† RIP Renfield #611 – FOURTH of JULY †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 611 – FOURTH of JULY †

July 2, 2011

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I have to rush thru another issue…

Oh… HAPPY 4th of JULY !!!

Seems I have family plans for the weekend…
a BIG bar-b-que for a visiting kid (from Boulder)
who’s inviting ALL his friends
(only 40 or 50 of his closest friends)
so HE won’t have to make-the-rounds !

AND WE GET TO THROW THE BIG BASH,
WHILE HE DOES GREETING DUTIES !

They’d better like their burgers cooked well-done,
that’s the only way I know how to bar-b-que !

SO YOU GOTTA TAKE WHAT I’M DISHING…
whether it’s food, or this ‘rushed’ issue…

(it’s one of those struggling for material weeks)

HAVE A FEW BEERS BEFORE READING…

IT’LL HELP !!!
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A R.I.P HISTORY LESSON TRIBUTE…
(so long ago, history was in black & white)

R.I.P

PRESIDENTS

JOHN ADAMS (2) & THOMAS JEFFERSON (3)
both died on July 4th, 1826 !

The 50th anniversary of the signing of
THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

To make a long story short, although they had worked together
in the cause for independence, Adams and Jefferson
became truly bitter enemies when political parties
began to form around each of them.

Luckily, Adams and Jefferson reconciled in their retirement
and they became the best of friends in their final years.
Both were conscious of living to see the 50th Fourth of July,
despite knowing they were both on their death beds,
they made genuine efforts to hang on until that day.

Five years to the day after Adams and Jefferson died
– on July 4, 1831 –
the fifth President, James Monroe, passed away.
So three presidents havedied on the same date:  July 4th.

One more Presidential fact about the Fourth of July.
Calvin Coolidge,the 30th President,
was born in Vermont on July 4th, 1872.

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THE  WEATHER ?

It’s still there,
but the forecasters have no friggin’ idea !

I think they ‘hide’ in the percentages…
If it rains and they said 20-80% chance…
THEY ARE CORRECT !
If it DOESN’T rain and the percentages are 20-80%…
THEY ARE ALSO CORRECT !

I’m see-ing a problem here…
and since all forecasters seem to use
the ‘gov’t-feed’ for their initial information…

THEY ALL FEED US THE SAME CRAP
AND SINK(mostly) or SWIM TOGETHER !

Even online I have to choose between forecasts
for cities on either side of me that are 15-20 miles away !

I DON’T REMEMBER THIS REGULAR INACCURACY
DECADES AGO BEFORE THE CURRENT TECHNOLOGY !

(weather items? go with it, I’m struggline to fill an issue)

by the way…

My ‘holiday-weather-theory’ strikes again !

Seems this 4 day holiday weekend had a 50% chance
of a thunderstorm on Sunday, the day looked decent.
HOWEVER, I woke to soaking rain for hours
that has slowed to a dark, cloudy drizzle…
THEY LIE IN CASE THEY’RE WRONG (good chance of that)
AND WOULD RUIN TOURIST SPENDING !
(at least I’m not cutting the grass)
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electronic cigarette substitute
expelling ONLY water vapor ?

BAN  IT  !!!

The mysterious THEY are looking
to put the same restrictions on them
as the burning, tar & nicotine, tobacco cigarettes !!!

GEEZ… GIVE US A BREAK !!!

It’s supposed to help you to quit
the evil, deadly cigarette !

ISN’T THAT THE MAIN GOAL ?


Oh… I get it !

If kids see someone with a gun,
they’ll kill somebody one day…

But what influence could sucking
on a phallic substitute for cigarettes have ?

It’s more of a toy, than a tobacco cigarette.
Plus, since they don’t work for most,
the fad will die on it’s own…

by the way…

There are smoking areas in NJ casinos again !
I guess ‘health’ loses out to ‘revenue’ every time !
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“There’s so much comedy on television.
Does that cause comedy in the streets?”
- Dick Cavett


“The men the American public admire most extravagantly
are the most daring liars;
the men they detest most violently
are those who try to tell them the truth.”
– H. L. Mencken
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GO MARCH…

Congrats on the gay marriage win in NYC,
but it would have happened in NYC years ago
if the ‘community’ would have been more pro-active !
Where other groups had to ‘fight’,
this one waits for the ‘powers’ to do what is right…

AND, LIKE ALWAYS, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT !
IT’S THE ‘LONG-WAY’ TO YOUR FINAL GOAL !

AND WITH THESE JOKERS AS YOUR REPRESENTATIVES
YOU’RE LUCKY IT WENT THRU THIS TIME !



Originating in New York City,

the Gay Pride Parade is just one rainbow-colored event
among many that goes on in NYC during Gay Pride Week.
Typically, the NYC Gay Pride Parade is held on the
last Sunday in June. Also celebrated about the same time
is the annual Gay Pride rally & the annual Dance on the Pier,
all culminating in  the big  parade
and the Pridefest street fair wrapping up Gay Pride Week.

I’m probably late with this one…
but I had a good laugh (on the governor of NY)
when someone suggested this headline
for the newspaper announcing the change…

” CUOMO  SAYS  WHAT ??? ”


ADDENDUM…

the parade isn’t the reason I was busy
last weekend and did an early,
abbreviated issue of RIP Renfield…
(I’m just sayin’)
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Ahhh.. New Brunswick, New Jersey
Know it well…
matriculated there at Rutgers College.
(graduated too)


The town is in the news…
Seems the local officials aren’t too happy
about the name of a new restaurant…

BUCK FOSTON’S  ROAD  HOUSE

(formerly a Bennigans)

For some reason, some think the place
wants to cater to NY Yankee fans
(or most anyone)
who doesn’t like the BOSTON Red Sox !
I’m quite familiar with a certain local chant…

” BOSTON SUCKS “

The ‘coding’ of the name isn’t fooling the mayor !
But the owner is prepared to go to court
over his freedom of speech rights,
and any similarity to foul language
is merely a coincidence !

The city conceded they don’t have the right
to stop the naming, but the transfer of the
liquor license isn’t going as quickly as it might !

THE REAL PROBLEM WITH THE NAME ?

A Boston fan or 2 might take exception to it,
and cause some trouble, or vandalize the place !

SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT TURN INTO A ROWDY PLACE !

one more thing ?

EXPECT THE ‘CITY’ TO ‘THROW THINGS’
IN THE WAY EVERY CHANCE THEY GET !
Don’t expect service or cooperation !

ROAD HOUSE ? more like.. ROAD BLOCK !

FANS ?

Someone was talking fans to me…
That Philadelphia fans are much worse than Sox fans.
THAT’S A GIVEN… PART OF PHILLY’S CHARM
I had to explain that I have nothing against Sox fans,
just regular, nice people mostly…
but that has nothing to do with what a rivalry is about !
IT’S THE TEAMS, NOT THE PEOPLE or PLAYERS !
(except, of course, for Denis Potvin of the NY ISLANDERS)
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I was just wondering ?

If YOU were invited to a gay wedding,
would YOU have any reservations about attending ?
Would you go, or would you make an excuse ?

WOULD IT BE AWKWARD FOR YOU ?
(men slow dancing with each other, making out?)
((do they throw a garter, a thong, a ‘bro-quet’ ?))
(((this marriage thing seems to be more a man thing)))

I’m all for THEIR rights to do whatever THEY want,
but, as it stands, it doesn’t ‘intrude’ on MY life !

For me, it’s not a problem…

I stopped going to weddings & other affairs decades ago !
So, to skip a ‘gay’ affair would be just another ‘miss’ for me !
I’m occasionally ‘FORCED’ to go to a VERY close
relative’s affair, but it’s the exception rather than the rule.
(hey, I don’t drink, dance, or schmooze at these things)

I BOUNCED THIS OFF A CO-WORKER…
I sometimes do that to ‘fine-tune’ an item”
and he had the right answer immediately…

” FREE FOOD, FREE BOOZE, I’M THERE !!! ”

And you just can’t argue with his logic !

addendum…

I’m still not over the strange-ness (to me)
of orthodox jewish wedding receptions
where men dance in one room, women another…
IF I’m forced to dance, it’s with a woman !
(or one close-by)
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OKAY…

Maybe last week,  I was too brief
with the PETER FALK RIP death tribute…

So…

COLUMBO’S FIRST NAME ?

FRANK

His police ID was shown in a ‘test’ commercial-introduction
when they were pitching the show to studio execs.

Satisfied now ?

okay… 1 more

My favorite Peter Falk line was from
POCKET FULL OF MIRACLES
with him playing a ‘Damon Runyon’ type gangster…
(strictly for laughs)
After being on the receiving end of a barb
from Hope Lange,  Falk replies…

” IF YOU WUZ A MAN,
I’D KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE STOMACH ! “
(you had to be there)
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I HAVE NO IDEA OF THE
ACTUAL CIRCUMSTANCES ON THE SCENE…
(I’m just commenting on the newspaper story)

I’d like to start with saying that I have every sympathy
for the family of the young women killed
in a hit-and-run accident in NJ.
IT WAS HORRIBLE & SENSELESS…
The family showed up with 50 supporters
at the driver’s arraignment… FURIOUS !
‘SATAN’ killed their princess !
I’m sure they want the DEATH PENALTY
for this scum-of-the-earth, cold-blooded killer !

THAT SAID…

The ONLY reason I can see for the guy
to leave the scene was that he had a few drinks in him
and would take his chances getting away,
or minimally getting caught the next day
with NO alcohol in his system.
(and greatly ‘upping’ his prison time)

I say the ONLY reason, since had he stayed,
I think they would have called it a tragic accident
and not file ANY charges at all !

THE ACCIDENT ?

The 23 year old woman was in a car with her boyfriend
late on a friday nite at 1 am.
Her boyfriend’s car hit a dog and injured him.
He pulls over (down the road a piece?),
she gets out, and is attending the dog
IN THE ROAD
and this other poor jerk, driving along,
minding his own business,
HITS & KILLS HER !
(it didn’t sound as if she arrived at the hospital alive)
WHO EXPECTS SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD
AT 1AM ON A FRIDAY NITE ?
Her boyfriend ‘nailed’ a dog on the same stretch of road !
PROBABLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD TOO !
So conditions were ‘ripe’ for trouble !

A RICH MAN IN THIS SITUATION
HAS A LAWYER THAT MAKES IT GO AWAY,
THIS GUY MIGHT DO HEAVY-DUTY TIME !

The boyfriend wasn’t very bright in this situation…
if she needed to help the struck animal so badly…
he should have circled back,
blocked the road with his car,
and put on his emergency flashers
to protect HER and the DOG !

A SHAME THAT SOMEONE DIED…

but not the crime the family would
like the (friendly) court to prosecute !

THERE’S BLAME TO GO AROUND !
(mostly from stupidity)
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NICE  NECKLACE…


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YER GETTIN’ THERE…

someday you’ll have a ‘necklace’ too !
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NOW THAT I’VE TOTALLY

BUMMED YOU OUT…

(did the boobs help?)

(I’ve been repeating a few old stories, here’s another)
((for the ‘newer’ readers))

I had an incident with some ‘road kill’ too.
I left the house for work 7:30 one morning.
Driving down the long suburban street
that leads to the main road…
I SAW A BLACK CAT, DEAD IN THE ROAD !
I drove on without stopping, looking in the rearview…

COULD IT BE MY CAT ?   BAXTER ?

I decide to go back… and sure enough…
black cat (flattened), right size,
white boots and mustache…

” aww.. baxter you stupid cat…”
I COULDN’T LEAVE HER THERE…

I took a plastic bin out of the back of my car,
scooped up the remains, and drove back home…
I showed my wife… she was upset too…
we put the covered bin by the garbage
at the side of the house (so the kids wouldn’t see)…

I get a call at work a few hours later…
Seems my wife opened the door to the deck,
and BAXTER came walking into the house !!!
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A GHOST AT FIRST !

VERY SHOCKING !!!

Oh, there was still a dead black cat on the side
of the house, it was just a very similar looking
black cat, a stupid one, that had gotten run over !

BAXTER IS STILL AROUND,
SPRY AS A KITTEN,
I THINK SHE’S AROUND 15 YEARS OLD !
(and knows how to play in traffic)
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http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(I’m even allowed to post with the BIG SHOTS!)
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re:  ABBEY  ROAD:

http://www.abbeyroad.com/visit/

We’ve run this before …
the live  street-cam at the infamous (and infectious!)
intersection / street crossing
in front of Abbey Road  Studios in London …
where (pretty much any time of day)
you’ll find fans  “doing the walk” and posing!
(kk)

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RADIO  CONTEST

(ron and fez)

With MYSPACE, purchased for $585 million,
being sold for $35 million (approx)…

A radio host wondered why it was abandoned
so quickly & totally !
If you want to see what someone was doing
2 years ago.. check their myspace…
(almost impossible to delete your account)
Accounts sit there in-active and show
a snapshot into the past !

(great for your new ‘partner’ to see your old ‘partner’
or the nonsense you were up to back then)

ANYWAY…
THERE WAS A CONTEST…

A prize would be awarded to the FIRST person,
with an ACTIVE Myspace page, to call the show !

(ACTIVE = VERY recent use for inter-acting with people)

DIAL TONES & YEARS-LONG INACTIVITY
WERE THE BEST THEY DID !

After 20 minutes and NO clear winner,
they gave it to someone just to end the contest !

PS – MINE JUST SITS THERE TOO !
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and so as the last embers

of the holiday fireworks fade out…

THEN THE LONG WALK IN THE DARK
BACK TO THE CAR,

THEN SITTING IN A TRAFFIC JAM
WITH EVERYONE ELSE LEAVING,

Getting home, tired, annoyed, & bug bit…
Pretending that you had a good time…
and forgetting all about it
until next year when you load the car up AGAIN
for 4th of July fireworks !

HAVE A BEER, RELAX…

FALL ASLEEP IN YOUR FAVORITE CHAIR
WATCHING TV… (a good lawyer show)

NOW THAT’S CELEBRATING !
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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