† RIP Renfield #614 – HOT as HELL †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 614 – HOT as HELL †

July 23, 2011

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SAND  SAND  SAND

HOW WIDE IS THIS BEACH ?

Are we anywhere near the water yet ?

The heat wave has been SO oppressive…
Even the beach is a bad idea !

100+ degree days ?

MORE THAN ONE !

You can get used to ‘normal’ heat

but
Gonna need a sweater when it drops
down to 80 degrees or so after this !

I’ve been spending time (ALL OF IT)
inside in an air conditioned room
unless I absolutely have to leave the house !

A good time for everyone to stay inside

and read RIP Renfield…
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R.I.P NASA

(especially, the space shuttle program)

With the shuttle program ended
alot of jobs… from management to scientists
to support people to the people of the towns
who supported the needs of all…

THERE ARE ALOT OF SPACE-BRAINS
WITHOUT EMPLOYMENT FOR MAYBE
THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!

Has anyone done a study on what the guys
with OUR secrets are going to do to make a living ?

THE SENSIBLE THING ?

JOIN ANOTHER SPACE PROGRAM !

And since there isn’t one in this country…
(except for small private operations)
why not take your skills (and american knowledge)
to a foreign country and keep a technical job
you’ve studied & trained for your entire life ?
A JAPANESE SATELLITE ORBIT-ED THE MOON
(and did a full-digital photo reconnaissance)
THE CHINESE ARE GOING TO THE MOON..
AND HAVE PLANS FOR MARS !
THE RUSSIANS ARE ALWAYS UP TO SOMETHING !
PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY FOR SOMEONE WITH SKILLS !
(and specific knowledge they learned thru NASA)

HOPEFULLY THEY’LL GO TO FRIENDLY COUNTRIES,
BUT HOW MANY TIMES HAVE OUR ‘FRIENDS’
TRADED WITH OUR ENEMIES ?

WE JUST PUT SUPER-VALUABLE ASSETS
ON THE SCRAP HEAP
WHERE OTHERS CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF
UNIQUE KNOWLEDGE
AT BARGAIN BASEMENT COSTS !

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effect of working outside
in the excessively crazy heat ?

Oh.. about 9:30pm or so I lay on the floor
in a very awkward position…
(not the most comfortable)
Up until then, I was re-hydrating to the max…
(water, diet soda, fruit, ice cream)
You’d think I’d make a ‘pit stop’ before getting comfortable.
NOPE
(and I usually get up 2 or 3 occasions at best of times)

LIGHTS GLARING, TV BLARING…
(bladdder sensors over-ridden)
MY EYES CLOSED
AND DIDN’T OPEN UNTIL 7 or 8 NEXT MORNING !

STILL WITH
LIGHTS GLARING, TV BLARING
and, oh so sore from the position
I dropped off to sleep in !

BUT… on the other hand…

I CAN’T RECALL THE LAST TIME
I SLEPT SO SOUNDLY,
DEAD TO THE WORLD !

(I not only regularly awake for multi-bathroom visits,
I sleep so lightly that
I can hear a door-knob turn 3 rooms away !)
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and if I am elected president of the united states….

“Michele Bachmann says that if she’s elected,
she’ll ban pornography.
We have multiple wars, skyrocketing debts,
a recession, unemployment…

Yeah, let’s ban pornography.”

- David Letterman
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MY LIFE IS FALLING APART….

First, my 20 year old (big) SONY TV
for all intents and purposes DIED !

And I’m not in the mood to start shopping
for a flat-screen panel and enter the 21st century
witout doing some homework
and ‘happening’ into a great sale price !

Trouble-free… one repair a decade ago
(and we played the fucker 20 hours a day).

The ONE repair?

The repair guy recommended the fix.
Said we bought it when SONY still made product
like ‘brick-shit-houses’ instead of the cheaper,
department store brand they became !

I THINK I’LL PUT IN A TEMPORARY REPLACEMENT
AND DO THE PURCHASE RIGHT !
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SECOND ?

Hasn’t happened to me in 3 years (or ever) !

I LOST A ‘SCRUNCHY’ !!!

It was HOT !!!

(I think the earth moved closer to the sun)
After a good sweat and hair everywhere,
I went to re-tie my ponytail…
(and slip the ‘tail’ thru the hole on the back of my cap)

IT WAS GONE !!!

And I had just broken out a new one
just that morning…  a YELLOW one !!!

(good thing I keep a spare around my wallet)
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THIRD ?

IT’S FUCKING HOT AS HELL !
(worse if you work outside)

For the first time in my life,
I’m worried about the ‘power grid’ holding up !

Luckily, I have the next 10 days off work !
(as long as the air conditioning holds up I’m lucky)
I got stuck with one 104 degree day (heat index).
but get to miss the next 3 !!! (up to 110?)

I may get the ‘call’ if workers

start ‘dropping’ from the heat !
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WHAT PLANET DO THEY IMPORT
MANAGEMENT-TYPES FROM ?

Officials in NY were so outraged
that large numbers of tickets written
(for ANY infraction)
were ‘iffy’ tickets, or didn’t hold-up
on procedural grounds…

THAT THEY THREATENED PUNISHEMENT
FOR THE TICKET WRITING OFFICERS !
If YOUR tickets DON’T hold up,
YOU will be ‘docked’ 10 days vacation pay !

NEEDLESS TO SAY…

THE NUMBER OF TICKETS WRITTEN
HAS DROPPED DRAMATICALLY !

(for obvious reasons)
((WHY TAKE THE CHANCE?))


THE ‘HOT-SHOT’ IN CHARGE, HOWEVER,
WANTS TO STUDY & FIND OUT ‘WHY’
THE NUMBER OF TICKETS HAS DWINDLED !

DUH…

Offer them EXTRA vacation days for MORE
tickets handed out… and you might just
see them increase… (carrot & stick, dummy)

BUT I KINDA LIKE IT BETTER
WHEN THEY AREN’T AS BLOOD-THIRSTY
AND GIVE-A-BREAK TO
ALREADY TAXED-TO-DEATH CITIZENS !
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JETER BASEBALL ?

The fan that caught it, Lopez
should have signed the ball,
either with his name, or initials…

and signed it with a…

KNIFE !!!
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AND  I   QUOTE…

” IT’S CAPULETS LIKE YOU THAT

MAKE BLOOD IN THE MARKETPLACE ! ”

- Zaneeta Shinn



Ye gods… ’nuff said !
- Renfield

(Yo Sheik…SLD please ‘drop me’ an email)
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NEXT BASEBALL ALL-STAR GAME ?

I propose the players who don’t plan to attend,
announce it before the voting takes place…

SO FAN SUPPORTERS AREN’T DISAPPOINTED
WHEN THEY DON’T SHOW UP,
AND PREVENT A WASTED VOTE ON A PRIMA DONNA !!!

YOU should NOT be included as an ALL-STAR
in the record books if you ‘blow-off’ the game !
UNLESS YOU’RE DEAD or in an IRON LUNG !
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I HAD A DREAM…
(in my younger days)

To line a wall with hard-cover books I’ve read.

One of my OCD obsessions…
(I get tired of them, and move on)
was  READING !!!
Not a bad thing, but it was ALL I did !!!
(pre-internet, pre-the-half-dozen years on the piano,
or the salt water fishing obsession every decade or so)
Probably lasted close to 10 years,
where I always had book in hand.
Going thru 3-5 sci-fi novels a week !
(and not just the trashy easy-reads)
I joined book clubs
(under many names for the free books),
I subscribed to monthly short story mags,
I ONCE GOT YELLED AT (by my wife) FOR READING !!!
“All you do is read, don’t you think I’d like to sit down
with a book once in a while ?”
Hmmm… husbands get the same ‘line’ for…
drinking, drugging, affairs, beating-their-wives, etc…
I GET YELLED AT FOR READING !!!
(go figure)

PRESENT DAY…

My 20-ish year old daugter has discovered my books.
Hardcover, not garbage… popular reads !
She’s having a good time reading thru them…
BUT TOOK IT A STEP FURTHER…
Seems many of my books are either
RARE or FIRST EDITIONS (60’s, 70’s) !

AND SHE HAD THE IDEA TO CHECK
THEM OUT ON EBAY…

It was a good idea to save them
from the library donation, cleaning out the basement,
a few years back…
SEVERAL OF THE ONES SHE’S CHECKED
ARE GETTING $80 -  $200  !!!   WOW !!!
(and that doesn’t include ones
autographed to me by LORD JEFFREY ARCHER,
I got them at Heathrow directly from him)

WHO SAID READING DOESN’T PAY-OFF !!!

Since I’m off work for a week…
I think I’m in the mood to ‘mess’ with my piano…
been a long time… I think I’m due !
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TV PICK OF THE WEEK…

I caught part of a replay of ALPHAS
(I leave the tv on in the background instead of a radio)
and the show got enough of my attention
to go back & watch the first 2 episodes…
(there’s NOTHING worthwhile on tv)

ENTERTAINING ENOUGH…

but, again…
they’re going to
paint themselves into a corner pretty quickly.

YIN & YANG, HOLMES & MORIARTY, ETC…
It’s time to get rid of the arch enemy, white whale concept,
when EVERY show has one !

(and I’m talking to you Patrick Jane… RED JOHN? geesh)

I wish they would just do self-contained stories
ala X-FILES (without the alien backstory).

ALPHAS seems to me like a re-working
of  HEROES (which got too silly after a season) !
Actually, HEROES meets CSI meets NCIS !
And I’m fairly certain that combo
was built into the concept of THIS show !
A conscious effort to take what works from all,
throw it against the wall, and see if IT sticks !


WATCH THE EARLY ONES…

THEY’LL BE VERY GOOD,
BUT BE READY TO ‘BAIL’

when they start to ’stink’ it won’t be worth
the bother to see if they bounce back !

and if the ’show-makers’ have read any HEINLEIN…
they’ll have to explore the ‘normals’
feeling threatened by others with ‘powers’
that THEY won’t be able to develop,
fall into the predictable genocide trap
and try to wipe them out !
(yawn… a tired old premise to drag-out a tv series)

BY THE WAY…

I finally saw the first 2 episodes of TORCHWOOD
(on STARZ)
and I’m not disappointed… not completely thrilled either…
The story is a little TOO BIG, but adequate so far…
but it has such a great look,
I’ll hang in and hope they know what they’re doing.
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STOP COMPLAINING,

HERE’S A CHICK PIC FOR YA

(lately, I’ve been leaving them out… sorry)


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THANK YOU IOMEGA

I’m a big fan of their products…

ZIP DRIVES, EXTERNAL HARD DRIVES,
EXTERNAL POCKET-SIZED HARD DRIVES…

good prices, last forever, great quality


I archive RIP Renfield off the computer,
on zip disks (for posterity).

I had a very minor problem…

After all these years, a 250 mb zip disk
wouldn’t work… right out of the package…
ONLINE CHAT SERVICE ?
A replacement received a few days later…
(no bother proving my purchase or sending the bad one)



NICE AND EASY

(and consider, ONE disk is $12-15)
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It was SO hot

(especially in  upstairs parts of my house)

that my daughter took a break
from her upstairs (hot) bedroom,
came down, and watched tv with the ‘old man’.

WHAT OLD MAN?

Well, me I guess.

She walked in the very chilly room I was in
just after the start of a SYFY network show…

HAVEN

(the town is cursed with wierd x-files type stuff)

I had to ‘catch-her-up’ to the confusing crisis…
Part of the plot concerned a young woman.
If you looked her in the eye,
you would instead see the ‘thing’
you feared the most… and terrify you !
(scary clown, dead relative, killer after you, etc.)

SO TO PUT IT IN TERMS SHE’D UNDERSTAND…

I told her how ‘eye contact’ with her
would MAKE you see YOUR scariest ‘thing’…

and as an example…

IT’S AS IF WHEN SHE LOOKED

IN THE GIRL’S EYES,

SHE WOULD SEE A ‘JOB’ !!!

I was laughing like a fool.

but so was she !

She paused laughing to call me a jerk,
but had to admit it WAS funny.
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GUNS THAT SHOOT BLANKS ?

To me, it seemed easy enough to prevent
accidents with REAL ammo.
Just make replica guns (for tv&movies)
that use an odd caliber of bullet.

YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO FIRE A REAL BULLET !

Seems they do that… mostly…

I’m reading that BLANK GUNS
can’t fire REAL bullets,
BUT
REAL GUNS can  be modified to fire blanks.

MAKES SENSE TO ME
BUT YOU’RE NEVER KNOW
FROM ACCIDENTAL SHOOTINGS ON TV SHOWS.
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I ALSO TRIED TO CONFIMR THAT THE CIA
IS NOT ALLOWED TO OPERATE DOMESTICALLY

as Lou Costello might say…

” I’ve been a baa-aaad googler ”

I read some double-talk on their site,
and official gov’t definitions…
AND COULDN’T FIND A DEFINITIVELY ANSWER !
But it’s not like they’d need a loophole,
they can pretty much do as they please
in the name of national security.

I INCLUDED THE ‘BLANKS’ ITEM
and THE CIA  ITEM
because since I visited BOTH sites consecutively,
I wanted them to know it was for research for items…
and it’s NOT necessary to investigate me,
or add it to MY ‘un-official’ file.

I MIGHT HAVE BEEN TALKING
ABOUT ANOTHER CIA…


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H’okay

I’m off work this coming week…
GONNA  RELAX & RECHARGE
Haven’t had any real time off since last October.

SCHEDULE

Sleep till 10
Have breakfast/lunch/brunch
Listen to RON & FEZ 11-3pm

AFTER THAT THE DAY’S SHOT
SO I’LL JUST LAY AROUND,
MAYBE NAP A BIT,
AND THEN GO TO BED !!!

Someone needs to be organized !!!

HOW  DO  I  DO  IT ?

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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