† RIP Renfield #760 – † BLOOMIN’ ROSES †

003 - bloomin'roses-riptop————————————————————————————————————————————————————
***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY, AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***
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(except for the stuff I make up, lie about, or receive mis-information about)

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ISSUE # 760——————–—-June-07-2015

† RIP Renfield †


† the ROSES are in Bloom †
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NEW  ISSUE  EACH  WEEK !!!

PAST ISSUES ARCHIVED at…
www.RipRenfield.com
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Don’t be a stranger…

I can be contacted at
RIPRenfield@aol.com
or better yet
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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ROSES ?

005 - single rose

I’m a ‘hit’ with all the females I deal with…
(from rehab to the chinese take-out place)

My roses are blooming beautifully,
front and back yards…
I cut some for the house
and playfully started handing out roses to the girls…
(the perfect state is lost to the weather if you wait)

THEY LOVE IT !!!

You don’t come across as half-the-jerk you are
if you’re ‘delivering’ a single rose.

(something new for my bag-of-tricks)
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Relations with Cuba ?


THERE ARE ADVANTAGES…

Detail number one should be…


…the extradition of that fugitive, convicted murderer…

 

 

JOANNE CHESIMARD

(named a Most Wanted Terrorist by the FBI—the first woman ever to make the list)

006 - chesimard fbi poster

The widow and orphans she left behind
might finally get some justice.
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007 - no textual relations
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I refuse to ‘educate’ myself concerning
what passes for news about JENNER…

WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS ?

(if this is the big story, the world must be doing fine)

ME ?

 

 

I have more important things to do…
“I am having an awfully busy day
converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.
Please don’t call me.”

Saw this and thought is was ‘him’…

 

 

MY ONE (borrowed) COMMENT ?

A woman tweeted that…

I HAVE TO GET MY ASS TO THE GYM.

I KNOW THERE ARE PLENTY OF WOMEN

THAT LOOK BETTER THAN ME,

BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS !
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No diet pepsi and coke zero wasn’t on sale,

so I took a chance with pepsi max

(zero calories, maximum taste supposedly).

TASTES LIKE SHIT ,

I’ve had 69cent, 2 liter bottles of diet

that were more palatable.

Homer Simpson would definitely

take ‘crab juice’ instead.


STAY AWAY
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My lock pick set got lost

(might have been stolen),

bought another on tmart.com for $5,

a beginner set (its all you need)…

free shipping  but takes a month to get here.



After all the lock picking on tv and in movies,
It’s a fun thing to be able to do.
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I couldn’t get my chair ‘just right’

in front of my laptop.

I kept adjusting a little more & more, to the right.

I finally gave up,

and just slid the computer over instead.

PROBLEM SOLVED !
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008 - domestic violence

when a sports team waives (fires) a player for
‘wife beating’ or any crime, i think they should be rewarded
(encouraged to do the right thing).
i was thinking an extra draft pick to make up for
the loss of a player, and the position of the ‘pick’
be based on the skill-set of the player they dump.
room for abuse of course, but the decision could be
put up to an outside committee
to determine if a draft pick is called for.
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Did you hear about the guy who’s addicted to brake fluid?
He says he can stop any time.

(jackie martling)


Why is the camel called the ship of the desert ?
Because it is filled with Arab seamen.
I apologize to camels

(gilbert gottfried)
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I  bought a historically significant manual turntable in the early 70s.

ACCOUSTIC RESEARCH  (AR-XA1)

009 -ar turntable

 

It’s out, but not really in use lately.
Still works great, has an AUDIO-TECHNICA cartridge/stylus,
a personally installed damped cue lever (‘arm-lifter’), orig.dust cover,
a disk-brush that precedes the stylus, the 45rmp adapter,
all the little doo-dads accessories that came with it, and extra belts.

 

 

After looking it up on EBAY,
I had to tell my kids not to throw it out when I die, it’s worth money !
One that wasn’t as nice as mine sold for $178 (I paid $50 new).
The better ones, like mine, were listed for up to nearly $700 !

They better go thru my ‘junk’ well, might be more ‘gems’.
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with my son visiting from the ‘coast’,
I finally got around to hooking the cable box to my
‘power-house’ stereo system (80 watts per channel) for audio.
The house really ‘rumbled’ during Godzilla,
rock and roll hall of fame on hbo was glorious…

one thing…

my daughter said she could hear and feel it
from the driveway (windows and doors closed),
so I had to turn it down a bit.. okay, more than a bit.

The bass rumbling knocked a framed (glass covered)
proclamation from the state of nj (for my daughter)
off the wall,shattering the glass !  I had intended to
replace the glass, but have a feeling it might fall again…
it’s out of the way, so I’m thinking the ‘famous’ signatures
and state seals won’t suffer.
(the fall and glass shattering scared the shit out of me)

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btw.. godzilla was a pretty decent remake,
i didn’t expect much, but i was ‘into it’ & watched the whole thing.

I went thru on-demand for horror movies too..
pretty much garbage there but found a couple decent ones..
1,2,3 scream and the occupant
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LYING, BRIBERY, EXTORTION

ALL the reasons for ‘replacing’
the head of FIFA for the corruption scandal.

Seems to me that the person to replace him,
with the ‘correct’ credentials is…

 

 

HILLARY CLINTON

010 - hillary dismissive

She could fit in seamlessly.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing well.
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011 - patriotic eagle flag

The biggest sign-of-respect

I can bestow on America for a patriotic holiday

is not taking my shirt off.
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LOOKS LIKE I’M UP TO MY OLD NONSENSE…

I’LL HAVE TO CHALK-IT-UP TO

MY STYLE, OR LACK OF IT.

I’ve streamlined a bit,

but it’s only to make my life easier.

AND

I’ll let you know if ‘planting’

those roses gets me somewhere.

012 - girl with rose



okay… bye
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013 - rip bottom 3 reaper

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome, but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you might be wasting your time…

TO SUBSCRIBE OR TO BE REMOVED FROM THE MAILING LIST
AOL–CLICK HERE OR MAIL REQUEST TO RipRENFIELD@AOL.COM

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

 

 

TISH  (PILLBUG)
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other renfield links…
Northern Exposure: “The Eagle Has Landed” (an alternate ending)
over 100.000 combined NX hits…
RetroWeb Classic Television: Northern Exposure
read both NX stories…the alternate final episode and a christmas episode.

 

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