† RIP Renfield #706 – † SUM-SUM-SUMMERTIME !!! †

† RIP Renfield #706 – † SUM-SUM-SUMMERTIME !!! †

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***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY, AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***
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(except for the stuff I make up, lie about, or receive mis-information about)

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ISSUE # 706———-———June-22-2013

† RIP Renfield †

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SUM-SUM-SUMMERTIME !!!


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NEW  ISSUE  EACH  WEEK !!!

PAST ISSUES ARCHIVED at…
www.RipRenfield.com
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Don’t be a stranger…

I can be contacted at
RIPRenfield@aol.com
or better yet
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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WEEK STARTED OFF GOOD…

now I’m in one of my moods !

(it should pass soon)

FOR ANYONE WAITING
FOR THE FATHERS DAY STATS…

(to be fair, I waited a week)

Got calls from…

my mother
my wife
2 of 4 kids
1 kid was here
(that makes 3 of 4)
no cards
no gifts
2 email ‘happies’ from friends
no visitors
(spent the day alone)

NO PROBLEM ON MY END,
I’m not playing the ‘PITY’ card.

(says more about others than it does about me)

THEY SURE WEREN’T RAISED THAT WAY
I made sure they did the right thing for others.

But hard to build up a head-of-steam these days,
the
‘philosophical-renfield’ came with age.

I’M ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ME

ON WITH  THE SHOW

(it must go on)
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R.I.P


Wm. ‘Bill’ Asher

004 - RIP DEAD - WM ASHER

The director and producer behind the television classics
“I Love Lucy” and “Bewitched”.

Asher was best known for his work on “I Love Lucy,”
where he directed Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz for 100
of the show’s 181 episodes between 1952 and 1957.

He also produced & directed “The Patty Duke Show” & “Bewitched,”
which starred his then-wife Elizabeth Montgomery.
Montgomery and Asher had three children together.

Asher brought Sally Field to TV screens in “Gidget,”
and took the same sensibility to movies as director of teen romps
” Beach Blanket Bingo” and “Beach Party. ”

WOW… HE WAS WITH LIZ AT HER SEXIEST…
NOT A BAD LIFE AT ALL !

005 - rip liz montgmry-wm asher

BOTH OF YOU


REST – IN – PEACE

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Silly me…

I’d assume that
EVERY ‘intelligence’ agency
in the world already knows about
NSA surveillance capabilities.

Only the people of the world were to be kept in the dark.
Especially people of the USA, and why ?

BECAUSE WE CAN VOTE THE BASTARDS OUT !!!
Otherwise they’d be bragging about the capability !

BUT THE ‘LEAKER’ NOT ONLY ‘LEAKED’,
he very prophetically predicted
all the minutia in his life
that could be twisted to make him
MORE evil and traitorous !

(me? I think he did us a service)

CONSPIRACIES…

Do you really think the ‘powers’
could keep the thousands of ‘ghosts’
quiet about the JFK assassination
or the 911 hijack-bombings ?
SOMEBODY would get a conscience.
(talk on their deathbed, why not ?)

AND AS FAR AS THAT FLIGHT 800 MISSILE ?
The inspectors waited to talk until they retired,
worried about consequences if they talked sooner.

ADDENDUM…

If the NSA is monitoring this,
I was just kidding…
It’s only for reaction value.

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JIMMY  CARTER


I CAN’T HEAR YOU !


006 - worst pres carter cartoon

Quick to do the ‘right’ thing
and break with presidential tradition.

(not commenting publicly about other presidents)
MISTER Carter gave us an earful
about the shortcomings of George Bush.

There’s a scandal, or 2, now that could use his ‘insight’.

WHERE’S YOUR BIG MOUTH NOW ?

addendum…
I voted for Carter.
Even I know he was our WORST president
having lived thru those horrible years.

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007 - putin - sneaky

RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLAD PUTIN

‘STOLE’ A 2005 SUPERBOWL RING

WORTH $25,000 ?

008 - pats superbwl ring

To be fair,
he probably ‘anna nicoled’ it.
Asked to see and examine it,
security guards edge in to separate
‘ringer’ and ‘ringee’
and just leave with it !

(maybe that’s what Lindsay Lohan attempted)

To avoid an embarrassing protocol situation,
it was turned into a ‘gift’.

(I wonder if the state dept. re-imbursed the 25 G’S)
At worst, Putin only has to claim it a mis-understanding.

BUT

IF HE DOES RETURN THE RING,
I’D TURN THAT ‘SUCKER’ OVER TO THE BEST CSI’s
I COULD FIND, TO MAKE SURE
THE RING IS ‘CLEAN’ !

NO  RICIN

NO  ANTHRAX

NO OTHER FUNKY POISONS

RADIATION

ETC.

No telling what reaction a guy with
KGB methods in HIS playbook
might stoop to !!!

009 - putin - kgb uniform
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TRANSPARENCY ?

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney
has dodged reporter questions
9,486 times in the 444 briefings
he has given since taking the job in early 2011.
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NJ GOV. CHRISTIE

CRITICIZED FOR NOT ROOTING FOR
THE ‘
NEW JERSEY HOME’ TEAM ?

010 - dallas cowboy logo

WHAT  HOME  TEAM ?

GIANTS ARE NEW YORK GIANTS….
JETS ARE NEW YORK JETS….
AND PHILADELPHIA, PA IS EAGLES…

HOW IS HIS CHOICE DISLOYAL TO TEAMS
WHO DON’T WANT TO BE ‘NEW JERSEY ‘TEAMS….
just take advantage of the state’s location ?


I’M SURE HE’D SUPPORT THE NJ GIANTS
OR THE NJ JETS OR THE NJ EAGLES !!!


ADDENDUM…

CHRISTIE IS JUST FINE WITH
ROOTING FOR THE
NEW JERSEY DEVILS

011 - nj devils champ banners
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THE  BIG  CHANGE ?

The one my mother was close to tears for
many times in the last 4 years ?

My mother was so upset when I stopped
cutting and coloring my hair,
she was ‘throwing’ money at me to get it done !

I, under NO pressure, decided it was time.
Just went out one day and now look like my
driver’s license picture again.

No announcement, just went.

People found out when (and if) they visited.
My brother commented on how happy
it was going to make my mother.
Not sure if it’s her eye trouble
(eyeball injections once a month),
but she stayed for an hour
and
never mentioned my hair
and showed
no sign of notice-ing !

IT IS A TREMENDOUS DIFFERENCE

Kept scaring my daughter.
She’d walk in a room, see me from behind,
and had to keep reminding herself it was me !
THE OLD MAN IS GONE !
(I get a range of 7-10 years younger looking)

NOT THAT IT HELPS ME IN ANY WAY !
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012 - ad  - forgotten hits

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/
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Serena Williams apologises

for Steubenville rape quotes.

Williams was quoted as saying:

“I’m not blaming the girl, but if you’re a 16-year-old
and you’re drunk like that, your parents should teach you -
don’t take drinks from other people.

“She’s 16, why was she that drunk
where she doesn’t remember?
It could have been much worse. She’s lucky.”
The girl “shouldn’t have put herself in that position,
unless they slipped her something, then that’s different”.

WHY THE APOLOGY ?

What did she say that was that wrong ?
The victim was a law-breaker too !
She wasn’t dragged out of bible class !
(better parenting might have helped)

IT’S BEEN MY EXPERIENCE
THAT IF YOU GO LOOKING FOR TROUBLE,
YOU CAN USUALLY FIND IT !


addendum…

I should be able to walk thru a ‘druggie’
neighborhood at 2am with hundred dollar
bills hanging out of my pockets…

BUT THAT’S NOT THE REAL WORLD.
I would be stupid to be that careless !
(and I’d be obeying the law)
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WASTE OF MONEY

(ESPECIALLY DURING A ‘SEQUESTER FOR GOV’T AGENCIES)

Another dead end in hunt for
Jimmy Hoffa
as FBI ends excavation of Michigan field -
and the federal government has spent
more than
$3MILLION looking for union leader !

Really ? $3 million ?
After all these years is it really that
important to recover a dead body ?


Easier to offer a $1 million reward for someone else
to come up with the body.

SOME ‘WEASEL’ OUT THERE
MIGHT JUST BE GREEDY ENOUGH !

or let Geraldo film & pay for the searches

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and as far as IRS bonuses go…

SHAME ON THEM !


Rank & file gov’t workers aren’t recipients,
bonuses go
ONLY to management.
(those guys that usually cause all the trouble)

I remember, way back when, when bonuses
depended on the companies successes & excesses,
now it’s part of ‘hidden’ salary and expected regardless.

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IT’S COME TO THIS ?

013 - muppets in jail

‘Sesame Street’ creates first Muppet

with a dad in jail to teach kids

how to cope when Mommy or Daddy

goes to prison !!! (like all families)

FIRST…
Why can’t their whore of a mother be going
to the ’slammer’ instead of old dad ?

SECOND ?
WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED
THAT THERE IS A NEED FOR THIS
AND IS TO BE INCLUDED ‘CHILD’ EDUCATION
FOR KIDS WHOSE PARENTS ARE LAW-ABIDING !!!

(how about family jail cells?)
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I’M NOT SURE

if it was a news filler

or plug for a new tv show…

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?

But some idiot psychologist-type woman
is handing out dangerous life-lessons !!!

for example…

CROWDED DINER-TYPE RESTAURANT,
AFTERNOON, A TOUGH LOOKING A-HOLE
OF A GUY IS BEING VERBALLY ABUSIVE
TO HIS FEMALE DINING PARTNER.

Surrounding diners ‘butted-out’
and were later criticized for their in-action !

Among the CORRECT reasons were -
HE COULD BEAT HER HARDER LATER.
and
HE COULD PICK UP A KNIFE FROM
THE TABLE AND STAB YOU.
or
YOU COULD END UP ON THE LOSING END
OF A FISTFIGHT WITH THE GIRL JOINING IN.

The ONLY reasonable course of action
would be to discreetly, anonymously call the cops,
if the situation was that bad.

BUT

The IDIOT said that she would intervene !
(and criticized those that didn’t)
Go right up to him sternly and with a
stern-voice tell him to ‘STOP !’
so he would know ’she meant business’ !
(as he stuck a fork in her eye)

WHOA !

A person like that should invest in a
good dental insurance program,
I hear they can implant teeth back
after she picks them up off the floor !

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NOW LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT

(new reality show)

PUSH  GIRLS


014 - push girls

Everything you hate about vapid women
but in
wheelchairs !!!

(and they make the ’seated’ life so much fun)

015 - push girl - fun wheelie

((’walking’ women will be so jealous))

TV sure is getting crowded

at the bottom of the barrel !



TIME TO LOWER THE BOTTOM AGAIN ?

016 - 2 headed girl

Can 2-headed ‘push girls’ be far behind ?
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Revealed: Shocking list of popular foods and drinks
readily available in U.S. grocery stores
that are
BANNED in other countries
because their chemicals are deemed ‘dangerous’ !

In Singapore, you can get sentenced to 15 years in prison
and a $500,000 fine for using a chemical in food products
that’s common in frozen dinners.

Mountain Dew & products used to keep carpets from catching fire
are made from the same chemical.

A chemical found in Chex Mix is known to cause cancer in rats.


more at the link…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2345564/Shocking-list-US-foods-BANNED-countries-containing-dangerous-chemicals.html

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DID I FORGET TO MENTION ?

SUMMER  IS  HERE !!!

I’m still not getting out too much,
so one day is pretty much like any other.


One wacky thing ?

It always feels like saturday nite !!!

I wake during the nite knowing
the morning will be sunday !

(hard to keep track of the days of the week)

SUMMER SHOULD BRING A DIFFERENCE…



THE DAY OF THE WEEK

I’M NOT SURE OF

WILL BE MUCH HOTTER

GOOD  NIGHT…

017 - scary clown-go to bed
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018 - rip bottom 3 bikini girls


COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome, but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you might be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH  (PILLBUG)
——————————————–

other renfield links…
Northern Exposure: “The Eagle Has Landed” (an alternate ending)
over 100.000 combined NX hits…
RetroWeb Classic Television: Northern Exposure
read both NX stories…the alternate final episode and a christmas episode.

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About the Author

Me? I'm just your average, opinionated, witty, talented-type person... (someone you'd run away from in person, but makes for entertaining reading)... From my lair in New Jersey, I pass my 'judgement' on the world around me... inserting (original) humor where it's applicable... 10 years of ME every week !!! and still going strong... WHEN WILL THIS GUY SNAP ? Check in weekly so you can witness the 'crash-and-burn'... It HAS to be soon !!!