† RIP Renfield #610 – SUMMER BEGINS †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 610 – SUMMER BEGINS †

June 25, 2011

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Happy Summer Everyone !

Maybe YOU’LL have as extended a holiday
as the summer-ready school teachers one day !

I’ve got things to do this weekend,

so I might cut things short…

(relatively short for ME anyway)

SO  AWAY  WE  GO  !
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PETER  FALK  is dead !!!

R.I.P

HE WAS COLUMBO…

BRIEF ENOUGH FOR YA ?
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LAW & ORDER

I read with amusement a story from
some cities in California
who want to NOT RENEW contracts
for servicing TRAFFIC CAMERAS !

Seems that accident statistics are down,
but rear-end accidents from stops at traffic lights
weren’t included in the statistics.

Additionally… somehow it’s a money losing operation !
It’s costing $5-6 MILLION but only brining in $3-4 MILLION !
(like NYC losing money on off-track betting,
or Atlantic City casinos losing money.. geesh)

THEY ARE LEARNING THEIR LESSON
ON THE LEFT COAST,
WHILE HERE IN New Jersey,
WE’RE PLAYING CATCH-UP !
(cameras here are just coming into vogue)

JUST IN TIME TO LOSE MORE MONEY WE DON’T HAVE !

One last thing…

An average ticket in California costs $400.
Someone I know got a ticket here for $140 !
(and California is the one losing money)

WHEW.. WE’RE GOING TO LOSE OUR SHIRTS
UNTIL THEY COME TO THEIR SENSES !!!
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POLICE CARS

I’m not a fan of police cars
that are not easily identified as police cars…
(the sleek, no light on top ones)
Unless it’s purely for financial gain,
VISIBLE police cars FORCE  traffic around them
to stick to the law… it’s a waste for police cars
to blend so well into traffic,
you don’t know it’s one unless it’s next to you !
(unless on an undercover mission)
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I HAVE TO GET OUT MORE

A highway information sign
alerted the traffic to a SILVER ALERT
for a car with Florida plates with plate number.

I HAD HEARD OF AMBER ALERTS,

BUT NEVER A SILVER ALERT !

I only found one person who heard of them,
and he said they’ve been around for several years !
(hell of a bad job advertising them)

I ASKED IF THERE WERE OTHER COLORS !

SILVER  ALERT ?

Instead of a kid, they’re looking for a senior citizen.
AMBE ALERT is the one looking for a kid !
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I’m starting to thing

that ALL I do is complain !

(nah)

I just saw that the less-than-sterling
PRESIDENT of RUTGERS UNIVERSITY (nj)
is going to retire after his lackluster tenure.
(during which a bullying-suicide was world-wide news)

He’s going to take a sabatical (vacation) for a bit…
Then return to the University in a  teaching role…

GET THIS…

Not teaching a professional or technical or scientific course,
he’ll be paid $300,000 per year
(in addition to his pension & benefits of course)
to teach a HISTORY course !

MAYBE THAT’S WHAT THEY PAY EVERYBODY ?

YEAH, RIGHT !!!

I’ll put money on him being paid at the HIGH end !

I don’t believe he has any ’special’ insight…

HE’S NO HENRY KISSINGER !

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS !!!

In this economy ?
(in ANY economy)
TUITION CONSTANTLY INCREASING ?

A SNOOKIE scandal, getting $32,000

for a non-commencement speech?



(a law is proposed to ban honorariums)

AND ON TOP OF THAT ?

The governor of New Jersey
ONLY makes $175,000 per year !

SHAME ON THE SPOILS OF HIGHER EDUCATION !



You ‘connected educators’ in the ‘good-old-boy (girl?) system,
that hide in universities
would never survive in the real world,
where you’d be lucky to be paid what you’re worth !
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My (grown) nephews were over,
hanging in MY room…
admiring my ‘cool stuff’ collection of a lifetime !

When they got to my katana (sword),
my daughter called them off…
my son already ‘took’ the katana
as his first pick after I die !

A few years back I found out that my sisters
were already claiming things from my elderly mother…
Mom said to write your name on a tag and stick it on !
(a little morbid, but actually not a bad thing to do,
you should down-size & arrange for your ’stuff’)
I told the newphews that I picked a rock (I like rocks).
There’s a giant more round than egg-shaped white rock
that’s been in front of my parent’s house since the 50’s.

I didn’t think anything of it till the next day…
but after the ‘egg story’…
my nephews started choosing what they wanted
from MY menagerie of cool stuff !

HUH ?

I’M THINKING OF CALLING TO ASK…

” IS THERE SOMETHING THEY’RE NOT TELLING ME ? “

” IS IT STUFF THEY PLAN TO ACQUIRE SOON ? ”
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I’ve mentioned before that I stopped
coloring and cutting my hair January, 2009…

(long story… I’ll save it)

((I’m making a statement))

I started going gray in my 20’s…
colored it in my 30’s till the present…
and now I’m a white-haired pony tail guy !

I needed to show my VALID driver’s license
for whatever reason to my employer.

He looked at the photo of the guy on it
with the brown-haired, businessman’s haircut
(my first photo license from November 2008)
and said…

” I need your current license,

not one from 20 years ago !  ”

Funny line, even funnier that there seems to be
little, or no, memory of my former brown locks !
(from a very short time ago)
((guess my hairdresser did a good job… no ons suspected))
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EVERBODY’S a comedian…

from DADDYO…

” YOU FORGOT THE COMMA BETWEEN

‘NICE’  and  ‘DICK’

What Hillary once said to me…

“  NICE  DICK !!!  ”

becomes

” NICE, DICK…”
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I’m having a slight case of…

TINNITUS

(a first for me)

My cell phone has a ‘clangy’ bell ringer…
(if it doesn’t sound like a phone, I wont’ answer it)
I’ve heard the same ringtone on CSI:NY.
(it always gets me to reach for MY phone)

ANYWAY…

I first noticed the TINNITUS from the air conditioning
of a newer car.  With headphones on,
the sound of the fan of the AC
was making the same ringing sound !
It took a while for me to learn to ignore it…
I just heard it for the first time with NO headphones
and in my house emanating from a large air conditioner !

MAYBE I NEED MY EARS CLEANED !

(anybody got a really long tongue?)

Last time I cleaned them,
I did such a thorough job,
I crashed to the ground pulling down the shower curtain,
and had to sit there for half-an-hour
before the dizzy-ness passed enough to get up !

MAYBE I’LL LET THE DOCTOR TO IT

(I have an appointment in September)
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I GOT SOME BAD NEWS
FOR ANYONE THAT BELIEVES
IN AN AFTER-LIFE !

You’d better opt for cremation,
or sealing your un-embalmed body in a box !

It has been determined that

FORMALDEHYDE

IS A CANCER HAZARD !

So, there you are, sending your non-cancerous body
to the after-life pumped full of that carcinogen
that’s going to eat away at your wings !

MAKE SURE YOU DON’T PLAN TO
SMOKE CIGARETTES IN HEAVEN !
(a double whammy)

If you DO smoke in heaven,
please go to the designated cloud.

ACTUALLY…

IT’S BETTER IF YOU DON’T GO,

JUST STAY HERE
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http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with the BIG SHOTS!)

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the new tv show corner…
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LOUIE

Even if there were something good on tv,
this show would still lead the pack !

I’m not a fan of reality shows (at all)
but if you like ’scripted’ reality
(yeah right, off the cuff ? bullshit)
THIS show has ‘real’ reality !
It’s very easy to recognize & empathize
what you should have done, or said…
or just crazy things we face at one time or another.

BUT MOST OF ALL, LOUIE IS FUNNY !

Funny, touching, even heart-warming at times…
SOME REALLY GOOD STUFF !

I’m ALL-IN for this show’s 2nd season !
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AND WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT…

I find a 2nd show that I’ll purposely look for,
and it’s on the same time as LOUIE !
Louie is on the Fx Channel, thursdays, 10:30
and from 10-11pm the same nite?
(I record one for later viewing)

SUITS

A little too slick and fast paced at times,
the premier episode was entertaining.
They included alot of ‘baggage’
that will probably bog down the show later,
but the first shows should be good,
they may get a whole season out of me….
(it might run years though)

The cable channels have no problem
running other hour-long drama series
for multiple years even though they really suck !

NUTSHELL…

An arrogant high-priced attorney,
from an even more lofty, cut-throat, posh firm,
hires a troubled young man as an associate
with no law degree, who is brilliant
and has a photographic memory
(and understands it all too) !
His lack of degree must be hidden from the firm
(lots of back-stabbing weasels there)
IS THERE SOME HOMAGE TO BOSTON LEGAL
IN THE SHOW AND CHARACTERS ?
(perhaps)
I think the show will become very tedious
after a while, but the beginning shows
might be fun to hang in for.

A FLAW IN THE SCRIPT?

The FIRM is huge, whole skyscraper floors,
seems like a hundred (or so) employees,
their own medical facility on site…
(for regular drug testing)
multi-million dollar cases flow like water…
and this MAJOR outfit…

DOESN’T ASK TO SEE (and copy)
A NEW ATTORNEY’S DIPLOMA,
OR AT LEAST A TRANSCRIPT OF HIS GRADES ?
(for his file if not to check on him?)

SEEMS A BIT OUT OF CHARACTER
FOR THE PRESTIGIOUS FIRM
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WELL, I’M DONE…

too busy (and annoyed)
to put in any more effort this week…

AND
I don’t see next week being any better…
I’ll be happy to get as much
packed into next week’s issue…

Hmmm…

MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE AN INSANITY DAY OFF ?

I’VE ONLY MISSED 2 ISSUES IN 12 YEARS,
IT MIGHT BE TIME !

I guess you’ll have to take a break from your
Summer pleasures and go the opposite way
and check out next week’s issue…

DID HE OR DIDN’T HE ?
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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