† RIP Renfield #595 – St. Patrick – MELTDOWN †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 595 – St. Patrick – MELTDOWN †

March 12, 2011

———————

-
-
-
-
After I finish this issue
I’m sitting down to a home-made
CORNED BEEF & CABBAGE dinner…
(specialty of the house)
Having not grown up IRISH,
it’s a custom (holiday?) I easily fell into.
Even though I don’t have the alcoholic gene.
(I also skip the parade, I hate parades)

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS’ DAY
-
-
-
-
______________________
-
-
-
-

I COULD SAVE THIS BANNER FOR IT’S OWN ISSUE,
BUT I’M THINKING I’D BETTER GET IT IN FAST…
IN CASE THE END OF THE WORLD
SNEAKS UP ON US !!!

(the radiation can circumnavigate the world,
ever see, or read, ON THE BEACH ?)

anyway… our thoughts & prayers
go out to the surivors & the dead
from the earthquake-tsunami devastation,,,

R.I.P where appropriate !



‘NUFF SAID !!!
-
-
-
-
___________________________

-
-
-
-
NUCLEAR REACTOR  MELTDOWNS  IN  JAPAN ???

It looks very possibly we can expect
the core meltdowns of the nuclear reactors to result in…

THE NEW JERSEY SYNDROME !!!

When it happened at 3 MILE ISLAND
they called it the CHINA SYNDROME.
The heat was supposed to burn a hole to CHINA !



But since it’s happening in JAPAN ?
If it burns thru the center of the earth,
and passes thru HELL,
it will eventually reach NEW JERSEY !!!

Therefore…

THE  NEW  JERSEY  SYNDROME  !!!



Taking the title away from

SNOOKIE & The SITUATION !
-
-
-
-
_________________________
-
-
-
-
Michio  Kaku

Professor of Theoretical Physics, CUNY



If you’re not familiar with this guy…
he makes a lot of radio & tv appearances
as expert to give scientific explanations
for everything from ’string theory’ to the tsunami.
HE’S THE FACE OF SCIENCE
(ala Carl Sagan)
Actually, he’s the co-founder of ’string-field-theory’ !

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michio_Kaku

ANYWAY… I heard him on the radio
and a ‘throw-away’ comment by him
on another subject caught my ear !

He said that the HUGE earthquake in CHILE
a few years ago (not the last one)
was strong enough to alter the axis of the earth !
(movement of large amounts of rock alter distribution of earth mass)

THAT MEANS THAT NO MATTER HOW SLIGHT,
THE ‘ALTERATION’ WAS MEASURE-ABLE !

Which might explain some change in weather patterns
that I’ve noticed the last few years.
I’m a New Jersey boy my whole life,
I work outside, I’m very aware of ‘weather’…
MY WHOLE LIFE the weather we got
mostly travelled a band across the mid-USA,
hit Washington, DC, and then moved north
along the eastern seaboard states
until it reached (and passed) us here.

This last 2 years or so…
the ‘band’ of weather is farther north
and comes right across the country
(no turn at Washington).
Instead of us getting ‘weather’ on it’s way to NYC,
the bands of ‘weather systems’ don’t make turns.
NYC weather reports are more & more
NOT the weather we will see !
The ‘weather’ hits hardest NORTH of the city
with us at the bottom edge of systems
that rock the area !!!
THE SHIFT ISN’T GREAT,
BUT NOTICE-ABLE TO THE LOCALS !

I’m thinking that even if the ‘axis shift’ were miniscule,
it might be the reason for someone else getting OUR weather,
instead of the trek weather USED TO take !

I SHOULD CONTACT MICHIO…
he’d be all over this !

ADDENDUM…

I just read that the axis has shifted AGAIN !
The coast of JAPAN has moved 8 FEET !!!
And as with the last few seismic events…
the day is a micro-second or so shorter
than it was before the event !

IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD !!!

I’m taking the next ship out
that’s pointed anywhere near ORION !

We can re-group at Rigel !
-
-
-
-
_________________________
-
-
-
-
“Hugh Hefner is getting married soon.

She’s 24 and he’s 84,

so it may be an open-casket wedding.”

- David Letterman
-
-
-
-
_____________________________________
-
-
-
-
RENFIELD PREDICTS

THE FUTURE !!!

(if there is a future for us)

Product sales on television,
the ‘inventions’ you can’t live without ?
(food strainers, foot washers, tit hiders, etc)

I predict that the NEXT big selling point will be…
instead of paying SEPARATE shipping & handling
for the one you want AND the free one (yeah right)…

SOMEONE WILL COME UP WITH THE BRIGHT IDEA
THAT ALL SHIPPING AND HANDLING
WILL BE INCLUDED IN THE ADVERTISED PRICE !
(no hidden fees, just increased prices to cover it)

AND THEN ALL THE SELLERS
WILL JOIN THE FEEDING FRENZY !
-
-
-
_________________________
-
-
-
-
an interesting (non-nuclear) reaction…

In the course of a conversation,
I used the phrase… ‘brain-dead liberal’
to describe someone.
The 30-ish guy wasn’t sure if he was insulted
by my use of said phrase.

I think it a very ’spot-on’ description of some people.
By it, I mean a very far-leaning, tree-hugging,
dance around the maypole type-person,
who can sound almost sing-songy,
and who is convinced that people can be talked to
and be convinced of their agenda,
since people (including enemies) are reasonable.

You know, the king that’s a chore to be around
and that you have to make ‘allowances’ for…
since they seem to have originated
from another planet that did not grow-up
with the same ‘reference points’ as normal people.


I DON’T THINK THE GUY I WAS TALKING TO

WAS HAPPY UNTIL I MADE

BRAIN DEAD = EXTREME

(views are rote, a given, the party line, no ‘processing’ needed)

Which I actually DO accept as part of the definition.
BRAIN DEAD can include…

CONSERVATIVES
RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS
CHARLIE SHEEN FOLLOWERS

I actually know a VERY conservative Republican,
who, when challenged to name
a DEMOCRAT, any democrat,
who has done ANYTHING good for america…
HE WAS UN-ABLE TO !
As far as he was concerned, they didn’t exist !

AND ME ?

I don’t see how anyone can claim
total allegiance to any platform.
I can see someone being anti-abortion,
but pro-death penalty, even though
supposedly ALL life is sacred.

CONSERVATIVE – LIBERAL

It’s an injustice to be all the way to one side
or the other.  In MY world, most of the population
falls somewhere between the two !

JUST LIKE…

FAT THIGHS vs. THIN THIGHS on women ?

I prefer someplace in the middle !

-
-
-
________________________

-
-
-
-
SPEAKING OF BRAIN-DEAD LIBERALS…

thanks dad, I love you too…

A U.S. teenager has been charged with a felony,
and could face a two-year prison sentence if convicted,
for killing her family’s pet hamster, authorities said.

Monique Smith, 19, of Brooklyn was arguing with a family member
in June when she reached for the hamster, choked it
and threw it outside the house, police said on Wednesday.

She was arrested following an investigation after Smith’s father
contacted the America Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

“Sadly, very often, pets find themselves in the middle of these situations.”
“A family will have a disagreement and unfortunately the animal
is the recipient of misdirected or redirected rage.”

ISN’T IT BETTER TO RAGE AGAINST A NON-HUMAN ?
(if there is rage to dissipate?)


” The hamster died from blunt force trauma,
liver damage and a brain hemorrhage. “

OH GREAT.. HAMSTER AUTOPSIES NOW !

How much of my taxes go for that ?

YOU CAN GET LESS TIME FOR ASSAULTING
A HUMAN BEING….
SHE SHOULD HAVE ‘POPPED’ HER DAD INSTEAD !

GEESH !!!

and just to calm you down…
I’m an animal love and don’t condone cruelty
to animals (or humans)… but c’mon…
it was a momentary rage,
not organized hamster fights !

ARREST, AUTOPSY, HARD TIME ?

Good thing she didn’t feed the hamster to her pet snake !
-
-
-
____________________________
-
-
-
-
they’re getting closer to ‘free’ EVERYTHING…

Just saw one of those tv sales pitches…
buy 1, get 1 free…

“ASK  ABOUT  FREE  SHIPPING”

(just pay for the handling… ZAP)

or is it .. ” ASK ”
and the answer is ” NO ” ?

I’m not sure why anyone’s in a hurry…
but there’s a chain-mall-store
that sells ALL these products eventually,
and right off the shelf, NO S & H !
In fact, I’ve seen many of the tv products
for sale in the STAPLES OFFICE STORE !

But since it’s all ‘garbage’…

the only time I actually bought a ‘tv’ product
was the time I got my mother a SNUGGIE as a XMAS joke !
-
-
-
________________________

-
-
-
-
I have the TV on and there’s
a crime show about the CRAIG’S LIST KILLER.
The show is interesting and factual…
but, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why
THEY KEEP REFERRING TO HIM AS
VERY HANDSOME or GOOD LOOKING !

He’s a big dorky guy with a bad haircut
and an odd nose…
For a guy on the street, he isn’t a goon,
but he’s no matinee idol either…
and I keep hearing about this handsome guy !

Perhaps attractive to some in a non-conventional way,
but not an across-the-board good-looking to everyone
who sees him walking down the street.

DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH HIS ‘BACKGROUND’
AND HIS BEING A MEDICAL STUDENT with MEANS ?
Does that add to your ‘looks quotient’ ?

OR DOES IT JUST MAKE A BETTER STORY ?

side note…

and as far as his surviving victims?
amazing that ‘trash’ appears on tv
like there is some worth to their existence.

BACK TO ‘LOOKS’…

I feel the same way about

NATALEE HOLLOWAY

She’s no beauty queen,
not a head turner who demands attention,
she’s also not a goon.
But BEAUTIFUL isn’t the first word
that comes to mind to describe her…
in fact, it isn’t any word I’d use to describe her…
SHE’S JUST AN AVERAGE, REGULAR GIRL !
and yet, you’ll never hear a story about her
without her beauty being mentioned.

I CAN’T BE THAT FAR OFF THE MARK…

REALLY…

IS IT ONLY TO MAKE A BETTER STORY ?
(or just throwing a ‘bone’ to the family?)
-
-
-
-
______________________
-
-
-
-
CSI: NY

In the past I’ve mentioned the big-titted
Medusa faced co-star of the show…
(not in a great light)

SHE WASN’T MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW.

So she moves on to ‘greener-pastures’
and is being replaced…

FOR ME?

IT COULD ONLY MAKE THE SHOW BETTER !

AND SOMEHOW THEY COME UP WITH AN ACTRESS
WHO IS FAIRLY ATTRACTIVE IN GOOGLE PICS…
but has this MOTHER SUPERIOR make-up (or lack of)
that makes her look odd… (especially something with the eyes).

THE SCREEN SWALLOWS HER UP…
VERY NON-DYNAMIC,
SEEMINLY LOST IN THE ROLE…
and who’s non-contribution & looks are so distracting
(you really don’t need a beauty, but this is ridiculous)
I can’t watch the show anymore !

The funny part is that the pic above
is the worst one I could find
and it’s non-recognize-able as the
face that appears on the show !

I’M AT A LOSS FOR A REASON
FOR WHY SHE LOOKS SO ODD ON THE SHOW,
EVERYWHERE ELSE SHE LOOKS NORMAL !
-
-
-
_____________________

-
-
-
-
I hate the subject
and stopped folllowing all things SHEEN…
but here’s my ‘outsiders’  2 cents worth …

CHARLIE SHEEN

seems to be all upset about being fired !

It could be the first sign of sanity shown in a while.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE ?
His former employers will probably be forced
to shower some cash on him anyway,

BUT…

IF HE HAD BEEN ARRESTED,
WOULDN’T IT HAVE MADE A BETTER CASE
FOR THE FIRING ?

WHICH BRINGS ME TO…

WHY WAS HE NEVER ARRESTED ?

He’s been found in hotel rooms with drugs & hookers,
he’s obviously not passing a drug test
(under the influence),
he’s made terroristic threats !
Knife at your wife’s throat?

JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS?

IF ANY OF US BEHAVED LIKE THAT
WE’D BE IN THE SLAMMER !
WHY ISN’T HE ?
(plus I’d be fired so fast your head would spin)

SEEMS AN EXTRA LONG PROCESS EVEN
FOR SOMEONE WHO DESERVES JAIL..

like LINDSAY LOHAN !

(at least she ’shows’ a good argument)
-
-
-
__________________________

-
-
-
-
I could go on… and on… and on…

like STEPHEN BISHOP…

(Down in Jamaica / They got lots of pretty women /
Steal your money / Then they break your heart / )

but there’s a CORNED-BEEF
with my name on it
CALLING TO ME !

So we’ll end this issue here…
short, sweet, entertaining?
(we can only hope)

I’m actually thinking I should pare
down issues to a size where readers
are more likely to read than to scan !

I’M WILLING TO LISTEN TO REASON…

Shhhh… I’m listening to reason !

Okay… I REALLY have to go now…

my dance team needs me…

Wearing a dress doesn’t bother me

(I got the legs for it)

but…

Toe dancing ?

OUCH !!!

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

+++++++++++++++++++++