNING WITH 100 TICKETS
ARE ONLY MINISCULE-Y GREATER
THAN WITH ONE TICKET !
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thought you heard it all ?

(hardly… I keep going & going & going…)

Police in the south of Chile have arrested a man
on suspicion of stealing ice from the Jorge Montt Glacier.

Officials in the town of Cochrane found
five tonnes of ice in the back of his truck.
Police suspect the ice was destined for the capital, Santiago,
to make gourmet ice cubes for upmarket bars & restaurants.

The paper says the ice in the back of the vehicle
was worth about 3 million pesos ($6,100; £3,900).
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THE OTHER NITE

I stopped at BURGER KING

for a few of their SUPERIOR dollar hamburgers !
(lettuce, tomato, cheese, bacon)

I NOTICED A ‘NEW’ MENU ITEM…

THE CINNABON !!!

I love a good cinnnabon… but I’m rarely in the mall.
A nice big sloppy one, an extra container of icing,
warm it when I get it home… hmmmmmm…

SO THERE IT IS (I’m at the drive-up)…

I order one for $1.99 (3 for $4.99).
I tell the guy at the ‘window’ something like this
could bring them alot of business !
(if good, he assures me they are.. he had 2 already)

I get home and am excited to see the LARGE
cinnabon box in the bag under the burgers !
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the disappointment ?

You could fit 4 of THEIR cinnabons
in the packaging the 1 came in !
It WAS good… a good 3 or 4 bites…
But I would have been alot happier
to pay $4 and get a regular-sized mall one !

IT WON’T MAKE ME COME BACK FOR MORE !
(the dollar fries are another story… FANTASTIC)

addendum…

I’m quite the expert at the ‘value menus’
at the fast-food places !
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Just saw a commercial
for a heart-warming tale about kids
whose efforts turn to saving whales trapped by ice,
forcing the whales to stay at small openings in the ice.

CROWDS COME OUT TO OPEN A PATH IN THE ICE…
(based on a true story)
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FINE I GUESS…

but why screw with the cycle-of-life ?

Recently I’ve seen a show about the hunting habits
of polar bears.  (not much too eat on the ice desert)
Seems the bears depend on whales trapped in the ice.
As the whales come up to ‘breathe’,
the bears attack & swipe at the whales,
until they are hurt enough to become ‘floaters’,
so they bears can feed on it.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GETTING INVOLVED
IN THE NATURAL SELECTION OF THINGS ?

Whales live, Bears die ?

Why do people get to choose?
(especially when polar bears are the home team)

BUTT OUT !

A better movie would have been one about
polar bears feasting on people trying to free whales !
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ARE WHALES CUTER ?

LIKE THOSE ‘CUDDLY’ KOALA BEARS ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8oLu7znwQ0&feature=related

(if you try to pet one, you’d better count your fingers when done)

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another update  ?

Re: the ex-Mrs. Howard Stern toilet rim exhaust fan?

I mentioned this to my plumber (since I never saw one).
The only one he knew about was more of a bidet
toilet seat-type device… (sounds right to me)

IT DOES EXIST

HE’S INSTALLED ONLY 2 OF THEM IN MANY YEARS…

Most people balk at the $2000 price-tag !
(and that doesn’t include the toilet itself !

VERY UNDER-STAND-ABLE WHY

I’VE NEVER SEEN ONE IN PERSON !

BUT WHEN YA GOT ‘STERN’ MONEY,
PRICE IS NO OBJECT !

(especially for an ex-wife)
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the game is ‘a-foot’… again !!!

I had been disappointed waiting for new episodes
of a brilliant, well-received, modern-day, re-working of
the lengendary, fictional consulting-detective…

Sherlock Holmes
(computers, cell phones, texting, etc)

that the BBC had commissioned from Doctor Who people
(done in that same slam-bang style).
Fast, clever, great stories… at the final scenes in the
last of the 3 episodes in SERIES  1,
I SAT THERE WITH MY MOUTH (literally) OPEN !

SHERLOCK

already played to rave reviews & large audience in the UK
(just finishing the 3 – SERIES 2 episodes on Jan.15).

It’s going to take a few months…
BUT I’D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
THE PREMIER OF THE NEW SERIES OF SHOWS
on Public Televison (PBS)  MAY 6th, 2012 !!!
(I may have dvd’s sent me, if I can’t wait that long)

I CAN’T THINK OF A SHOW
THAT EXCITED ME AS MUCH AS THIS
IN A LONG, LONG TIME !

addendum…

The final episode ends at REICHENBACH FALLS
and you know what that means (wink,wink).
BUT THEY’VE ALREADY ANNOUNCED
A 3rd SERIES when previous commitments
by HOLMES & WATSON are completed.

HOLMES – the villian in the new Star Trek movie.
WATSON – in New Zealand for THE HOBBIT.
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and to end the SUPERBOWL ISSUE

(please don’t turn-me-in for saying ’super bowl’)

I leave you with the NOTRE DAME fight song…

(words by Renfield, music by Michael & John Shea)
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Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame,
If we got kid touchers, they get the blame,
Don’t you call the campus cops,
Call out the Bureau, call out the SWAT,
What though the odds be great or small
Old Notre Dame will prosecute all,
While her ‘pervy’ (ex)sons are marching
to their last taste of liberty !

Hey.. not bad… that took no time at all !
(told ya things write themselves!)
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Gotta go…

Have a party to go to !
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 641 –  the SICK BOY †

January 28, 2012

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SICK  BOY

(formerly Luckey boy)

I can’t think of the last time I was THIS sick.
I NEVER get a flu shot & NEVER get the flu…

UNTIL NOW ?

I was chugging along all week,
I was chugging along all day friday.
I was on the phone about 8pm or so…
Suddenly I get a chill… I try to ignore it
but it gets worse… I get off the phone…
close the window that had been open a crack,
and get under 2 blankets…
I’M STILL SHIVERING !
I put my hands down my pants…
(this time for warmth)
and it literally takes me an hour to get comfortable !
I now have the heat turned up to 75 degress !
(occasionally we use 73 in dead of winter).

NOW I’M SORE, MY JOINTS ACHE…
(I got ‘fat fingers’… like swollen)
THEN THE HOT FLASH OF FEVER !
I had that moaning-soreness…
that everytime-you-move groan of pain !
Sleep was sporadic, hot-cold-hot…
bathroom trips frequent (to pee) and dry mouth.

I think I conked-out more than I did during the nite
about 6 or 7 in the morning…
and laid uncomfortably, but asleep(?)… till 5 pm !

Earlier in the day, I said to my wife how I felt like
I HAD BEEN BEATEN WITH A STICK !
She said…
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN BEATEN WITH A STICK !

The ONLY good thing?

I never believed in 24-hour bugs…
but I’m 75% better about 24 hours later…
and with a good nite’s sleep?
I’m hoping by Monday to be back to normal.
(or what passes for normal with me)

The part I can’t figure out?

Where I was exposed to this bug !
I don’t know anyone who’s sick,
no one at work has it either,
and it’s not food-poisoning !
(stomach the only thing that’s good & no ’shits’)

and just so you know…

I’m REALLY making an effort to do an issue this week…
Most of the items are in-the-can…so it’s just cut-and-paste.
BUT I’M STILL ONLY CAPABLE OF 10 MINUTE BURSTS !

on a personal note…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUSAN
(MY Susan, not the star)
RIP Vince Gordon
(you left a hole in my life buddy)
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Since I’m not feeling well at all,
and used the ’sick’ banner above
with the homage signed – renfield’s mother
(some coincidence.. THAT banner, HIM dead, ME sick)

IT’S ONLY RIGHT TO RIP TRIBUTE

R.I.P

ROBERT HEGYES



Most known for portraying Juan Epstein
on tv’s WELCOME BACK KOTTER,
He later appeared on 30 tv shows…
(including SNL with Quentin Tarantino)
He started off-broadway,  made it to broadway,
was a member of touring companies,
and artist-in-residence at his alma mater, Rowan University.
(he had teaching credentials)

Point-of-interest?
John Travolta is godfather to his children.

signed…

EPSTEIN’s MOTHER
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NEWT  GINGRICH

Not particularly a fan of his,
not particularly a fan of ANY politician…
(I ignore the ‘under-card’ completely)

BUT

FINALLY, someone had the balls
(the desperation?) to say what needed saying !!!

IT WAS REFRESHING !

Something voters haven’t heard in a long time !
(righteous(?) indignation, indignation anyway)

IF IT WORKS, IT MAY START A TREND !
MAYBE ‘broken’ WASHINGTON NEEDS THIS !

No matter how much scrutiny a candidate gets,
the winning candidate, in the end, is NEVER a choir boy !

MAYBE WE SHOULD ACCEPT THAT ADULTS
WHO WEREN’T GROOMED FOR OFFICE
SINCE THE AGE OF 12
WILL PROBABLY HAVE THE SAME ‘WARTS’
AS THE REST OF US & OUR FAMILIES !

Is the TRICK to get ‘blown’ AFTER elected,
and THEN you get a pass?
(I’m lookin’ at you Bill Clinton)



CHOIR BOYS (and girls) DON’T EXIST !
All we end up electing are the BEST liars & actors !

NEWT GOT A HEAD-OF-STEAM GOING
BY ‘POINTING-OUT’ TO THE DEBATE MODERATOR
THAT, EVEN IN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES,
THERE IS A TABLOID MENTALITY !
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and as PRESIDENT ANDREW SHEPARD said…

” These are serious times for serious people, Bob,
and your 15 minutes are up…
My name is ANDREW SHEPARD and I AM the president ! “
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ONE MORE THING…

Can you REALLY expect someone’s ‘wronged’
ex-wife to be forthcoming with the absolute truth
when it comes to the a-hole that divorced her ?

COULD SHE HAVE AN AGENDA OF HER OWN ?

SHE MIGHT POSSIBLY BE TELLING THE TRUTH…
BUT HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CREDIBILITY !

AND IF SHE WASN’T IN ON THE PLAN…

SHE ‘BACK-PEDALED HIM’ INTO VOTER POPULARITY
WITH HER (possibly) VINDICTIVE (very public) ACCUSATIONS !

Wow… so NEWT is the ONLY politician who likes
to get laid outside his marriage !

(he denies her version & she can’t come up with corroboration)



(geez, why would he lose interest in a bundle-of-joy like her?)
((her going public is an indictment of HER short-comings, not his))
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NEWT MAY NOT WIN…

BUT AT LEAST HE’S MADE IT INTERESTING !

HE’S ‘SHAKING-THEM-UP’

WITH SOMETHING THEY DON’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE…
CUTTING THRU THE BULLSHIT & GOING ON THE ATTACK !
(and letting the ‘chips’ fall where they may)

HE’S MAD AS HELL

AND HE’S NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE !

(the press REALLY has been treating one ‘leader’ with kid gloves)
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by the way…

I argued last issue that a FACEBOOK threat to

SLIT SOMEONE’S THROAT

(from a 20yr old to a 17yr old)

isn’t free speech,

more like terroristic threats or bullying,
and if you didn’t believe that it was a crime
try saying something ‘un-toward’ to the president in print.

WELL…

Some (regular print media) columnist did just that !
HE’S APOLIGIZING ALL OVER THE PLACE… NOW !!!
(and his media ‘rep’ will probably quash criminal charges)
BUT THE SECRET SERVICE IS ON HIS ‘CASE’ !
and an investigation (& charges?) is the least he can expect !

SO MUCH FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH
WHEN IT COMES TO THREATS OF VIOLENCE !
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CAN’T MENTION ANDREW SHEPARD
without bringing up his ‘main-squeeze’…

ANNETTE  BENING

It was a horrible part, horrible politics
(so far over-the-top views only existing in fiction),
and her acting was HORRIBLE…

but she was so damn cute in

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT
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WHAT HAPPENED TO HER ?

She’s gone from being able to play
the presidents’s sexy girlfriend
to playing the president’s wife…

IF THAT WIFE IS HILLARY !!!

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THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

(not particularly this one)

BUT… WHY DOES A SITTING PRESIDENT
(especially one who DID have party control in Congress)
WHO IS RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION…
talk about what he is GOING TO DO ?

HE’S THE PRESIDENT DAMN-IT,
WHAT’S HOLDING HIM BACK FROM
IMPLEMENTING THOSE IDEAS NOW ?
(or a year ago, or 2, or 3 ?)

WHAT WILL BE DIFFERENT AFTER THE ELECTION ?
(party control on congress may not change in november)


WHY IS IT ALWAYS PROMISES
AND NOT A ‘LIST’ OF IDEAS IN ACTION ?

WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE NEED & WANT…
Hearing it in a speech doesn’t make it happen !
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Didn’t realize that J C PENNY’s
was in THAT kind of trouble…
not a store I frequent…
(never go there at all actually, a dinosaur?)
NO MORE SALES ?
BEST PRICE ALL THE TIME ?
(yeah, right)
If this ‘gimmick’ doesn’t work
it’s probably CHAPTER 11 for them !
(it has the feel of desperation)
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I’m not quite on-board
with this HATE-CRIME thing…

Longer sentences for the same crime
just because of an ‘extra’ reason ?

IF THE ADDED TIME IS APPROPRIATE,
GIVE IT TO ALL PERPETRATORS OF THAT CRIME !
(don’t split hairs on reasons)

I was in a ‘discussion’ years ago
concerning jail sentencing.
The complaint was that ‘white’ people,
get less ‘time than ‘minority’ people for the same crime.

I AGREED IT WAS A PROBLEM…

BUT HAD A DIFFERENT SOLUTION…

The other person thought the ‘minority’
should get out sooner,
and I thought the ‘white’ guy should
stay in just as long as anyone else !

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME IF SOME A-HOLE
CRIMINAL IS BACK ON THE STREETS SOONER ?
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__________________________________

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(continuation)

TRAFFIC (camera) LIGHT ETTIQUETTE

CAMERAS ‘catching’ red-light runners
have no interest in making you safer !
IT’S A MONEY MAKER
and I have every intention of them
not making a dime from me !

I’VE HEARD ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY
(and it’s my experience too)
THAT THE TIME THE YELLOW  LIGHT IS LIT
HAS BEEN SHORTENED NOTICE-ABLY !
(especially tough when you’re going 50mph!)

DO YOU STOP? DO YOU GO?
BETTER YET… DOES THE CAR BEHIND YOU STOP ?

I can’t afford (or justify) the $140 TICKET…

Sooooo…

THAT LIGHT TURNS YELLOW,
I HIT THE BRAKES.. HARD !

I NO LONGER GO RIGHT-ON-RED…

JUST IN CASE I MISSED THE SIGN…
(or didn’t spot the camera)
You can beep all you want from behind,
I’m not moving till the light turns green !

and probably the MOST DANGEROUS

thing I do on the road (because of the cameras)…?

If I’m approaching an intersection & have the green light…
(when I may not be close enough to ‘beat’ a yellow light)

I NOW ACCELERATE THRU THE INTERSECTION !

Hopefully the car on the cross street doesn’t mis-judge
my speed & distance and attempt a right-on-red…
and the pedestrians better be
crossing WITH the light !

I HOPE EVERYONE KEEPS THE CITIES
FROM MAKING ANY MONEY FROM THE CAMERAS !
(it’s not tax money, the service-ing company pays for them)

IF IT’S NOT WORTH IT FINANCIALLY…

MAYBE WE CAN GO BACK TO NORMAL !
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__________________________________
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NEW ONE ON ME…

Someone called into a radio show
and said that whenever he moves
to a new area or new city…
He looks to buy (and sample) the LOCAL honey.

HE SAYS IT HELPS WITH HIS ALLERGIES !
(the ones ‘fired-up’ by the new ‘air’)

okay.. so some wacky person calls in…

BUT THEN…

THE HOST SHRUGS IT OFF, AS IF…
SO?  EVERYONE KNOWS THAT !

I DEFINTELY GOTTA GET OUT MORE !
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by the way…

THE REASONING ?
(debunked by experts, but if YOU think it works, hey !)

…the idea being that the honey acts like a vaccine.
Bees that jump from one flower to the next end up covered in pollen spores,
which are then transferred to their honey. Eating that honey
— just a spoonful a day —
can build up immunity through gradual exposure to the local allergens
that can make life so miserable for allergy sufferers.
-
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Many de-bunked things give people great relief !
If YOU think there’s a benefit… go with it !
I had great success with ginkgo biloba for memory…
BUT, I didn’t notice a benefit for nearly 2 years !
I stuck with a daily capsule & I don’t care if it’s illusion or not !

I ‘SEE’ A BIG DIFFERENCE !
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____________________________

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Joe Paterno ?

TIMING is EVERYTHING

IMAGINE THE OUT-POURING OF LOVE & HONORS
AND THE FUNERAL HE’D HAVE GOTTEN
if HIS ’sins’ were revealed a year later !

But he left… ” BRANDED “
(just like Chuck Connors on the old tv show)

Branded!
(singing)

Marked with a coward’s shame.

What do you do when you’re branded,

Will you fight for your name?

shit happens…

REST-in-Peace
anyway

(WHICH IS GENEROUS)

Finding ‘peace’ is more than the victims will be able to do !
Doddering old man?
(10 years ago too?)

HE DID SOMETHING BUT NOT ENOUGH ?
Hell, he socialized with Sandusky even recently,
Sandusky was still a fixture !
(this was nearly a ‘kitty genovese’ scenario)

IF NOT ARRESTED, SANDUSKY SHOULD HAVE
BEEN KEPT FAR, FAR AWAY !
(protect football & the school at all costs)
CLOSE YOUR EYES & IT WILL GO AWAY ?

In the PASS-FAIL SYSTEM…

Paterno as an outstanding coach gets a…

PASS

As a human being ?

FAIL
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_____________________

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CAR  REPAIR…

The go-to-cure for a bad tv in the 50’s
was to punch it, or slap the sides…

I’m glad to report that ‘cure’ is still valid…
I noticed (quickly) that one of my headlights
on the car was ‘out’. (only lasted 20 years)

I got home, shut-off the car, left the lights on…
and PUNCHED the offending headlight !

BACK IN BUSINESS… BEEN FINE EVER SINCE !
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_________________________________

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(minor) CELEBRITY SITING…
(celebrity? well, newsworthy in his day anyway)

Although a ‘good-catch’ by me,
I don’t even get bragging rights,
since almost no one ever heard of him !
(under 35 especially)

I was in an office building lobby in my little town…
I see 2 men enter the building…
one a suit-and-tie guy, the other ?
red-zippered sweatshirt (no hood) & red beret…
It hit me immediately that he was wearing
the ‘old’ uniform of THE GUARDIAN ANGELS
(street patrol guys the cops hated back in the 90’s).
It probably drove-it-home because the guy
had a resemblance to the founder of the ANGELS…

CURTIS  SLIWA

TURNS OUT IT WAS HIM !

As he walked past, I saw the back of his sweatshirt…
it had GUARDIAN ANGELS in 4 inch high letters on it.

I toyed with the idea of going over,
perhaps shaking his hand…
but, at the moment, I thought he might like to be left alone.
(and HE’S not on any list of MINE)

Later, I thought it over & changed my mind…
With his ‘outfit’ advertising his affiliation
(he wasn’t exactly ‘hiding)
he may have wanted some attention.
He may have even got-off on someone recognizing him !
(especially off his home-turf)

We’ve had bigger stars in town,
but I never got to see them…

CHER  & ANN MURRAY stayed at the Hilton
while performing at the NJ ARTS CENTER,
and Paris Hilton worked in a local garage
on one of her tv shows…
(probably  picked the town because of the Hilton Hotel here)
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addendum…

The Robert Hegyes funeral is local.
I heard-it-on-the-grapevine…
(I got connections)
The funeral home, the time & date,
and that John Travolta will be attending.

I was ‘classy’ enough to leave Curtis Sliwa alone,
but I’ll bet you a bunch of idiots will gather
to get a look (or cheer?) Travolta.

CAN YOU SAY ‘INAPPROPRIATE’ ?
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______________________________

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IF YOU HAVE AN ELDERLY PARENT

(or time caught up with YOU)

this is something to consider when buying a new car.

My 86 year old mother (2010 Mazda)
was asking me about car insurance
(we both have policies with Consumer Reports top choice).
Seems she claims to be paying almost double
what her (old) lady friends are claiming to pay.

A PHONE CALL GOT THE ANSWER…

It’s because she bought the MAZDA !

Seems you can pick the ‘wrong’ car for insurance purposes.
So, if you’re not ‘married’ to the choice of vehicle,
the last call you should make BEFORE you sign
a new car contract should be to your insurance company.

ASK THEM HOW THE ‘NEW CAR’ WILL AFFECT
YOUR INSURANCE COST ?

If it’s a small ‘bump’ ?

YOU HAVE CHOSEN WISELY.

If it DOUBLES your premium?

YOU MAY WANT TO FIND OUT WHICH CAR
THEY RECOMMEND FOR LOWER INSURANCE COSTS !

for instance…

there’s certain Hondas, certain years…

the most stolen cars, easiest to steal – key blank opens them…
you can bet-your-bippy cost if reflected on insurance rates !
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__________________________________
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OKAY.. I’M DONE…

TIME FOR SLEEPY-BYE-TIME

I’m totally out of words, energy, & effort
to end this issue in one of the clever ways
that is my trademark…. (huh?)
(too ’spent’ to even add colors to this ‘ender’)

THE   END
-

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<
(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 640 – FIRST SNOW – NJ †

January 21, 2012

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SNOW ARRIVES (for a day) IN NEW JERSEY !

We finally got some snow (a few inches) as of January 21st,
about a month into winter.  It’s been more shirt-sleeve
weather than winter weather until now…
and the snow will be a memory by Monday…
(50 degrees, rain, and pleasant weather the rest of the week)

ON TOP OF THAT…
This (minor) snow event was very ‘OBLIGING’ !
Came the day after nice weather,
happened on a saturday (sleep in),
will be gone by monday…
un-seasonably nice weather returning for the week,
no school closings…
plowing & salting done minimally
(towns saved money)
for the non-commute to work day…

IF YOU HAD TO HAVE SNOW,
THIS IS THE WAY TO HAVE IT !

(I WILL be shoveling & clearing in the morning though)

OH WELL…

IT COULD HAVE BEEN ALOT WORSE
(and probably will be one day soon)
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_________________________________
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R.I.P

Q

Desmond Wilkinson Llewelyn

Famous for playing “Q” in 17 of the James Bond films
made between 1963 & 1999 !
‘Q’ does have a name, “Major Geoffrey Boothroyd”.
He was a coal mining engineer,
spent 5 years as a POW after captured in France by Germans,
was almost a minister !

‘Q’ did not make Desmond Llewelyn rich—
the actor was merely paid ‘by the day’ for his few hours of work on-set,
and did not share in the money made by the films.
Never-the-less, Llewelyn was considered one of the franchise’s
major institutions & he was immensely popular among Bond fans.

OTHER CREDITS…
ChittyChittyBangBang, the Lavender Hill Mob,
brit tv series FOLLYFOOT…
(some other interesting drop-ins too)

Aged 85, Llewelyn was in a fatal car accident on 19 December 1999,
as he was returning home from a book signing event. Driving alone,
he was in a head-on crash with another vehicle.
Extreme measures were taken to try to save him…
doctor on scene, helicoptered to hospital,
he died shortly there-after…
(the other driver was seriously injured too)
ROGER MOORE SPOKE AT HIS FUNERAL
(they had 6 Bond movies together)

______________________________________________

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WASN’T LAST WEEK’S

an EXCEPTIONAL issue ?

GET READY FOR THE
PIECE-of-SHIT
LETDOWN
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I’ll give it a go… as always…

but when I ’shine’, I ’shine’ !
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__________________________

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Even NOT being a football kinda guy,
I had to tune-in for the TIM TEBOW hype !
(broncos-patriots)



and it finally came to pass…

The odds of him coming this far
with the skill & talent he’s shown
is considered impossibly high…

WHY GOD LIKED HIM BETTER,
I DON’T KNOW…

but I thought of this analogy…

LIKE  HUSTLER-SHOWMAN-CHAUVANIST

BOBBY RIGGS…




TEBOW HAD BEEN PLAYING
AGAINST the ‘MARGARET COURTS’



HE FINALLY GOT TO PLAY AGAINST

‘BILLIE JEAN KING’

With expected results !

(both football & tennis)
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____________________________

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FREE SPEECH QUESTIONED

IN STUDENT’S ONLINE POSTS !!!

In Pennsylvania…
One principal shocked to see his photo online,
calling him a ‘hairy sex addict, and a ‘pervert’
who likes ‘hitting on students’ in his office.

North of Pittsburgh…
A MYSPACE profile of a principal
calling him a ‘big fag’, a ‘whore’, & a drug user.

In West Virginia…
a principal found that a girl had created
an online site to maliciously mock another girl
as a ’slut’ with herpes !

ALL WERE SUSPENDED
and
ALL SUED THE PRINCIPAL & SCHOOL DISTRICTS !

And so far… the argument that the first amendment
protects them from punishment for posting
from home computers has held up in higher courts !
(the aclu is involved of course)

THE U.S. SUPREME COURT NOW HAS TO RULE !
(nothing better to do)

Maybe someone should test-the-waters
and say the same things about the president online,
I’m sure the Secret Service would have a laugh over it !

Kid’s stuff ?   I don’t think so…

Minimally, the ‘kids’ are guilty of the crime-du-jour…

BULLYING !!!

They might be bullying an adult, the principal…
but it’s BULLY-ING all the same !
(the Rutgers student was ‘of age’… he was bullied)

IN ADDITION, I THINK THE PARENTS OF THOSE KIDS
HAVE A ‘SCREW LOOSE’ FOR DEFENDING,
AND NOT BEING EMBARASSED BY THE SLURS
ATTRIBUTED TO THEIR LITTLE ‘ANGELS’ !!!

The inmates have taken over the asylum !

(I’ve never been a fan of campus punishment, call the cops)
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_______________________________
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AND SPEAKING OF CAMPUSES…

There were 2 colleges in Virginia
that made the news for NOT shutting down classes
for the Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday.

If some think it’s considered an ‘honor’ to close,
I think Doctor King would think otherwise…
I think he would be MORE ‘honored’ by people
who respect him to spend the day in class,
adding to their knowledge,
instead of at the mall, or celebrating, or even mourning !
IT SEEMS TO BE MORE OF THE WAY KING THOUGHT !

At a local, private liberal arts college
that doesn’t close for Labor Day or Veterans Day either,
a university spokesmand said that
” We believe that cancelling classes is not the only way,
or even necessarily the most meaningful way to demonstrate
‘respect & honor’ for Doctor King. ”
(they also have a busy week of MLK-related events planned)

ONE THING I DID LEARN IN COLLEGE
was to stop thinking like a high school kid…

In my day, individual days off were kept to a minimum.
When I questioned overlooking some (minor?) holidays,
a professor pointed out that the day off cost ME money.
If you break down the tuition you pay vs. individual class hours
(5 or 6 courses, meeting 2,3,4 times a week, for a MAX of 24 classes)
and then divide it into the amount you pay for tuition (plus the rest?),
for them to cancel classes for one day (a MONDAY?)…
actually is cheating you, and costing you hundreds of dollars !

This particular professor ‘made-up’ the class-time
by offering (mandatory,) either a Saturday or night-time,
make-up date for the time missed.

HE DIDN’T WANT TO CHEAT US.
HE NEEDED THE TIME TO COVER THE MATERIAL.
HIS EXPLANATION WAS GIVEN AFTER
THE GROANS FROM THE HIGH-SCHOOL-TYPE THINKERS !

If you know how much you’re paying for an individual class,
you’re more likely to show up for all of them,
instead of blowing-off a class to sleep,
and get your money’s worth !
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____________________________________
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DRY, CRACKED HANDS ?

If you have ‘delicate’ skin like I have…
and the winter months are especially hard on them…
dry, paper-cut-type fingertip ’splits’… etc.

TRY SOAKING YOUR HANDS IN BRINE
TO TOUGHEN THEM UP, YOU PUSSY !

Once when taking a physical for a summer job
in a metal refinery… the doctor touched the palms
of my hands and commented….
” Done alot of hard work in your day, haven’t you?”
(uh… he was begin sarcastic about my ’soft’ hands)

Well.. I’m ready to share some of my winter ‘ablutions’…

First, I switch from any soap in the house
to a ‘creamy’ brand… like OLAY (as in…’oil-of’),
then I pack some hand lotion to use at work,
and my newest thing?
Some nice salesgirl (hey, I’m friendly)
offered some help…
I was told that EUCERIN makes a dry-skin-lotion
for your feet and to use it on your hands…
(it leaves you feeling your hands ‘coated’ even afterwards)
and
then she turned me on to something called

UDDERLY SMOOTH

It looks like a big jar filled with cold-cream !
I take a small scoop, put on way too much,
and sit there with my hand out-stretched
like a surgeon who just washed his hands,
and let it soak in… REAL GOOD !
After I get bored, I wipe off the excess.

AND THEN SHE GAVE ME A CHICK TRICK…
(not THAT kind)

Lay the stuff on heavy at bedtime
and wear white-cotton gloves
to keep from ’slopping-up’ your bedding !

Since I don’t own white-cotton-gloves…
an obvious alternate is SWEAT-SOCKS..
wear them like mittens.
But remember to use laundered socks,
you don’t want to get ATHLETE’S HAND !

and funny that it hit me today…

a sunny, windless, balmy, January day in NJ…
Last year it snowed (ALOT) the day after Xmas,
and the BIG melt didn’t come for 53 days !

ANYWAY…

In that snowy, rotten, snow-shoveling weather…
When you’re out there and the snow
soaks thru your final pair of gloves,
instead of toughing it out with frozen hands…
WHY NOT PUT ON A PAIR OF SWEAT SOCKS,
LIKE A PAIR OF MITTENS ?
For particularly severe weather,
put a plastic bag on first, then the socks…
the way you would do under your shoes.
Much easier to put socks over a bag than gloves !

This may be obvious, and done, by EVERYONE…

but, hey… I’M SLOW !!! Remember?
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_______________________________

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WHAT THE FUCK ?

MORE Frodo ? (free speech)

front-page newspaper article…
news tribune (nj) Thurs. Jan 19, 2012

” WHERE FACEBOOK THREATS MEET FREE SPEECH ”

Seems a 17 year old girl had a Facebook ‘argument’
with a 20 year old male ADULT acquaintance…
(known to her in real life, not anonymous)
He ‘allegedly’ threatened to send someone to

‘ SLIT HER THROAT ! ‘

Her parents rightly called the cops
and had him arrrested !

(terroristic threats? bullying? I guess not)

He’s out on bail.
(and adamant that his rights are being trampled)

AUTHORITIES  CLAIM
IT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO PROSECUTE HIM
BECAUSE OF FIRST AMENDMENT CONCERNS !

huh ?

(let me re-read that)

HUH ?

YOU MEAN I CAN THREATEN SOMEONE
WITH IMPUNITY AS LONG AS I WRITE IT
AND PUT IT ONLINE ?

THAT’S INSANITY…
(and HAS to be incorrect)

TO PROVE IT’S NOT A 1st AMENDMENT   ISSUE,
I suggest doing the same with someone
like the president as the recipient…

I GUARANTEE YOU’LL BE VISITED
BY THE SECRET SERVICE,
HAVE A ‘SECRET’ FILE CREATED,
PROBABLY BE PUT ON A ‘WATCH’ LIST…
AND, YES, BE ARRESTED
(and tried successfully)

FREE  SPEECH  FOR THREATS ?

Who’s in charge of these things, morons ?

Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot…

addendum…

The ‘authorities’ spokesman said…
“we’re just starting the conversation of where we want
to go with such issues and how to handle them…”

UH… MY OPINION ?
Deal with them harshly & tell everyone to behave themselves !
Make believe we have a civilized society…
and have the recipient’s rights carry some weight too !
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_______________________________
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the WISDOM of Ron Bennington…

Texas police shot a 15 year-old 8th grader to death.
The ‘kid’ punched someone in the face,
and then wouldn’t put down his
realistic looking pellet-gun during police warning !

A 15 year old is adult enough

for bullets, but NOT dicks ?

(ron always could reduce a ‘mountain’ to a few words)
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A NO-WIN SITUATION FOR THE COPS…

Had they showed restraint
and someone was shot (or killed),
or the shooter ’suicided’,
IT’S THEIR FAULT !
If the KID lives and goes on to harm another?
IT’S THEIR FAULT !
and
Kids younger than 15 HAVE been tried as adults !
-
SO WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE ?

I’d have to defer to the police officers on-the-scene
who are nearest the business end
of the ‘weapon’ held by a ’shooter’ in a school !
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___________________________________
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but even though against the gun THIS time…

BENNINGTON is a ‘PISTOL’…

(chicks & guns… ahhh)

Talking (exasperated) to his dysfuntional co-host, FEZ
(RON&FEZ xm-sirius satellite radio)…

BACKGROUND…

For years, Fez has been over-whelmed by his
psychological problems… (mostly fear & panic)…
(PLUS HE LIES TO HIS ‘SHRINK’ & FRIENDS)
His contributions to the show are fewer & fewer…
he sits there quietly for most of the show…
(unless having a pity party or crying-on-air)
and this has gone on for years…
Needless to say.. RON is ready to ’snap’ sometimes…
but maintains loyalty to his radio partner.
FEZ will contribute… but usually only when
the talk turns to HIS problems, or gay concerns.
FEZ ‘LOCKS UP’, CRIES, or SITS QUIETLY !
It may have something to do with his repressed sexuality…
(SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS?)
HE HAS A SECRET (that he won’t reveal)
(Psst… HE THINKS HE’S GAY !)
He’s also a virgin to both sex & dating…
to both women & men…
(still waiting for that first ‘magical’ kiss)
HE THINKS HE WANTS TO TAKE THE JUMP,
BUT DOESN’T KNOW HOW !
(and he’s getting older & running out of time… 50-ish)
EXTRA difficult for him since it comes across as him
looking for a partner way over his head !
(youth and looks wise)
One of those people who are terrified of die-ing,
but their lives leave no reason to hang around !
-
-
KEEP READING… KEEP READING…

(that was just the background)

RON ASKS FEZ…

” Do you think you’d be happier as a woman ? “

” CHAZ BONO THIS SHIT ? “

FEZ REPLIES…

” Noooo, I don’t think that’s for me…”

and after a little ball-busting banter,

RON SAYS…

” HOW ABOUT JUST GETTING THE TITS DONE,
TRY ‘EM OUT…
AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT ? “

Maybe you HAD-TO-BE-THERE…

but the dead-pan, serious delivery,

and the CONTINUED ball busting,

was hilarious !
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_____________________________
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As long as I’m on the topic of satellite radio…
MikeyP sent me this link…
with the instruction… READ THE T-SHIRT
(of the guy being arrested)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIyWt16e8oo

So that’s their demographics !!!!

IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE !
-
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AND THEN THERE’S…

EAST  SIDE  DAVE

(from the golden days of RON & FEZ)
((friend of mine, got me mentions, we still email))
-
-
Very funny, talented guy… made for radio

(he’s a ‘ginger’)

He’ll be REALLY BIG one of these days !

Satellite radio too cheap… he was willing to work
for a fraction of what he was worth…
So he left and has small projects, good ones,
that pay the bills (hopefully he ‘hits’ soon).

ANYWAY…

He does a V-BLOG SHOW

(usually wed. nites at 7pm?… shows are archived)
(watch them anytime you care to)

http://www.eastsidedavecountry.com/happytimes
(his short video vignettes are hilarious)

THE DAVEY MAC (McDonald) SPORTS SHOW !
(sat. nites 7-9 pm – xm-sirius satellite radio)
THE ONLY X-RATED SPORTS SHOW IN THE WORLD !

Starring - EAST SIDE DAVE
& an ‘alcoholic’ cast of characters !

I think they do occasionally mention sports,
but the show is all over the place,
very entertaining… I recommend it….
video blog shows run about an hour…
(not PC, expect profanity)
EXPECT HUMOR WITH YOUR SPORTS…
(it fills a niche no one else has)
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________________________________
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AS YOU CAN TELL,
I’M ‘HURTING’ FOR MATERIAL THIS WEEK…
I’m making do,  the best I can !

(I  get  paid  by  the  word)
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__________________________________

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new jersey update…

GAS was down to $2.97
it’s back up to $3.25 (or more) a gallon !

AND A CARTON OF CIGARETTES ?
over $78 !!!

How can a kid become a smoker
at prices like those ?
If there were part-time jobs,
they’d be working almost exclusively for ’smokes’ !

How can a kid afford cigarettes
without being a thief ?

At prices like those….
You REALLY want to be a smoker !
You have a dedication, a calling !

addendum…
Yeah, yeah.. I don’t get it…
I’m a life-long non-smoker !
(well, tobacco anyway… and nothing else for decades)

OH YEAH…

AND IT SNOWED !  FIRST SNOW of the SEASON…
A few inches, cold-blustery day… (Jan.21)
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_______________________________

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Let me see…

(just counting the number of words this week)

YEP… I CAN AFFORD HALF-A-TANK OF GAS !

I don’t know how it happened,
but I (more than) filled an issue of RIP
with plenty more to say…

much more already written !
(good thing it’s generic, and will ‘keep’)

OKAY…

I’VE REACHED THE WORD LIMIT…
(character limit?)

GOOD-Ni…

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<
(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 639 –   MLK, Jr. ISSUE  †

January 14, 2012

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Still shirt-sleeve weather in New Jersey

as of January 12th !!!

(shirt-over-t-shirt plenty for warmest part of day)

Now comes Friday the 13th !

Overcast, a little rainy, much cooler,
even a tiny bit of icy-haily snow…

BUT WHAT DO I CARE ?

I HAVE THE DAY OFF FROM WORK !

Sleep hasn’t come easy lately,
and when it has, I haven’t gotten enough…
but there was no reason to get up early Friday…

UNTIL !!!

Firstly, I have the cats trained to NOT enter
the room in which I hang out, or sleep.
It amazes people how they’ll sit OUTSIDE
my door and just gaze in.
So, it’s about 7:30am… and I hear,
right next to my head… ME-OWWWW !!!
I chase the cat out, but if it were a work-day,
I would have thanked the cat for waking me !

THE CAT WILL NOT EAT UNLESS
I WALK HER OVER TO THE FILLED BOWL !
(she needs to be escorted to the ‘dinner-table’)

So she must have gotten impatient, or very hungry,
waiting for me to get out of bed !
(I have to remember to close that door on days off)
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R.I.P

HARRY  MORGAN

Harry’s was around for a long time…
Good at what he did,  was part of an elite group
of actors who ALWAYS had work,
and appeared everywhere…
(ala Willian Schallert & Betty White)

I first remember him as the ‘comic relief’
on DECEMBER BRIDE…
which led to the spinoff
PETE & GLADYS
then BILL GANNON on DRAGNET
AMOS COOGAN on HEC RAMSEY
and, of course…
SHERMAN T. POTTER on MASH

Well respected, he worked with the BIG ones !
DID TONS OF MOVIES !

Harry is in John Wayne’s ’swan-song’

THE  SHOOTIST
(one of my personal fav’s, low budget, but all ‘Duke’)
Had many ‘old’ cowboy actors saying good-bye to ‘the Duke’.

TRIVIA – the pic of Colonel Potter’s wife, Mildred,
on his desk was really his wife Eileen,
and BILL GANNON’S wife was named Eileen.

Eileen died.. he re-married in 1986.
The marriage lasted until his death.

DIDN’T KNOW HE HAD IT IN HIM ?
(according to wikipedia)

In July 1997, Morgan was charged with abusing his wife
after a beating left her with injuries to her eye, foot, and arm.
Prosecutors dropped the charges after the
82-year-old actor completed a six-month
domestic violence counseling program.

WHO KNEW?

He seemed such a gentle soul !
(looks like it took him 82 years to build-up a head-of-steam)



One more thing Re: MASH

Klinger as a cross-dressing male soldier?
WOULD THAT PASS THE PC TEST IF MADE TODAY ?
The character made-it-out of the dress eventually
and got ‘respect’ as a ‘normal’…
BUT MAN IN A DRESS WAS ALL FOR LAUGHS !
(and got the ‘dress-ee’ share of insults, like a clown)
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BLOWIN’ SMOKE ?

Get Nuremberg ready…

The WORST abuse to a wartime ENEMY
is to piss on their DEAD corpses !

IT’S AMONG THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO IN WAR !

Admittedly it isn’t pretty…

BUT IN THIS CONFLICT ?

Uh… this is getting ‘be-heading-type’ attention !
(and the Taliban DOES follow rules of war)

It should have been handled in-house…
military-type punishment,
and NOT over-the-top for the world stage !
In the scheme of WAR… you know ?… kill or be killed ?
It’s a pimple on the ass of the war !!!

Seems to me it’s only being made the story it is,
to take attention away from somthing else…

LET THE PUBLIC OUT-RAGE OVER THIS,
WE’LL STEER THEM TO SOMETHING
THEY CAN GET BEHIND
INSTEAD OF SOMETHING THAT MATTERS !

IT’S ALL BULL-SHIT !

ADDENDUM…

My theory of warfare isn’t to fight a ‘civilized’ war
(like the British in the Revolutionary War – they lost)
against barbarians !  You let THEM set the level
and you SINK to whatever level (or worse)
they are throwing at you !!!
ADVERTISE IT AS ‘WAR ACTION’
(we fight to win, not be ‘gentlemen’)
That way they can’t cry about YOUR behavior !
(the ill-equipped american revolutionaries didn’t fight
as ‘civilized’ as the British – the americans won)
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Occasionally, I take a quote
from my desktop’s QUOTE OF THE DAY…
Today, I ‘borrowed’ all three !

“It only takes 20 years for a liberal
to become a conservative
without changing a single idea.”
– Robert Anton Wilson

“Under democracy one party always
devotes its chief energies
to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -
and both commonlysucceed, and are right.”
– H. L. Mencken

“Talking much about oneself
can also be a means to conceal oneself.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
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I’d kinda like to think that last one

is something people could say about me !
-Renfield
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_______________________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/
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another sad instance of a kid

committing suicide…

(high school isn’t the world, it’s only a short time)
A family rep is blaming BULLYING !
I can understand it’s effect on an immature mind…
BUT
To claim bullying, to know about it,
and go on tv and blame TEXTING ?

C’mon… take the phone away from the kid,
or get her a basic model, a less-than-smart phone,
that doesn’t allow texting !

She had to literally LOOK FOR & FIND that kind of bullying !
IT WAS AVOID-ABLE !
In-person, in school, or the real world,
where you can’t avoid it is one thing…
LIKE SPAM, ANNOYING TEXTS
CAN BE IGNORED !!!

SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND !!!
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FOR  THE  RECORD…

I DO have a disclaimer at the top of each RIP.
I DO play fast & loose with the ‘truth’
and the ‘telling-of-a-story’…

I claim the JACKSON BROWNE defense…

from THE LATE SHOW

” No one ever talks about their feelings anyway,
without dressing them in dreams & laughter,
I guess it’s just to painful otherwise…”

SO WHEN I TELL A STORY,
LIKE THE ‘WINNERS’ write the ‘HISTORY’…
I CAN embelish here & there
to make the ’story’ a bit more entertaining…
and ME more of a ‘cool dude’
instead of an ‘Al Roker’ (nee DICK) !

I’ve had co-workers confront me with…
” THAT’S NOT THE WAY IT HAPPENED ! “

and they don’t accept it when I say…
” YES, I KNOW “
(they repeat, I repeat)
My final response ?

” WRITE YOUR OWN STORY ! ”
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The above was brought to you by the legal team of

JACOBY & RENFIELD

in case RIP Renfield needs ‘plause-able deniability’ one day !
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______________________________
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VASECTOMY ?

Fine if you think you’re done making babies !

Someone I know was being ‘talked-into’
the procedure by his wife…
He wasn’t thrilled by the idea, but que sera sera…

THE STANDARD ANSWER ?

It takes the pressure (and health aspects) of birth control
away from the woman & gives it to the man.
HEALTH REASONS & FAIRNESS !

But when you analyze OTHER factors…

FOR THE WOMAN ?

It puts a collar on your man !
YOUR kids won’t have any half-sibling strangers
that could cost child-support or estate monies !
(and your husband ‘connected’ to another woman for life)
If he’s a ‘dog’ and you accept that? No surprises !

IF your marriage falls apart…  HE won’t be having
any more kids with his new younger, hotter bride !
The new bride will have to do without !
If there are any complications from the procedure,
they’re on HIM, not HER !   (both are punished)

FOR THE MAN ?

NO ‘rubbers’, WE hate ‘rubbers’ !
(hmmm… is there enough DNA to identify you?)

If the guy is a ‘player’, it kinda ‘green-lights’ him
to go ‘get-um’… why not?
He’s not going to get them pregnant !
BUT IF HE’S NOT A ‘PLAYER’
AND NEEDS A VASECTOMY…
It must means he’s getting ‘PLENTY’ of action at home !
AND if YOU are getting that much
after several years of marriage
and a couple of kids…
I WANT TO SHAKE YOUR (freshly washed) HAND !

It would make more sense to just wait-it-out…
Probably only a few years until you’ll be
scratching-your-head wondering why
you got the damn procedure
since now your sex life is nearly non-existant !

You know.. about the time the woman
starts resenting YOUR wonderful life
while she’s one of the downtrodden !
(must be in ‘gene-memory’)

OH WELL… LIKE I SAID BEFORE…

QUE SERA SERA

OR ELSE PERHAPS YOU’LL START TO SPEND
ALOT OF TIME AT THE ‘SHOOTING RANGE’ !!!

ps – for the record…

MY ‘gun’ is loaded & doesn’t shoot ‘blanks’ !
I waited the few years…
But the ‘games, like ‘dirty’ talk from my wife,
just doesn’t turn me on…
(you asshole, you motherfucker, you son-of-a-bitch, etc)
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AS I’M PULLING UP TO THE CURB
AT THIS LARGE MEDICAL FACILITY,

A workman comes out of the door,
pushing a horizontal-hand-truck,
that’s loaded with (bright) blue zippered bags.

As he passes me, our eyes lock…

AND I PROCEED TO…

LOWER MY HEAD & ‘BLESS’ MYSELF !
(we both had a good laugh)

It looked as if he were removing the ‘failures’
out of the medical building in body bags !

(he was from a paper-shredding service)
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Okay, as you must have realized
from the material I’ve included this week
that I’m reaching down to…

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

Which is also the name of a ‘neighborhood’ bar
(tried to go upscale recently, may have lost liquor license)
in East Rutherford I used to visit when I lived
in Rutherford (proper), the west end.

NO bars in Rutherford, you had to cross the
railroad tracks on the main business district street
to change towns and find a bar.
As I wrote some notes (on scrap paper) for this item…
I remembered that THIS Bottom-of-the-Barrel…
(as opposed to the one in UNION CITY, NJ)
used to be frequently by one former Yankee…

BILLY  MARTIN

(hey, the guy liked a drink once-in-a-while)

Within minutes I’m surfing tv channels…
(one-by-one)
and I stop long enough to hear the name
BILLY MARTIN – dropped twice in OCEAN’S 13
(meaning – give the ‘banker’ a 2nd chance to make it right)

Some coincidence?

I stay with it just long enough so that when I continue to ’surf’
I get to the YES (yankee) CHANNEL
and see the final minute of a YANKEE-OGRAPHY
(who knew they had such things?)
the subject? BILLY MARTIN… again !!!
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GEEZ… my powers were on fire…

and NO, they still don’t translate to the lottery !
BILLY MARTIN must have been in the ‘ether’
and I just picked up on it earlier than the broadcasts.
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ANYWAY…

BACK TO THE BOTTOM-OF-THE-BARREL

of RIP Renfield items…

Big news at CASA de RENFIELD…

WE GOT A NEW TOILET !!!

The old toilet, in the ‘good’ bathroom, was pretty new.
(maybe 15 years since we re-did that bathroom)

NEVER buy a ‘fancy’ name brand,
if you ever need repair or parts, it’s not cheap !
(and you don’t just pick-up parts at Home Depot)

ANYWAY… a few years back, the water kept running
long after you flushed… (it would go all nite or day)
I changed the (odd-ball) guts & fiddled with adjusting
for weeks before it operated properly.

IT DIDN’T LAST !
(even after getting a plumber involved)

I wanted to get a new toilet, or at least have my
fix-it project wife put it on the list…
(she had other fish to fry)
The interim solution (that worked fine for me?)
was to hold the flush handle down for a 5 count.

I never had a problem.

WELL I GUESS IT MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE LIST !
(my wife claimed the 5 count wasn’t working for her)

I come home from work one day
and there is a new toilet being installed !
A less water-using, power-flushing, quick tank-filling…

GERBER
(even has a smaller footprint)

(they call it a super-toilet)

THE ONLY PROBLEM ?

GETTING USED TO A NEW TOILET SEAT !

I should have had him swap the ‘new one’ for the ‘old one’ !

But, DON’T WORRY….

I’ll ADAPT FOR THE SHORT SEATING PERIOD !
(I’m not a reader, I do my ‘business’ and get out)

addendum…

speaking of ‘fancy’ toilets…
I’ll never forget the time (years ago)
that Howard Stern’s wife re-did their bathroom.
This makes sense… but must cost plenty…
(walls have to be opened)
The exhaust fan was located INSIDE,
under the rim of the toilet !
Sucking the smell right from your ass,
out of the exhaust vent, keeping the room ’sweet’ smelling !
I had to have heard this more than 15 years ago…
(gave up on Stern by ‘94… he turned into what he joked about)

I’VE YET TO SEE A TOILET OF THIS TYPE
ANYPLACE IN MY LOW-RENT LIFE !
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speaking of my ‘almost’ friend

SUSAN  LUCKEY

I was ‘lazing-away’ and was thinking how much
I would like to add a stone from HER yard
to my collection of ’special’ stones…

and then a crazy thought hit me…
Wouldn’t it be amazing if one day
I was friends enough with her to
get a lock of her hair !
(a passing thought, never occurred to me before)

I take my daughter on an ‘ice-cream-run’
later that night and out of nowhere…
she says…
” You ever think of asking for
a lock of her hair ? ?

WHOA !!!
A thought Sooz never had before…
one I had an hour earlier…
SHE SAID I MUST HAVE BEEN
THINKING TOO ‘LOUD’ AGAIN !
(I’ve been known to)

addendum…
I’ve never discouraged my kids, from an early age
to believe in forms of ESP.
At least one is a believer.
(especially since it seems to ‘follow’ us)
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I DON’T LIKE MONDAYS



Brenda Ann Spencer (apr3,1962)

is the loon that was convicted for the murders
that ‘inspired’ the song.  For some reason,
I thought her ‘crime’ was perpetrated in England.
Nope… San Diego, California ! (Jan29,1979)
She shot from her home to the school across the street,
killed 2, injured 9, and showed no remorse.

HER EXPLANATION?
“I don’t like Mondays, this livens up the day.”
The song was a number 1 single for 4 weeks in mid-79 !
(horrible crime, great song)



When asked Spencer replied,
“I just did it for the fun of it. I don’t like Mondays.
This livens up the day. I have to go now. I shot a pig [policeman].
I think and I want to shoot more. I’m having too much fun [to surrender].
She also said, “I had no reason for it, and it was just a lot of fun,”
“It was just like shooting ducks in a pond,” and,
“[The children] looked like a herd of cows standing around;
it was really easy pickings.” At the time of the shootings,
Spencer was 16 years old, but tried as an adult !
SHE HINTED & THREATENED FOR MONTHS BEFORE !

She pleaded guilty to 2 counts of murder
and assault with a deadly weapon.
Sentenced to 25 years to life…
The first time she came up for parole, 1993,
she did not succeed.. nor did she succeed
the next 4 times, and is still incarcerated.
The last parole hearing was in 2009,
her next chance at parole will be in 2019 !
Which would make her 57 years old at her next chance,
AND she will have spent over 40 years in prison !

SHE’S BEEN WORKING ON A NEW SONG…

I DON’T LIKE PRISON !
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getting your mind out of THE TOILET ?

NOT QUITE YET !

Everyone may already have one of these,
but since I don’t get out much…

IT’S NEW TO ME !

One feature of the ‘new’ toilet (seat)
I haven’t mentioned yet for all you
‘GERM-O-PHOBICS’ or ‘CLEAN-a-HOLICS’…

THE REMOVE-ABLE (for CLEANING) TOILET SEAT !
No need to ‘fight’ to clean all the cracks & crevices !

Instead of the standard 2 plastic bolts
holding the toilet seat in place…
The ‘bolts’ are replaced with others,
more of a JAMES BOND-IAN DEVICE !
(from… from Russia with Love)

For the ‘owner’, rotate the ‘locks’ 90 degrees.
Otherwise, the gas canister goes off…

For the toilet seat…

Rotate the top of the ‘bolts’ 90 degrees,
it disconnects the ‘locking’ mechanism,
and allows the  toilet seat to be lifted off
for easy cleaning of hard-to-get-to spots !

HEY… IT MIGHT EVEN FIT INTO YOUR
DISHWASHER FOR A REALLY GOOD CLEAN !
(yuck)
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I almost got to see a grown-man cry…

ME !!!

I ‘assemble’ RIP Renfield with AOL 8.0 using WindowsXP…
(don’t ask)

While assembling… I change things, add things,
format with colors and pics…
and it magically turns into the final product !

THEN I EMAIL IT TO MYSELF
AND SAVE IT (many times & places)
I BELIEVE IN BACK-UPS !

Just before getting to this (closing) item…
I GOT BOOTED OFF-LINE !
Luckily, I was given the option of saving my work…
Yeah… Luckey !
I get back online & try to open the file ?
EFFIN’ TOO BIG, WON’T OPEN !

Before the tears…

I had the ‘brain-storm’ to try and open the file
from www.AOL.com and luckily it opened…
I was able to cut-and-paste it back to AOL 8
sans pics.. and had to cut-and-paste ALL of them
back to their locations in the issue !

MUCH EASIER THAN RE-CREATING
(it would never be the same twice)

So feeling lucky… I’m gone !
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____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 638 – Cold, Cold STAY Away †

January 7, 2012

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I’M THINKING I’VE

TURNED-A-CORNER !

Things might be looking up !

There’s been some ‘excitement’ at work…

TWICE NOW !

and, for the first time maybe ever…

I’M NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT !!!

It does not involve me at all !
(somehow I usually end up being the focal point)

YA KNOW WHAT ?

It’s kinda fun when someone else
has their ‘feet-to-the-fire’ !

I give full-credit for MY mood elevation,
& MY world-altering view to…

SUSAN (suzie) LUCKEY

I’ve been ‘a-glow’ ever since receiving her letter,
and autograph, back on December 27th…
THE WORLD IS A WONDERFUL PLACE THESE DAYS !
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Hey… let’s see if ‘I-STILL-GOT-IT’ & do some RIP now…
(I hope my muse, being miserable, isn’t necessary)
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R.I.P

Bowling great Don Carter

Don Carter was the bowling great with the unorthodox style who flourished
as a genuine sports celebrity during the game’s golden age on TV.
He had a style all his own as he took his steps to the line.
Stooped shoulders & cocked elbow, and a deep knee bend ball release.

Carter, known as “Mr. Bowling,” was the game’s original superstar.
Carter was a charter member of the PBA Hall of Fame,
and his sport’s most recognizable name.

He ruled the lanes with the likes of Dick Weber, Ray Bluth, Pat Patterson,
Carmen Salvino and Billy Welu. But Carter was clearly at another level.
He wasn’t as ‘lauded’ as Mickey Mantle, Johnny Unitas
or Arnold Palmer, but it was close.

He became the first athlete in American sports history to sign a $1 million
endorsement contract.  It was with a bowling ball manufacturer.

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Governor Christie of New Jersey
should think of the repercussions
from some of his ‘blustery’ thoughts…

(by the way, why is he out west ’stumping’ for presidential candidates
for weeks at-a-time, instead of here, running New Jersey ?)

Re: his posturing for voters,

calling pay-outs for un-used ‘leave’ not right ?
Something should be done about it,
but wasn’t offering or mandating, a solution…

HE JUST GOT WORKERS ANT-SY !

Because of conerns about losing SAVED time pay-outs,
one-third of the Elmwood Park Police Department
put in their papers for their retirements !
Workers who may have been content to stay,
leave at random times, keep their experience
on-the-street and share it with younger officers…
GOT OUT WHILE THE GETTING WAS GOOD !
(before the benefit could be taken away)

OH… THE LEAVE WILL COST THE CITY $1.2 MILLION !
(all at once, not one retirement here, one there…)

In addition, the overtime will be quite costly to the city
while they maintain police coverage,
and spend more in the search to replenish their ‘force’
with inexperienced rookie cops !

WILL MORE PUBLIC WORKERS FOLLOW SUIT ?
THIS COULD JUST BE THE BEGINNING !

THANK YOU GOVERNOR CHRISTIE !

You should have ‘fixed-it’ quietly
instead of grand-standing for the tv cameras !

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ANOTHER report of  TV weatherman

AL  ROKER being a ‘dick’ !

This jerk is writing checks his ‘minor’ celebrity
just can’t cash !!!  He has a very high opinion of himself.

We’d probably not hear about this if done
to a regular person, but…
the drummer from Van Halen was travelling
with his wife and had the mis-fortune of having
Roker in the middle seat between husband & wife.
I can’t think of ANY scenario where the middle seat
is preferable to a window or aisle seat !

HE WAS BEING A DICK ! (again)

The couple WAS able to trade seats with more
reasonable people, but I hope not TOO reasonable.

I’m hoping ROKER had a horrible, long flight !
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Jeff Spiccoli gave Roker HIS opinion
as he passed Roker by…

” YOU DICK ! “

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7zfnbdyAW8

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STUPIDITY IS NOT RESERVED JUST FOR NJ…

A tv news report (nothing better to report?)…
showed film of NY bus drivers playing cards
and board games on-the-clock !

It seems the city drastically cuts bus & train service
during the ‘tweener’ holiday week regularly…
So the drivers show up & get paid for being there.

THE CITY JUST DIDN’T PROVIDE WORK FOR THEM !

It would be the perfect time for necessary paperwork,
or training, or charm school, whatever…
to make it look like the workers are ’slough-ing-off’
is not fair to the workers !
Seems NYC was content to pay them to do nothing !
THEY WERE WILLING, THE CITY DROPPED THE BALL !
(just run the damn bus-es if it’s an issue)
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addendum…
the union said the city screwed-up…
it could have been handled better…
there’s speculation that it was done purposely
during contract negotiations as a negative PR move
against the union by USING ‘certain’ news outlets !
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and speaking of FAIR or NOT FAIR ?
Have you ever noticed how
it’s only FAIR in ONE direction ?
(when it’s against you)

I was recently the victim of FAIR…

Funny how FAIR was NEVER a consideration before,
NEVER in their vocabulary for decades,
until it was used at my expense !

They bent-me-over-and-gave-me-FAIR !
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okay…

My SUSAN LUCKEY story of the week…

for the set-up…
When I found SL’s address,
I also found her phone number…
(too creepy to ever use)
but my kid knows I have it…

At which point my daughter’s jaw has dropped,
and as I hold the phone out to her…
she’s backing away and is saying (shocked)…
” NO… NO… NO-oooo”

I FINALLY LAUGHED & SAID…

” KNOWING ME, YOU JUST COULDN’T BE SURE, COULD YOU? ”

I’m not sure if she was in awe of who it might be,
or what a creep I was for bothering a ’stranger’ !

Sure would be nice if I could, one day
in the far-off future, make that call, & chit-chat…
(yeah, like that’s gonna happen without the FBI involved)
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Geez… damn postage !

I bought a gift item from a great place…
www.NOVICA.com – artsy & reasonable !

It was a late xmas gift for a friend in Brazil.

I know it should have been something typically NY-USA,
but came up blank…  After the purchase,
I found out the item was being shipped from Peru !
So it would be sent from Peru to New Jersey, USA
and from me, back to South America, to Brazil !

The company had a special on shipping…
1/2 off, so the 2 1/2 pound package cost me $3,
friggin’ great.. just about FREE shipping !

Now, I go to mail it…
I figure it’ll be around $15-20

I WISH !!!

It was nearly $25, almost the cost of the item !
I should have inquired about shipping it direct,
or just ‘drop’ $50 on her… it would be cheaper !

BUT THE JADE OBELISK WAS JUST TOO COOL !

Not meant to be ‘phallic’… it stands for ‘prosperity’…
and it’s enormous… so either way… it’s PUL-LENTY !
(her girlfriends will probably get a giggle from speculation)
(no romance, but I hope she ‘goes-with-it’ & gets some ‘props’)

MAYBE SHE CAN RE-CREATE THE SCENE FROM GODFATHER…
WHERE SONNY’S WIFE USES THE SPREAD OF HER HANDS
TO DESCRIBE THE SIZE OF SONNY’S EQUIPMENT !!!
(to the delight of the girls)
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Although, at one time, scandalous & libel-ous…

IS BEING ACCUSED OF BEING GAY
ACTION-ABLE ?
LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT ?

If it is, someone is playing BOTH sides…

wrong & right !

Some TWILIGHT actor who some think gay
was the victim(?) of a Twitter ‘prank’ !
Someone created a believe-able
PEOPLE MAGAZINE cover out-ing him !!!

The woman newscaster reporting this
brought up the idea of sue-ing for libel !
(it’s probably sue-able, but NOT for libel)

AREN’T WE SUPPOSED TO BE PAST
GAY-NESS AS SOMETHING BAD or WRONG ?
(would YOU dis-own your kid? or just love him anyway)

Me?  I don’t give a rat’s ass…

I got enough trouble getting thru the day as a hetero-sexual !

SOMEBODY SHOULD GIVE THAT NEWSCASTER
A TALKING TO… WORDS DON’T ALWAYS EQUAL COURT !

And the actor involved ?  His response should be a shrug !
(his publicity people may have even planted it)
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I’m getting a bit more antsy about MY illness…

It seems that whenever I get something half-way serious,
it’s the ‘illness-du-joir’ and all over the place…
(I’m told I just have more awareness… BUT…)

First there was that Football Giant’s guy
who’s season was ended by the DVT-PE.

Last week HEAVY D died of MY illness.

Today, some hip-hop artist(?) DIED
as as result of the same DVT-PE !

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ?

I swear I’ve NEVER heard those initials
on the news (re:death) in my life !!!

HAVE  YOU ???

WILL THERE BE MORE DEATHS SOON ?

(hopefully not mine)
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FEELING NOSTALGIC ?

I perused some of my earliest efforts
(from 12-13 years ago)
when developing RIP Renfield into what it is today !

And I felt a kin-ship to WALT DISNEY !

My crude, early attemps at presentation
were like Walt’s pre-STEAMBOAT WILLIE
Mickey Mouse incarnation !

My early ‘product’ was by email subscription,
not posted on the internet for ALL time !
Walt’s  ‘pimples’ are there for all to see !

FOREVER !!!
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the New Year’s TWILIGHT ZONE marathon
reminded me of…

The time, when my daughter was very young,
that we got her a TALKING TINA doll…
She loved the damn thing…
but we had to get rid of it
when it started wanting to kill me !

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I’D LIKE TO PRAISE MY WIFE

FOR HER RESTRAINT !!!

(my head would have been exploding)

Several days after Christmas,
one where she treated me exceptionally well
for the ’small’ xmas we planned,
I found, under the tree, one of her gifts…
2 small boxes filled with a dozen CADBURY candy bars.
(she says for what it costs, she enjoys them more than Godiva)
I called to her that she left her candy under the tree.
(un-opened)
She didn’t know what I was talking about…
The boxes I re-used were for strings of xmas lights,
and for a reason I can’t explain,
she thought I had gotten her Xmas Lights as a gift !

I’m sorry she didn’t mention it when she un-wrapped,
and didn’t look inside, but after a gift like THAT ?
I was STILL treated to a very nice Christmas !!!

WHATTA-WOMAN !!!
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I’m pushing my cart thru the supermarket,

stopped in the veggie section…

and right behind me I hear a woman
doing ‘baby-talk’ coo-ing…

” Yes, I got carrots, you love carrots, don’t you?
‘nummy’, ‘nummy’, ‘nummy’…”

I turn to her and say conspiratorily…

” C’mon… not in the store…”

Then looking awkwardly in her cart,
see-ing the baby, and saying…

” Sorry, thought you were talking to me ! ”

IF THEY LAUGH INSTEAD OF SLAPPING YOU…

You still got it !!!
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http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

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SOMEBODY HAD A GOOD LAUGH…

I was in the car with my kid.
I had the mp3 player hooked into the car ’system’
and was showing off a new playlist…
A song came on that moves me deeply…
(this particular version)
I’m not a fan of hers, & him?
first album yes, a few hits… don’t love him…
but the one song was always a favorite…

THUNDER  ROAD

from an accoustic ‘UN-PLUGGED’ with
Melissa Etheridge duet-ing with Bruce Springsteen…

I had it on the nite before, full blast,

staying in the car to sing along…

really into it… nearly tear-ing up !

Like I did years ago the first time I heard it,

Bee-yoo-ti-ful !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQpyxh3xpv8

SEE WHAT I MEAN ?

and I mention to her how much the song,
and that version affected, & moved, me…
much in the same way as
GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
when it catches me just right !
(snoopy christmas song too)

Many minutes later, I thought her continuous laughing
was for my singing or my ‘butchering’ of the lyrics…

I ask, and I hear (between laughs)…
“GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER !  HA HA HA ”
(Hey… I’m sentimental)

AND I WASN’T TRYING TO BE FUNNY !

Sometimes a song just ‘reaches’ you !
The imagery from THUNDER ROAD blows me away.
and ” as for me and grandpa, we believe…”

addendum…

Later that nite, I ’schooled’ my daughter musically,
by ’skipping’ thru the hard drive for ‘gems’ new to her…
(we had a good time)
She also ‘raided’ the playlist she heard earlier for HER mp3 player !
Just like her old man, she isn’t limited to ONE era…
She requested … Nat King Cole’s – SMILE
(THAT song goes back to Charlie Chaplin – instrumental)
(she took the TONY BENNETT version too)

She not only knows, but appreciates…
It’ll take a long time before most kids fill the playlist
(today & historical) on the ‘hard-drive’ in their heads.
I have a feeling that even alot of old-sters don’t realize
how far back some of their ‘rock’ & ‘pop’ songs go.
Covering & updating hits from the 20’s, 30’s, & 40’s
isn’t all that un-common in the music business.

IE -  Hey, so you love ELVIS ! (or the Beatles, or Rolling Stones)
Doesn’t mean that’s all there is !

WHY PIGEON-HOLE YOURSELF ?

It very much surprised me when during an old 1930’s movie
someone started singing… I’LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
(in the ‘o-vodeo-do’, mega-phone style)
I’m partial to the ukelele version JOE BROWN did
at the GEORGE HARRISON TRIBUTE…

Talk about ‘warm & fuzzy’…

check out the hugs between the surviving
Beatle ‘family’ members at the end of the video…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-U-qdPB8t0

BACK TO THE OLD MOVIE VERSION…
The movie version took me by surprise !
I didn’t think the song new, but wasn’t thinking the 1920’s !!!

SEE ?

One of the most beloved and popular songs of its day,
“I’ll See You in My Dreams” was written by Isham Jones,
with lyrics by Gus Kahn. The song was published in 1924.
Originally recorded by Isham Jones and The Ray Miller Orchestra,
it was charted for 16 weeks during 1925, seven weeks at number 1.
Popular recordings of it were made by many leading artists including
Marion Harris (1924), Louis Armstrong, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Ella Fitzgerald,
Mario Lanza, Tony Martin, Anita O’Day, Ezio Pinza, Sue Raney,
Jerry Lee Lewis (1958, instrumental) and Andy Williams.
A “Texas Swing” version was recorded by Bob Wills & his Texas Playboys.

LASTLY ?

My kid conceded that the SNOOPY (red baron) CHRISTMAS song
was as sentimental & as warm & ‘drippy’ as I said it was !
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Well… that’s all I got this issue…

Looks like I can ‘maintain’
even when I’m ‘walking-on-air’ !

Capt. Kirk wouldn’t let Spock’s brother
(HALF-BROTHER)
take away his pain, like he did for McCoy & others…

AND LIKE KIRK (and me)…

DON’T TAKE AWAY MY ‘PAIN’
I NEED MY ‘PAIN’
MY ‘PAIN’ IS WHO I AM !!!

I guess I better start being someone else…
my ‘pain’ has been lifted…

FOR HOW LONG ? I DON’T KNOW…

and with the weather co-operating…

(Jan.7  2012 ? – shirt sleeve weather)

I MIGHT JUST GO OUTSIDE

(shudder)

AND SMELL THE ROSES !!

(my god, I’ve lost my mind !)
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

+++++++++++++++++++++

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 637 – HOLIDAY AFTER-MATH †

January 2, 2012

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SPEAKING of HOLIDAY AFTERMATH !!!