† RIP Renfield #586 – Holidays Gone †

ONE MORE TIME…
a fine Seasonal Banner to end MY holiday themes…
(and much too nice to NOT use this year)

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  # 586 – HOLIDAYS (finally) GONE †

January 8, 2011

———————

-
-
-
-
-
The holidays are over,

but the SNOW is here to stay it seems !

I have a terrific ’snow banner’ I could have used this week,
but what’s the rush? More snow is on the way !!!
Instead you can imagine the holidays
‘melting away’, just like the candy cane…

YEAH, BABY !

As for me?

The snow, the early nites, work…
is just depressing me…
(nothing a big lottery win wouldn’t fix)

BETTER DAYS ARE COMING…

(better issues? you be the judge)
-
-
-
-
_____________________
-
-
-
-
R.I.P

LESLIE NIELSEN

Very sad that Leslie Nielsen has died…
Even sadder that his obits claim him best known for
AIRPLANE & NAKED GUN movies !

The guy was given up for ‘dead’ (career wise)
several times during his 60 years on screen.
SERIOUS ACTOR, LEADING MAN, LOVE INTEREST,
AND, ON TOP OF IT, GREAT COMIC TIMING !

He was a mainstay…
From the love interest in TAMMY & THE BACHELOR
to the ship captain in FORBIDDEN PLANET
to the captian in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE
to nearly as many tv appearances,
from very early tv to the recent past,
as Earl Holliman or William Shallert !

‘future’ projects?
STONERVILLE is completed,
THE WATERMAN MOVIE (voice) still filming.
SO WE MAY NOT HAVE SEEN (or heard)
THE LAST OF LESLIE NIELSEN !!!

REST-in-PEACE

Sent to his rest at an open-casket, cocktail party
billed as… COCKTAILS with LESLIE & BARBAREE
-
-
-
-
__________________________

-
-
-
-
The 911 FIRST RESPONDERS
have been in the news A LOT lately
because of the bill for their healthcare costs…

Whenever anything about FIRST RESPONDERS comes up,
I’m always surprised at the lack of criticism
for the head of the EPA (envir.protect.assoc.),
former NJ Governor CHRISTIE WHITMAN !!!

SHE VERY LOUDLY ASSURED EVERYONE
THAT THE AIR AT GROUND ZERO WAS SAFE !

Not a scientist, or a technician, she relied on whatever
information was given to her…
(or she was ordered to give)
BUT SHE WAS STILL THE HEAD MO-FO
THAT PEOPLE DEPENDED ON
FOR CORRECT INFO & THEIR SAFETY !
(death sentences were handed out, it should haunt her forever)

WHITMAN SHOULD BE MORE THAN A FOOTNOTE,
OR A FORGOTTEN BUREACRAT,
FOR THAT DISASTROUS PROCLAMATION
that destroyed the health & lives of the heroes !!!
-
-
-
-
_____________________

-
-
-
mark twain on censorship?

(it’s not Buddy Ebsen)

“Censorship is telling a man

he can’t have a steak

just because a baby can’t chew it”

HUCKELBERRY FINN ?

The fuss over ‘censoring’ (editing)
the ‘N’ word out of the original text is nonsense.
They already ‘edit’ language in movies for regular tv.
Books have locally been banned by individual libraries.
Greek statues in Congress have been ‘towel’ covered.

ALL ART HAS BEEN SHIT ON !!!

WHY IS THIS BOOK THE FLASH-POINT
FOR THE PUBLIC’S IRE ?

Kids are shit-heads & will giggle at the slightest thing.
Make a kid’s version of the book for lower grades,
let high school & above use the orignal text !

(when they can better handle the ‘finer points’ of the lesson)
-
-
-
-________________
-
-
-
-
for the ‘faux’ smarties…

Everyone is a genius at least once a year.

The REAL geniuses

simply have their bright ideas closer together.

- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
-
-
-
-
______________________

-

-
-
-
GAS  PRICES ?

It’s about $3 per gallon now…
and I hear all the nay-sayers predict
that a gallon of gasoline will be $5 in 2 years !

I DON’T THINK THEY GIVE ENOUGH CREDIT
TO THE OIL INDUSTRY !
They kinda like the business they are in…
and once TRUE electric cars get a bit more common…

WAIT AND SEE HOW REASONABLE
THE PRICE OF A GALLON OF GAS GETS…

There won’t be a reason to invest in non-gas cars !
(not a financial one anyway)
THEY’LL JUST CUT PROFITS FROM 10 BILLION
TO 1 BILLION FOR AWHILE !

Hybrids aren’t as threatening…

THEY STILL USE GASOLINE !

Like during the original gas crisis of the 70’s…
Some people went to diesel cars
for fuel under 50 cents a gallon…

IN RESPONSE…

SENSING BLOOD IN THE WATER…
THE DIESEL PRICE BECAME COMPARABLE
TO REGULAR GAS VERY QUICKLY !
-
-
-
-
___________________

-
-
-
-
PARCEL BOMB NONSENSE…

Seems the state of Maryland has shut
the mail rooms of all state offices & many colleges.
Separate ‘incidents’ at 2 gov’t offices led to this.
Not really bombs, but some minor incendiary devices.

THE MAIL ROOMS ARE OFF-LIMITS
UNTIL THEY ARE ‘CLEARED’ BY SOME INSPECTORS !

GENERAL WARNINGS TO CITIZENS
TO BE CAREFUL & SUSPICOUS OF PARCELS !

NO WHERE IN THE NEWS STORIES
DID I READ ABOUT WHAT PROTECTION,
OR PRECAUTIONS, THERE WERE FOR
POSTAL WORKERS !!!
Seems they are counting on the ‘bomb’ mailers
to be conscientous enough to pack them
so that only the recipients are in danger !

THEY REALLY CONSIDER POSTAL WORKERS
AS ACCEPTABLE LOSSES
IN CASE OF BOMBS, OR ANTHRAX !
(must protect the bureaucrats though)
-
-
-
-
_____________________

-
-
-
I have a question about

CAR INSURANCE

(or any insurance)

THE LATEST COMMERCIAL
HAD THE ‘BIGGEST’ INSURANCE COMPANY
ASKING THE CONSUMER
TO CHECK THEM OUT LAST
AND INQUIRE ABOUT THEIR DISCOUNTS !

MY QUESTION?

Why do you leave it up to me to FIND
these DISCOUNTS & DEALS ?

If I actually DO shop and find out you’re full of shit
but you are willing to match or beat the deal I found,
instead of taking you at your word and getting screwed,
I can save a few dollars at the cost of
a good deal of my time !

HOW ABOUT OFFERING THE BEST DEAL
WITHOUT MAKING ME WORK FOR IT ?
(and needing ME to ask the RIGHT questions)

INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR CUSTOMERS
WHO AREN’T UP ON THEIR RESEARCH,
GIVE GOOD DEALS TO ALL AND CLEAN UP !!!

-
-
-
_____________________

-
-
-
-
New Year’s Day Morning…

Flipped thru a few channels, stopped at AMC…
saw some incredible FRED ASTAIRE dancing clips !

THIS GUY WAS SUPERMAN !!!

and had some SUPER dance partners…


-
-
-

and that brings me to…

I remember them having Fred comment
on John Travolta and HIS dancing…
(saturday night fever)
and FRED was un-believe-able KIND and vocal,
praising Travolta in a ‘near-equal’ manner…
(Urban Cowboy dance was nice, but not technical)



THE REAL COMPARISON ?

Travolta was just entering pre-school,

ASTAIRE was Einstein !


Uh.. pre-school ?

Drop Travolta’s dancing ability even further…
Compared to 4 year old SHIRLEY TEMPLE,
he wasn’t even an embryo !
-
-
-
______________________
-
-
-
-
-just to take up some space…

Does anyone else do this ?

My wife will take the bath (shower) towel
I just used and hang to dry
and put it in the hamper with the ‘dirty’ stuff.

IF ANYTHING…

I’m totally clean, how did the towel get dirty
enough to need a washing by knocking
the ‘clean’ water off my body ?

I’ll concede that after a few uses, and dryings,
it’s reasonable to put in the hamper…
but it’s an awful waste of water & energy to clean it !
-
-
-
-
HEY.. THAT HOMELESS GUY
WITH THE ‘RADIO’ VOICE ?
CLEANED UP,
HE SURE LOOKS LIKE OBAMA !

-
-
-
-
DON’T FUCK WITH THE MOSSAD !

Seems certain ‘officials’ in Egypt
suspect that the recent shark attacks
in their waters were ‘engineered’
by the Israeli spy organization !
And that a ‘tagged’ endangered bird
with a GPS unit was spying for them !

THAT MOSSAD IS ONE BAD-ASS OUTFIT !
-
-
-
-
BORED IN A BLIZZARD…

I went to a chat room I used to frequent way back when…
Some idiot in there took some ‘pleasure’
in pointing out how ‘evil’ the usa was
and how the rest of the world hates our guts !

KEPT PISSING HER OFF WHEN
I KEPT REPLYING…

”MOVE”   “MOVE”  “MOVE”

If it’s so bad here, fix it or leave !
Find a better place… (not easily done)
Seems the ‘hate’ of this country
doesn’t keep EVERYONE from trying to get here,
and stay here with our opportunities & protections !

AS BAD AS IT IS ?
THERE’S NO PLACE BETTER !

(no beheadings or stonings here yet)

I don’t know what SHE does to better the country ?

“I’M LISTENING… TELL ME …”
(no answer)

ALL MOUTH, PART OF THE PROBLEM,

NOT PART OF THE ANSWER…
-
-
-
-
________________________

-
-
-

I just found (online) some great old sci-fi video…

THE STARLOST



EARTH (survival) SHIP  – ARK
500 years out, off course, crew dead…

a rural trio finds their way out of their biosphere,
one of many biospheres with individual cultures.
(no one knows they are on a spaceship, long forgotten),
they discover the ship is damaged and on a deadly course…
and search the ark looking for a way to save them all…

NOT THE GREATEST EFFECTS…
(think 70’s Doctor Who)

but interesting enough in a time whne there
was little in the way of science fiction on tv…

It stars…
KEIR DULLEA of 2001:a space odyssey fame.



‘SHINED-UP’ IT COULD HAVE SUCCEEDED
ala LOVE BOAT IN SPACE

the show can be watched in 4 part episodes
at the following link…

http://www.ovguide.com/tv/the_starlost.htm

It starts out with a hippie-dreamer
being banished from his farm-amish biosphere…
but it picks up in later episodes
with more conventional sci-fi plots…

as the computer stations say…



” MAY I HELP YOU ? ”

(you can find most episodes on youtube in 4 parts, too)
-
-
-
__________________________

-
-
-
-
I might be repeating myself…
but…

Has anyone else heard this ?

I came across a news story
that implies the strong likelihood
that since Qatar’s summer temp’s are intolerable
(who picked that god-forsaken place? oh yeah.. bribes),
they want to play the WORLD CUP (soccer-football) in

JANUARY !!!

If they’re planning on making in-roads
to the money to be made from enticing americans to the game…
they might be forgetting a little thing we call
THE SUPER BOWL
and the playoffs that occur that time of year in the USA !

Of course, by the time of the World Cup,
the football season may be extended to July…

BUT IT DOES SEEM ODD TO COMPETE FOR FANS,
OR TRY TO LURE NEW ONES TO THE GAME,
OR CASH IN ON TV CONTRACTS AT THIS TIME !
-
-
-
-
______________________

-
-
-
-
Few people can see genius

in someone who has offended them.
– Robertson Davies

I ONLY HAVE ONE THING TO SAY…

FUCK  YOU  !!!
-
-
-
_________________
-
-
-

THAT CANDY CANE IS

GOING, GOING, GONE !!!

and like the candy cane…

I’m gone too…

(JUST A DIFFERENT ORIFICE)

(fyi – I’m out… used up all my reserves…
it’ll be interesting to see what, and how much,
I come up with for the next issue of RIP !!! )
-
-

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

+++++++++++++++++++++