† RIP Renfield #644 – Presidents Day †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 644 –  PRESIDENTS DAY  †

February 18, 2012

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I was so busy this week ’scrounging’ for items
for this issue, that I don’t have one of my ‘pithy’ openings
for the Presidents Day Issue of RIP Renfield !

It was a quiet week, extremely nice weather for February,
and I can’t really complain…

SO I WON’T !!!

Hmmm… I’m really wanting to win a big lottery prize this week.

(‘Mecca Lecca High Mecca Hiney Ho!’)

I added it to my ‘to do’ reminder list…

” WIN (BIG) LOTTERY PRIZE “

I usually get to everything on my list…
some in the short term, some in the long term…

BUT THEY ALL GET DONE !

okay…

ON WITH THE SHOW, LET’S BEGIN….
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R.I.P

AND THAT’S MY WALLET
WE’RE TALKING TO…

YEP… THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL
DEAD PRESIDENTS !!!

the million dollar bill only exists
as a promotional item…

BUT I CAN DREAM,

CAN’T I ?
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REST-in-PEACE
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ILLEGAL  GUNS

The mayor of New York City,
responding to the fact that 3 cops
have been shot in the last 2 months…
said…
” WE MUST GET RID OF THE ILLEGAL GUNS “

Well, duh…

HOW YA GONNA DO IT ?

Putting restrictions on LEGAL guns
certainly hasn’t helped !
It’s a rare thing to get a carry permit in the city.
There are MAJOR restrictions if you legally carry
and drive thru the city to another destination.
It’s nearly impossible to get a carry-conceal
permit in New York City… Who’s doing the shooting ?

SO YOU COULD ACTUALLY MAKE A CASE
FOR ALLOWING MORE LEGAL GUNS,

THEY AREN’T THE PROBLEM !!!

(and the illegal ones will always find a way into the city)
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I had this idea to get un-deserved bonus monies

out of the hands of the WALL STREET crowd…

(use it for the benefit of the OCCUPY-ers?)

BUILD A CASINO

ACROSS FROM THE STOCK EXCHANGE !

Those over-payed, over bonus-ed,
addictive, sick fucks looking for their
next ‘RUSH’ will eat-it-up !

They’ll flock to ANOTHER vice, en masse,
like the casino WHALES they are !

It will give them great enjoyment
to piss-away all that ‘play’ money.
(there’s plenty more where that came from)

AND THE CASINO COMMISSION ?

They’ll find a way to piss-away
any, and ALL, ‘new’ money that comes into city coffers
and turn the casino from profit-to-loss !
(like they did with off-track-betting)

BUT THE ‘HOTSHOTS’ WON’T

MISS A PAYCHECK !

(while they lay-off the ‘wait-staff’)
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Missing Snow ?

NOT ME !!!
(another light jacket or sweat-shirt day)

But it must be really screwing with the ’snow’ economy !
Ski and snow resorts I’m not worried about…
even in a ‘good’ winter they complain…
much like boardwalk vendors who’ve never had a good  year !

But after last year’s 53 continuous days of snow on the ground,
the suppliers of winter staples either ran out or were in low supply.

THIS year? You can’t give ice-melting salt away…
no reason to buy a plow or snow shovel…
(so stocks much be bursting)
Then there’s the car window scrapers and brushes,
winter wear… parkas, gloves, boots, non-slip footwear…
the snow removal industry and their employees…
and with the weather so pleasant…
no need to escape the house to restaurants & bars…
there are other things to do !

FOR THE ‘SNOW’ ECONOMY ?

It’s been a disaster !!!

BUT BEWARE !!!

The need for heating oil & gas in much of the country
is SO below ‘normal’… expect prices to rise !
(and shortages to be ‘created’)
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AND if you think you’ll see some benefit
from the tax monies saved from NOT removing snow ?

FORGET ABOUT IT !

I’m sure it’ll be spent on nonsense
long before the public looks for an accounting of it !
(and no school snow days?  out early, plan to pay for daycare)

of course…
Winter isn’t over yet…

BUT
(in the northeast anyway)
We got away with…
December, January, & most of February so far…
ALL ‘LOST’ TO THE GOOD WEATHER…
and Spring is closing in on us !!!

GIVE ME A WINTER LIKE THIS ONE
ALL THE TIME !!!  It’s been great !
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IS IT JUST ME ?

or do RED high heels send a message ?

TALK TO ME …

GUYS HAVE THEIR RED-’POWER’-TIES,
but, screw ties, they don’t get the same attention from me !

HOLD ON, I THINK IT’S COMING THRU…

(yeah, baby)

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Just wondering…

do OTHER colors ‘transmit’ ?

ON CLOSER EXAMINATION…

BLUE IS FINE

BUT I’M NOT GETTING THE ‘MESSAGE,

RED DEMANDS AT LEAST A LOOK,

IF NOT AN ANSWER !!!
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NOW THAT IT WAS DELIVERED…

I can show you the Valentine card I sent out…

I showed (or told) some people…
I thought it was the greatest card !
Some laughed, more were shocked !
It’s not like I was giving it to my wife,
but my daughter and RIP graphics VP did…

(the ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ was on the inside)

NOW  THAT’S  LOVE  !!!

And for family, I traditionally put a signed index card
inside the card instead of writing on it…
(except for mom & little kids)
I think my cards are usually clever enough
to use twice… (and they are a waste of money afterall)

For my nephews ?

I always gave them a choice for their birthdays…
$10 and a card… OR  $20 and NO card !
(never did have to get them cards)
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found ANOTHER Valentine Card…

the cover… (woman speaking)…

” Yes, yes.. put it in honey.. put it in…”

open the card ?

Man bent-over in front of dishwasher
putting a dish inside of it…

with his wife standing behind him
with her hands on her hips !
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My last Valentine was to a ‘crush’
out in California… a HUG card… and a lollipop…



I’ve not lost-my-mind over her…
(my wife doesn’t let me date)

but developing a friendly-acquaIntance would be nice…
(and I’m running out of excuses to ‘occasionally’ contact)

BUT I PROBABLY PICKED THE WRONG YEAR FOR THAT…

2012 ?

IT’S THE 50th ANNIVERSARY of THE MUSIC MAN

and a certain someone might be in alot of demand,
and not available for my nonsense !
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As you know…

I’m still being treated for my blood clots (lungs),
and now my wife is having some difficulty
that hopefully will be resolved
without as much trouble…

AND I JUST WANT IT TO BE KNOWN…

When the time comes…
I want to be the first one to die !!!
I want her to survive me !!!
(even though she’s older than I am)

For one thing…

it’s going to be such a chore, and mess,
to clean out, store, or get rid of…
the other person’s ’shit’….

Secondly…

After one of you dies…
THERE’S JUST A TON OF PAPERWORK
JUST TO GET EVERYTHING IN ONE NAME !
I hate paperwork… and that sounds like such a drudge.

GO FIRST ?

I don’t give a crap about my stuff then…
and
NO paperwork !
(not for the dead one anyway)

AND I AIN’T EVEN BRINGING UP
ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS
FOR THE FUNERAL !!!

(and a reasonable mourning period)

YEP…

THE MOVE IS TO DIE FIRST !
(just so much easier)
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and I have reason to believe I’m going first…
YEARS AGO…
I was having a similar discussion with a co-worker…
saying how I’d probably out-live her…
(she IS 7 1/2 years older afterall… I’m a baby by comparison)

BUT…

THIS OTHER GUY did a ’shiver’…
got a strange look and told me
that I was going to die first !!!

Seems he gets ‘messages’ from his dead brother.
(and he was serious)
When I said that I’d outlive her…
He CLAIMED that his dead brother
brushed his upper arm
(thereby giving him that ’shiver’)

SO… WOO HOO…

I don’t have to empty the house
and no exasperating calls to accounts…
and NO friggin’ paperwork !!!

I  AM  SITTIN’  PRETTY !!!!!
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http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

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favorite grammy moment ?

Glen Campbell’s great performance…

even with his ‘ailment’ & failing abilities,
(honor him while he can still appreciate it)
getting his LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD…
doing a rousing rendition of RHINESTONE COWBOY…
to the delight of a STANDING audience…
singing & dancing along…
(especially the ‘big names’ in the front rows)
and a totally classy PAUL McCARTNEY
fist pumping and mouthing the words
right along with Glenn… NICE !
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THE RIGHT THING, THE RIGHT TIME…
The adoration of Glen reminded me of the recent death
of comedian PATRICE O’NEAL.

He wasn’t my cup-of-tea, I didn’t see the brilliance in him,
or find his ‘philosophy of life’ do-able or desire-able,
but his friends in the business sure seemed to get it ,
and I’ll agree, he did kick ass on the Comedy Central Roast of
CHARLIE SHEEN !
Anyway, once Patrice died at 41,
everyone who had a ‘podium’ touted his brilliance…
including a 4 page post-humous spread in
ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE !
It would have been nice for him to have lived to see it.

GLEN GOT THE CHANCE PATRICE DIDN’T !
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another ‘recommend’ from the

DOLLAR MENU MASTER…

Taco Bell is running another 99 cent special !
(they usually run a month or 2)

the BEEFY CRUNCH BURRITO !!!

The Beefy Crunch Burrito consists of
seasoned ground beef, rice, nacho cheese,
reduced-fat sour cream and Flamin’ Hot Fritos.

IT’S A GOOD (cheap) MIX OF TACO BELL STAPLES…
but some might find it a little too hot…
Especially if you use the FIRE sauce !



I just discovered the
(BORDER SALSA) FIRE-ROASTED SAUCE
and it’s excellent on this burrito !
The FIRE makes it TOO hot & spicy for me !!!
But the other sauces are too ‘thin’… fire is ‘thicker’.

SO GET THEM WHILE YOU CAN…
Well… if you like them you can always pay the $1.49
regular price when the special is over.

THE SAME WAY THAT…
I was buying the $1 special Nacho ’salad’
and now regularly buy the large…
NACHO BELL GRANDE ($3.49)
(their plot worked on me this time)

(chips, meat, sour cream, tomato… I like it soggy)

I bought a couple the last 2 nites…
and I’m thinking I might just ride over again !
Satisfying but not overly filling !!!
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I’m still wondering why a male co-worker
was so adamant that the lead actor on
WHITE COLLAR, Matthew Bomer, was not gay !
(that’s why they call it ‘acting’)

BOMER? A little too close to ‘boner’ ?
and that’s how alot of that shit gets started !
(getting too close to a boner)




It didn’t surprise me… the show was okay,
I stopped watching after the first season though.
The stories a little too trite…
(even Al Mundy finally got a ‘pardon’ for his gov’t work)

ANYWAY… THIS GUY AT WORK QUIZZED ME
ON WHERE I COULD HAVE HEARD IT….

I didn’t memorize the where and what…
but him outing himself was on a news story
on the entertainment section of  iwon.com
(has a husband and 3 kids… I guess all around him knew
but respected his privacy, and let him ‘come out’ if-and-when)

I HAD TO CHECK AGAIN…
JUST TO MAKE SURE I HAD THE RIGHT GUY…



YEP… DAT’S DA GUY !!!

(much too ‘pretty’ to be straight)

addendum…

I have no problem with gay marriage being made law.
(It doesn’t take anything away from me)

WHY A GROUP IS SO ‘HOT’ TO JOIN
A FAILING (marriage) SYSTEM still surprises me !
(create a better one that works maybe?)

and for states that are reluctant ?

I haven’t seen any ‘notice-able’ mad dash of homosexuals
tie-ing up the marriage bureaus & banquet halls…
Some marry, some don’t, but you’d be hard-pressed
to even know any details, or locations,
of ANY wedding that has taken place !
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Comedian Jim Norton
on the red carpet for the Grammies
representing the TONITE SHOW
had what could be considered an awkward moment…

He trashed genius STEVE MARTIN
in his best selling book
and had the honor of speaking-interviewing Steve
at the event… Steve was great… funny, personable…
but when he found out the interviewer
was the guy that ‘trashed’ him in his book ?

TOTALLY CLASSY STEVE
remained funny, personable…
and dis-arming as far as Norton was concerned.
(I PERSONALLY THOUGHT NORTON OUT OF LINE)

NORTON SPENT A GOOD HALF-HOUR
ON THE OPIE & ANTHONY SHOW
ON SIRIUS-XM SATELLITE RADIO
(norton is 3rd mic most of the time)

BACK-PEDALLING ?

Well, explaining why he wrote what he wrote…
(love of peter sellers and the pink panther series)
and it sounded like Norton was expressing regret
for what he wrote…  he used examples of people
he would ‘righteously’ trash (for THEIR actions)
and admitted that Steve’s only transgression
was perhaps Steve’s own ‘honoring’ of Sellers
(or honored by walking in Peter’s shoes)
by appearing in a re-make of one of those
classic movies that should NEVER be re-made.

SO… BEFORE I WAS ANNOYED
AT NORTON’S WORDS….

NOW?

I CAN SEE WHAT A HYPOCRITIAL PUSSY
NORTON CAN BE !
(just kidding, or am I ?)

I didn’t agree with Norton’s assessment of Martin at the time,
and finally Norton has come around
and agrees with MY disagreement.

IT’S JUST NOT REASONABLE
TO SUM UP THE CAREER OF A COMEDY ICON
WHO SUCCESSFULLY CROSSED OVER TO MOVIES
ON ONE QUESTIONABLE CHOICE OF ROLE !

addendum…

Norton would never agree with my interpretation
of the events on the radio show.
He thinks he satisfactorily explained what happened,
and that his explanation absolves him
of the lion’s share of his ’shallow’ interpretation.

addendum-to-the-addendum?
Pre-movie career, Steve was the best…
hysterical, nothing like him before…
YOU HAD TO BE THERE !
After hitting the movies?
HE FOUND A NEW CAREER NICHE
and took his talent, successfully, in another direction.
TRUELY A ONE-OF-A-KIND !

When receiving the MARK TWAIN AWARD
at the KENNEDY CENTER in WASHINGTON, DC…
his speech included a quote from Twain
(searched for in his pockets, finding a crumpled piece of paper)

an admonishment from Twain…

“WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON’T NAME AN AWARD AFTER ME !”
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CELEBRITY SITING !!!

Hey… it’s the best I can come up with…

A quick shot of one of the

AMERICAN  PICKERS
(under glass)

His life-partner was off somewhere else.
Mikey-P spotted their entourage in Tennessee
filming one of their adventures.
(I have a picture of their truck too !!! woohoo)
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Call me an American PIcker too…

(well, my nose, anyway)

AND TO SUM UP

RIP Renfield ?

Pick a little, talk a little,

pick a little, talk a little,

Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot,

pick a little more …

(not obscure to me… do you know the lyric?)

((damn… this stuff just writes itself))

So

good-nite-ladies-

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

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