† RIP Renfield #598 – BASEBALL BEGINS †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 598 – BASEBALL BEGINS †

April 2, 2011

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PEOPLE STARTING TO THING BASEBALL ?

I’m starting to ‘think’ RIP Renfield…

at the website   www.RIPRenfield.com
I had the NEVER BEFORE joy of breaking
the thousand HIT mark !!!

A REAL GRAND SLAM !!!

Yep, 1083 hits in ONE day !
(and a lot of return business)

It may never happen again…
but I hit the ‘high’ note at least once !

THE OTHER ‘JOY’ I EXPERIENCED ?

I ‘google imaged’ GARY RENFIELD, RIP Renfield,
I even share space with the original
when I ‘google image searched’ just plain RENFIELD…

Whoa !!!

I’m ‘plastered’ ALL over the place !!!
(mabye I need a lower ‘image’ profile to stay out of trouble?)

I GUESS AFTER 12 YEARS
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
SOME KIND OF ‘FOOT-PRINT’
(and I got BIG feet these days)
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R.I.P

Duke Snider



He was the Hall of Fame center fielder for the charmed
“Boys of Summer”
who helped the Dodgers bring their elusive
and only World Series crown to Brooklyn.

“The Duke of Flatbush” hit .295 with 407 career home runs,
played in the World Series six times and won two titles.
But the 8-time All-Star was defined by much more than his stats -
he was, after all, part of the love affair between Brooklyn
and “Dem Bums” who lived in the local neighborhoods.

Ebbets Field was filled with stars such as
Pee Wee Reese, Roy Campanell and Gil Hodges
during that 1955 championship season.
Yet it is Snider’s name that refrains in the ballpark favorite
“Talkin’ Baseball.”

“Willie, Mickey, and the Duke,”  marks its 30th anniversary this year.

http://uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/456784

THOSE WERE THE DAYS !


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boys of summer ‘RE-RUNS’…

Some great re-runs of old sit-coms on tv these days.

Duke Snider on FATHER KNOWS BEST
Don Drysdale on LEAVE IT TO BEAVER
Sandy Koufax on DENNIS THE MENACE
and haven’t seen it lately…
but
LEO DUROCHER on  THE MUNSTERS

and I even saw ‘aging’ footballer…
Frank Gifford on HAZEL
(1st wife, kathie lee born yet?, no ’spring chicken’ in 1962)

BALL PLAYERS JUST DON’T
SHOW UP ON TV SHOWS PLAYING THEMSELVES
THE WAY THEY USED TO !

Did I mention that I own (ebay)
a copy of Life Magazine from 1954
with Willie Mays on the cover
and the inside story touting..’the catch’ ?

YEP… I GOT IT !!!
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geraldine ferraro ?

eh… the ‘original’ sarah palin…

EVER HEAR THE WORD ‘SCRUTINY’ ?

She accepted the nomination even though
she had a closet full of ’skeletons’ !
(ruined ANY chances without opening her mouth)

husband with questionable business practices
(indicted for felony, convicted of fraud)

and

a son known on his college campus as
THE CANDY MAN
did his 4 month incarceration for drug sales
in a vermont luxury condo with maid service…

I SAID IT THEN

I SAY IT NOW

FERRARO SET WOMEN IN POLITICS BACK DECADES !

SHE SHOULD HAVE NEVER ACCEPTED THE NOMINATION !
(palin too?)
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the DOCTOR is in…

I’m worried that the show has been TOO MUCH over-the-top !
Problems just never seem ’small’ anymore…

HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAVE THE UNIVERSE
UNTIL YOU BURN OUT ?

How about a nice baseball show ?
Save Babe Ruth from aliens, or something…
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I’ve read that more & more states
have measure-able amounts of radiation
from Japan in their air & water…

WE’RE NOT SURE YET HERE IN NEW JERSEY !

So hard to tell Japan ‘pollution’
from the shit THIS state generates on its own !

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wacky commercial ?

Some lawn fertizer company
declares that…

GRASS DOESN’T JUST TURN GREEN
BECAUSE OF THE SEASON…

YOU NEED THEIR PRODUCT FOR THAT !


FOR THE RECORD
Uh… I’ve never used their product
and somehow my lawn turns green EVERY year !
And I think I’ve seen a few wooded areas & fields
that seem to have no problem in the right SEASON !

LIKE BASEBALL SEASON !!!

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ROTTEN  KIDS …

I went for pizza on a Saturday afternoon…
There was a birthday party for a bunch of little kids
going on, and as I walked in…

THEY SPOT ME
and the next thing you hear are cheers !!!
and
” HOORAY, THE CLOWN IS HERE !!! “



I think I should be insulted ?
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RADIATION ?

I was pooh-poohed by some, ahem, ‘gentleman’ I work with
who overheard me suggest that the Japanese radiation
is a real threat to them, us, and the world…

He brought up 3 MILE ISLAND (much closer to me).
Uh… that was kinda contained in a few days
and didn’t foul the ocean (not the same thing).
Even Chernobyl wasn’t as bad as Japan
(and Chernobyl was, and STILL is, awful).

Next I was considered a conspiracy nut
because I questioned the info released to us.
Uh… The Japanese Gov’t has the power company’s
feet-to-the-fire for lie-ing & providing false readings !
But, to be truthful,
if we’re all going to die, why cause a panic !
If funky cancers take decades to develop,
I guess the human race will survive !
(although I’d hate to be pregnant right now, or EVER)

2 NUKES WERE SET OFF IN JAPAN TO END WW2,
HAS ANYONE MADE THE ‘FALL-OUT’ COMPARISON
TO THE CURRENT DISASTER ?

ONE LAST THING…

The levels of radiation reaching the USA
(if being told correct info)
is supposed to be the same as an X-ray.
Uh… is that the same as ONE X-ray a year?
One a month?   One a day?  One an hour ?
Even the dentist doesn’t take X-rays EVERY year !
(the radiation effect on you kinda adds up)

THE RADIATION LEVELS ARE PRESENTED AS MINIMAL,
BUT CAN THEY BE DISMISSED AS MERELY AN ANNOYANCE ?

THERE’S GONNA BE ONE HUMONGOUS
DEAD-ZONE IN JAPAN
WHEN THE (radioactive) DUST SETTLES !

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ADDENDUM
They guy from work falls into the ‘B-D’ category.
He knows what he knows,
and gets loud & sarcastic if he doesn’t agree with you !
(no room for ANY criticism of HIS guy, or opinion, even if deserved)

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(cowboy-type)

WESTERNS

Loved them as a kid,
now?
I’ve lost ALL interest in the genre…

From PALADIN to TRUE GRIT(2011)

I can’t even fake an interest !!!

I’ll confess to a few tears at the end of

THE MAN THAT SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE

but I’m definitely NOT sitting thru the entire movie !

(most of THE SHOOTIST though)
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and as for ELIZABETH TAYLOR ?

I never thought of her as a GREAT beauty !
Don’t get me wrong.. it’s not age…
(I’d have ‘banged’ Barbara Stanwyck when she was 80)
I’m thinking a lot has to due with me being a young child
and see-ing Liz (and Dick) work thru their alcoholism,
and just being sloppy messes (ala Lindsay Lohan).
Plus the styles & look of the day don’t ‘reach’ me !

NATIONAL VELVET ?  She’s very pretty !

But, for beauty (and appeal) in a kid actress ?
GIVE ME MARGARET O’BRIEN EVERYTIME !



and what’s this about ELIZABETH TAYLOR ?

She had the ’scoop’ on James Dean
but made her confidant promise NOT to reveal
his ’secrets’ until AFTER her death…

SO WHAT DOES THIS ‘BASTARD’ FRIEND DO ?

The ’scoop’ is put in the press so fast that
I DON’T THINK LIZ WAS IN THE GROUND YET !
(might have still been warm?)

Sounds like Liz’s ’secrets’ weren’t exclusive
and there was a race to see who would
get credit for revealing them FIRST !!!
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IN OTHER HOLLYWOOD NEWS…

Lindsay Lohan’s mother has revealed that her
(is she really a star?) bad-girl actress daughter,
as a way of distancing herself from her father
(who has his own problems, legal & otherwise)
has decided to go by ONLY one name…

LOHAN

No, actually, she want to ‘brand’ LINDSAY as her own…
Like CHER & MADONNA & PRINCE…
(personally, I see her name as too common to claim)


YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ?

Who has her convinced that she’s relevant ?
She’s a circus act… like Charlie Sheen…
with everyone waiting for the final ‘car wreck’ !

JUST IN…

John Travolta is switching to just   ‘JOHN’
and Cher is just going to go by her initial ‘C’
So Cher now becomes the ‘C’ WORD !!!
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Letterman got off a good one the other nite…

DID YOU HEAR WHERE THEY FOUND
THE ESCAPED COBRA AT THE BRONX ZOO ?

answer:

INSIDE  LINDSAY  LOHAN’S  PURSE
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on the good side ?


Expect something innovative
when the (nuclear) dust settles in Japan !

With even the reclusive emperor saying
that nuclear energy might not be
the way to continue to go…

I can see the ‘recovering’ Japan
finding SOLUTIONS to large scale energy supplies
in areas other than nuclear or fossil fuel !
If they turn their collective intelligence toward the solution
as a national necessity… and damn the oil,
their world saving contribution might be the ONLY good
to come from a nation (world?) crippling disaster !!!

RISE FROM THE ASHES ?

I’m hoping the call will be as much a legacy
as when they made JFK’s moon landing
within the decade a reality !
(Would it have been as much a priority, if not for JFK?)
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how times have changed…

but forget about her for now…

Antenna TV was showing
DIVORCE AMERICAN STYLE (1967)
the other morning while I was getting ready for work.
An awful movie… and you’d think that the thing
that would make the biggest impression on me
was the change of attitude when it comes to divorce !

WHAT I FOUND MOST SHOCKING
WAS WHEN ‘newly divorced’, pauper of a survivor,
DICK van DYKE
had to fend for himself when it came to meals,
went to a McDonald’s,
ordered a double cheese-burger, fries, & a drink,
and was told his TOTAL bill came to…

67 cents !!!

FUCK THE DIVORCE ANGLE…

THOSE WERE THE DAYS !

ACTUALLY…

I still remember when divorce was shocking,
it was a ticket to hell (better to take the beating),
and you didn’t even know anyone who was divorced !
Even the kids of divorce were pariahs !

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WATCH OUT SENILITY !!!

One of my BIG fears is ‘losing it’  !

I’ve seen some cases around my family,
and to tell you the truth…
it’s easiest on the one who has it !

THE ONES WHO HAVE TO DEAL WITH
THE VICTIM HAVE THE HEADACHES
(and heart-aches)

My fear isn’t either of those…

I’m worried that I’ll be un-controllably
singing the ‘alternate’ song lyrics I sing
in the privacy of my car in front of family
and the hospital staff !


FOR EXAMPLE…
(I’ll use a ‘tame’ one)

THE SHOOP SHOOP SONG…
(original)
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW
IF HE LOVES YOU SO
IT’S IN HIS KISS
(that’s where it is)

(MY lyrics?)

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW
IF HE LOVES YOU SO
IT’S IN HIS PANTS
(that’s where it is)

Which reminded me (for some reason)
of my favorite ‘revenge’ (or ‘fun thing’)
to say to a woman…

I use it sparingly, and have gotten a punch
on the arm for being a wise guy…
(I warn them first & usually get challenged)

I say…

” THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE ‘INTIMATE’
WITH YOUR HUSBAND (or boyfriend),
WHATEVER YOU DO… DO NOT THINK OF ME !!! “

I’m sure I get a regular spot on the ‘fantasy carousel’ rotation,
or at least break the mood…

HEY FEMALE READERS…

DON’T THINK OF ME NEXT TIME !!! (wink,wink)
(I SUCK)

addendum…

NO ONE EVER ARGUES THE POINT
WHEN I SAY (aloud) THAT I SUCK !

aslo…
I got this concept from the old Superman tv show.
They needed a mexican bank manager to think
of the safe combination, so the mind-reading-burro
could read his mind and tap out the combo.
They told him NOT to think of the combination,
so it’s all he DID think of.
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http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/
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They have some great ‘green’ ideas for NYC.

Bike lanes ?

Fewer cars, less pollution, exercise…

and REVENUE !!!

Could it be the reason for ‘pushing’ license plates
for bicycles isn’t safety, or property recovery…

IT’S FOR A TICKET BLITZ !!!

Seems to be a war on bicycle riders !
(motor vehicle rules apply to bikes)

I’M THINKING THEY DID THE SAME THING IN ROME
BEFORE ROME FELL !!!
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Just heard…

LOUIE
starring louis c.k.

IS BACK WITH NEW SHOWS IN JUNE !!!

AND HE’S A BASEBALL FAN !!!

Try to catch last season (the first)
If you’re unlucky enough to hit a ‘dead-spot’
hang in there… funniest, most original stuff
I’VE SEEN IN A LONG, LONG TIME !
(not your standard sit-com)

http://vod.fxnetworks.com/watch/louie
(some video clips)
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psst…

the thousand daily hits settled back
to under, but near, a thousand,
shortly after the setting the record,
but the thousand mark has been achieved
more than the one time since them…
(in addition, there’s still my size-able email subscription list)

DOIN’ O’KAY ‘DESE DAYS !!!

Also got an anniversary issue
coming up in 2 weeks…

GET READY for ISSUE 600 !!!

wow… another landmark !!!
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I’m so ‘revved-up’ about it…

I might have to go out and throw the ball around…

or take batting practice !!!

ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES…

AND I’M OUT

(of here)
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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