† RIP Renfield #625 – ANNIVERSARY – Year 13 †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 625 – ANNIVERSARY – Year 13 !!! †

October 8, 2011

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STARTING YEAR 13 of

RIP Renfield ?

Like Henry Gibson’s poem,
set to music for ROBERT ALTMAN’S

NASHVILLE
in which Gibson played country super-star

HAVEN  HAMILTON…

I’m going to be just like Henry (Haven) and

KEEP  A  GOIN’ !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsN8LmkVRFg
(ignore the accompanying pics, they ain’t Henry’s doing)
it’s the ONLY youtube of the song I could find.

and just the reading from a DICK van DYKE SHOW…
(also celebrating an anniversary, the 50th !)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3piT_zGX_YI&feature=related
(just as he did many times (holding a big flower) on LAUGH-IN)

CONGRATS TO ME

and
SHAME ON WHO-EVER
DIRTIED UP A GREAT ‘NASHVILLE’ SONG !

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RIP Renfield isn’t the ONLY anniversary…

Mister Ed is ALSO having a 50th !!!

R.I.P

Mister Ed

Mister Ed was a sit-com from 1961.
Like Francis the talking mule,
Ed would only speak to his bumbling owner,
WILBUR POST (”sorry, wilbur”),
both helping Wilbur and frustrating him.
And YOU can STILL sing along to the theme song.
(you know you can)

DEATH ?
(there are conflicting stories)

1970 – BAMBOO HARVESTER (mr ed)
Variety of health problems, euthanized quietly.
or
Alan (wilbur) Young later claimed to have later visited
Mr. Ed many times in retirement and that he was
mistakenly medicated and died as a result after 1970.
or
In 1979, another horse, thought to be the
original Ed was reported to have died.
This horse ONLY posed for publicity stills
and had no acting credits.

” REST – in – PEACE “
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ANNIVERSARY  MESSAGE  FROM  A  FAN…

“He was a genius -
that is to say, a man who does superlatively
and without obvious effort something that most people
cannot do by the uttermost exertion of their abilities.”
-  Robertson Davies


Aww… thanks Bob, I apprecitate the kind words…
(if it were only so)
- RENFIELD
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YA SAY IT’S MY BIRTHDAY…
(dada-dada-dada-da-da!)
(october 11th)

For the life of me,
I had no answer for my wife
when she asked what I wanted as a gift…
If I were MISS CONGENIALITY…
I could have at least asked for ‘world peace’ !

Nuthin’ I want, nuthin’ I need…
I was thinking about getting a medium-sized
(musical) keyboard like I used to have…
gave it up when I bought the big keyboard…
(the one that’s underneath a pile of stuff that just grew)
I’d be more likely to ‘fiddle’ with the small one
while watching tv or just hanging out…

THE PROBLEM ?
They don’t make them anymore…
Not a simple, no frills-battery-type one…
(like I used to have, not a toy)
I was hoping to score-one on ebay for up to $50.
No luck there either… for $100 you get a new, real one !
If I ever get out, maybe Walmart has what I want.

OTHERWISE…
I DON’T NEED A THING !
(actually, I don’t need the keyboard either)

The way things have been going…
I’m joining the
‘ I don’t want my b-day acknowledged club ! ‘

ADDENDUM…
A birthday call (or email) from Susan Luckey
would really hit-the-spot…
(she’s much older now, the Music Man was from 1962,
(nearly 50 years) but the ‘meet’ would be a thrill)

I’ve tracked her to the Hollywood Hills…
last employment as a librarian…
(and guest-of-honor at her screenings)
and have a request from a 3rd party
to see if she’d contact me…
BUT IT ALWAYS COMES ACROSS AS CREEPY…
and I wouldn’t want to cause anyone grief !
(by the way… I named my daughter after her)

GOOGLE IMAGE has been including RIP images,
but failed to include the following screen cap of mine…
I’m thinking it’s because it was near the end of the issue
with all the semi-nude pics (I was lazy that week).

SO HERE IT IS AGAIN… C’MON GOOGLE !!!

Susan just doesn’t have the internet presence
that she REALLY deserves !!!

(I have a great grown-up,elegant-beauty shot of her on DVD
from Burns&Allen, but can’t get a screen cap)
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HEALTH  UPDATE

Geez… the doctor sounded alot more confident
about my recovery & ability to get back to work
during the first week in the hospital,
rather than the 2nd one at home…

BUT I HAVE TO GET BACK,
SO HOPEFULLY I’LL HAVE ENOUGH ‘WIND’
IN A WEEK OR SO….
(but worry was expressed if I still have difficulty)

THE  DOCTOR’S  OFFICE…

While waiting for MY turn,
an old gent came out of the office area
and seemed to be waiting…
we talked a bit and I found out that he was
98 years old !!! (and looked great… like 70’s)

He put on his jacket and sat down..
so I (mister wiseguy) ask…

” OH, ARE YOU WAITING FOR
YOUR MOTHER TO PICK YOU UP ? ”

(he had a good laugh too)
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HOME  SICK  FOR  A  MONTH ?

“Doing nothing is very hard to do …

you never know when you’re finished.”
- Leslie Nielsen
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I said I wouldn’t
but I ended up watching the
COMEDY CENTRAL CHARLIE SHEEN ROAST
(most jokes are about roasters anyway)

It wasn’t horrible… some good laughs…

HOW MUCH ‘BLOW’ CAN SHEEN DO ?
Answer:  Enough to kill  2 1/2 men !!!

Mike Tyson even got off a good one…
Said (about one roaster) his routine
wishes he’d bitten off his own ears !

AND ABOUT MIKE TYSON…

Why did everyone jump on THE SITUATION
for sucking so badly last roast ?
THE SITUATION was much better than Tyson
(at least a bit more under-stand-able),
and NOTHING was pre-advertised about HIM !

AFRAID OF TYSON ?

Mike’s a nice sweet guy,
hasn’t bitten off an ear in a long time !
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FROM THE ARCHIVES…

I was reminded of this the other day…

When my kids were in grammar school,
there were alot of papers sent home
that required signatures…

NO PROBLEM…

but one day my young daughter finally (innocently) asked,
why I wrote ‘FAT-HEAD’ underneath my signature?

Uh, I’d always sign my ‘illegible’ signature
and under-neath would PRINT…

FATHER (Fat-her?)

I guess my signature wasn’t the ONLY
thing that was illegible !

(could it be ‘freudian’? subliminal?)
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feelin’ sorry for myself…

(sick boy and all)

NOBODY  LOVES  ME  !!!

I love the reaction from that line…
Especially with the back-story…

The 5 year old daughter of friends
would use that line at school often.
OFTEN ENOUGH
THAT THEY WERE CALLED IN
FOR A MEETING WITH THE TEACHER
AND
LECTURED ON CHILD-REARING…
You have to tell her…

THAT YOU LOVE HER !!!

The thing was… THEY DID !!!
They were great parents !
(the kid was a little manipulator)
But all they did was hem-and-haw when accused !

The kid was either looking for attention
or referring to her ‘class-mates’…
BUT…
ONCE ACCUSED OF ANYTHING
or
ONCE THEY HAVE YOU IN THEIR RADAR,

YOU  ARE  GUILTY !!!
(lol)
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from  LAFFADAY

KINDA LIKE MARRIAGE AFTER A WHILE…

“In Connecticut a man was arrested
for having sex with a cow. When the man was asked
what he was thinking at the time,
he said he was thinking about a younger, hotter cow.”
- Craig Kilborn
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I wasn’t amused by a list of
homeless-guy, pan-handling signs…
but one DID get a smile from me…

“I’m like Obama, I want change.”

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“Politics is the art of looking for trouble,

finding it whether it exists or not,

diagnosing it incorrectly,

and applying the wrong remedy.”

– Ernest Benn

AS LONG AS IT’S NOT PARTY-AFFILIATED,
GO WALL STREET PROTESTERS, GO !
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This thought hit me days after the incident…

Would BARBARA WALTERS NOT flinch
if a MAN used the ‘C’ work (cunt)
on THE VIEW, even if just reporting a story ?
(you’d hope the guy would have more sense)
THEY’D ‘SKEWER’ HIM !!!
(jane fonda’s ‘cunt’ on tv wasn’t such a big deal)

(WAWA had no problem dropping the ‘N’ bomb)

I’M SURE SHE WOULD SHOW OFFENSE AT THE MAN…
but I’m pretty sure the reason would just be
RATINGS thru CONTROVERSY !
(with false out-rage during, & high-fiving after, the show)

AND NOW THEY CAN ‘MILK’ THE TOPIC…

” CAN ANYONE OTHER THAT AFRICAN-AMERICANS
USE THAT WORD IN A NON-OFFENSIVE WAY ? ”
(’milk it’ and call it education?)

THE VIEW CAN USE THE PRESS, AND DOES !
(manipulation?)
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HOME RECOVERING

OUT of BORDOM,
I’m doing alot of channel surfing…
I caught a few minutes of a show called…
AMERICAN  DAD (a cartoon ala family guy).

They were ‘ROASTING’ their live-in alien visitor
for his birthday (at his request).

ONE OF THE INSULTS ?
(paraphrased)

ROGER IS TOLD WHAT A PIECE-OF-SHIT HE IS…

“… OF EVERYONE I’VE KNOWN, HE IS THE LOWEST…
AND I KNOW SAMMY HAGAR !!! “


Seth McFarlane seems to have a ‘thing’ for Hagar…
Funny stuff, I may have to drop-in from time-to-time.

(the clip seems to have ‘expired’ (?) online)
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WOW…

FEAST or FAMINE

I’ve been watching so much tv while home
that the choice is mostly the best re-play
of something I’ve already seen a few times…

BUT  LAST  SATURDAY  NITE  ?

Baseball playoffs of course…
but SPECIAL DELIVERY on Satellite Radio 8-10,
the big DOCTOR WHO Finale
(I teared-up, big pussy)
a few really good movies…
and then ANTENNA TV ?
An hour of ADAM-12,
An hour of DRAGNET,
followed by 2 hours of
IT TAKES A THIEF !
then 2 hours of
ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS
and after the news…
2 hours of SUSPENSE THEATER !

Hmmm.. somebody should tape those
for leaner viewing times !
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BIG FEAST HERE…

the ‘recommend’ for the week…

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AN  AMERICAN  HORROR  STORY
(wed. 10pm on Fx)

I was not expecting much
considering they kept advertising
‘ from the makers of GLEE ‘
but I recorded it anyway.

WOW… they keep your interest !

(in the pilot anyway)

They aren’t bashful with ‘language’
(heard words you rarely hear on tv & often),
there is plenty of paranormal stuff,
and there’s alot of sex (the act or acts)
(not nudity, think sexy & orgasms.. alone & couples),
and death?  looks like they’re be plenty !

I’d rate it ….. R (a HARD ‘R’)

I have no idea how they can ‘keep-it-up’(?)
for the 13 week run, but I’m on board
for at least the 2nd one !

Not being a Jessica Lange fan,
even she was okay as a negative character,
she’s the neighbor who ‘tries’ to come across as almost
‘nice’ to your face, has trouble keeping it in check,
and seems to know all the (evil) answers !
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I can’t believe my good fortune !!!

There are times I really have to ’scratch-the-earth’
to find a note-able person to ‘dead’ tribute…
The old R.I.P ‘treatment’…

BUT

YOU’LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW
THAT THEY’VE BEEN DROPPING-LIKE-FLIES
AND I HAVE A 2 MONTH SUPPLY
OF DEAD TRIBUTES IN-THE-BAG !!!
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HOW DID  I  DO  ?

NOT MY BEST ANNIVERSARY ISSUE, BUT…
I think that, like Ralph Malph,

I  STILL  GOT  IT !!!

If I could ONLY make money
by relating these ‘bits-of-my-life’…

MIGHT WORK TOO…
IF I WERE INTERESTING !

As it is, I’ll keep ‘plugging-along’
hoping to keep my brain in working order !
(didn’t work for my lungs though)

GOOD LUCK TO US ALL

IN MY 13th YEAR OF RIP Renfield
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you could be wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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