† RIP Renfield #563 – NOT Talking BASEBALL †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #563 – NOT Talkin’ BASEBALL †

July 31, 2010

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okay…

You may notice that the only thing

BASEBALL

about this issue of RIP Renfield
is the death ‘tribute’ to

GEORGE STEINBRENNER

(but doesn’t the pretty banner look nice?)

I WAS IN THE MOOD FOR SOME ‘GREEN’
and  ’tis the season !

JUST GO WITH IT…
maybe I’ll come up with some ‘baseball’
themed stuff off the top of my head !

STILL HOT AS A MOTHER-EFFER,
but mid-80 degree temps are the new 70 degree days !
Amazing how you can think you’re
getting away with something if it doesn’t hit 90-or-so !
The weather report noted that the over-nite temp.
in NY’s Central Park was 65 degrees on July 26th.
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME SINCE JULY 3rd
THE TEMP DROPPED TO THE 60’s !!!

EXCUSE THE CONTENTS OF THIS ISSUE OF RIP…
It was un-avoid-able…
I GOT MY HANDS ON A NEWSPAPER !



__________________

R.IP

YANKEES OWNER

George Steinbrenner



He never angered me (back in the day)
and I never really paid that much attention to him…
and I’m sure DEAD he’s being lauded by everyone !

NOT A HERO OF MINE, BUT THE GUY’S DEAD
(and I’m short on dead people),
HE ASSEMBLED GREAT PLAYERS & TEAMS,
AND HASN’T PISSED ANYONE OFF IN YEARS…
So I can find a place for him in RIP Renfield.

I got the news before all of ya…
Someone ‘tweeted’ Opie & Anthony
with the news that George Steinbrenner had died.
There was NO confirmation from any source…
except those ‘quoting’ RC from Florida,
the O & A source !!!   It could have been a fiasco
for the guys had it been a false rumor…
The RUMOR took off with lightning speed and
was EVERYWHERE within minutes without being confirmed
by a respectable source…
(it was hoped to be an ‘inside’ source)

BUT IT WAS CORRECT..
AND FIRST REPORTED THERE !



TIME TO STRAIGHTEN OUT HEAVEN !!!


__________________

Democracy is a device that ensures
we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
- George Bernard Shaw

AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH !!!

______________

This CHARLEY WRANGEL thing

has me a bit annoyed…

I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS
or
WHAT HE IS ACCUSED OF DOING
but…

WHY DOES A CONGRESSMAN’S LAWYERS
GET TO NEGOTIATE A ‘SETTLEMENT’
WHEREBY THE ‘EMBARASSING’ DETAILS
OF THE OFFENSE WON’T BE MADE PUBLIC ?
(or a quick retirement BEFORE the trial ends it?)

(mcgreevey’s ‘crimes’ disappeared too, once he quit)
((to me? the ‘gay’ was his graceful way out))

ANYWAY…

I THINK THE CITIZENS, THE VOTERS,
EVEN THE ILLEGAL ALIENS
SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HEAR ALL !!!

ALLOWED?  WE SHOULD DEMAND IT !

IT SHOULD NOT EVEN BE A QUESTION !


___________________

sorry… I just don’t get it…

“If I want to live in Fremont, and I want to rent,
I will have to prove my citizenship.
I believe that’s a violation of my civil rights.
I don’t think after two generations in this country
that I have to prove I am a U.S. citizen.”

THE PROOF IS NO MORE THAN SHOWING ID
AT  A TRAFFIC STOP !
AND CROSS THE CANADIAN BORDER
AND SEE IF THEY ACCEPT YOUR ARGUMENT !

MY ‘BORN-HERE’ CREDENTIALS
ONLY GO BACK A FEW GENERATIONS TOO…
I HAVE NO PROBLEM SHOWING PROPER ID !
It’s not to take-away my rights…
it’s protecting them !

MY SUGGESTION ?
A small icon on a driver’s license, or other ID card,
that quickly shows your status.
Make the CRIME any forgery of the icon !
You aren’t singled out for immigration violations,
but for the forgery crime !
You have to show ID for a job or rental…
if the person accepts your BAD ID ?

FINE THEM !!!

for the ‘icon-less’…

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE,
STAY OFF THE GRID,
AND THERE’S NO PROBLEM…
COME HERE AND COMMIT CRIMES,
CAN’T SHOW LEGAL ID ?

BYE BYE !

DON’T AIM FOR NATIONALITY, AIM FOR ILLEGALS…
TURN AWAY ALL WHO DON’T GO THRU THE PROCESS !
IRISH, ITALIAN, or ARGENTINIAN…
WHO-EVER… DON’T DISCRIMINATE !!!
If it makes everyone feel better,
request ID from 10 non-profile-type people
for every 1 of the stereo-typical illegal-type-person !

AND HOLD EMPLOYERS RESPONSIBLE !!!
(they take advantage worse than anyone)

_____________________

on-the-cutting-edge…

NEWARK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

(the one that some of the 911 terrorists took off from)
is FINALLY getting those ‘fancy’ body scanners
that show your naked silhouette
to a minimum wager earning GED candidate !

I’ve heard of these scanners being installed & used
in various places around the country & world..
and I was wondering ?

WHY WASN’T NEWARK (5 minutes from ground zero)
CLOSER TO THE TOP OF THE LIST
FOR INSTALLATION OF THESE SCANNERS ?

Is there a more iminent threat in IOWA or SOUTH DAKOTA ?


EVER NOTICE THAT THE ‘BAND-AID’
IS NEVER PUT  ON THE PART THAT IS ‘BLEEDING’ ?


____________________

mosque at 9-11 GROUND ZERO ?
(still rubble & a mosque will be first?)

A tv news-show debate had one side
argue-ing the FIRST AMENDMENT…
Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion
(I may not like it, but I’ll defend your right to say it)

BUT… I found there was NO way NOT to agree
with the opposing (sane) position…
The simple assessment by the ‘dissenter’ was that
IT IS NOT A FIRST AMENDMENT QUESTION AT ALL !!!
Being against the location of the mosque
is no ‘attack’ against any first amendment right !

IT’S MORE A MATTER OF SENSITIVITY !!!
How many times are we told that we should
be more sensitive to other peoples & cultures?
The same sensitivity was are told to have for others,
never seems to work in the opposite direction…
MORE LIKE IT’S USED AGAINST US FOR BEING CIVILIZED !

HOW ABOUT SOME SENSITIVITY
FOR A SHELL-SHOCKED CITY,
WHOSE CITIZENS WERE MURDERED
IN A MOST AGGREGIOUS FASHION !
AN ACT OF UN-DECLARED WAR… TERRORISM !!!

AS FAR AS ANY RELIGION…
They are STILL free to practice,
they are STILL free to build mosques.

THE ONLY QUESTION IS THE PARTICULAR
SITE YOU CHOOSE TO BUILD ONE !
and picking a location that can anger & insult,
isn’t exactly being ’sensitive’ to the LOCAL victims !

I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE MEMBERS
OF THAT RELIGION, MABYE A VAST MAJORITY,
MAYBE NOT, I DON’T KNOW…
WHO ARE DECENT PEOPLE,
APPALLED BY THE ACTIONS OF A FEW RADICALS !

BUT, LIKE IT OR NOT…

THE COWARDLY, MUREROUS, TERRORIST ACT
WAS DONE IN THE NAME OF THEIR GOD,
AND IN THE NAME OF THEIR RELIGION !

the example used by the tv ‘dissenter’

is a valid comparion…

HE SAID THIS WOULD BE LIKE
BUILDING A RELIGIOUS SHRINE
TO THE ‘KAMIKAZE’ PILOTS WHO ATTACKED
PEARL HARBOR, ON THE SITE WHERE
THE USS ARIZONA MEMORIAL IS LOCATED !!!

SAME THING…

and it’s not a FIRST AMEDMENT ISSUE !
If it has to be built, build it in a less
controversial location…

If I wanted to build a HIROSHIMA carnival ride,
or video game, which glorified the killing…



I’D BE WRONG TOO !

(no one would stop me, but I’d be a pariah)

I’M FREE TO DO IT…

BUT OTHERS ARE FREE TO ‘ATTACK’ ME !
(freedom is a 2-sided coin)
IT BECOMES MY CHOICE WHETHER TO CONTINUE !
(I choose NO)

______________

I just went state-by-state

to read the APPROVAL RATINGS

(more like dis-approval rating)
of the job PRESIDENT OBAMA is doing…

Going thru them state-by-state
it’s hard to believe the dis-approval rate

is ONLY 58% !!!

(only a handful of states approved,
and then only slightly, except for the ‘crazy states’)

BUT ACROSS THE BOARD, MORE THAN HALF POLLED,
WANT THE HEALTHCARE BILL REPEALED !

I must hang out with the wrong people,
and run into the wrong people…
Because, according to the polls, here in NEW JERSEY,
‘we’ seem to love the job he’s doing,
AND I RARELY HEAR ANYTHING POSITIVE !
(except when they STILL blame BUSH)

REMEMBER HARRY TRUMAN ?

” THE BUCK STOPS HERE “

Even if you inherited problems,

you ran on SOLUTIONS…

HOW ABOUT IT ?

If this were BUSH years…
protests would be everywhere !

WHY IS EVERYONE STAYING HOME ?

In a waste-of-a-vote state if you aren’t voting democratic,
like New Jersey, even WE elected a rebpulican governor
this past election… kinda says something, huh?

THAT’S WHY THE POLL NUMBERS HERE
DON’T SEEM ALL THAT ACCURATE TO ME…
(and not in Obama’s favor)

The farther away, the more you ‘approve’ ?

HAWAII was 70% to the good…

‘They’ love him over-seas…

and the MOON approval rating was 80% !!!


____________________

so unlike my usual…

I HAD THIS DREAM THE OTHER NITE…
AND IT’S ‘BURNED’ INTO MY BRAIN…

IT WAS A SEX DREAM !!!

(a sweaty, grunting, all-in event)

As vivid & real as could be…
I think I could pass a lie-detector test
that it actually happened…

as real as any memory in my head…

IT WAS SO REAL

THAT WHEN I WOKE UP…

MY ASS WAS SORE !

___________________

GIVE BILL CLINTON HIS DUE…

He knew how to work the system !
His people would set up ‘focus-groups’
to find the popular, man-on-the-street best percentages
for whatever stand the administration would take…

OF COURSE, IT MADE HIM LOOK LIKE
A REED IN THE WIND…
No opinion of his own… but how could you argue with it?

I FIND IT MUCH SUPERIOR TO PRESIDENT OBAMA,
READING THE NEWSPAPER
(days after internet breaking news)
AND THEN HAVING HIS PEOPLE TO MEET
AND TELL HIM WHAT HIS OPINION IS…
WAY AFTER THE VOTERS HAD TIME TO ANGER !

for example…

HE TOOK HIS FAMILY ON A MAINE VACATION
(not a bother to me)
DURING THE WORST ECOLOGICAL OIL DISASTER
WE’VE EVER SEEN & PROBLMS STILL ABOUND !!!

But the criticism he seems to be reacting to…
IS HIS CHOICE OF VACATION SPOT,
NOT THE VACATION ITSELF AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME !

SO… to make it all better…

ANOTHER vacation was announced for mid-to-late August…
this time to show support for the ‘harmed’
tourist industry in the Gulf Coast !

FIRST OF ALL…

FLORIDA’s Gulf Coast should have been
the ORIGINAL vacation location if showing support,
and then…
SUMMER IS NEARLY OVER BY THE TIME HE GETS THERE !

THE CLINTONS WOULD HAVE BEEN DOWN THERE
MONTHS AGO… SOAKING UP THE SUN & OIL,
AND ‘CANKLE’ DEEP IN THE TAR BALLS !!!


I MISS ‘FOCUS GROUPS’ !!!

and congrats to the Clintons for ‘un-loading’ Chelsea…
good idea for her to get married BEFORE
she loses her ‘looks’ !!!

oh.. Obama was VERY nearby the other day…

The sandwich shop is just down the road…
I didn’t know her was there at the time…
but the multiple military helicopters buzzing around
let you know something was up…
(could have been terrorism… should have given us a heads-up)

_________________



ONE MORE THING
ABOUT THAT GREAT SEX DREAM…

Yes, the dream really happened…
and my ass was fine when I woke,
I was with a WOMAN !


I WAS FANTASTIC !!!

I wish my wife could have been there !!!
(but then again…)

________________

why donating your body to science

is a less than noble affair…

THERE IS MONEY TO BE MADE
FROM YOUR ‘SELF-LESS’ DONATION !

…the truck contains human body parts as well as
body parts models the company’s using to
demonstrate it’s endoscopic surgery instruments at the
American Orthopaedic Society for Sports Medicine
meeting at the Rhode Island Convention Center.

YOU donate… how do body parts become part
of a ’sideshow’s demonstration for a company
that ‘obtained’ your charitable donation ?
LOOKING TO LINE THEIR POCKETS ?

IS THAT WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND ?
How about a portion of your medical expenses
being paid for when you sign the papers?
(especially in hospice cases)

I’m reminded of a ‘rocker’ being interviewed
and asked about his HUMAN TEETH jewelry…
He somehow was able to enter the warehouse
of a ‘parts’ supplier to a medical school…
said there were baskets of teeth there…
much the same way you’d see produce in a farmer’s market !

THERE OUTTA BE A LAW…

OR AT LEAST DIS-CLOSURE OF FINAL DESTINATION !
(with dignity)

___________________

an ODD COUPLE
(although not as odd as Shirley Jones & Marty Engels)

I thought that TOM POSTON and SUZANNE PLESHETTE
were a wacky match…
But, watching a TV scandal-type show (old re-run)…
they dropped the incredible ‘news’ that somehow…

SHELLY FABARES

(very cool in her day… acted for decades)

is married to… get this…


MIKE FARRELL !!!

(how he got on tv’s MASH I’ll never know…
perhaps hit ‘talent’ didn’t intimidate
any of the petty ’stars’ of the show)
((CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE OF NOTE HE DID))


I guess opposites attract…

SHELLY can come across as cold & stuck-up,
but you’d still ‘bang’ her…
FARRELL, on the other hand, always came across
as a tree-hugging, out-of-touch with the real world,
faux intellectual… with a very short range as an actor…
JUST SMARMY & ANNOYING MOSTLY !

(he couldn’t shine RADAR’S boots….
and they ALL had problems with RADAR)

OH WELL… SHE GOT HER NEW LIVER…
AND IF TOM POSTON & SUZANNE PLESHETTE
CAN MAKE A GO OF IT…

MORE POWER TO THIS ‘ODD COUPLING’ !!!


_________________

speaking of M*A*S*H…

the ‘looking-back’ scandal special
pretty much showed those actors appearing
as petty jerks (nee… a-holes)

the term PRIMA DONNA(s) comes to mind…
it seemed more than one person considered themself
the star, the straw-that-stirred-the-drink !

I THOUGHT THE FOLLOWING PARTICULARLY PETTY…
(geez… it was a long time ago, throw a guy a bone)

With HOTLIPS on screen, it was pointed out that
ONLY 2 of the shows stars were there
for the entire run of the show !
(hotlips & hawkeye)

UH… EVEN WITH THE MINOR CHARACTERS OUT…
(like the nurses)
I believe KLINGER & FATHER MULCAHEY
were there the entire time too…
and it might have been nice to mention
that RADAR was in the original movie version !
(instead of ’sniping’ at him, even if he was a prick)

KLINGER & MULCAHEY MIGHT NOT HAVE
BEEN OFFICIALLY ‘STARS’,
BUT GEEZ…
Take out ’stars’ and insert ‘people’ or ‘actors’
and you get a more accurate reading
of others who were as much a part of the show
as the tooting-her-own-horn HOTLIPS…

SIDE-STORY
I wasn’t there, did it happen?
HOTLIPS supposedly was at an autograph convention
(local to me),
at her table, charging for photos with her…
a passer-by snapped one of her from a distance…
and, the way I heard it, she chased the guy down
demanding her TEN DOLLARS !

WITHOUT MASH ?
NO TEN DOLLARS AT ALL !
Like Mike Farrell,
her after-mash career didn’t set the world on fire !

IT’S AMAZING MASH GOT DONE AT ALL,
SEEMS THERE WAS ALOT OF ANIMOSITY ON THE SET !

__________________

OKAY…

ANOTHER ISSUE PUT TO BED…
and if I do say so myself..

A HOMERUN !!!

The only question is either…

HOW FAR I HIT IT
or
WAS IT AN INSIDE-the-PARK HOMERUN !!!

But then again… I’m delusional…

(hey.. I need something to get me thru the day)

SO I’LL BE GOING NOW…

ME AND MY IMAGINARY FRIEND
(imaginary life?)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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