† RIP Renfield #580 – BLACK FRIDAY †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…

RIPRenfield@aol.com
or
gary.renfield@gmail.com

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† RIP Renfield  #580 – BLACK FRIDAY †

November 27, 2010

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I’m still 100% on BLACK FRIDAYS !!!
I’ve never been sucked-into shopping
for the wonderful, one-of-a-kind sales
that so many run to for sport !

GET UP EARLY?
FIGHT TRAFFIC?
WAIT ON LINE?
FIND,  WAIT FOR, PARKING ?
PUSH THRU CROWDED STORES?
FIGHT FOR AN ITEM TO SAVE A FEW ?
BUY SOMETHING I REALLY DON’T WANT ?


PUL-LEAZE…

I’ll be in bed, sleeping, thank you…
Then I’ll have a nice leisurely breakfast…
lounge around the house for a bit…

AND I’LL STILL MAKE-OUT
ON WHATEVER I BUY AT A LATER DATE !

for me all ’special’ shopping days are BLACK…
since the blackout curtains in my bedroom
help keep me asleep by imitating the nite !

YOU WAIT AND SEE…

ONE DAY, ONE OF THESE GANG SHOPPERS
WILL GET KILLED IN THE CRUSH !!!
(oh wait.. it’s already happened & has slowed no one)


HELLO-OOOO

ANYBODY READING THIS ?

Damn.. all at the mall…
so I can say anything, anything at all…

HERE’S WHAT I REALLY THINK !!!
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R.I.P

TO THE 29 New Zealand miners
they were un-able to rescue…

I must admit this mine story didn’t really effect me,
but when I saw it ended in death
instead of the miracle rescue in Chile…
and saw the 27 faces, full of life,
young men with their whole lives in front of them,
whose story didn’t end with a miracle, but death…

IT SEEMED APPROPRIATE TO POST
AROUND THE TIME OF OUR THANKSGIVING…

BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE,
IT WON’T LAST FOREVER…
FOR SOME, NOT ANOTHER MINUTE !

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I spent LAST weekend putting Xmas lights on the house.
(I’ll hold off lighting them for a few weeks)
Oh… since I had a mini-vacation from work to decompress,
I remembered that I should buy some salt
and a few new snow shovels for my ‘collection’.

So… 2 specific use shovels…
and 300 pounds of salt !!!

Yep… 300 !

Not one of my favorite chores
(load the cart, load the car, unload the car to the backyard)
less favorite if I actually have to use the stuff !
I buy a bunch (6-50pound bags) every few years
and I have plenty… just in case…
Not an easy thing to buy AFTER a rough winter
and people empty out the stores of snow ‘accessories’ !

SO… outside of buying a live xmas tree…
and figuring out some gifts…
I’m pretty well finished with winter preparations…

BRING  IT  ON  !!!
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I find myself repeating myself
about something I never seem to hear about
in the ‘green’ media or THEIR counter-parts…

ELECTRIC CARS ?

The ones you JUST plug-in ?

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If they burn fossil fuels
or use nuclear reactors to create electricity…
The same electricity that comes out of the socket…

IS THAT REALLY ‘GREEN’ ?

or just a shell game ?

(somewhere else deals with the pollution)

Is there an over-abundance of electricity
created by wind, water, & solar energy ?


CONSERVATION SHOULD ALWAYS BE PRACTICED !
But some scientists claim it not to be a long-term solution…
The 100 year benefit from ‘green’ is supposed to be miniscule.

THE ANSWER WILL HAVE TO BE TECHNOLOGY…
that’s the miracle we have to hope for !

and with the state of the economy…
cut-backs on research & developement…
(especially that treasure trove ’space’ research)

HAVE WE SHOT OURSELVES IN THE FOOT ?
(AGAIN)
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everybody WAS talking about

AIRPORT SCANNERS…

here’s my spin…

(dripping with sarcasm)

FINALLY, it’s about time !

Why should the WHITE HOUSE,
THE SENATE, AND HOUSE of REPRESENTATIVES
be the ONLY ones with these state of the art devices ?

They are, of course, targets… soft & big ones !
So priority should always go to them…
Since the scanners are SO safe… and necessary…
and leading by example…
The multiple trips thru the scanners made daily
by our leaders surely shows how safe they are !!!

SAFE ?

If it’s good for the president, his wife, & his children…
(NO exceptions)
IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE REST OF US !

(do it VERY publicly… and who cares if some minumum wage
security guard sees your ‘junk’ for a few seconds)

YOU’D NEVER ASK THE PUBLIC TO DO ANYTHING
YOU WOULDN’T DO YOURSELVES…

WOULD YOU ?

and if the president or secretary of state
opts for the pat-down instead ?
Someone will have a story to tell their grandchildren…

” I FELT-UP HILLARY & OBAMA !!! ”

or is the cost of safety only to be born
by the peons, not the leaders ?

The ’searchers’ are complaining too…
seems that some ‘fliers’
have a hygeine problem !!!
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FEELING NAKED ?

(or at least un-comfortable?)

It was that ‘naked’ feeling…
like when I left my cell phone home
for the first time and had to do without !

I found myself at work without my WALLET !

I checked the bathroom stall, my work area,
and lastly phoned home… it was there !

I have this ‘move’ back from the days
when I spend a lot of time in Manhattan.
Every few steps I ‘bump’ my wallet with my hand.
(just to know it’s there)
I WAS DOING THE ‘BUMP’ THE ENTIRE DAY
AND REALLY FEELING THE LOSS !
(but at least it was a cheap day)

PS – I checked the bathroom stall
because I used the facilities & it could have fallen out.

NOT because I was making a transaction there !
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Psst…

I have a great stripper bar to recommend to you.

AIRPORT A GO-GO

Don’t worry about a thing.. great security there…
You’ll be perfectly safe…

One thing though… On the way in ?

If I were you I’d bypass the body scanner
and request the pat-down… (very thorough)
(the dancer-guard confirms if yer packin’)

Oh.. and I always get one on the way out too…

JUST IN CASE…

—

A RENFIELD ORIGINAL
by now, a thousand comics have said it…
but it came to me right before Thanksgiving dinner.
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what the hell…
(I need the material, this is a long rant)

moron, make that ‘more on’…

ELECTRIC CARS

I was reading a piece, a supposed postive piece,
about the small ‘flood’ of electric cars
to be offered this next selling season…

IT OPENED MY EYES
TO THINGS I HADN’T CONSIDERED

TO SUMMARIZE…

These cars will cost more.

If you live in colder climate areas…
the batteries won’t work as well…
so the warmer states will be the ‘experimenters’,

These cars, while charging, will draw
as much power as a small house.
(and ‘draw’ a lot faster straining supplies)

Electric utility bills skyrocket,
but you save up to 70 cents per gallon of gas.

The present power grid is ill-prepared
to handle all but a few cars per block.

Inadequate transformers, like the one located
on your block, will ‘blow’ if more than
2 or 3 electric cars plug in…
NEW transformers MUST be installed
whose cost will be added to your electric bill.

There’s a good chance YOUR own home ’service’
(amount of amperage running thru your fuse box)
will need to be upgraded (at your expense).

TURN ON A FEW LARGE-DRAW APPLIANCES?
It’s like GREEN ACRES in HOOTERVILLE…
Fuses or breakers blow !
Recommended to charge during the nite
when demand is hopefully lower.

ELECTRICITY from your outlets
are generated by mostly fossil fuels…
NATURAL GAS, (dirty) COAL, along with nuclear,
& a small amount from water & wind.
SO THERE IS STILL POLLUTION…
just in another area, perhaps not yours…
GREENHOUSE GASES WILL BE CUT !
but ONLY by up to 1/3 if THEIR numbers are right.
(afterall, THEY are selling a product.. best face?)

SO THE BENEFIT ISN’T ALL THAT GREAT
WHEN ALL THINGS ARE CONSIDERED !
(and you’re only saving 70 cents per gallon
& losing elsewhere for electricity & equipment installation)
IS IT WORTH IT FOR MOST DRIVERS?

OH.. AND GUARD YOUR OUTLETS !!!
There will be electricity thieves…
I’m sure you’ll be see-ing a lot of people
(management?) plugging-in at work !

AND THE ARTICLE I READ ?

I can’t really say they sugar-coated it…
All the things above were mentioned…
but were minimized…
not called problems at all…
merely..

‘BUMPS’ !!!

Kinda seems like the electric car makers
are jumping-the-gun…
the infra-structure isn’t ready for mass sales
of electric cars to the general public.

THE SAVINGS JUST DON’T EQUATE
TO FREE GASOLINE & CLEAN SKIES.

If your driving is minimal…
there is NO savings to speak of…
and, on top of that, you’ll help bear the cost
of upgrading the power grid
for even MORE electricity use !!!

AND HOW LONG BEFORE
THE INCREASED DEMAND FOR ELECTRICY
PUSHES THE COST OF COAL & NATURAL GAS
TO EXHORBITANT LEVELS ?

Thank God the oil companies (& countries)
like the business they are in…
and, I predict, that if they see the ‘threat’ is real…
the price of gasoline will drop low enough
to make the purchase of an electric car
a tree-huggers fake contribution to the enviroment !

(I’m just sayin’)

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you got the right…

but

A CHEAP SHOT ?

An atheist group spent $20,000
for a prominent billboard (Lincoln Tunnel entrance)
to declare that

” CHRISTMAS  IS  A  MYTH  “

Yeah, so?  What if it is?

Why piss on someone else’s parade?
Someone gets enjoyment for something you don’t ?

TOUGH  SHIT  !!!

A BRAVE STATEMENT ?
I don’t see the same atheists knocking
a certain prophet from ANOTHER religion !!!

Does a religion need the threat of
revenge & retaliation to get
the atheists to back off ?

(go after christians… they’re too civilized to kill you)

The claim is that they want closet-atheists
who ‘put-up-with’ Christmas,
some just going-thru the religious motions…
TO DECLARE THEMSELVES !

WHAT ABOUT NON-RELIGOUS ‘MOTIONS’
THAT PEOPLE FIND ENJOY-ABLE ?

WHAT BULLSHIT PARTY-POOPERS !!!

Why don’t they attack Saint Valentines Day
with the same vigor ?
According to the same standard,
it’s also based on religion !

OR IS IT RELIGIOUS TO SOME
AND TRANSCENDS RELIGION TO OTHERS ?

Wouldn’t it be fair to say that Xmas is
20% Jesus & 80% Santa for the country ?

I see many non-christian familiies who celebrate,
why don’t they come out and declare themselves ?

XMAS ISN’T A BAD THING,
IT DOESN’T TEACH BAD THINGS,
IT’S A POSTIVE IN A WORLD OF NEGATIVES !!!

People are always ready to tear things down,
instead of building them up !!!

Santa, xmas trees, reindeer, North Pole…

THAT AIN’T RELIGIOUS !
and I don’t see atheists demanding
to work on Christmas day at regular pay !
They ain’t completely stupid !


TAKE IT TO WASHINGTON, NOT BILLBOARDS,
XMAS IS A NATIONAL HOLIDAY,
NOT AN ARBITRARY ONE !

And as far as Xmas being a myth ?
There’s a few myths about George Washington,
Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi & many others in history…
(including the ‘man that shot Liberty Valence’)

DON’T YOU ATHEISTS GET IT ?
WE DON’T CARE ‘MYTH’ ONE WAY OR THE OTHER !

Wouldn’t the 20 grand have been better spent

feeding the poor for whatever holiday?

and why do I get the feeling that the same anti-xmas people
would be the first ones screaming for the right
to build a mosque at ground zero ?

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http://music-movement.com/en/

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NOT TO BE CONFUSED

AS CRITICISM OF HER MUSIC…


I think it was the sound of her voice…
that ‘affected’ accent… very uppity…

Good work I suppose,
but who does she think she is to lecture?

ANNIE LENNOX has such a charmed life
that it’s EMPTY enough for her to ‘tour’ the world
bringing the plight of the destitute to us…
(I guess she was bored and needed a project or hobby)
She obviously has the means & time to travel
from continent to continent
and I can’t imagine her staying at the Motel 6 !
(she was in NYC when I heard her)

AND SHE CAN ENTER OR LEAVE
THE 3rd WORLD AS IT SUITS HER !


WHERE SHE THINKS HER CELEBRITY HAS VALUE
TO HELP THE SUFFERING…
I THINK DONATING TILL SHE’S MIDDLE-CLASS
WOULD HELP THEM MORE (or not) !

I thought her arrogant to claim that ‘average Joe’s’
could make a difference by fore-going
one coffee a week and donating to a cause !

WHAT MAKES HER THINK THAT
MOST PEOPLE DON’T ALREADY DONATE ?
(often and a lot, till it hurts)
If $5 a week per working adult in the USA
could solve the problem, it would have happened by now !

The proposition came up that in terms of ‘the haves’…
most of us in the USA are closer
to BILL GATES than the poor of the world !

DOES SHE READ or HEAR THE NEWS ?
No jobs, no money, people losing homes…
WE ARE LOSING THE MIDDLE-CLASS
and who’s going to bail us out
when we become the poor !

GREAT.. I HAVE RUNNING WATER,
AND A FEW LUXURIES THAT I WORK FOR !
But not in any financial condition to save the world !

I’M BARELY HANGING ON MYSELF !!!
(like most families)
AND I STILL CONTRIBUTE TO CHARITY
AND DOWN-ON-THEIR-LUCK FRIENDS !

and Lennox is out there trying to ‘guilt me’ ?
put the squeeze on ME while she globe-trots ?
(mean chick with a basketball)



SHE GETS TO ‘LECTURE’…

Would she have the energy if she ‘worked’ for a living?
REAL MANUAL LABOR,
the kind that leaves you with no sleep problems !


SO REDUCE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE
TO HELP OTHERS…
(while yours stays the same)

Keep adding hamburger helper
and you get to the point where
there’s no more beef !!!
MY ‘ditch’ isn’t deep enough ?

SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME !!!



THE CYCLE ?

A little bit of affluence,
a little bit of education,
a little bit of feeling entitled…
CONTROL OF THE BIRTH RATE !

WHICH LEADS TO…

Third world countries banging out babies
like rabbits in an under-populated carrot patch !
(to be fair, most don’t have cable tv)
Over-whelming the world,
dragging our charitable selves down a level or 2…
and then they over-run & conquer us pussies,
and the cycle begins again !!!

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EXCUSE ME FOR THE TONE

OF A FEW OF MY ITEMS THIS WEEK…

Thanksgiving with the family

can do that to ya !!!

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BY THE WAY…

HERE’S A GREAT INTERVIEW WITH

the GREAT RONNIE SPECTOR

and by coincidence
there is a drop-in surprise meeting of her
and ANNIE LENOX…
(a mutual admiration society?
ronnie doesn’t know she’s royalty to us)

http://www.ronbenningtoninterviews.com/RonnieSpectoraudio.html


AND YOU COULD DO WORSE
BY NOT CHECKING THE CATALOG
OF OTHER INTERVIEWS
DONE BY RON BENNINGTON
(of RON & FEZ)


http://www.ronbenningtoninterviews.com/

THE GUY DOES A GREAT ‘CONNECT’
WITH HIS INTERVIEW-EES !
(some really great ones)

also…

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/
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A GOOD DAY FOR ME ?

(I take what I can get)

I’m not known for my ‘delicate’ touch…
so you can’t begin to appreciate
the GREAT satisfaction I’m glowing with
for fixing the damn toilet !!!

It’s relatively new, but has been giving us
problems over the last few years…
Actually had to have a plumber in
to straighten it out a year or 2 ago…

For the last month or so…
it’s been ‘running’…
not all the time… but mostly entire nights
with water being wasted (and me paying) !

Not a simple, standard model…
off the shelf, universal, self-repair items didn’t fit !

ANYWAY…

On my way out the door to buy parts,
my wife announce she was going to
price new toilets !

RENFIELD TO THE RESCUE !!!
Changed the handle,
adjusted this-and-that…
and it’s working better than it did when new !!!

I stand there and wait for the tank to fill…
AND IT DOES !

It’s been 100% and I’m responsible…

MAKES YA PROUD !!!

I’m walkin’ a bit taller these days !

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Ahhhh…

BLACK FRIDAY is just a fading memory now…
Not especially for me…
it was just like any other Friday…
except for the traffic going past shopping malls !

But since people are usually shopped out…
and home sleeping or having dinner by 4 or 5pm…
The total effect on ME is minimal !


BUT I’LL SLEEP JUST AS WELL
AS THOSE KNUCKLEHEADS
THAT FOUGHT THE CROWDS !



BUENOS NOCHES, MF-ers !!!

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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