† RIP Renfield #633 – TURKEY OVER-LOAD †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 633 – TURKEY OVER-LOAD †

December 3, 2011

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TURKEY ?

NO MAS !!!

I’m ‘turkeyed-out’ until Christmas !
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WELL.. THATS’ ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT !
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R.I.P

Arch West

The SNACK GOD who invented DORITOS  is dead !

The family plans on “tossing Doritos chips in
before they put the dirt over the urn”.
The family will use Original, Cool Ranch
and Nacho flavored Doritos.
West was NOT a fan of the Cheeseburger flavor.

According to his daughter, West came up with the idea
for Doritos during a family vacation to San Diego (1961)
when he discovered a snack-shack selling fried tortilla chips.

PLEASE.. NO MORE FOOD.. UGH…
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I’m reading a story about

prison inmates ‘face-booking’ their victims !

One woman says she’s afraid to log into FACEBOOK.
I have a suggestion…
DON’T HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT !
You CAN survive without one…

ME ?  I don’t do  FACEBOOK
I think it’s intrusive, evil, & will bite you in the ass one day !

THIS WOMAN HAS BITE MARKS ON HER ASS,
BUT WON’T GIVE UP HER FACEBOOK !

DUH !
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I work with a guy who was commenting
on that same story I commented on
about school-kids ‘terrified’ by
WALL STREET OCCUPIERS
on their way to school…
The co-worker insists it’s a RIGHT to protest.
But WRONG to ‘terrorize’ kids !
(I don’t think they were terrorized,
it was just the ’spin’ of the tv news)

I don’t think that the guy I work with knows
that he is AGAINST protest !
(at least this one, his son lives in that area)

FORGET THE SUBJECT OF THIS ONE…

The way I’m ‘hearing it’
this guy thinks that they shouldn’t be
subjecting the locals to inconvenience,
that they should be polite & pleasant,
and they should protest in some far off area
where no one will hear ANY noise they make !
(oh.. and go get jobs?… hmmm, isn’t that the problem?)
((LIKE THE WAY THEY DID IN EGYPT & LIBYA))

UH… THAT’S A PROTEST ?
(or what we called a ‘demonstration’)

I’ve been to a few, back in the day…
and if you don’t like what’s going on?
JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE CROWD !
(always stay at the edge, not swept along in the middle)

IF YOU BELIEVE IN PROTESTING
FOR YOUR FORM OF INJUSTICE,
YOU DON’T GET TO SHUT DOWN
THE ONES YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN !

I’ll take ‘inconvenience’ over the police action
and beatings of the past…

(like Chicago’s 1968 Democratic Convention)
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MORE Protest ?

A college on Long Island (NY)
was having OPEN meetings to discuss
the raising of tuition… raises each year for a few.
A large contingent of student showed up…
mostly to ‘yell’ their displeasure
and have their ‘views’ heard !
(OPEN means OPEN TO ALL)

The building was too small for the crowd,
the police moved in.. and it got ugly…
(night stick beatings, hospitalizations)

The campus police are being supported
for their actions by the school hierarchy.
The IDIOTS had no contingency plan,
just bust heads to break up a crowded…
‘unsafe’ level of people in the building !

SHAME ON THE STUPID BUREAU-CRATS !

It was an OPEN meeting !
I’ve been to OPEN school board meetings
when they wanted to eliminate school bus-ing…
THEY GET QUITE A LARGE CROWD,
UNUSUALLY LARGE !
If the ‘crowd’ doesn’t fit ?
They meeting is cancelled and scheduled
for a larger venue !!!!
EXACTLY WHAT THESE IDIOTS
SHOULD HAVE DONE !
Cancel the meeting, leave the students
with nothing to protest,  and go home…
The students would have gone home too…
UN-BEATEN, WITH THEIR HEADS INTACT !

MY COMMENT BACK TO HIM ?
You look to us as a negative…
I look at it as a positive…
You do your job good enough to keep us
away most of the time !
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THIS WAS DONE AS A JOKE…

For the record,
I’VE NEVER COACHED COLLEGE SPORTS !!!

I needed some work done that required
‘ladder-ing’ up to the roof… (cleaning gutters)

The ‘KID’ (uh, he’s 20 now) that cuts my lawn
came by to do the work…
about half-way thru I went out and called over to him..

” HEY… YOU NEED A DRINK ?  A BURGER ?

WANNA TAKE A SHOWER ? “

Whew… I’m glad he laughed…
(both of us did)

I DIDN’T WANT HIM GOING AWAY

WITH THE WRONG IDEA…

Plus… I really didn’t need a shower !
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AND ONLY 10 MINUTES AWAY !!!

A pop-up ad on the comcast main page got my attention.
The pic looked like it would be a great show…
but I was shocked to see it at a really nice,
intimate theater very close to my home !
Okay… it was a Sunday night… Thanksgiving…
but, wow, it’s a big country,
and to rate enough to get these 2 is a ‘get’ !
I can’t see them ‘requesting’ this venue…

NOTHING BETTER FOR THEM TO DO ?

DOING A GOOD DEED FOR THE LOCALS?

FILLING IN AN OFF NITE ?

Whatever… I don’t care !!!



Well, it’s not a cheap ticket…
but probably worth the cost..

$95, $58 , $45

and at least it’s not Madison-Square-Garden-sized.
http://ucpac.org/html/calendar_of_events.cfm

Compared to ‘other’ shows at this ‘high-class’ theater ?

THIS SHOW IS THE BIG ONE !!!
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I decided to ADD a new word to my vocabulary.
I was listening to one of my ‘old’ compilations
and “DOWN AT POPPA JOE’S ” came on…
and heard…
A little dark haired beauty says “Step right in”
And you can bet a full dollar she’s be yo’ friend
And ev’rybody there has a toler’ble time
Down at Papa Joe’s

So, I figure to add ‘tolerable’ when I can !
As in, how’s your health, or the heat ?
TOLERABLE, JUST TOLERABLE…

I already got a strange look from my kid…
I’ll ‘try-it-on’ for a few weeks and let you know
if it works for me, or not !
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the DIXIE-BELLES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU10oHpJcyw
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WORD  ORIGINS…

I wondered how the term ‘chick’,
for young girl-woman came along.

AND WHEN I HEARD THE TERM

‘ HEN  PARTY ‘

used in a movie, it made a sort of sense to me.

HEN PARTY seems non-trace-able,
supposedly derived from farm slang,
one rooster, multiple hens?
hens gather together & cackle…

IT’S A PARTY !

(for men… a ’stag’ or ‘buck’ party… no ‘chick-let’ equivalent)

AND although SINCLAIR LEWIS
gets credit for the ‘earliest’ literary use of ‘chick’

ELMER  GANTRY

“…He didn’t want to marry this brainless little fluffy chick,
who would be of no help in impressing rich parishioners…”

I’m thinking that it makes more sense
that if the term ‘hen party’ was already in use
(for the ‘biddies’ & ’stadi-babas’ — old women)
the thing that makes sense is that the
‘CHICKS’ age into ‘HENS’
thereby making the term ‘chick’
refer to a young woman-girl…

SORRY SINCLAIR !

I think I ‘nailed’ this one !
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TALKING ‘TURKEY’

WITH MY DOCTOR

another ‘turkey’ of a doctor…

Had a check-up for my blood clots…
gave-up some blood…
but needed a favor…
my daughter’s cold gave her terrible congestion.
I thought I could talk him into prescribing something
(in my name or hers).
I was told the best medication wasn’t ‘prescription’.

ZYRTEC  D

(12hour if possible, 24 otherwise)

BUT
You had to ask for it at the pharmacy counter,
and sign for it. (24 tablets, $26)
Hmmm… I didn’t see a problem, but was curious.

When I asked at the pharmacy counter,
I was assigned to a particular employee…
After a few questions, I signed where indicated.
THE PART THAT SURPRISED ME ?
I next had to product my driver’s license
and they scanned it.
(I never knew they were scan-able)
THEN… I was instructed that I would NOT be able
to purchase ANY additional ZYRTEC D
until the earliest date my 24 (twice a day)
tablets could be considerred ‘used-up’.

I DIDN’T FIND OUT TILL THE NEXT DAY
THAT THE PRECATIONS WERE AIMED
AT THE ‘METH’ HEADS, WHO ‘ALTER’
THE ZYRTEC INTO SOMETHING THEY LIKE BETTER !
(I was thinking a terrorist thing.. bomb stuff)

GOOD TO KNOW FOR THE FUTURE
WHAT TO USE FOR CONGESTION
(not worth a trip to the doctor always)

addendum…

MY DRIVER’S LICENSE SCAN-ABLE ?

I’m still ‘freaked’ by that !
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THIS IS SHOCKING !

NYC mayor Bloomberg is being sued
by a variety of agencies, advocates, & fellow politicians
for him ‘jamming’ thru a requirement that homeless
singles PROVE they have no where else to go !

THE ARGUMENT ?

It could save the city $4 million !
Why should the city put up $3000 per month
when the ‘homeless’ has options !

DID YOU CATCH THE SHOCKING PART ?
Somehow it costs the city $3000 per head per month !
THAT IS SCANDALOUS !
Wouldn’t it be alot easier and better for all
to PAY the person a salary with that $3000 ?
(and fend for themselves)

FIND THEM SOMETHING TO DO FOR THE MONEY !!!

REALLY… THAT COMES TO $36,000 a YEAR,
AFTER THE NON-TAX PAID !

If I could I’d retire tomorrow
and take that $36,000 a year deal
to keep myself ‘busy(?)’.

SOMEBODY IS CASHING IN ON THE HOMELESS !

an offer?

I’ll put 4 homeless in my basement bedrooms
(private shower)
and I’ll only charge NYC  $125,000 for the year !

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A comedian was ‘riffing’ on a radio show
and came up with how the 2nd place guy
displaces the first place guy for the ‘prize’ !
(the hosts were loving it, me? eh)

TESLA was the guy,
but EDISON won out by ’shitting’ on him !
(edison not a nice man.. ruthless in fact)

MICROSOFT  over  APPLE
(operating system wise)Maybe… Apple kept themselves too much
a boutique brand… (to this day)
while work needed to be done
and a better ‘deal’ and marketing system
was put in place…
who wants an ‘8 track player’
when the world is going ‘cassette’ ?

BUT THE ONE HE REALL MISSED WAS…
BETA-MAX vs. VHS Video Recorders !

Beta, although like-systems still used professionally,
was very limited & feature-less & expensive…
while VHS came in with 2 & 4 hour speeds
(beta 1 hour-30),
quickly went to 6 hour speeds…
added full feature remote controls,
and had pause with video
instead of a blank screen !
(also view-able fast wind)

I paid $900 for my first RCA vcr
(it was a deal, I waited),
I bought tapes in an appliance store.
($20 for a 4 hour tape)
And I’d be surprised if there were a total
of 3 of them in my home town !
BETA WAS NEVER AN OPTION !!!

SO I KINDA KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT
(for once)

(I still prefer VHS to DVD, especially for recording programs)
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A New Jersey couple who gave their childrens
Nazi-inspired names won’t receive custody of their newborn son,
and had their other 2 children taken away from them…

THEIR KIDS TAKEN AWAY ?

I’m waiting to see what Germany does
about a newborn named JIHAD !
(a ‘hate’ word, but ‘religious’?)
A war or struggle against unbelievers.

Take the kid away?
Or mind your own business ?

Nazi’s have the right to march thru Washington, DC,
it’s just one of those ‘freedoms’ you DON’T have to agree with…
and aren’t forced to ‘buy-into’ !

WHY IS THIS ‘NAMING’ THE ATTENTION GETTER ?

I’ve heard it argued that it’s cruel to the child,
and will ‘mark’ the kid for abuse from other kids…
(the ones raised with the anti-bully curriculum)
Kids are rotten… you could have a class of clones
and they’d find someone to pick on !

Parents have ’saddled’ kids with rotten names forever,
but got to keep their kids…
(otto, percy, petunia, etc)
I went to high school with a guy born DOUG…
he hated it, declared himself SANDY, and that was that !

DO WE NEED A BUREAU OF ACCEPTABLE NAMES ?
LIKE THEY HAVE FOR ‘VANITY’ LICENSE PLATES?

One to ‘police’ the naming of kids ?
What names meet the criteria?
MANSON, BUNDY, MUSSOLINI, GENGHIS, KLINGON ?

HOW ABOUT ME NAMING MY KID…

SANDUSKY
Can my kid be taken away from me for that ?

(hmmm.. I might have something here)

Personally, the scarier scenario for the NJ couple
would be to name their kids… Jack, John, & Nancy
and raise them on hate behind closed doors.
(and use nazi nicknames instead of official names)

I’m not a sympathizer if they’re recruiting…
but they should have the right to be a-holes !
(freedom allows you to have wacky beliefs,
you’re just not allowed to act on them or hurt anyone)

OUT IN THE OPEN ?

I’m more likely to think them wacky, if not,
they make it easy to keep an eye on them.
(they ain’t hidin’ nothin’)
HOW ABOUT DRUG ADDICTS & CRIMINALS WITH KIDS ?
Those kids should be the FIRST ones
to be taken away from parents, but do we?
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HAVE YOU NOTICED THE CHANGE
IN PITCHES FOR TV ‘JUNK’ SALES?

You buy the ‘automatic-dog’s-ass-shaver’
and they’d charge you a ‘processing’ fee
along with a shipping fee…
(mulitple processing for more than 1)
Their money was made on these fees,
not the merchandise !

NOW…. FREE SHIPPING !!!

Well.. not really…

They hint at it…
“Ask about free shipping when you order… ”
You’ll probably have to buy more than one.

AND even if the shipping is free…
you’ll be paying processing fees for ALL…
even the 2nd ‘free’ one they throw in !

I NEVER BUY ANY OF THE JUNK…

I peel my hard-boiled eggs the old-fashioned way !
(the stuff ends up in stores anyway)
BUT, am amused at the ‘tweaks’ used against the ‘rubes’ !

PEOPLE REALLY MUST BE THAT STUPID !!!
(especially if they think there’s some kind of bargain here)

addendum

Hard -boiled eggs? Aren’t they the MOST
germ-free inside the egg?
Better to store that way?
Instead of cooking them in re-washed,
poison-seeping, plastic cooking units?
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STARTING THANKSGIVING WEEK…

They started showing some Xmas tv commercials
(black friday, shopping, xmas, etc)
THAT I AM SICK OF ALREADY !
Non-descript shoppers singing & dancing thru the mall?
I’m changing channels to get away from them !
IF THEY WERE THE LEAST BIT GOOD,
OR CLEVER, I’D HANG IN THERE…
I can’t even imagine who is the ‘target’ audience !

IF YOU ARE EFFECTED BY THEM POSITIVELY,
you might be someone to avoid !
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SPEAKING OF EMBARASSING…

I caught this one morning on a cable tv channel…

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059878/combined



Young Ron Howard (his character is named ‘genius’)
creates a formula that makes animals giants…



A dog, a cat, ducks, etc…
then the mean kids get some of it…
and now THEY are GIANT !
and hold the ‘regulars’ hostage, & take over the town…

but check out the cast…

Tommy Kirk, Johnny Crawford,
even Freddie Cannon is in it !
Along with Beau Bridges, Toni Basil, Tisha Sterling,
the Beau Brummels, and a long list of ’stoners’ !

GIANT FORMULA?

THEY MUST HAVE BEEN EATING ACID
TO DOTHIS GIANT TURKEY !!!
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I heard a radio guy complaining
that the chocolate companies
were putting one over on us (USA)
for making a ‘new’ concoction…

This ‘new’ concoction has been popular
for a long, long time in the rest of the world…
This guy thougth he was being cheated
from the bubbles of air inside the chocolate !
(uh, it’s sold by weight, not volume)
My English wife introduced me to UK
candy bars decades ago !

Aero is nothing new…

they claim the air bubbles help dissolve
the chocolate better so as to give a better taste.

ME?

I’m not particularly a fan…
Not a real fan of CADBURY FLAKE either…

Although I had a vanilla ice cream cone
with a flake bar stuck in the top
from an ice cream truck at the ASHTON Market
back in the mid-90’s…
(the square is no more… bad fire)
One other thing… the vanilla ice cream?
RICH… IT WAS YELLOW-ISH… DELICIOUS !
(nothing to compare it to over here)

A BIG FAVORITE OF MINE?

My wife would bring back
CADBURY NUT BARS
(nuts were hazelnut.. couldn’t get them here… a treat)

The ones she got only said ‘nut’.
(and I’m not a hazel-nut fan in any other form)

I’m not sure if everyone has one…
but in the mall here there’s an Irish-themed store
called BRIDGETS…
and they have a full selection of UK candy bars…

MARS BARS, TURKISH DELIGHTS, ETC.

(although the internet probably makes them easier to find)

ONE LAST THING…

As a Tom Baker DOCTOR WHO fan…

I couldn’t wait to try Tom’s signature candy…

” …HAVE A JELLY BABY ? ”

Me and Doctor Who friends were all excited
way back when… but then we tried them…

THEY SUCK !

(I still have a 15 year old un-opened box)

Hmmm.. they used-to-be up there !!!

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I CAN’T TAKE IT…

THAT CANDY IN THE LAST ITEM

PUT ME OVER THE EDGE !!!

I DON’T WANT TO THINK FOOD
UNTIL THE NEXT HOLIDAY !

I GOTTA GO !!!
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<
(or not, I really don’t care)

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