† RIP Renfield #639 – MLK, Jr. ISSUE †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 639 –   MLK, Jr. ISSUE  †

January 14, 2012

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Still shirt-sleeve weather in New Jersey

as of January 12th !!!

(shirt-over-t-shirt plenty for warmest part of day)

Now comes Friday the 13th !

Overcast, a little rainy, much cooler,
even a tiny bit of icy-haily snow…

BUT WHAT DO I CARE ?

I HAVE THE DAY OFF FROM WORK !

Sleep hasn’t come easy lately,
and when it has, I haven’t gotten enough…
but there was no reason to get up early Friday…

UNTIL !!!

Firstly, I have the cats trained to NOT enter
the room in which I hang out, or sleep.
It amazes people how they’ll sit OUTSIDE
my door and just gaze in.
So, it’s about 7:30am… and I hear,
right next to my head… ME-OWWWW !!!
I chase the cat out, but if it were a work-day,
I would have thanked the cat for waking me !

THE CAT WILL NOT EAT UNLESS
I WALK HER OVER TO THE FILLED BOWL !
(she needs to be escorted to the ‘dinner-table’)

So she must have gotten impatient, or very hungry,
waiting for me to get out of bed !
(I have to remember to close that door on days off)
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R.I.P

HARRY  MORGAN

Harry’s was around for a long time…
Good at what he did,  was part of an elite group
of actors who ALWAYS had work,
and appeared everywhere…
(ala Willian Schallert & Betty White)

I first remember him as the ‘comic relief’
on DECEMBER BRIDE…
which led to the spinoff
PETE & GLADYS
then BILL GANNON on DRAGNET
AMOS COOGAN on HEC RAMSEY
and, of course…
SHERMAN T. POTTER on MASH

Well respected, he worked with the BIG ones !
DID TONS OF MOVIES !

Harry is in John Wayne’s ’swan-song’

THE  SHOOTIST
(one of my personal fav’s, low budget, but all ‘Duke’)
Had many ‘old’ cowboy actors saying good-bye to ‘the Duke’.

TRIVIA – the pic of Colonel Potter’s wife, Mildred,
on his desk was really his wife Eileen,
and BILL GANNON’S wife was named Eileen.

Eileen died.. he re-married in 1986.
The marriage lasted until his death.

DIDN’T KNOW HE HAD IT IN HIM ?
(according to wikipedia)

In July 1997, Morgan was charged with abusing his wife
after a beating left her with injuries to her eye, foot, and arm.
Prosecutors dropped the charges after the
82-year-old actor completed a six-month
domestic violence counseling program.

WHO KNEW?

He seemed such a gentle soul !
(looks like it took him 82 years to build-up a head-of-steam)



One more thing Re: MASH

Klinger as a cross-dressing male soldier?
WOULD THAT PASS THE PC TEST IF MADE TODAY ?
The character made-it-out of the dress eventually
and got ‘respect’ as a ‘normal’…
BUT MAN IN A DRESS WAS ALL FOR LAUGHS !
(and got the ‘dress-ee’ share of insults, like a clown)
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BLOWIN’ SMOKE ?

Get Nuremberg ready…

The WORST abuse to a wartime ENEMY
is to piss on their DEAD corpses !

IT’S AMONG THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO IN WAR !

Admittedly it isn’t pretty…

BUT IN THIS CONFLICT ?

Uh… this is getting ‘be-heading-type’ attention !
(and the Taliban DOES follow rules of war)

It should have been handled in-house…
military-type punishment,
and NOT over-the-top for the world stage !
In the scheme of WAR… you know ?… kill or be killed ?
It’s a pimple on the ass of the war !!!

Seems to me it’s only being made the story it is,
to take attention away from somthing else…

LET THE PUBLIC OUT-RAGE OVER THIS,
WE’LL STEER THEM TO SOMETHING
THEY CAN GET BEHIND
INSTEAD OF SOMETHING THAT MATTERS !

IT’S ALL BULL-SHIT !

ADDENDUM…

My theory of warfare isn’t to fight a ‘civilized’ war
(like the British in the Revolutionary War – they lost)
against barbarians !  You let THEM set the level
and you SINK to whatever level (or worse)
they are throwing at you !!!
ADVERTISE IT AS ‘WAR ACTION’
(we fight to win, not be ‘gentlemen’)
That way they can’t cry about YOUR behavior !
(the ill-equipped american revolutionaries didn’t fight
as ‘civilized’ as the British – the americans won)
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Occasionally, I take a quote
from my desktop’s QUOTE OF THE DAY…
Today, I ‘borrowed’ all three !

“It only takes 20 years for a liberal
to become a conservative
without changing a single idea.”
– Robert Anton Wilson

“Under democracy one party always
devotes its chief energies
to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -
and both commonlysucceed, and are right.”
– H. L. Mencken

“Talking much about oneself
can also be a means to conceal oneself.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
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I’d kinda like to think that last one

is something people could say about me !
-Renfield
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http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/
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another sad instance of a kid

committing suicide…

(high school isn’t the world, it’s only a short time)
A family rep is blaming BULLYING !
I can understand it’s effect on an immature mind…
BUT
To claim bullying, to know about it,
and go on tv and blame TEXTING ?

C’mon… take the phone away from the kid,
or get her a basic model, a less-than-smart phone,
that doesn’t allow texting !

She had to literally LOOK FOR & FIND that kind of bullying !
IT WAS AVOID-ABLE !
In-person, in school, or the real world,
where you can’t avoid it is one thing…
LIKE SPAM, ANNOYING TEXTS
CAN BE IGNORED !!!

SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND !!!
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FOR  THE  RECORD…

I DO have a disclaimer at the top of each RIP.
I DO play fast & loose with the ‘truth’
and the ‘telling-of-a-story’…

I claim the JACKSON BROWNE defense…

from THE LATE SHOW

” No one ever talks about their feelings anyway,
without dressing them in dreams & laughter,
I guess it’s just to painful otherwise…”

SO WHEN I TELL A STORY,
LIKE THE ‘WINNERS’ write the ‘HISTORY’…
I CAN embelish here & there
to make the ’story’ a bit more entertaining…
and ME more of a ‘cool dude’
instead of an ‘Al Roker’ (nee DICK) !

I’ve had co-workers confront me with…
” THAT’S NOT THE WAY IT HAPPENED ! “

and they don’t accept it when I say…
” YES, I KNOW “
(they repeat, I repeat)
My final response ?

” WRITE YOUR OWN STORY ! ”
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The above was brought to you by the legal team of

JACOBY & RENFIELD

in case RIP Renfield needs ‘plause-able deniability’ one day !
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VASECTOMY ?

Fine if you think you’re done making babies !

Someone I know was being ‘talked-into’
the procedure by his wife…
He wasn’t thrilled by the idea, but que sera sera…

THE STANDARD ANSWER ?

It takes the pressure (and health aspects) of birth control
away from the woman & gives it to the man.
HEALTH REASONS & FAIRNESS !

But when you analyze OTHER factors…

FOR THE WOMAN ?

It puts a collar on your man !
YOUR kids won’t have any half-sibling strangers
that could cost child-support or estate monies !
(and your husband ‘connected’ to another woman for life)
If he’s a ‘dog’ and you accept that? No surprises !

IF your marriage falls apart…  HE won’t be having
any more kids with his new younger, hotter bride !
The new bride will have to do without !
If there are any complications from the procedure,
they’re on HIM, not HER !   (both are punished)

FOR THE MAN ?

NO ‘rubbers’, WE hate ‘rubbers’ !
(hmmm… is there enough DNA to identify you?)

If the guy is a ‘player’, it kinda ‘green-lights’ him
to go ‘get-um’… why not?
He’s not going to get them pregnant !
BUT IF HE’S NOT A ‘PLAYER’
AND NEEDS A VASECTOMY…
It must means he’s getting ‘PLENTY’ of action at home !
AND if YOU are getting that much
after several years of marriage
and a couple of kids…
I WANT TO SHAKE YOUR (freshly washed) HAND !

It would make more sense to just wait-it-out…
Probably only a few years until you’ll be
scratching-your-head wondering why
you got the damn procedure
since now your sex life is nearly non-existant !

You know.. about the time the woman
starts resenting YOUR wonderful life
while she’s one of the downtrodden !
(must be in ‘gene-memory’)

OH WELL… LIKE I SAID BEFORE…

QUE SERA SERA

OR ELSE PERHAPS YOU’LL START TO SPEND
ALOT OF TIME AT THE ‘SHOOTING RANGE’ !!!

ps – for the record…

MY ‘gun’ is loaded & doesn’t shoot ‘blanks’ !
I waited the few years…
But the ‘games, like ‘dirty’ talk from my wife,
just doesn’t turn me on…
(you asshole, you motherfucker, you son-of-a-bitch, etc)
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AS I’M PULLING UP TO THE CURB
AT THIS LARGE MEDICAL FACILITY,

A workman comes out of the door,
pushing a horizontal-hand-truck,
that’s loaded with (bright) blue zippered bags.

As he passes me, our eyes lock…

AND I PROCEED TO…

LOWER MY HEAD & ‘BLESS’ MYSELF !
(we both had a good laugh)

It looked as if he were removing the ‘failures’
out of the medical building in body bags !

(he was from a paper-shredding service)
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Okay, as you must have realized
from the material I’ve included this week
that I’m reaching down to…

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

Which is also the name of a ‘neighborhood’ bar
(tried to go upscale recently, may have lost liquor license)
in East Rutherford I used to visit when I lived
in Rutherford (proper), the west end.

NO bars in Rutherford, you had to cross the
railroad tracks on the main business district street
to change towns and find a bar.
As I wrote some notes (on scrap paper) for this item…
I remembered that THIS Bottom-of-the-Barrel…
(as opposed to the one in UNION CITY, NJ)
used to be frequently by one former Yankee…

BILLY  MARTIN

(hey, the guy liked a drink once-in-a-while)

Within minutes I’m surfing tv channels…
(one-by-one)
and I stop long enough to hear the name
BILLY MARTIN – dropped twice in OCEAN’S 13
(meaning – give the ‘banker’ a 2nd chance to make it right)

Some coincidence?

I stay with it just long enough so that when I continue to ’surf’
I get to the YES (yankee) CHANNEL
and see the final minute of a YANKEE-OGRAPHY
(who knew they had such things?)
the subject? BILLY MARTIN… again !!!
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GEEZ… my powers were on fire…

and NO, they still don’t translate to the lottery !
BILLY MARTIN must have been in the ‘ether’
and I just picked up on it earlier than the broadcasts.
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ANYWAY…

BACK TO THE BOTTOM-OF-THE-BARREL

of RIP Renfield items…

Big news at CASA de RENFIELD…

WE GOT A NEW TOILET !!!

The old toilet, in the ‘good’ bathroom, was pretty new.
(maybe 15 years since we re-did that bathroom)

NEVER buy a ‘fancy’ name brand,
if you ever need repair or parts, it’s not cheap !
(and you don’t just pick-up parts at Home Depot)

ANYWAY… a few years back, the water kept running
long after you flushed… (it would go all nite or day)
I changed the (odd-ball) guts & fiddled with adjusting
for weeks before it operated properly.

IT DIDN’T LAST !
(even after getting a plumber involved)

I wanted to get a new toilet, or at least have my
fix-it project wife put it on the list…
(she had other fish to fry)
The interim solution (that worked fine for me?)
was to hold the flush handle down for a 5 count.

I never had a problem.

WELL I GUESS IT MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE LIST !
(my wife claimed the 5 count wasn’t working for her)

I come home from work one day
and there is a new toilet being installed !
A less water-using, power-flushing, quick tank-filling…

GERBER
(even has a smaller footprint)

(they call it a super-toilet)

THE ONLY PROBLEM ?

GETTING USED TO A NEW TOILET SEAT !

I should have had him swap the ‘new one’ for the ‘old one’ !

But, DON’T WORRY….

I’ll ADAPT FOR THE SHORT SEATING PERIOD !
(I’m not a reader, I do my ‘business’ and get out)

addendum…

speaking of ‘fancy’ toilets…
I’ll never forget the time (years ago)
that Howard Stern’s wife re-did their bathroom.
This makes sense… but must cost plenty…
(walls have to be opened)
The exhaust fan was located INSIDE,
under the rim of the toilet !
Sucking the smell right from your ass,
out of the exhaust vent, keeping the room ’sweet’ smelling !
I had to have heard this more than 15 years ago…
(gave up on Stern by ‘94… he turned into what he joked about)

I’VE YET TO SEE A TOILET OF THIS TYPE
ANYPLACE IN MY LOW-RENT LIFE !
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speaking of my ‘almost’ friend

SUSAN  LUCKEY

I was ‘lazing-away’ and was thinking how much
I would like to add a stone from HER yard
to my collection of ’special’ stones…

and then a crazy thought hit me…
Wouldn’t it be amazing if one day
I was friends enough with her to
get a lock of her hair !
(a passing thought, never occurred to me before)

I take my daughter on an ‘ice-cream-run’
later that night and out of nowhere…
she says…
” You ever think of asking for
a lock of her hair ? ?

WHOA !!!
A thought Sooz never had before…
one I had an hour earlier…
SHE SAID I MUST HAVE BEEN
THINKING TOO ‘LOUD’ AGAIN !
(I’ve been known to)

addendum…
I’ve never discouraged my kids, from an early age
to believe in forms of ESP.
At least one is a believer.
(especially since it seems to ‘follow’ us)
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I DON’T LIKE MONDAYS



Brenda Ann Spencer (apr3,1962)

is the loon that was convicted for the murders
that ‘inspired’ the song.  For some reason,
I thought her ‘crime’ was perpetrated in England.
Nope… San Diego, California ! (Jan29,1979)
She shot from her home to the school across the street,
killed 2, injured 9, and showed no remorse.

HER EXPLANATION?
“I don’t like Mondays, this livens up the day.”
The song was a number 1 single for 4 weeks in mid-79 !
(horrible crime, great song)



When asked Spencer replied,
“I just did it for the fun of it. I don’t like Mondays.
This livens up the day. I have to go now. I shot a pig [policeman].
I think and I want to shoot more. I’m having too much fun [to surrender].
She also said, “I had no reason for it, and it was just a lot of fun,”
“It was just like shooting ducks in a pond,” and,
“[The children] looked like a herd of cows standing around;
it was really easy pickings.” At the time of the shootings,
Spencer was 16 years old, but tried as an adult !
SHE HINTED & THREATENED FOR MONTHS BEFORE !

She pleaded guilty to 2 counts of murder
and assault with a deadly weapon.
Sentenced to 25 years to life…
The first time she came up for parole, 1993,
she did not succeed.. nor did she succeed
the next 4 times, and is still incarcerated.
The last parole hearing was in 2009,
her next chance at parole will be in 2019 !
Which would make her 57 years old at her next chance,
AND she will have spent over 40 years in prison !

SHE’S BEEN WORKING ON A NEW SONG…

I DON’T LIKE PRISON !
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getting your mind out of THE TOILET ?

NOT QUITE YET !

Everyone may already have one of these,
but since I don’t get out much…

IT’S NEW TO ME !

One feature of the ‘new’ toilet (seat)
I haven’t mentioned yet for all you
‘GERM-O-PHOBICS’ or ‘CLEAN-a-HOLICS’…

THE REMOVE-ABLE (for CLEANING) TOILET SEAT !
No need to ‘fight’ to clean all the cracks & crevices !

Instead of the standard 2 plastic bolts
holding the toilet seat in place…
The ‘bolts’ are replaced with others,
more of a JAMES BOND-IAN DEVICE !
(from… from Russia with Love)

For the ‘owner’, rotate the ‘locks’ 90 degrees.
Otherwise, the gas canister goes off…

For the toilet seat…

Rotate the top of the ‘bolts’ 90 degrees,
it disconnects the ‘locking’ mechanism,
and allows the  toilet seat to be lifted off
for easy cleaning of hard-to-get-to spots !

HEY… IT MIGHT EVEN FIT INTO YOUR
DISHWASHER FOR A REALLY GOOD CLEAN !
(yuck)
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I almost got to see a grown-man cry…

ME !!!

I ‘assemble’ RIP Renfield with AOL 8.0 using WindowsXP…
(don’t ask)

While assembling… I change things, add things,
format with colors and pics…
and it magically turns into the final product !

THEN I EMAIL IT TO MYSELF
AND SAVE IT (many times & places)
I BELIEVE IN BACK-UPS !

Just before getting to this (closing) item…
I GOT BOOTED OFF-LINE !
Luckily, I was given the option of saving my work…
Yeah… Luckey !
I get back online & try to open the file ?
EFFIN’ TOO BIG, WON’T OPEN !

Before the tears…

I had the ‘brain-storm’ to try and open the file
from www.AOL.com and luckily it opened…
I was able to cut-and-paste it back to AOL 8
sans pics.. and had to cut-and-paste ALL of them
back to their locations in the issue !

MUCH EASIER THAN RE-CREATING
(it would never be the same twice)

So feeling lucky… I’m gone !
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

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