† RIP Renfield #687 – NEMO – the BLIZZARD †

† RIP Renfield #687 – NEMO – the BLIZZARD †

————————————————————————————————————————————————————
***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY, AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
(except for the stuff I make up, lie about, or receive mis-information about)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ISSUE # 687———-———Feb-9-2013

† RIP Renfield †
—————–
NEMO -  the BLIZZARD !
_________________________________________

NEW  ISSUE  EACH  WEEK !!!

PAST ISSUES ARCHIVED at…
www.RipRenfield.com
—————————————-

Don’t be a stranger…

I can be contacted at
RIPRenfield@aol.com
or better yet
gary.renfield@gmail.com

*******************************
-
-
-
-
-
SNOW SNOW GO AWAY
(at least some of it)

The northeast USA has really been taking
it’s ‘weather’ lumps lately !
Amazing to be grateful for the 8 inches I got in NJ,
as compared to those not at the edge of the storm.
(46 degrees monday, 40’s rest of the week)
So I’m not inconvenienced at all…

SO LET’S MOVE ON !!!
-
-
-
-
-

_______________________________________
-
-
-
-
uncle joe might be movin’ kinda slow…
but sam ain’t movin’ at all !
-
-

R.I.P

Sam Drucker
(er, FRANK CADY)

004 - RIP DEAD FRANK CADY-SAM DRUCKER

TIME TO CASH-OUT !!!

Best known for playing the down-home shopkeeper,
Sam Drucker,
on the popular 1960s sitcoms “Petticoat Junction” and “Green Acres.”

Mr. Cady played Sam Drucker for nearly a decade on the two shows,
both set in the fictional town of Hooterville.
Mr. Cady’s Sam Drucker also appeared occasionally
on a third homespun comedy, “The Beverly Hillbillies.”

“The only thing I resent is people calling it a corny show,”
“It’s highly sophisticated, and it’s timeless.”

NO ONE CALLED .. THE EGG & I .. CORNY !
and the show was ’sorta’ based on the movie & book.


Mr. Cady had an extensive career outside of Drucker’s store.
He played Doc Williams on “The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet.”
appeared on television shows like “Wagon Train” and “Perry Mason,”
and acted in films, including “Rear Window” and “Ace in the Hole.”

005 - RIP petti-h2o tank

GREEN ACRES should be seen on ‘acid’…
When Lisa Douglas mispronounces the board game as
MONOTONY… sure enough…
SAM tries to sell them a (mock-up) of a
MONOTONY (monopoly) GAME later !

006 - petticoats- rest in peace
-
-
-
_____________________________


-
-
-
-
-

THE BIG-MOUTH FORMER
WHITE HOUSE DOCTOR ABSOLUTELY SHOULD
KEEP HER BIG MOUTH SHUT !!!

She could be 100% right in her ‘death-likely’
assessment of overweight Gov. Christie,
but since when has medical opinion
been reported on politicians without examination ?

Plenty of them with mental issues, who smoke,
sex addictions, drug abusers, alcoholic behavior,
even police intervention and arrests !

POLITICALLY  MOTIVATED ?
WHY IS CHRISTIE THE FIRST ‘RECEIVER’
OF UN-INFORMED MEDICAL ASSESSMENT ?
BILL CLINTON DID, & CONTINUES, TO ‘SMOKE’ CIGARS.
WHEN WAS THE HEALTH RISK EVER MENTIONED ?
NAH… IT WAS CUTE & MANLY !
(and she WAS Clinton’s White House doctor)

Also there’s more than one politician she could
‘out’ for dangerous un-protected sex
that could be life threatening !

…sidebar…
Old man on park bench sees kid eating candy bar
after candy bar.  He tells the kid that eating too much
candy could kill him early.  The kid says that his
grandfather lived to be 100 ! Old man says
” And he ate that much candy ? ”
Kid says…
” No, he minded his own friggin’ business !!! “

—————-

HEY DOC, MIND YOUR OWN FRIGGIN’ BUSINESS !!!
-
-
-
-

________________________________
-
-
-
-

…one more…

HILLARY  CLINTON

She’s as much a presIdential contender as Christie.
The same injury & medical problems that let her ’skate’
on her Secretary of State fiasco hearing
should also
DISQUALIFY her for president !

(WHADDAYA SAY TO THAT DOC ?)

Her ‘fall’ gave her a concussion,
double-vision, and a
BLOODCLOT near her brain.
(clots can be stress related, she may have more)

Having those issues in your ‘golden’ years ?
YOU CAN ONLY GET WORSE !!!
(president ? more a prime candidate for a stroke)

The medical community should get the word out,
the stressful job could kill her !!!

Hmmm…  I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING ?

addendum…
Christie can diet, Hillary is fucked !
-
-
-
-
-

_____________________________________

-
-
-
-
-

…in ’skank’ news…

The Youtube of the dopey young woman
who behaved ‘badly’ in court
(gave the judge ‘the finger’ & said FU)
clearly shows her digging-her-own-grave
and, instead of going home, deservedly got 30 days
in county jail for contempt-of-court.

WHY IS THIS WOMAN IN JAIL
and
MULTI-MULTI CRIMINAL OFFENDING SKANK

(with no end in sight)

LINDSAY  LOHAN

walking around free without a care in the world ?

007 - lohan - skank

DO THE SKANK A FAVOR,

LOCK HER UP,

IT’LL DO HER GOOD !

008 - lohan - young skank

I’m sure the other little miss wiseass
will behave in court from now on.

addendum
The wise-ass apologized & cried… contempt reversed.
So guys, you want off, cry like a bitch !

-
-
-
-

____________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

Don’t know if NJ Senator Menendez
is national news, but here goes…

He was recently RE-elected so somebody likes him.
BUT seems to be getting alot of attention for ’shady’ business.

Might be a gov’t investigation for corruption,
took ‘gift’ trips to Dominican Republic
(private jets from his biggest donor needing a ‘favor’)
that he paid for AFTER the reveal
(never heard them called vacations),
and newspaper reports that he used the services
of prostitutes & liked ‘em young, real young
(wink,wink)
and ‘un-used’ (’inexperienced’).

HE DENIES ALL OF COURSE
but alot of ‘eyes’ are on him !

(we’ll have to see how it plays out)

Some heinous & criminal charges,
but the least of them goes un-noticed & pisses me off !

WHY IS A NJ SENATOR NEEDING TO TAKE
MULTIPLE TRIPS TO THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC ?

He’s supposed to represent New Jersey, not them !
I’m very offended by politicians wasting ‘elected time’
on-the-road.  Fact-finding, campaigning in other states,
excessive overseas trips, raising money that
doesn’t benefit NJ….
THAT should be criminal !

THERE REALLY SHOULD BE ONE TERM LIMITS !
Come in ‘fresh’, give a 100% effort, 100% of your time,
KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN,
get something done for the country, and leave after
your term and do all the bullshit you want (on your dollar) !
GIVE THE ‘TAG’ TO YOUR ‘FRESH’ REPLACEMENT,
NOT YOUR LOST-A-STEP, BURNED-OUT SELF !!!

GET A REAL JOB LIKE THE REST OF US !
-
-
-
-

______________________________________
-
-
-
-
-
-

…RUINING HIS BUZZ ?

The MVP of the SUPERBOWL
was awarded a $60,000 CORVETTE !

009 - mvp corvette award

Good on the surface
but an award or a gift that needs to be ‘fed’ blows !
In India there used to be the ‘white elephant’.
Considered somewhat sacred, they could not be
‘worked’ as a beast-of-burden.  So you had to shelter,
feed, & clean-up after it and got nothing back.

IT  COST  YOU !!!
Like someone buying your kids a game system,
leaving you to buy $80 games !


The CORVETTE ?
Taxes are $25,000, insurance $8,000 yearly…
Donate it to charity ?
THANKS FOR NOTHING !
(and there’s still a tax bill)
You sell it ?
I AIN’T NO FRIGGIN’ CAR DEALER !
(who pays list price ?and the dealer would take a cut too)

THE LEAST THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE
WAS PRE-PAY THE TAX BURDEN.
-
-
-
-

_____________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

AMERICANS  KILLING  AMERICANS

WITHOUT   DUE-PROCESS ?

People can’t be that stupid !
It must just be for face-time on the news !

If an ‘american’ or anyone wants to travel or study
with terrorist organizations on their turf,
you do it at your own risk !
HOW COULD IT BE OTHERWISE ?
(kill them, not me…
NOW I’m an american?)
American aiding (in-person) enemies of the USA ?
Don’t they usually call them
TRAITOR !

It’s not like the drone picked-him-off in Montana !
(although I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it)

GOOD   RIDDANCE !!!

WHY IS IT EVEN QUESTIONED ?

American ‘terror-supporters’ should now be on notice !
(go ahead and ‘visit’ overseas training camps)
-
-
-
-

__________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

PARANOID in the BIG CITY ?

YOU SHOULD BE

(especially if you’re driving)

010 - stay paranoid

A police officer friend, responding to a claim
of tracking someone with his EZ-PASS tolls
(a reason many don’t use them)
to radio host Anthony Cumia (opie&anthony),
took out his smart phone, called-up an app
for police use, entered Cumia’s license plate number,
and was presented with a red-dot covered map of NYC
tracing, by time & date, Anthony’s car movements !
Click on a ‘dot’ and you see your image
caught by a traffic, or any other, camera on the system !

011 - lots traffic cams

Even when you drive within legal limits.
AND IT WORKS EZ-PASS or NOT !!!
(just from your license plate ‘capture’)

012 - ez pass signals

IF YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT BEING TRACED,

WALK & WEAR A MASK !
-
-
-
-

__________________________________
-
-
-
-

“Any clod can have the facts,

but having opinions is an art.”


Oh pshaw…  thank you, thank you, thank you…
I NEVER LET THE FACTS GET IN THE WAY !
- Renfield

-
-
-

____________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

JOHN McCAIN as a DIPLOMAT ?

HE GOT MY VOTE !!!

Upon hearing that the IRANIAN  president
would want to go to space in an Iranian rocketship,
McCAIN commented…

” Didn’t he go just last week ! ”

013 - monkey astronaut

I THINK HE PISSED-OFF THE IRANIANS !

Awwww…
-
-
-
-

_________________________________
-
-
-
-
-
-

BIG SNOW STORM HITS NORTHEAST

I’m more to the bottom edge of the super-major stuff,
but we got ‘hit’ by plenty of weather !

One thing I’m having trouble with ?

Been in this area my entire life
and can never remember (until recently)
warnings & preparations for large-scale power failures !
In fact, I can remember (mostly short)
power outages only happening a handful of times.
(and 3 of those in the last 20 years)

WHAT’S THE DEAL ?

Are the trees taller or is the infrastructure crumbling ?
-
-
-
-

_________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

Ive only seen the commercial ‘teasing’
a new reality show…

SOUTHIE  RULES

014 - southie rules

but those ‘proud’, ‘guttery’, slum-like people they highlight
make the cast of
THE JERSEY SHORE
look and sound like college professors !


They’re not isolated (neither are other wacky sub-cultures).
They get the same tv, radio, & internet the rest of us do
and they probably laugh at…

JERSEY SHORE, HONEY BOOBOO, HILLBILLY REALITY

without realizing ALL of the people on THOSE shows
look, and laugh, at them the same way !
THEY HAVE NO IDEA THEY ARE THE JOKE !

I WON’T BE WATCHING

THEY’RE EMBARRASSING WITHOUT BEING ENTERTAINING !

I HAVE A HARD TIME WITH ‘GROUPS’ (not just ’southie’)
THAT ARE THAT COMFORTABLE
EXISTING SO CLOSE TO THE GUTTER !

I’M NOT PARTICULARLY SMART,
BUT WHEN YOU GRADE ON THE ‘CURVE’,
COMPARATIVELY I MUST BE UP THERE
WITH FRIGGIN’ EINSTEIN !!!

-
-
-
-

___________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

Controversy as Newtown children’s choir
is revealed to have no connection to Sandy Hook
and is run by
former high school teacher accused of stealing.


Newtown Music Project features a few Sandy Hook children
but there is no formal connection with the school.
Choir has appeared on Good Morning America & will be on the Grammy’s.

NOTHING IS EVER ‘SQUEAKY-CLEAN’ ANYMORE !
(and there’s too many looking for ‘dirt’ to hide yours)
-
-
-
-

_____________________________________
-
-
-
-
-
-

DEAD  ZONE, the movie, was on the other nite.
(that Martin Sheen shows up everywhere… for decades!)
((BADLANDS with baton twirler CISSY SPACEK another good one))

015 - chris walken-dead zone

I have to give
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN a tip-of-the-hat !
Great movie, perfectly cast… was even turned into a
pass-able tv series for a few years.
Although the series got muddled, like they all do,
with an arch enemy just a bit smarter than the hero.
It would have worked fine without the ‘under’ story.

ANYWAY…

CHRIS WALKEN
spends part of the movie
(after his 5 year coma) getting his legs ‘back’.
His skillful, on the money, use of a cane gave me
some great pointers that inspired me to ‘cane-it’,
instead of being lazy with the walker.

016 - chris walken w cane

(I also ‘googled’ cane walking for tips)
((I ‘google’ most anything I need to know))

Picked up the cane the next day
and now use it almost exclusively !
Technique & practice should lead to
speed & normalcy alot faster now !

-
-
-
-

___________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

Some fools wasted time & money in a study
that determined that a large number of
STROKE VICTIMS (like me)
are so ‘bummed’, they consider suicide !

DUH… REALLY ?

Immediately afterwards, in hospital,
I made 12 (individually) of the people closest to me
(including my doctor)
promise to do the ‘right thing’
if I declined into major disability,
coma, paralysis, or became half-a-retard !

I ASSURED THEM NO QUESTIONS
WOULD BE ASKED

(take a pillow, make ie clean & easy)

I figured 1 of the 12 would come thru.

I GOT BETTER

DIDN’T NEED NO STINKIN’ ‘STUDY’ !!!
-
-
-
-

______________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

GEEZ

IS IT MY SCARY TALENT,
OR DO I GET PICKED-ON BECAUSE
I JUST HAVE MORE GRAPHICS SKILLS

(even though minimal)
THAN THE REST OF MY FAMILY ?

I’M THE GO-TO GUY AROUND HERE !

I’ve been asked to:

TAKE CARS OUT OF PHOTOS
ADD DEAD GRANDPA TO FAMILY GROUP SHOTS
TAKE SCATTERED GROUPS & MAKE THEM TIGHT
PLACE PEOPLE ON BETTER BACKGROUNDS

BUT THIS WAS A NEW ONE

017 - change-add shoes-boots 1

REPLACE THE (UGLY) SHOES WITH BLACK BOOTS !
-
-
Using all my skills
(I don’t want his mother to see him like this – vito)

I FOUND SOME BOOTS

018 - change-add --shoes-boots 2

NICE JOB ?
BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH !

” Can’t you make the boots higher ? ”

(CAN’T YOU GIVE BETTER INSTRUCTIONS !!!)

NO PROB, ALL I GOT IS TIME…

019 - change-add --shoes-boots 3

ALOT CHEAPER THAN BUYING BOOTS !
-
-
-
-

______________________________________
-
-
-
-

…never  good  enough…

I spent my first full-day on my new ‘cane’.
Thanks to google & Chris Walken,
I was walking-around confidently, too confidently.
If I concentrated, I could walk 75-80% normal pace.

020 - hugo quad cane

MOM ARRIVES TO VISIT !!!

I set her up to watch me show off !
(should have been a wondrous sight)
I stand straight-up, take cane in hand,
and proceed across the room & back to my chair.

CONGRATS or a WOW from MOM ?

NAH !!!
” Is that as far as you can go ? ”

Taken aback, I say…
” YES, UNLESS I LEAVE THE ROOM “
(leaving her behind alone)

IT’S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH !!!

addendum…
Later that day, I re-created the funny scene for my sister.
Except by walking, talking, & joking
I turned the wrong way (away from the cane),
lost my balance, and fell !!!
I’d been leading a charmed life,
hadn’t even been close to falling before.

(I KNEW IT WAS COMING, BOUND TO HAPPEN)

So it taught me to be more careful & less confident
(less talk during turning maneuvers)
learned to always turn to the right (cane hand),
found out how to get up from the ground
(up on knees, got to couch, flipped over,
wiggled ass on to couch & then sitting position.
Only problem was that it was a low couch.
So it took sister & daughter under armpits
(with a little lift, I could use my knees)
and a 1,2,3 UP and I was back on my feet !

THE DAMAGE ?

My neighbor reported an earthquake,
no strains, sprains, cuts, bumped head, or broken bones,
but I’m very sore at point of impact.
Not sure if it’s a bruise or a pulled muscle,
probably a combo of both.
It’s mostly my left backside, below my hip & ass,
but as much to the side as the back.
I slept well, can sit well (without pain)
but woke a little ‘rattled’ and less confident.
A little harder to get up and I’m staying off the cane
and my daily therapy exercises for a few days.

ADDENDUM
Felt much better the next day.
Another day or 2 and I’m back to exercising.
When it rains though…
Another first, rolled off the bed on to the floor
a few nites later.  No hurt but took alot of solo effort
to get back on the bed.  BUT I DID IT !

(couldn’t get any ‘push’, my socks kept sliding on the carpet)
-
-
-
-

__________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

I’ve been watching alot of tv
and sometimes ’sample’ something that sounds BAD
from the listing description, such as…

DEVIL

From M. Night Shamalamalamalama.
His ’star’ isn’t so bright as it was with 6th SENSE
back in the old days
(his stuff not ‘must see’ anymore).

THAT SAID
This film takes place mostly in an elevator.

021 - devil - the movie

5 people trapped, rescuers can’t get them out,
them being killed one-at-a-time by one of them
that remains a mystery till the end.
(don’t ask or wonder, it works)
OH… ADD SOME ‘SUPERNATURAL !

SOUNDS  HORRIBLE

BUT I LOVED IT AND WATCHED IT AGAIN
TO PICK UP NUANCES…

I recommend it…. M. Night is back !
-
-
-
-

________________________________
-
-
-
-
-

Just reached my personal ‘length’ limit,
so I guess I’ll end it here.
There were lots of things to comment on
and I have a feeling I’m going to regret
NOT holding back & saving some for next issue.

Readers probably switch to ’scan mode’
when there’s too much to read…
I DO try to move on quickly
for YOUR benefit.

KEEP WARM

DON’T KILL YOURSELF

SHOVELING SNOW
-
022 - rip bottom snow cars

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome, but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you might be wasting your time…

TO SUBSCRIBE OR TO BE REMOVED FROM THE MAILING LIST
AOL–CLICK HERE OR MAIL REQUEST TO RipRENFIELD@AOL.COM

************************************************************************************************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH  (PILLBUG)
——————————————–

other renfield links…
Northern Exposure: “The Eagle Has Landed” (an alternate ending)
over 100.000 combined NX hits…
RetroWeb Classic Television: Northern Exposure
read both NX stories…the alternate final episode and a christmas episode.

*************************************************************
FURS PROVIDED by DICKER & DICKER of BEVERLY HILLS

About the Author

Me? I'm just your average, opinionated, witty, talented-type person... (someone you'd run away from in person, but makes for entertaining reading)... From my lair in New Jersey, I pass my 'judgement' on the world around me... inserting (original) humor where it's applicable... 10 years of ME every week !!! and still going strong... WHEN WILL THIS GUY SNAP ? Check in weekly so you can witness the 'crash-and-burn'... It HAS to be soon !!!