† RIP Renfield #592 – PRESIDENTS DAY †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 592 –  PRESIDENTS  DAY †

Feb. 19, 2011

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Another Presidents Day

and I’d just like to say,
in celebration as I always do,

by declaring…

I HAVE THE DAY OFF !

I HAVE THE DAY OFF !

I HAVE THE DAY OFF !

I’d like to do one of those JFK celebrations
(like when Jackie is otherwise occupied)
but I don’t think it was meant to be for me…


On the one hand,

cheated since we no longer get off for
Lincoln & Washington separately…
but much better off than most
by getting a paid holiday !

I think I’ll start off the day by
SLEEPING LATE !
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I’d love to tell you that you will soon be reading
some of my best work…
but I’ve been in the doldrums lately…
after the depression let up…
I find myself with a lack of energy & motivation !

So apologies ahead of time…

I may be forced to play the ‘nudity’ card !
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ANYONE who appeared in one of my fav movies…
THE APRIL FOOLS
gets an automatic RIP tribute…

R.I.P

Kenneth Mars

Kenneth Mars was a funny guy used for some really way-out roles.
He was used & re-used by Mel Brooks for some of his romps.
He played a Hitler-worshipping playwright in “The Producers”
& a police inspector with a malfunctioning,
artificial arm in “Young Frankenstein.”

Mars’ nearly 50-year career included a long list of voice credits,
including “The Little Mermaid,” “The Jetsons”
and the “The Land Before Time” movies and TV series.

Among Mars’ other film credits were Woody Allen’s “Radio Days”
and “Shadows and Fog,” and Peter Bogdanovich’s “What’s Up, Doc.”
His extensive tv work featured regular roles on “Malcolm in the Middle,”
“Fernwood Tonight” and the 1960s series “He & She.”
On stage, appeared in such plays as “The Affair” & “Anything Goes.”

(donald and ivana?)

and, along with Melinda Dillon,

played the ‘odd’ upstairs neighbors of the
Donald Trump-type couple in

THE APRIL FOOLS !




addendum…

I was very surprised by the notice Mars’ death got !
I check up-to a half-dozen news sites almost daily,
and he was very prominently reported by all !!!
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NYC  NONSENSE…

(’working’ the people as usual)

There is a bit of an uproar because of
out-of-touch out-going Mayor Bloomberg…
(here’s to better luck as Mayor of Munchkin-land)

SEEMS TO BALANCE THE BUDGET
HE PROPOSES MASSIVE TEACHER LAYOFFS !
(if unnecessary, why were they hired in the first place?)

ARE PEOPLE THAT STUPID ?

My prediction?

He overstates, hems & haws…
and finally, begrudgingly cuts the number of layoffs
to half the original number, or a third.
Then both the city and the unions
can puff-their-chests as if they won the battle !

THE BIGGER PICTURE ?

Share the pain !
Make equivalent cuts at city hall,
and hack appointees (political payoffs?).
Such dire straits ?
CUT CITY HALL SALARIES BY 10 or 20 % !
THEN you’ll be one of us !

Instead… for your health?
more like raising money..
(they really don’t want you to quit smoking OR quit soda)
A PROPOSED TAX OF 1 cent per OUNCE for a ’sugared’ drink !
AND THEN CRY WHEN JOBS & TAX MONEY
ARE LOST BECAUSE PEOPLE STOP USING THE PRODUCT !
(btw – another dollar tax on cig’s… $13 a pack in NYC)

addendum…

BILLIONAIRE BLOOMBERG TAKES NO SALARY ?
He doesn’t, but the city doesn’t get the money back.
It’s split up among his supposedly wage-frozen upper-staff !
(well, that’s the story I heard years ago)
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ALSO IN NYC ?

They want to move the security check
to get to the STATUE of LIBERTY
from the NY side to ELLIS ISLAND.
(no problems on the NJ side)
SEEMS THERE ARE LONG LINES IN NY !

Hmmm..

Doesn’t this just shift the lines to another location ?

THE DIFFERENCE ?

Tourists see the long lines on the NY side
and wander off to other tourist venues.
Once they ‘boat’ you over to Ellis Island
they have your money,
and you are a captive audience !

THE STATUE IS STILL SAFE,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HUNDREDS
OF PEOPLE ON THE BOAT SHUTTLE ?

Like if a plane were headed for the WHITE HOUSE.
The WHITE HOUSE would be vacated,
and everyone in a bomb shelter…

BUT…
the air force shoots down the plane ?

FLAMING, EXPLOSIVE DEBRIS
RAINING DOWN ON UN-PROTECTED
NEIGHBORHOODS FULL OF PEOPLE !

THE CURE IS WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM !

WHAT A COUNTRY !!!

Thank goodness, the world ends next year…
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JUST A DARN MINUTE…

If it’s impossible, why threaten prosecution?

Misusing body scanner images would become
a federal crime punishable by up to a year in prison
under a proposal approved by the Senate.

It would prohibit anyone with access
to the scanned body images,
whether security personnel or members of the public,
from photographing or disseminating those images.
Besides a prison term,
violators could be fined up to $100,000 per violation.

WEREN’T WE ASSURED THAT
DUE TO THE DESIGN OF THE MACHINES
AND THE BRIEF TIME IN ‘THE BOX’…

THERE WAS NO LIKELIHOOD

OF ‘FUN-BOYS’ GETTING COPIES OF SCANS,
whether to ‘lust with’ or ‘laugh-at’ !


IT PAYS TO HAVE THE BEST MINIMAL WAGE
‘PROFESSIONAL’ GUARDS THEY CAN FIND !
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TISH GOTTA RUB IT IN….

In the doldrums

Meaning

In low spirits; feeling dull and drowsy.

Origin

The Doldrums is the region of calm winds,
centered slightly north of the equator and between
the two belts of trade winds, which meet there
and neutralize each other. It is widely assumed that the phrase
‘in the doldrums’ is derived from the name of this region.
Actually, it’s the other way about. In the 19th century,
‘doldrum’ was a word meaning ‘dullard; a dull or sluggish fellow’
and this probably derived from ‘dol’, meaning ‘dull’
with its form taken from ‘tantrum’. That is, as a tantrum
was a fit of petulance and passion,
a doldrum was a fit of sloth and dullness,
or one who indulged in such.

YEP… THAT’S IT !

THAT’S WHAT I GOT !!!
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OH.. THIS EXPLAINS IT…

Things always work as planned,
there are ‘rarely’ gaps…

Officials for the Homeland Security Department
have said the body scanners used by TSA workers
at airports are not capable of storing,
copying or transmitting images.
Each time a passenger is scanned,
the image of the previously scanned passenger is deleted.

However, 35,000 body scanner images made
at a Florida courthouse were retained and later released
in response to a Freedom of Information Act request.
About 100 of them were eventually posted online.

Officials for the U.S. Marshals Service have said
those images were made unintentionally…

THOSE LYING BASTARDS !!!


by the way…

It’s one-click simple on PHOTO-SHOP
to ‘recover’ a ‘realistic’ photo
from an airport scanned image !

and in the meantime…
see-ing security tightened…
terrorists can put-us-to-sleep until
we tire of ‘un-necessary’ security !
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IN HAPPIER NEWS…

Just read a news report

claiming that

OJ SIMPSON

was brutally beaten in prison?

Awww…

It must be terrifying to be attacked
by a criminal lunatic !
(well, that’s what Ron & Nicole would say if alive)

Fred Goldman should send flowers or something…

IF ONLY HE KNEW THE CELL NUMBER
OF THE BEATER ! ” ‘BEATER’
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GIVE US A BREAK !

Are they already tired of 24-7 Eqypt reporting ?

Seems PEPSI is NOW sending the WRONG message !

They are introducing a new can…

and the slim shape is being criticized,
I guess for implying that ‘thin is good’.

I kinda think they just want to stand out from the pack
and found a new way to do it
that is generating some advertising !

KINDA LIKE THE GROUPON.COM COMMERCIALS…
They were pulled off the air by the company
because of the bad response to them…
BUT I THOUGHT THEM BRILLIANT !!!


THEY STARTED WITH A SERIOUS SOUNDING
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT…
(tibet, rain forrest, etc)
AND THEN ‘SHIT-ON-IT’
WITH A CRASS, SELF-SERVING COMMERICAL
FOR THEMSELVES !!!

I guess I was wrong…

but I thought the commercial
was force-feeding, and bringing to light,
serious subjects that would provoke comment
by their treatment of it…
THEREFORE KEEPING THE SUBJECT
ON EVERYONE’S LIPS
INSTEAD OF BURIED IN THE NEWSPAPER !

It WAS the first time in ‘forever’ that
I personally gave their subjects ‘REAL’ thought !
(AND the company site burned into memory)

BUT MUCH TOO IN-YER-FACE FOR THE PUBLIC-AT-LARGE !
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keeping me honest ?

from steve (s7adan…)

As for Honey West’s ride, it was made by Carroll Shelby,
but, technically NOT a Shelby
(later a Mustang model he developed)

but, rather, a Shelby Cobra.

Originally it was made from
the frame and body of the English AC Ace sports car
with a Ford 289 cu. inch engine inserted.
I toured the Shelby factory in CA. in the fall of 1963
and saw them hand-making them.

(braggart)

I HAD to use this pic

that came up…

Someone else is getting in on MY action !
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PBS
(public service broadcasting)

I’ve never been one for PBS tv,
or NPR (national public radio),
but with SO LITTLE on tv,
I find myself watching (enjoying sometimes)
programs that I would not have watched in the past.

I spotted something in the ‘guide’
that I thought might have potential for a few minutes.

The NOVA series…

THE DEADLIEST PLANE CRASH

On March 27, 1977, on the island of Tenerife,
2 fully loaded 747 jumbo jets collided on a fog-blanketed runway,
claiming the lives of 583 people in what is
still the deadliest crash in aviation history.

“The Deadliest Plane Crash” looks back at the crucial 4 hours
before the disaster, when an improbable chain of coincidences,
bad luck, and misjudgments snowballed into tragedy.
The situation sounds eerily current.

Let me tell you…

It was spellbinding, suspenseful…
couldn’t take my eyes off the sequence of events
re-enacted from actual recordings and survivors.

IF THIS SHOW COMES UP AGAIN…

WATCH IT !!!

It runs less than an hour,
and will have your full attention !

TO READ A BIT MORE ABOUT IT…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenerife_airport_disaster
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I know this is supposed to be a

PRESIDENTS DAY ISSUE

but…
I was tempted to call it…

SHIRT-SLEEVES & SNOW

A welcome relief of ‘nice’ weather for a week !
Reaching all the way to 70 degrees by Friday
(soon to dip back to seasonable temps – we’ll take it !)
and 40’s & 50’s next week !

To point out how massive the snowfall was…
(I heard we broke the record for consecutive days
of snow covered ground)
THERE IS STILL PLENTY OF SNOW ON THE GROUND !
More on the shady side of the street,
gigantic piles in parking lots,
always visible to the casual ‘walker’…
but more a small reminder than a bother !

THE ONLY DOWN-SIDE ?
There’s still 5 weeks of winter left
(just barely half over)
and there’s no guarantee that
we WON’T get SLAMMED again !
(or multiple times)

BUT LIKE I WAS SAYING…

” WE’LL TAKE IT “

and worry about  more when, and if, it happens !
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THE WEATHER…

We went from 70 degrees one day
to 40 degrees the next… the one day being a nice respite…
but that wasn’t the story…

The story was THE WIND !!!

Continuous winds, with worser (long) gusts
that ‘loosened’ trees branches, and trees,
and sent flying anthing you didn’t ‘batten down’ !
(the white house xmas tree was a casualty, now mulch)

THE WIND WAS OF A KIND
THAT MADE ME GLAD THAT
I DIDN’T WASTE ANY TIME LAST NOVEMBER
RAKING THE LEAVES COVERING MY LAWN !
Between the leaves being under now-melted snow
(melted on my sunny front lawn)
for 53 continuous days, and THE WIND,

THERE ARE NO LONGER ANY LEAVES
ON MY PROPERTY !!!
Although, I can’t say the same for the
neighbor at the end of the street.
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did you get yours in the mail yet ?

Damn… another wedding…

I HATE GOING TO THEM !

Stay home, send a gift ?

BLENDER or CAN OPENER ?
(those are my standard gifts)

I guess I’ll have to go…

they’ll probably want me to say a few words,
or make a toast…

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Well… I did it !

Having used up all reserve material
for RIP items in the last issue…
I challenged myself to fill this one…
(maybe not my best, but full)

CALL IT A

CREATIVE EXPLOSION !
or
Creative IMPLOSION

And you can’t security scan for those
in New York City or Ellis Island !


I DID IT ONCE,

I CAN DO IT AGAIN !
(and again and again)
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WHAT DOES RIP RENFIELD

have in common with

THE PRESIDENCY ?

Yes, yes…
incompetence & mis-information…

BUT, ALSO…

There’s always another one
after the fuck-ups, disappointments,
and promises… both broken & future ones !

So if you like IKE,

you’re gonna love me !

and I’m always looking for asking

‘ what YOU can do for RIP Renfield’ ?

and

THE BUCK STOPS HERE !

So if you have any laying around, please send.

and CHANGE ?

I’d better if I want to stay in business !

and

YES  WE  CAN
(but I can’t)


and if you believe in mottos
instead of action & statemanship

RENFIELD IS YOUR MAN !!!

See you in Congress, bye !!!
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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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