† RIP Renfield #636 – HAPPY NEW YEAR †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 636 – HAPPY NEW YEAR †

December 26-31, 2011-2012

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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVVY-BODDY !!!

2012

Should ‘auld-acquaintance’ and all that !!!

Weather-wise, the past year was a stinker !
Health-wise, it’s been a stinker !
Job-wise, it’s been a stinker !
Lottery-wise, it’s been a stinker !
Economy-wise, the past year was a stinker !
Politically, the past year was a stinker !
War? It’s only now letting up !

BUT DOESN’T MY PONY-TAIL LOOK NICE !

We can ONLY go up from here…

2012 HAS to be an improvement !

(unless the Mayans are right of course)

((BUT EVEN THAT WOULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT))

HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN !!!
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R.I.P

Eugene Shoemaker

Considered a father of planetary science,
Eugene Shoemaker,was one of three people
who discovered the Shoemaker-Levy 9 comet.
He’s also the only person to be buried on the moon.
Some of Shoemaker’s remains were carried to the moon
on the Lunar Prospector in 1999 via a polycarbonate capsule
carried in a vacuum-sealed, flight-tested aluminium sleeve.

one thing?

Wasn’t Col. Wm. ‘Hawk’ Hawkins from Space Cowboys
also ‘buried’ on the moon?
(not buried, but arrived live, stayed dead there)

and another thing…
I had to find his first name by googling,
IMDB.com was happy to leave it as HAWK HAWKINS !
(if it’s not Susan Luckey, I don’t submit corrections)
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What has kept me interested enough
to keep RIP Renfield going for 13 years ?

the word PROLIFIC comes to mind !
(this nice, LONG issue should keep you busy)
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WHAT’S MY MOTIVATION, MAN ?
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For one thing…

IT’S MY CREATIVE OUTLET !
For another, I felt my mind slipping away
from lack of challenging, or fullfilling work !
I NEEDED SOMETHING TO KEEP
THE NEURONS FIRING !
And if they don’t ?
If you read between the ‘lines’ in RIP…
My thoughts and memories are scattered
through-out, like a journal !
(it’s my spare memory)
Like UNK in Vonnegut’s
SIRENS OF TITAN,
I might need to re-install some memory one day !

DO I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ?
DO I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE ?
IS IT COOL TO SPEAK TO THE WORLD
FROM MY HOME ?

SURE !!!

But ‘bottom-line’,
if an individual or the entire world ’shits’ on me,

FUCK ‘EM !!!

I’ve created my own kingdom,
my own world, my own universe !!!

and here I can hide, er,

I MEAN RULE !!!

addendum…

“  I was a victim of a series of accidents,
as are we all.. ”
-  Al Stewart (Modern Times) & Kurt Vonnegut
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conundrum ?

Why is it presented as such a GOOD thing
when citizens of OTHER countries
take to the streets ?
(egypt, libya, syria, now russia)

AND WHEN IT HAPPENS IN THE USA ?

The ‘people-in-the-streets’ get shit on ?

Do they have to change the name to
OCCUPY  RUSSIA
to make it seem seedy & bother-some ?

RUSSIA SHOULD ASK OUR
MAYORS  & MEDIA FOR POINTERS !
(oops.. I forgot , WE’RE then land-of-the-free)
((unless it’s inconvenient, or makes a mess))
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governor or douche ?

http://soundcloud.com/aspirinhammer/ron-and-fez-blowhard-jingle

If he had a solution, he left it out of this news conference…
Maybe you shouldn’t be able to cash-out un-used sick-leave,
but his words this time came out as ‘bluster’…

Governor Christie of New Jersey
was on the news the other day.
(’Preening’ for the ’stupid’voters)

Seems he’s up-in-arms about state workers
who retire with tons of un-used, accumulated
vacation time and sick leave…
and get paid.. lump sum… for the un-used time !

” IF YOU’RE NOT SICK, YOU SHOULDN’T GET PAID ! ”

Duh…

Sounds good for the voters I suppose,
sounds like a scam against the state…

BUT…

If I was told that I would LOSE earned
vacation & sick time…
I WOULD USE THAT TIME
BEFORE THE YEAR WAS UP !
I’m sure there would be lots of sick people
come December, the deadline…
and lots more vacations or stay-cations !

ANOTHER THING THE GOVERNOR
ISN’T TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION ?

To maintain the same coverage,
those vacationing-sick workers
will have to be replaced by over-time people !
(NOT ALL, BUT SOME, OR MOST)

CHRISTIE MAY PRESENT RE-CLAIMING
EARNED TIME-OFF AS A WIN FOR THE STATE,
but it’s short-sighted to think that,
even though you may not pay the lump sum,
they’ll be paying it off anyway…
JUST SPREAD OVER THE YEARS !

Guaranteed ALL vacation time will be used !
Guaranteed that coming to work ’sick’
will be a thing of the past !
(might as well use it… you’re gonna lose it)

THE STATE JUST REALLY GOT SCREWED
WHEN THE ECONOMY TURNED BAD,
AND ONE SOLUTION THAT WOULD LESSEN
PENSIONS IF YOU DIDN’T GET OUT QUICK,
or pared city-jobs that forced-out people
with lots of un-used ‘time’ saved up…
MADE WAY FOR A LARGE EXODUS TO RETIREMENT,
THAT COST THE TOWNS MORE
THAN KEEPING THINGS ‘AS-IS’ (as-was) !

THE REAL WAY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM
IS TO NOT GIVE THE ‘LEAVE’ TO THE EMPLOYEES…
eliminate it and you eliminate ‘this’ problem !
AND TO GET THE PROGRAM OFF TO A GOOD START?
I suggest starting from the TOP down…
A good example would be for all the politicians,
and their relatives in cushy state jobs
to give back THEIR leave with no remuneration !

LET THE UPPER-ECHELON TAKE THE HIT !!!


IF THEY’RE WORRIED THAT THE CALIBER
OF ELECTED PUBLIC SERVANT
WILL GO DOWN…

DON’T WORRY…
IT CAN’T GET ANY WORSE !
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conundrum…

CAN A JOKE EVER BE RACIAL

WITHOUT BEING RACIST ?

I got called-out for a racist joke in a chat room…

HOW MANY MEXICANS DOES IT TAKE
TO CHANGE A LIGHT-BULB ?

answer: just JUAN

I was quickly defended by others
who called it ‘word-play’…
and I had no ‘evil’ intent… it’s not insulting…
(even got an apology from the accuser)

BUT IN THIS PC WORLD OF OURS…
CAN YOU BE RACIAL WITHOUT BEING RACIST ?
I’m told it’s not words, or intent, but perception…
HOW CAN YOU PREPARE FOR THAT ?
The only way I see ?
IGNORE A PERSON’S HERITAGE
(but isn’t that insulting too?)
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I was doing one of my favorite things…

GOOGLING  MYSELF

and happened to find out that
I’ve been immortalized in literature !!!
(and not just in Dracula)



The book follows the story of ex-con Gary Renfield and Rosie,
a woman returning home from America for the first time in years.
Played out against a background of growing malevolence
and an endless downpour, Rain Dogs builds to an inevitable climax
for two people confronting evil in their lives.
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CAN HE DO THAT ?
HAVE I BEEN LIBEL-ED ?

I’d probably have to buy & read the book to find out
and I’m not about to do that !
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YOUR HEART HAS TO GO OUT
TO THE FAMILY OF THAT GAY RUTGER’S KID
WHO KILLED HIMSELF AFTER A NASTY PRANK
BY HIS ‘INSENSITIVE’ ROOM-MATE…

BUT

THEY ARE OUT TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE
OF THE ROOM-MATE
AND CHARGE HIM WITH EVERYTHING
UNDER-THE-SUN AND MAKE SURE
HE DOES CONSIDERABLE JAIL TIME !

If Rutgers had a preference choice
when assigning dorm room-mates,
to make it a better experience for all,
instead of a forced lesson in tolerance,
PERHAPS THE KID IS STILL ALIVE !

To defend Rutgers…

Only under rare circumstances
would I expect them to report ANYTHING
to the parents of a 18+ year old student.
THEY AREN’T MINOR CHILDREN !
(and they didn’t see this as rising to the occasion).
((who could know how un-stable the kid was?))

THAT  SAID…

I’m not ‘comfortable’ with the way
the prosecution is going.
If the ‘kid’ doesn’t kill himself,
reports the ‘peeping-tom’ to the cops,
the punishement would most likely be
community service… oh, and expulsion !
PUSHED HIM TOO FAR?
WHAT’S TOO FAR?
It’s not reasonable for the perp to realize
his actions would lead to a suicide.
ULTIMATELY, THE JUMPER IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR HIS ACTIONS !!! (call the cops?)
The ’straw-that-broke-the-camel’s-back?
How can you know of ALL the ’straws’ that came first ?

YOU GOT A COUPLE OF IMMATURE
‘NEW’-ADULTS ‘GRAB-ASS-ING’,
BUSTING BALLS, AWAY FROM HOME,
AND READY TO HOWL !

A prank gone badly, a tragedy all-around,
but the suicide kid must have been
carrying around alot of ’shit’ from a lifetime
that had nothing to do with the other a-hole !

I MOSTLY BLAME RUTGERS
(my alma mater)
THEY DIDN’T LEARN SINCE MY DAYS THERE !
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ON A HAPPIER NOTE…

Me, RIP Renfield, was featured on

the FORGOTTEN HITS web-site…

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/


Actually,  I was THE column for the day…

of the 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS,

I was 11 1/2 !!! AND EXCLUSIVE !!!

GO TAKE A LOOK

(you might make it a daily stop, like I do)

Kent ran the JIMMY BOYD RIP tribute
during his Christmas themed week !
(threw me a bone, great access to his people)
((HEY, THEY MAY LIKE ME & HANG AROUND))

Kinda nice of Kent,
considering his HUGE readership
of celebs, industry people, and regular folk !

Like I’ve said before, FORGOTTEN HITS is the REAL DEAL…
(as opposed to THIS piece of shit)
I’ve always appreciated him treating me like a colleague !
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I might just be stupid, or ’sheltered’,
but I have a ‘new’ definition…

SUICIDE  DOORS

Suicide doors refer to car doors that open in middle -
hinges are at the back and the front of the door opens.
Many cars before WWII had them & are now popular conversions.



Suicide doors are far more dangerous than normal doors.

IE.. if you thought the door not properly closed
and opened the ‘back’ (’scooping’ the wind) door
while in motion to re-close it, the wind could ‘whip’ the door open
with great force and speed.  If you didn’t let go
quickly enough, you could be pulled out of the car !
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The other day I caught myself using the ‘odd’ word…

JALOPY

I realized I that I knew exactly what it was,
and have probably used it and heard it over the years,
but had no idea where the word came from…

WELL… No one is sure !

(best answer I found)

jalopy, n. [juh-lop-ee, j?-lop-e]

A lovely word to describe an old, run-down automobile,
this word first appeared in the United States in the 1920’s.
Some early variants were gillopy, jaloppi, and jaloupy.
Researchers have not been able to determine the precise origins
of this word, but a theory is that it is derived from a
non-Spanish pronunciation of Jalapa, Mexico.
It seems that, during the 1920’s, many decrepit automobiles
were shipped from New Orleans to scrapyards in Jalapa.
The theory is that some of the dock hands or crew members
who did not speak English began naming these broken-down autos
after their destination, the name eventually morphed into jalopy.

AS GOOD AS ANY ANSWER, I SUPPOSE…
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Something that always puzzled me

and I’ve commented on before…

WHERE DO OLD PEOPLE COME FROM ?

Is it just a tv, or movie, myth?
How does the inside of someone’s head
reflect the ‘attitudes’ of someone
who never experienced
the 1960’s, or 1970’s, or 1980’s ?
(if you were 15 years old in 1965, you are 61 years old)
Like people YOUR age, that behave like YOUR parents !



I constantly see, and run into, older people
(not that much older than me)
who are more like my parents, or grandparents,
than my contemporaries !
They seemed ‘baffled’ by ordinary things because of their age !
(music, technology, soccer mom thinking, etc)

A MOVIE EXAMPLE…

INDEPENDENCE DAY (ID4)

Judd Hirsch plays the old, stereotypical, jewish dad
to the Jeff Goldblum character.
At a point in the movie, during a conversation
with his ‘ex’ daughter-in-law, MARGERET COLIN…
(probably playing 35 years old at the most),
JUDD  quotes  JOHN LENNON
The 35 year old Colin shockingly looks at him with wonder…
HOW IS THE OLD MAN CONVERSANT
ABOUT JOHN LENNON ?

Uh.. because HE was there?
(and as a contemporary)

Lennon is more of the old guy’s generation,
than of the young woman !
She only knows of Lennon historically,
Judd lived thru the experience… and was the right age !
(in real life 30 years old in ‘65.. about right for the movie)
HE SHOULD KNOW PLENTY ABOUT LENNON !

A BETTER question would be…

How can a 70 year old NOT be able to quote Lennon?
Lennon would have been 80 on his last birthday
I would IMAGINE (<–me clever) people aged
10 years over-and-under COULDN’T have avoided
knowing ALOT about him, his lyrics, his general fame !
(ID4 done 17 years ago put Judd & him within range)

SHOWS, and LIFE, are filled with such nonsense !

After 70 years old… (born 1940 & later)…
unless it’s a medical problem,
shouldn’t people, in general, be closer to…

GEORGE CARLIN than GRANDMA MOSES ?
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I’ve used this story before…

but the un-believe-ability of it
made it a crowd pleaser
and someone recently requested it…
(perfect for Reader’s Digest, but they declined)

I was home sick, as was my daughter, some years back.
We decided that we would really like some soup.
Campbell’s canned soup or Lipton (chicken) packets
would be perfect… (chicken with rice or stars… hmmm)
IT WOULD HIT THE SPOT & EASE OUR PAIN !

I went to the kitchen cupboard and pulled out
can-after-can of CHICKEN NOODLE soup…
totally un-acceptable… I had to ’search’ cans
for months to find one that WASN’T chicken NOODLE !
(my wife had probably loaded up at a great sale)

ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH !

I got a box and took EVERY can of chicken noodle
out of the cupboard so I wouldn’t ‘trip’ over them
every time I wanted soup !
I then moved the box to the bottom of the basement stairs.
THEY WOULD GET IN MY WAY NO LONGER !
I planned to donate them to a food bank !

When my son got home from high school,
he was driving age, I sent him to the supermarket
with a short shopping list INCLUDING
our soups.. cans & packets !
When he got home I went thru the shopping bags
and was glad to see what a good job he had done…

but one thing?

WHERE’S THE SOUP?

(the whole point of the ‘expedition’)

HIS REPLY…

WE DON’T NEED ANY,
I FOUND A WHOLE BOX OF CHICKEN SOUP CANS
IN THE BASEMENT BEFORE I LEFT.

ARRRGGHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!

The box he found could not have been
in the basement more than a half-hour !
(I should have hid it better)

ABSOLUTELY  TRUE  STORY
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I had a FIRST today !!!

I sat down in the doctor’s waiting room
and a women there looked at me
and COMPLIMENTED me on MY pony-tail

(yeah, ME !)

IT’S THE FIRST POSITIVE COMMENT EVER MADE !
I happened to be having an especially good ‘hair-day’
but I didn’t think anyone else would notice…
(they never did before)
(post-shower & initial dry & comb lasts an hour or 2)
I DID ‘primp’ a bit more than usual…
(3 hair ties instead of 1 or 2… red, brown, red)
IT WAS WORTH IT !!!
She went on to say that she thought
that I MUST be a musician !
(or a comic-book store clerk)

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
I EVER HEARD ANYTHING POSITIVE
ABOUT THE PONY-TAIL EVERYONE HATES !
(the joke comments ‘fly’ often)
(it’s fun pissing them off.. I don’t have to look at me)

My mother keeps ‘bidding-up’ how much
she’ll pay me to get a ‘real’ haircut & color
like in the olden days, she says this makes me look old !
I tell her the white pony-tail is for just that reason…
TO KEEP THE WOMEN AWAY FROM ME !
(I’m just too damn irresistible)

‘almost cut my hair’ ?

ONLY  if I ever have to go to court !

(I’m told it’s the right length, FINALLY, to look decent)

MY WIFE ?

She refuses to acknowledge the horror
that is my hair. She hates it,
but might give me the ’speech’ once or twice a year…
BUT SHE HAS TO BE REALLY PISSED-OFF AT ME TO DO IT !
Otherwise, she just ignores my hair !

SORRY…

” I GOTTA BE MEEEEE ”

and getting that ONE compliment
is all I need to keep my hair,
and the momentum, going !
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for some reason this image…
a great, smiling pic of

SUSAN  LUCKEY

wasn’t posted (along with my others)
on ‘google image’…
(HEY, IT’S IMPORTANT TO ME)

SO, ONE MORE TRY…



or was it this one ?



Post it & I can let it rest.

addendum…
I said I’d ‘lay-off’ after writing to her just once,
but I found an inexpensive ‘choch-key’
I thought she might want for her scrap-book’,
so I sent it for Christmas
(hoping for an autograph in return)
DON’T GO BREAKIN’ MY HEART (please) !
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the NONSENSE people post online…

(as opposed to MY personal brand of nonsense)

A comment about my girl,

SUSAN  LUCKEY

was just unfair !

Co-star, Timmy Everett also had an affair with Jane Fonda around
the time MusicMan was being filmed. The rumor was that he and Luckey
had their moments also, but that Timmy was far more ‘interested’ in
Anthony Perkins. Apparently, a year or so later, Luckey was still pissed off enough
at him that some of her fellow Take Me Along cast members got to hear
too many details. Also, a lot of people at the time, despite it’s being yet a year
or more later, thought that Luckey married Larry Douglas on the rebound.
Whatever the case, I’ve been told that she never quite forgave
Everett for jilting her, or, because of her conservative nature, for his being gay.
Her not even mentioning him in the TMM DVD interview was,
supposedly, Luckey’s clearly pointed snub of the long dead Everett.

FIRST OF ALL, MUSIC MAN PREMIERED
2 YEARS AFTER ‘TAKE ME ALONG’ CLOSED !

So she had nothing, at that time, to pass along.
She may have ‘fling-ed’ with Everett,
but he was a known drug-using, party boy,
it was was no secret that he went ‘both’ ways,
and his trysts may have been ‘career moves’.

HER CONSERVATIVE NATURE & GAY-NESS ?

Back then, 1960-ish, 95% or MORE of straight people
(and ones who kept their mouths shut of such things),
weren’t so ‘friendly’ to gays… it was cultural !
It could most likely be a job or career ender
(Liberace fought the accusation in court, and WON !)
or result in getting the shit-beat-out-of-you !
SO TO SINGLE HER OUT AS IF SHE WERE
ON A PERSONAL, ANTI-GAY CRUSADE,
OR HAD UN-REASONABLE BELIEFS OF THE DAY,
IS NOT FAIR & NOT THE WAY THINGS WERE !
And really… how would a hetero-sexual woman of today
react to finding out the time spent growing to love a possible
husband ‘played-for-the-other-team’ and had wasted her time ?
THAT SHE WAS LIED-TO & TAKEN FOR A FOOL ?

MARRIED LARRY DOUGLAS ON THE REBOUND ?
First, if she’s so ‘conservative’, where did she find
the ‘cajones’ to run off with the husband of her mentor,
some 24 years older than she ? (2 years after MM in theaters)
(and staying with him over 30 years till his death)
THAT’S A REBOUND ?  MORE LIKE A SLAM-DUNK !

And her snub of Everett in a filmed interview?
The guy had a sad life, died of a drug overdose,
and was only 39 at his time of death (she’s 73 now),
IT JUST MIGHT BE SOMETHING TO AVOID
IN AN INTERVIEW OUT OF RESPECT !
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But, all that being said…

I’m thinking she was a wild-child,
like fellow Hollywood High alumni
MIA FARROW & TISHA STERLING
and was a bit more ‘with-it’ than most
way back in ancient times !  Who knows ?
(growing up in the ‘biz’ can jade you)

GO SHEIKS !

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HAPPY NEW YEAR ?

Party-hearty… but don’t drive drunk !

Drinking isn’t always as bad thing !
I know it ‘loosens-up’ MY wife !
(and I do the DRIVING)
and I’m suspended from being an a-hole
until she sobers-up !

And LADIES…

How can you be held responsible for your actions,
if you had-a-few ? Awww…. Wasn’t she cute !

FOR ME ?

I can’t remember the last time I went out
on New Year’s Eve…
Single?  Always pressured to have a date.
Married? Nothing to prove !

Plus … Since I don’t drink or dance…
(and stopped, ahem, ’smoking’, decades ago)…
have NO interest in football (I end up with the chics),
and my wife is ‘immune’ to my sense of humor,
and embarassed by it in public !

WHY BOTHER ?

For the rest of you ?

SEE YOU IN THE NEW YEAR !

2012
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

(or not, I really don’t care)

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