† RIP Renfield #640 – FIRST SNOW †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 640 – FIRST SNOW – NJ †

January 21, 2012

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SNOW ARRIVES (for a day) IN NEW JERSEY !

We finally got some snow (a few inches) as of January 21st,
about a month into winter.  It’s been more shirt-sleeve
weather than winter weather until now…
and the snow will be a memory by Monday…
(50 degrees, rain, and pleasant weather the rest of the week)

ON TOP OF THAT…
This (minor) snow event was very ‘OBLIGING’ !
Came the day after nice weather,
happened on a saturday (sleep in),
will be gone by monday…
un-seasonably nice weather returning for the week,
no school closings…
plowing & salting done minimally
(towns saved money)
for the non-commute to work day…

IF YOU HAD TO HAVE SNOW,
THIS IS THE WAY TO HAVE IT !

(I WILL be shoveling & clearing in the morning though)

OH WELL…

IT COULD HAVE BEEN ALOT WORSE
(and probably will be one day soon)
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R.I.P

Q

Desmond Wilkinson Llewelyn

Famous for playing “Q” in 17 of the James Bond films
made between 1963 & 1999 !
‘Q’ does have a name, “Major Geoffrey Boothroyd”.
He was a coal mining engineer,
spent 5 years as a POW after captured in France by Germans,
was almost a minister !

‘Q’ did not make Desmond Llewelyn rich—
the actor was merely paid ‘by the day’ for his few hours of work on-set,
and did not share in the money made by the films.
Never-the-less, Llewelyn was considered one of the franchise’s
major institutions & he was immensely popular among Bond fans.

OTHER CREDITS…
ChittyChittyBangBang, the Lavender Hill Mob,
brit tv series FOLLYFOOT…
(some other interesting drop-ins too)

Aged 85, Llewelyn was in a fatal car accident on 19 December 1999,
as he was returning home from a book signing event. Driving alone,
he was in a head-on crash with another vehicle.
Extreme measures were taken to try to save him…
doctor on scene, helicoptered to hospital,
he died shortly there-after…
(the other driver was seriously injured too)
ROGER MOORE SPOKE AT HIS FUNERAL
(they had 6 Bond movies together)

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WASN’T LAST WEEK’S

an EXCEPTIONAL issue ?

GET READY FOR THE
PIECE-of-SHIT
LETDOWN
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I’ll give it a go… as always…

but when I ’shine’, I ’shine’ !
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__________________________

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Even NOT being a football kinda guy,
I had to tune-in for the TIM TEBOW hype !
(broncos-patriots)



and it finally came to pass…

The odds of him coming this far
with the skill & talent he’s shown
is considered impossibly high…

WHY GOD LIKED HIM BETTER,
I DON’T KNOW…

but I thought of this analogy…

LIKE  HUSTLER-SHOWMAN-CHAUVANIST

BOBBY RIGGS…




TEBOW HAD BEEN PLAYING
AGAINST the ‘MARGARET COURTS’



HE FINALLY GOT TO PLAY AGAINST

‘BILLIE JEAN KING’

With expected results !

(both football & tennis)
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____________________________

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FREE SPEECH QUESTIONED

IN STUDENT’S ONLINE POSTS !!!

In Pennsylvania…
One principal shocked to see his photo online,
calling him a ‘hairy sex addict, and a ‘pervert’
who likes ‘hitting on students’ in his office.

North of Pittsburgh…
A MYSPACE profile of a principal
calling him a ‘big fag’, a ‘whore’, & a drug user.

In West Virginia…
a principal found that a girl had created
an online site to maliciously mock another girl
as a ’slut’ with herpes !

ALL WERE SUSPENDED
and
ALL SUED THE PRINCIPAL & SCHOOL DISTRICTS !

And so far… the argument that the first amendment
protects them from punishment for posting
from home computers has held up in higher courts !
(the aclu is involved of course)

THE U.S. SUPREME COURT NOW HAS TO RULE !
(nothing better to do)

Maybe someone should test-the-waters
and say the same things about the president online,
I’m sure the Secret Service would have a laugh over it !

Kid’s stuff ?   I don’t think so…

Minimally, the ‘kids’ are guilty of the crime-du-jour…

BULLYING !!!

They might be bullying an adult, the principal…
but it’s BULLY-ING all the same !
(the Rutgers student was ‘of age’… he was bullied)

IN ADDITION, I THINK THE PARENTS OF THOSE KIDS
HAVE A ‘SCREW LOOSE’ FOR DEFENDING,
AND NOT BEING EMBARASSED BY THE SLURS
ATTRIBUTED TO THEIR LITTLE ‘ANGELS’ !!!

The inmates have taken over the asylum !

(I’ve never been a fan of campus punishment, call the cops)
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AND SPEAKING OF CAMPUSES…

There were 2 colleges in Virginia
that made the news for NOT shutting down classes
for the Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday.

If some think it’s considered an ‘honor’ to close,
I think Doctor King would think otherwise…
I think he would be MORE ‘honored’ by people
who respect him to spend the day in class,
adding to their knowledge,
instead of at the mall, or celebrating, or even mourning !
IT SEEMS TO BE MORE OF THE WAY KING THOUGHT !

At a local, private liberal arts college
that doesn’t close for Labor Day or Veterans Day either,
a university spokesmand said that
” We believe that cancelling classes is not the only way,
or even necessarily the most meaningful way to demonstrate
‘respect & honor’ for Doctor King. ”
(they also have a busy week of MLK-related events planned)

ONE THING I DID LEARN IN COLLEGE
was to stop thinking like a high school kid…

In my day, individual days off were kept to a minimum.
When I questioned overlooking some (minor?) holidays,
a professor pointed out that the day off cost ME money.
If you break down the tuition you pay vs. individual class hours
(5 or 6 courses, meeting 2,3,4 times a week, for a MAX of 24 classes)
and then divide it into the amount you pay for tuition (plus the rest?),
for them to cancel classes for one day (a MONDAY?)…
actually is cheating you, and costing you hundreds of dollars !

This particular professor ‘made-up’ the class-time
by offering (mandatory,) either a Saturday or night-time,
make-up date for the time missed.

HE DIDN’T WANT TO CHEAT US.
HE NEEDED THE TIME TO COVER THE MATERIAL.
HIS EXPLANATION WAS GIVEN AFTER
THE GROANS FROM THE HIGH-SCHOOL-TYPE THINKERS !

If you know how much you’re paying for an individual class,
you’re more likely to show up for all of them,
instead of blowing-off a class to sleep,
and get your money’s worth !
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DRY, CRACKED HANDS ?

If you have ‘delicate’ skin like I have…
and the winter months are especially hard on them…
dry, paper-cut-type fingertip ’splits’… etc.

TRY SOAKING YOUR HANDS IN BRINE
TO TOUGHEN THEM UP, YOU PUSSY !

Once when taking a physical for a summer job
in a metal refinery… the doctor touched the palms
of my hands and commented….
” Done alot of hard work in your day, haven’t you?”
(uh… he was begin sarcastic about my ’soft’ hands)

Well.. I’m ready to share some of my winter ‘ablutions’…

First, I switch from any soap in the house
to a ‘creamy’ brand… like OLAY (as in…’oil-of’),
then I pack some hand lotion to use at work,
and my newest thing?
Some nice salesgirl (hey, I’m friendly)
offered some help…
I was told that EUCERIN makes a dry-skin-lotion
for your feet and to use it on your hands…
(it leaves you feeling your hands ‘coated’ even afterwards)
and
then she turned me on to something called

UDDERLY SMOOTH

It looks like a big jar filled with cold-cream !
I take a small scoop, put on way too much,
and sit there with my hand out-stretched
like a surgeon who just washed his hands,
and let it soak in… REAL GOOD !
After I get bored, I wipe off the excess.

AND THEN SHE GAVE ME A CHICK TRICK…
(not THAT kind)

Lay the stuff on heavy at bedtime
and wear white-cotton gloves
to keep from ’slopping-up’ your bedding !

Since I don’t own white-cotton-gloves…
an obvious alternate is SWEAT-SOCKS..
wear them like mittens.
But remember to use laundered socks,
you don’t want to get ATHLETE’S HAND !

and funny that it hit me today…

a sunny, windless, balmy, January day in NJ…
Last year it snowed (ALOT) the day after Xmas,
and the BIG melt didn’t come for 53 days !

ANYWAY…

In that snowy, rotten, snow-shoveling weather…
When you’re out there and the snow
soaks thru your final pair of gloves,
instead of toughing it out with frozen hands…
WHY NOT PUT ON A PAIR OF SWEAT SOCKS,
LIKE A PAIR OF MITTENS ?
For particularly severe weather,
put a plastic bag on first, then the socks…
the way you would do under your shoes.
Much easier to put socks over a bag than gloves !

This may be obvious, and done, by EVERYONE…

but, hey… I’M SLOW !!! Remember?
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WHAT THE FUCK ?

MORE Frodo ? (free speech)

front-page newspaper article…
news tribune (nj) Thurs. Jan 19, 2012

” WHERE FACEBOOK THREATS MEET FREE SPEECH ”

Seems a 17 year old girl had a Facebook ‘argument’
with a 20 year old male ADULT acquaintance…
(known to her in real life, not anonymous)
He ‘allegedly’ threatened to send someone to

‘ SLIT HER THROAT ! ‘

Her parents rightly called the cops
and had him arrrested !

(terroristic threats? bullying? I guess not)

He’s out on bail.
(and adamant that his rights are being trampled)

AUTHORITIES  CLAIM
IT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO PROSECUTE HIM
BECAUSE OF FIRST AMENDMENT CONCERNS !

huh ?

(let me re-read that)

HUH ?

YOU MEAN I CAN THREATEN SOMEONE
WITH IMPUNITY AS LONG AS I WRITE IT
AND PUT IT ONLINE ?

THAT’S INSANITY…
(and HAS to be incorrect)

TO PROVE IT’S NOT A 1st AMENDMENT   ISSUE,
I suggest doing the same with someone
like the president as the recipient…

I GUARANTEE YOU’LL BE VISITED
BY THE SECRET SERVICE,
HAVE A ‘SECRET’ FILE CREATED,
PROBABLY BE PUT ON A ‘WATCH’ LIST…
AND, YES, BE ARRESTED
(and tried successfully)

FREE  SPEECH  FOR THREATS ?

Who’s in charge of these things, morons ?

Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot…

addendum…

The ‘authorities’ spokesman said…
“we’re just starting the conversation of where we want
to go with such issues and how to handle them…”

UH… MY OPINION ?
Deal with them harshly & tell everyone to behave themselves !
Make believe we have a civilized society…
and have the recipient’s rights carry some weight too !
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the WISDOM of Ron Bennington…

Texas police shot a 15 year-old 8th grader to death.
The ‘kid’ punched someone in the face,
and then wouldn’t put down his
realistic looking pellet-gun during police warning !

A 15 year old is adult enough

for bullets, but NOT dicks ?

(ron always could reduce a ‘mountain’ to a few words)
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A NO-WIN SITUATION FOR THE COPS…

Had they showed restraint
and someone was shot (or killed),
or the shooter ’suicided’,
IT’S THEIR FAULT !
If the KID lives and goes on to harm another?
IT’S THEIR FAULT !
and
Kids younger than 15 HAVE been tried as adults !
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SO WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE ?

I’d have to defer to the police officers on-the-scene
who are nearest the business end
of the ‘weapon’ held by a ’shooter’ in a school !
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but even though against the gun THIS time…

BENNINGTON is a ‘PISTOL’…

(chicks & guns… ahhh)

Talking (exasperated) to his dysfuntional co-host, FEZ
(RON&FEZ xm-sirius satellite radio)…

BACKGROUND…

For years, Fez has been over-whelmed by his
psychological problems… (mostly fear & panic)…
(PLUS HE LIES TO HIS ‘SHRINK’ & FRIENDS)
His contributions to the show are fewer & fewer…
he sits there quietly for most of the show…
(unless having a pity party or crying-on-air)
and this has gone on for years…
Needless to say.. RON is ready to ’snap’ sometimes…
but maintains loyalty to his radio partner.
FEZ will contribute… but usually only when
the talk turns to HIS problems, or gay concerns.
FEZ ‘LOCKS UP’, CRIES, or SITS QUIETLY !
It may have something to do with his repressed sexuality…
(SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS?)
HE HAS A SECRET (that he won’t reveal)
(Psst… HE THINKS HE’S GAY !)
He’s also a virgin to both sex & dating…
to both women & men…
(still waiting for that first ‘magical’ kiss)
HE THINKS HE WANTS TO TAKE THE JUMP,
BUT DOESN’T KNOW HOW !
(and he’s getting older & running out of time… 50-ish)
EXTRA difficult for him since it comes across as him
looking for a partner way over his head !
(youth and looks wise)
One of those people who are terrified of die-ing,
but their lives leave no reason to hang around !
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KEEP READING… KEEP READING…

(that was just the background)

RON ASKS FEZ…

” Do you think you’d be happier as a woman ? “

” CHAZ BONO THIS SHIT ? “

FEZ REPLIES…

” Noooo, I don’t think that’s for me…”

and after a little ball-busting banter,

RON SAYS…

” HOW ABOUT JUST GETTING THE TITS DONE,
TRY ‘EM OUT…
AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT ? “

Maybe you HAD-TO-BE-THERE…

but the dead-pan, serious delivery,

and the CONTINUED ball busting,

was hilarious !
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As long as I’m on the topic of satellite radio…
MikeyP sent me this link…
with the instruction… READ THE T-SHIRT
(of the guy being arrested)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIyWt16e8oo

So that’s their demographics !!!!

IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE !
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AND THEN THERE’S…

EAST  SIDE  DAVE

(from the golden days of RON & FEZ)
((friend of mine, got me mentions, we still email))
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Very funny, talented guy… made for radio

(he’s a ‘ginger’)

He’ll be REALLY BIG one of these days !

Satellite radio too cheap… he was willing to work
for a fraction of what he was worth…
So he left and has small projects, good ones,
that pay the bills (hopefully he ‘hits’ soon).

ANYWAY…

He does a V-BLOG SHOW

(usually wed. nites at 7pm?… shows are archived)
(watch them anytime you care to)

http://www.eastsidedavecountry.com/happytimes
(his short video vignettes are hilarious)

THE DAVEY MAC (McDonald) SPORTS SHOW !
(sat. nites 7-9 pm – xm-sirius satellite radio)
THE ONLY X-RATED SPORTS SHOW IN THE WORLD !

Starring - EAST SIDE DAVE
& an ‘alcoholic’ cast of characters !

I think they do occasionally mention sports,
but the show is all over the place,
very entertaining… I recommend it….
video blog shows run about an hour…
(not PC, expect profanity)
EXPECT HUMOR WITH YOUR SPORTS…
(it fills a niche no one else has)
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AS YOU CAN TELL,
I’M ‘HURTING’ FOR MATERIAL THIS WEEK…
I’m making do,  the best I can !

(I  get  paid  by  the  word)
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new jersey update…

GAS was down to $2.97
it’s back up to $3.25 (or more) a gallon !

AND A CARTON OF CIGARETTES ?
over $78 !!!

How can a kid become a smoker
at prices like those ?
If there were part-time jobs,
they’d be working almost exclusively for ’smokes’ !

How can a kid afford cigarettes
without being a thief ?

At prices like those….
You REALLY want to be a smoker !
You have a dedication, a calling !

addendum…
Yeah, yeah.. I don’t get it…
I’m a life-long non-smoker !
(well, tobacco anyway… and nothing else for decades)

OH YEAH…

AND IT SNOWED !  FIRST SNOW of the SEASON…
A few inches, cold-blustery day… (Jan.21)
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Let me see…

(just counting the number of words this week)

YEP… I CAN AFFORD HALF-A-TANK OF GAS !

I don’t know how it happened,
but I (more than) filled an issue of RIP
with plenty more to say…

much more already written !
(good thing it’s generic, and will ‘keep’)

OKAY…

I’VE REACHED THE WORD LIMIT…
(character limit?)

GOOD-Ni…

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<
(or not, I really don’t care)

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