† RIP Renfield #583 – XMAS Count-down †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  # 583 – XMAS Count-down †

December 18, 2010

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merry christmas to us all !!!

and

god bless us all, everyone !

I have had the extreme good fortune
to have a super-talented graphics person
who was ‘on-fire’ for this holiday season…
and created (just for RIP) 7 NEW xmas banners !

THANKS TISHA, YOU’RE THE BEST !

There’s no problem using one this week,
and another for christmas…
and it seems a waste to not save for next year…
BUT I MAY SLIP IN ANOTHER ONE
AFTER THE NEW YEAR’S ISSUE !
(that last one might just satisfy the RIP ‘tit’ watchers)

SO KEEP AN EYE OUT !

I’d like to ’slobber’ some warm, goopy stuff on you…
(I mean WORDS & feelings, not what you thought)
but it WOULD be over-kill !!!

Finding the thing that ‘touches’ you personally
probably won’t be me…
(again… feelings & words)

Me?  I’m a sentimental fool…
even managed a few ‘happy’ tears
watching the xmas episode of EUREKA the other nite !

Sometimes it don’t take much this time of year…
(or any time of year)
BUT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MULTIPLE VIEWINGS

of

MIRACLE ON 34th STREET
(the orginal one, not the newer abortion)

OTHERWISE…

We decided (FINALLY) to go ’small’ this xmas !
It’s gotten to the point where we just don’t need
any more ’stuff’… buy simple now…
and get what you want when you actually NEED it !

yeah right…

I’m going to show up with $5 joke gifts,
everyone else will be extravagant (and hurt)…
and I’ll be the idiot sitting there with my thumb up my ass !!!

MERRY  CHRISTMAS !!!
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R.I.P

Jill Clayburgh

This ‘tribute’ took an odd turn…

It came as no surprise to film aficionados when, in 1999,
Entertainment Weekly named Jill Clayburgh to its list of
Hollywood’s 25 Greatest Actresses. For nearly 30 years,
she has delivered stellar performances in a wide variety of roles.

WELL, IT NOT ONLY CAME AS A SURPRISE TO ME,
BUT A SHOCK !!!
A cutie that kept her looks for a long time…
(and I admit to a ‘crush’)
her acting left a lot to be desired !

SHE WAS CRINGE-ING-LY BAD IN
‘First Monday in October’,
and although she appeared in a few REAL movies,
most of her IMDB listing is for tv shows & tv movies
of the laugh-able LIFETIME CHANNEL quality !
(ie: the ‘face on the milk carton’ along with Kellie Martin)

BUT AS CAROLE KING WROTE (and sang)…

ONE FINE DAY
YOU’LL BE PROUD TO HAVE ME
WALKIN’ RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE !

I’d have been proud to have Jill at my side…
she had that certain ’something’…
Charisma? or as I call it.. ‘the STANK’ !
She had ‘the STANK’ on her !!!

REST-in-PEACE

JILLY

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okay…

a xmas mistake anyone could make…

I wrote xmas cards to put in with gifts
I was mailing to some distant friends.
(germany, england, australia, brazil, oregon)
I’d wrap the ‘junk’, fill the box, put the card in…
and tape that box SO closed that
I’ve gotten complaints that the boxes are hard to open !
SO I WASN’T ABOUT TO RE-OPEN ANY OF THEM…

ANYWAY…

Filling the last box,
I saw that the accompanying, pre-written card
for a female friend was missing !
I searched quit a bit for it… (a half hour I’ll never see again)
and the ONLY conclusion I could come to was that
I must have put 2 cards in the box for the OTHER female !
(not a problem, a friend I could explain to)

BUT I’M AT A LOSS FOR
WHY SHE’S NOW ANNOYED WITH ME,
and giving me the cold shoulder…

I told her that I might have put a 2nd card in her box,
but that she got the right gift…

because…

” YOUR BOX IS MUCH BIGGER THAN HER BOX !!! “

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WEATHER  REPORT  ?

WHY BOTHER ?

The following is a 100% true, no bullshit
weather report from December 15th, 2010…

Weather forecasters say it’s possible southern New England
could see a winter storm Sunday into early Monday –
but it’s also possible the storm could steer clear of the area.

The National Weather Service says there is a low to moderate probability
of the storm affecting the region,
but the exact track and intensity of the storm is not known.

The greatest risk for accumulating snow appears to be
across southeast Mass., with lighter snow across the rest of the region.

“The storm could also head out to sea
with little if any impact on the area,” the forecasters,
who predict weather days in the future using sophisticated computer models,
said in a hazardous weather outlook issued this afternoon.

CAN’T BEAT THEM ‘ sophisticated computer models’
FOR ACCURATE PREDICTIONS !
HOW CAN THEY BE WRONG?
THEY LEFT NO POSSIBILITY OUT !

and can take ‘bows’ for any outcome !

SHOULDN’T THEY BE ASHAMED or EMBARASSED
TO PUT OUT A REPORT LIKE THAT ?

MIGHT AS WELL DEPEND
ON THE FARMER’S ALMANAC !
(without satellites & computers)
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The cut-to-the-bone governor of NJ

CHRIS CHRISTIE

is getting even more critcism for pulling-the-plug
on the NJ financial contribution
to the boondoggle project of building
a tunnel to ‘nowhere’ into NYC !

(if the federal gov’t would guarantee cost over-run money
the project would get his blessing)

ANYWAY…

by being a hard-ass,
the fed. gov’t has offered $147 MILLION to NJ
(as a bribe) to go ahead with the pork-barrel project,
that will ultimately cost NJ taxpayers
(most who will never use the tunnel)
billions and billions in cost overruns !
(hey.. it’s NY-NJ.. concrete, garbage disposal (wink,wink))

IT’S JUST THE BEGINNING…
KEEP THE OFFERS & THE MONEY COMING !
SWEETEN THE POT ENOUGH
AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ‘USELESS’ TUNNEL…
(can’t make money on bridged, tunnels, off-track betting…
is there anyway possible this ain’t a loser too ?)

JUST DON’T FUCK THE TAXPAYERS…

AGAIN !!!
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Being included on a long time RIP reader’s
Christmas card list was kinda nice…

but what’s OVER-THE-TOP ?

The card included the ‘newsletter’
for family & friends !
(and an open-invitation to the warm west coast)


I was totally complimented…

(just like Miss Congeniality at the end of the movie)


For me, something like that really puts
the CHRISTMAS state-of-mind into over-drive !

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MUSLIMS more tolerant than ATHEISTS

A glitzy hotel in Abu Dhabi has put on show

a jewel-encrusted Christmas tree

which it says is worth over $11m.

The vast majority of the population of oil-rich UAE are Muslim.

But Mr Olbertz said he did not think
the tree would offend local sensibilities.

“It’s a very liberal country,” he said, according to AFP.
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from last xmas…

My personal Christmas muse…

(hmmm.. still ‘juicy’)

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

BE UNDER THE TREE FOR ME !!!

There was the girl from the UK
to whom I introduced the great american tradition…

FUCKING UNDER THE XMAS TREE !

She understood…

while in america, it was only right
to respect OUR traditions !
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SPEAKING OF ASS-FUCKING…

John Travolta ’supposedly’

OUT-ED matter-of-factly

by a ‘reliable’ celeb ?

When asked for confirmation
by a reporter…

JOHN SAID…

(in his best Vinnie Barbarino voice)

” WHO, WHAT…. WHERE? “

and then…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29BoqCMRBFk&feature=related

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Still going STRONG !!!

Amazing how a bad economy
and sluggish (or non-existant) profits for stores
can bring back the ‘C’ word …

Christmas !!!

I haven’t heard of one case of stores
taking a chance on alienating shoppers
by NOT acknowledge-ing Xmas !
No exclusively advertised ‘HOLIDAY’ sales,
the sales are for Christmas shoppers now…
No one is complaining that clerks
are forbidden to wish customers

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

The DOLLAR talks,
PC is out the window,
and no chain-store is making a PC stand !

I’LL TAKE IT !!!
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SPEAKING OF ADVERTISING

AND GETTING THE ‘WORD’ OUT…

I just saw something ’scary’…

(AND THAT ISN’T IT)

I was googling an image…

and  came across a very familiar one in the group,
one I remember scanning & altering…
(odd that someone would have it available)
looking closer Google gave source credit to…

RIPRenfield.com !!!

Then I googled some of my ‘unique’ filenames in search…
and DAMN !!!  There I was again !!!
(If challenged, I have to hope parody use makes them ‘use-able’)

BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ?

When I google-image-searched
www.RIPRenfield.com
some of my banners, ads, & other graphics showed up !

IF IT NEVER GOES AWAY ON THE INTERNET
(the way they say)

I’VE ARRIVED !!!

(as close to immortality as you can get)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME !!!
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BEFORE I SIGN OFF…

I just wanted to let you know
that there is still time to send
me a Christmas card…

ho – ho – ho

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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