† RIP Renfield #704 – FATHERS DAY †

† RIP Renfield #704 – FATHERS DAY †

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***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY, AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***
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(except for the stuff I make up, lie about, or receive mis-information about)

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ISSUE # 704———————June-8-2013

† RIP Renfield †
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FATHERS  DAY
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NEW  ISSUE  EACH  WEEK !!!

PAST ISSUES ARCHIVED at…
www.RipRenfield.com
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Don’t be a stranger…

I can be contacted at
RIPRenfield@aol.com
or better yet
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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As Maury Povich would say…

” You ARE the  father ! “
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Another FATHERS DAY

Four grown kids…
maybe I can top last year,
50 % acknowledge-ment from them !
(1 lives with me)
I must be a real son-of-a-bitch !
Personally, I don’t see it.

At least I always get a great gift !
(it’s the
ONLY kind I buy for myself)

Oh boy,

I hope when I unwrap it,

it’s the SAMSUNG GALAXY S4 phone !

I’LL TRY TO LOOK SURPRISED !

So many bullshit features,
it’ll take me months to figure them out.
Got alot of time on my hands anyway.
(the youtube tutorials help quite a bit)
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R.I.P


HENRY BECKMAN


004 - RIP DEAD - HENRY BECKMAN

Canadian stage, film and television actor.
He appeared in well over 100 productions in the USA & Canada,
including recurring roles as Commander Paul Richards
in the 1954 Flash Gordon space opera television series,
Bob Mulligan in the ABC sitcom I’m Dickens, He’s Fenster,
George Anderson in the television adaptation of Peyton Place,
Captain Clancey in the Western comedy-drama Here Come the Brides,
and conniving U.S. Army Colonel Douglas Harrigan in McHale’s Navy.
He made four guest appearances on the CBS court drama series Perry Mason,
including the role of David the murderer in the 1960 episode,
“The Case of the Flighty Father.” In the 1980s Beckman played
security guard Alf on the Don Adams sitcom Check It Out!
and was also a non-celebrity contestant on the TV game show Scrabble.

He also co-starred as Sandy Duncan’s landlord in the series Funny Face.
He continued to act through his late 70s on shows like The X-Files
and many others. He also won two Canadian Etrog Awards,
now known as the Genie Award, his last one in 1978 for Blood and Guts.

With his wife and fellow actor Cheryl Maxwell,
Beckman founded the Dukes Oak Theater in Cooperstown, New York,
and served as the theater company’s producer.

Beckman was the author of How to Sell your Film Project,
a how-to guide on getting independent films produced.


005 - resp in peace OFF-THE-AIR


REST – in- PEACE
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DON’T EXPECT MUCH

FROM THE NEW HEAD OF THE IRS !

006 - IRS - on the rack

He’s ‘located’ one of the key results
of
RECENT tax agency woes…

HE SAYS THAT TAXPAYERS
NO LONGER TRUST THE AGENCY !

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

LIKE AS MUCH AS WE TRUSTED THEM
LAST YEAR, THE YEAR BEFORE, 10 YEARS AGO ?


007 - trust - definition


THE MAN DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE !!!
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DUPED ?

(after performing criminal act, eyes open, for pay?)


The American woman who was shot dead in Syria
accused of being an Al Qaeda supporter
married a Muslim man in a sham wedding
for which she was paid cash and a van.

CRIMINAL, did she even consider TRAITOROUS ?
Must have been a nice van,
to close your eyes to the possibilities.

Nicole Mansfield entered in a ‘deal’ with Ayman Mohammed Bafil
under which they would stay together until he got a green card.

But I give too much credit to people,
too many are extremely STUPID !

(Was she mentally challenged?)
NO SYMPATHY COMING FROM ME !

HE WAS A STRANGER !

(did the prince send the smuggled money?)

The pair met online, never lived together and did not even
consummate their marriage – but after his papers came through
he paid her what he owed.

AND SHE ‘PAID’ TOO

GOOD RIDDANCE
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Christa Dias, a lesbian teacher
fired from Catholic schools after becoming pregnant
through artificial insemination,
is now suing the Catholic Archdiocese of Cincinnati.

008 - very pregnant woman

Ca-ching ?


Or PURPOSELY making a statement ?

Just being openly gay was enough
to get her fired…
IT’S A SIN-THING !
And church-teaching about
THEIR morality gets sticky !

Just as a Jewish school might fire
someone coming out as anti-Israel.

Seems she was able to keep her job,
even as a gay person.

But an unmarried pregnant woman
is way over the top for a
religious school, not a secular school.


I’M NOT ENDORSING OR CONDEMNING,
JUST BEING A PRAGMATIST.


WHAT DID SHE EXPECT ?

009 - pope - open arms
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MAKES NICE PRESS


BUT

President Barack Obama on Monday called for
a more robust national discussion on mental illness.
His goal was to let people affected by these issues
know they should not suffer in silence.

The president emphasized that most people
with mental health problems are not violent,
but untreated mental illness can lead to larger tragedies.

——-

Fine, ask people to expose their real or supposed
mental illness, especially in early stages,
and create a paper trail that will
lead to a life of discrimination or ‘watch lists’
whether you are crazy or not.

My employer provided services
for workers with ‘problems’ to get help.

SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA ?
You are a moron, espec. if you have medical coverage,
if you get help from your employer’s hired-gun !

You may not be ‘let-go’ for something
you said in ’session’, but one wrong word
and you could find yourself let go for other reasons !

YOU HAVE COVERAGE ?

Get your own therapist,
who gets paid by you, and is answerable to you,
and THEN spill your guts !


BUT BE ON GUARD

Get in any problem with the law,
or hired ’sensitive’ job, or elected office,
and ‘mental help’ could bite you in-the-ass !

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“Only exceptionally rational men

can afford to be absurd.”

010 - humble monks

Oh… Pshaw
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HOW !!!

011 - girl grad w feather

High school student fined $1,000
and has diploma withheld for wearing
eagle feather in graduation cap
as symbol of her Native American heritage
Creek Indian member Chelsey Ramer, 17,
said her school’s reaction is ‘discrimination’.

012 - girl grads feather close


I’d have to agree that it’s discrimination.
If she were Muslin & wore a burka,
there would be no argument.
If she wore a yamulke version
of a graduation cap, no problem.

Add Native Americans
to the list of ’spiritual’ beliefs groups,
like Christians, you can shit-on with impunity !

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MY OWN LIFEBOAT GAME…

(tip-of-the-hat to RON & FEZ)

Room for 3 in the lifeboat,

who stays with the sinking ship ?

YOU  CHOOSE !!!

THE CHOICE -

YOU LOSE THE TV & MOVIE  FRANCHISES
ERASES THEM COMPLETELY…..
THE LEGACY GONE…

GAME 1

KING KONG
GODZILLA
JAWS
PREDATOR

GAME 2

FREDDIE
MICHAEL MEYERS
CHUCKIE
JASON

GAME 3

FRANKENSTEIN’S  MONSTER
WOLFMAN
DRACULA (nite time, no flying)
MUMMY

If so moved, leave a comment at the bottom.
If good reasons, I might just actually approve it.

(I almost never do… preferring email)

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I was listening to some actress being interviewed…

Beyonce getting ass-slapped by a fan came up.
It led to her relating a story about
‘power-walking’ one morning in CANNES.

A bicycle rider approached from the other
direction and as he passed,
reached out and grabbed a hand-ful of boob !

013 - hand in dress-boobs

(sounded very expertly, done more than once?)
Shocked, but with no injury, she laughed it off
and added it to her ‘war’ story collection.

It brought to mind something I was involved with
when I was 17 and a new driver.
Me driving with a buddy passenger,
looked ahead to see the car in front of us slow,
pull close to a female bicycle rider,
lean out of the moving car window,
and swatted her on the ass.

014 - great ass closeup

We were far back enough to make the same
maneuver and my buddy took the swat !
(she was a stranger to us)
Lo & behold, while laughing hysterically,
we end up behind the other car at a red light.
A VERY LONG RED LIGHT !!!
We were shrinking in our seats
when we saw the other car contained
her father and big sister !!!

015 - chevy chase drive

I’M GLAD HE LET IT GO
AND I COULD KEEP MY TEETH

but speaking of pranks…

SKIP PAST THIS PART
IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR MIND
POLLUTED WITH THE ULTIMATE PRANK

I’ve jokingly used it on occasion with women,
but probably works (differently) with men.

HERE GOES…

The next time you are having sex,

whatever you do,

DO NOT THINK OF ME !!!

016 - hot sex-hideous people

That one got me punched in the arm a few times,
even weeks after the ‘fuse’ was set !

I got that from the old Superman TV Show.
There was this burro in Mexico
that could read minds.  The crooks told the
bank manager  “whatever you do,
don’t think of the combination of the vault”.
The burro read his mind & tapped out the combination.

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GOV’T  RULES  FOLLOWED

at lavish IRS conferences.

So testifies IRS commissioner

017 - IRS commish Fink

Somehow the name fits !!!
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The  BOWERY  BOYS

018 - the bowery boys

I  Wiki’d  Bowery Boys to recall
Leo Gorcey’s character’s full name.
? Aloysius ‘Slip’ Mahoney.
I had no problem coming up with
Horace Debussy ‘Sach’ Jones
(Huntz Hall)

I never knew LEO’s brother DAVID GORCEY
played CHUCK, one of the gang.
And LOUIE DUMBROWSKI, played by BERNARD GORCEY,
owner of the sweet shop hangout,
was father to both of them !

(keeping the family employed?)

Another thing I didn’t know ?
LEO GORCEY was quite the shrewd,
and ‘diva’, of a businessman (most of the time) !

EAST SIDE KIDS ended when Gorcey’s demand
to have his weekly salary DOUBLED was denied !

This break-up led to the BOWERY BOYS.
Gorcey, who owned forty percent of the new company,
starred, produced, and contributed to the scripts.

019 - bowery boys intro
In 1955, Bernard Gorcey was killed in an automobile accident,
devastating his son Leo. Leo drank heavily, & it visibly affected
his performance in the following film, Crashing Las Vegas,
it would be his last. (During filming he became violently unhinged,
trashing the set and destroying every prop in sight.)
At a subsequent meeting with Allied Artists,
Gorcey demanded an increase on the 40% interest
he held in the series. This was denied, & after a heated exchange
he quit the series and stormed off the studio lot.

The studio owed exhibitors three more films for the 1956 season,
so Gorcey was replaced by Stanley Clements
a former tough-teen actor who had been in
a few East Side Kids movies. Clements, as “Duke Coveleskie,”
adapted to the series easily and completed the three films,
which now starred “Huntz Hall and The Bowery Boys.”
The new Hall-Clements partnership was successful enough
to be renewed for the 1957 season.

In all, there were 48 Bowery Boys films
(the longest feature-film series in motion picture history).
Only Huntz Hall & David Gorcey lasted the entire run.

addendum…

LEO GORCEY’s name was

TERRANCE ALOYSIUS  MAHONEY



one more thing…

020 - sgt pepper w gorcey
(upper right hand corner, left of Dylan)

Leo Gorcey & Huntz Hall were paid homage by
being selected to be included on the iconic
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
album cover (BEATLES).  Huntz is there, but not Gorcey.

021 - sgt pepper w-o gorcey
(all gone)

The Gorcey photo was removed after Gorcey’s agent
demanded a $400 payment for use of his image.
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my  life…

(and YOU are welcome to it)

My nephew is in his 30’s, married, 2 kids,
house in the ‘burbs, & an employed teacher.
In his early 20’s, the male pattern baldness set in.
(he had light brown, wiry hair)
He went with the shaved head look about 10 years ago.
Never thought I’d approve of that look.

022 - bald head

BUT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS VERY GOOD ON HIM !

In front of HIS mother (my sister) & MY mother,
I made the mistake of saying he looks better
without hair than he did WITH hair !

(a nice compliment considering he has no choice)

THEY JUMPED ALL OVER ME,
EVEN LET ME KNOW A FEW THINGS
ABOUT MY OWN APPEARANCE…


HOW  DARE  I  !!!

Sometimes I forget to keep my mouth shut !!!

023 - mouth taped shut
KOBAYASHI MARU all over again !
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IF YOU THINK I’M NUTTY,

I COME BY IT HONESTLY…

FIRST… I just moved some IRA money around.
Couldn’t wait to congratulate MY investment guy
for a good job.  I got an erroneous statement in the mail,
with my name & info, showing how my $1.3 million was doing !
I DON’T HAVE $1.3 MILLION !  IT’S A ‘LAUGHER’ !
My mother calls, I can’t wait to tell her the joke,
and she’s trying to warn ME about a scam.
She’s totally serious even after I tell her it came from
MY people, with MY legit info (other than amt.)
and I consider it a joke !  Tried to tell her the ‘Nigerian prince’
was after HER, not ME since she’s been ‘caught’
occasionally with little things over the years.

I’M CONSTANTLY SUSPICIOUS
NO ONE GIVES ANYTHING AWAY
IF IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, WALK AWAY

(mom?  not so much!)

So MOMMY tells me her story.

She volunteers at a hospital each Wednesday.
Cops re-directed parking, new sidewalks being laid.
Using her handicapped parking placard,
she parked in a 2 hour spot…
and came out much later to a $60 ticket.
You pay it or wait 2 weeks for your court date.
Mom couldn’t wait she thought she was in the right.
She found her way to the violations desk,
and I don’t know how she managed it
(probably wore them down),
but she got put on the docket,
and then wore the judge down till he
dismissed it & told her not to do it again !

BEEN THERE,
THE JUDGE GOT OFF EASY !

Amazing I can function as well as I can.
I’m thinking most of my ‘bad’ memory
is from things I wasn’t told all my life,
that she insisted I was told…

AND FOR MOST OF MY LIFE,  BELIEVED HER !
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024 - ad    forgotten hits

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/
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IMAGINE THIS CUTIE AGREEING

TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU

025 - cutie - no makeup

AND WHEN YOU KNOCK ON HER DOOR THAT NITE

THIS GIRL OPENS THE DOOR

026 - cutie - WITH makeup

MAKE-UP CAN BE AN AMAZING THING !

(although lessening the intensity of her make-up

a notch or 2 would be perfection)



US GUYS ARE PLAIN OR UGLY,
or just plain ugly,
AND THAT’S ALL YOU GET !!!

SEE MORE EXAMPLES

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2336481/Make-artist-released-photos-porn-stars-au-naturel-unveils-new-set-incredible-transformations.html

I THINK ‘MY GIRL’ IS THE PICK-OF-THE-LITTER,
WITH OR WITHOUT MAKE-UP

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WELL

the pre-issue leading to DAD DAY is over.


I actually keep a collection of the ‘kiddie’ gifts
from many years past.  It’s nice to  ‘accidentally’
run across them randomly years later.

I recommend ALL dads take full advantage
of the excitement from your
LITTLE kids.
It’s a bigger deal to them, then to you.

Later, it’s grandpa’s turn !

THEN IT’S MY TURN…

Maybe I’ll make myself a frozen pizza…
(sometimes it really sucks being me…most of the time?)
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027 - rip bottom - arnold-maria
COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome, but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you might be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH  (PILLBUG)
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other renfield links…
Northern Exposure: “The Eagle Has Landed” (an alternate ending)
over 100.000 combined NX hits…
RetroWeb Classic Television: Northern Exposure
read both NX stories…the alternate final episode and a christmas episode.

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About the Author

Me? I'm just your average, opinionated, witty, talented-type person... (someone you'd run away from in person, but makes for entertaining reading)... From my lair in New Jersey, I pass my 'judgement' on the world around me... inserting (original) humor where it's applicable... 10 years of ME every week !!! and still going strong... WHEN WILL THIS GUY SNAP ? Check in weekly so you can witness the 'crash-and-burn'... It HAS to be soon !!!