† RIP Renfield #554 – LOCK and LOAD †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #554 – LOCK and LOAD †

May 29, 2010

———————

Well… as you may have noticed…
this is RIP Renfield Issue # 554
and you know what that means !!!

NEXT ISSUE IS # 555 !!!

I can tell the Memorial Day Weekend is starting…
TBS is kicking off the movie weekend with
SERGEANT  YORK  (a great old movie) !
and it still amazes me to see June Lockhart
as recognize-able (by face) today as then !

—————–

Like always…

HAVE A GREAT MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

but take a moment to remember

why you get to have a holiday,

it’s not all baseball & burgers…

ALOT OF SACRIFICE & BLOOD WAS GIVEN
SO YOU COULD HAVE THAT
BAR-B-QUE, BASEBALL & 3-DAY WEEKEND !

—————————-

speaking of baseball…
(no burgers)

R.I.P

‘A League of their Own’

Dorothy Kamenshek

Dottie was the former star of the
All-American Girls Professional Baseball League
who helped inspire the lead character in the movie
“A League of their Own ”

Kamenshek, who also went by Dottie and Kammie,
played for the Rockford Peaches in Illinois from 1943 to 1953.
The left-handed infielder was a seven-time All-Star
and named in the top 100 female athletes of the century.

She & other league players, were the basis for Dottie Hinson,
Geena Davis’ character in the 1992 movie about
women’s professional baseball in the 1940s and 1950s.

LOOK CLOSELY, YOU CAN SEE THE ‘DOTTIE’ SIGNATURE

REST-in-PEACE

_________________________

SUPERBOWL IN  NEW JERSEY ?

Thanks alot…
as if traffic isn’t screwed up enough !!!
They can claim all they want about
how good it is for the local economy…

but somehow…
IT NEVER ‘DRIBBLES’ DOWN TO CREATE
A BENEFIT TO THE AVERAGE TAXPAYER !!!

PLUS…
the stadium doesn’t provide public transportation access
and there is NOTHING to do in the immediate area of the stadium…
unless you ‘commute’ to NYC for total aggravation !

___________________

—————————-

predicting the future ?
or
is this always true ?

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong
and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong
is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong
it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
– Douglas Adams


THIS PIECE OF WISDOM
FROM THE HITCH-HIKER’S GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE…
is what we face in the
BP OIL SPILL FIASCO !!!

AND CONCERING THE OIL SPILL ?
If the White House is content to let BP,
as the experts (more so than any gov’t force),
run the show because of lack of alternatives…
HOW ABOUT LOOKING OUTSIDE THE USA ?
I haven’t heard of the White House courting
possible solutions & equipment from other countries !

THE  WHITE  HOUSE  SOLUTION?
Quadruple taxes on oil to pay for clean-ups !
(you’ll pay for it ALL when they add it to the price at the pump)
AND IN ANOTHER FEW LIFETIMES
THERE MAY BE SOME IMPROVEMENT !


_____________________

TOO MANY NON-PC JOKE CAPTIONS

RUNNING THRU MY MIND…



–INSERT YOUR OWN PUNCH-LINE HERE–

_____________________

if movies are your forte….

MYSTERY MOVIE QUOTE  WAV’S ARE E-MAILED DAILY….
a Wav & a Clue, is it New ?, a Classic ?, or a Rarity ?…
to get in on the fun (and the mailing list)
email  —>   TheOneBuff@aol.com
OR USE THE LINK—> Sign Me Up For Buffery
join the BUFFERY, AND GET BUFFER-IZED…
(remember to open your e-mailboxes to game senders.)


—————————–

Mister Hill thought it a good time

to have his BUFFERITE movie experts

get on board RIP for the last line of the movie contest…

HIS REASONING ?

Nice easy breezy RIP tonight.

You didn’t offend anybody!!!! ROFL.

(so if they go check www.RIPRenfield.com they won’t be shocked)

HE CAUGHT ME THOUGH…
The issue was ‘easy breezy’ on purpose, in case ‘my girl’
KELLIE MARTIN has a GOOGLE ALERT set for herself,
and she ends up ‘thumbing’ thru ANOTHER issue…
I didn’t want to come across as too big an a-hole…
(just in case)
THERE’S ALWAYS A TINY CHANCE,
KELLIE MIGHT FIND ME HARMLESS (I AM)

AND DROP A COMMENT TO RIP RENFIELD (.com)
(hint, hint)

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO MY USUAL PERVERSON !!!


THE MOVIE CONTEST?
BEST LAST LINE OF A MOVIE…
(see last RIP issue for details)

__________________

the submissions to the

BEST LAST LINE OF A MOVIE CONTEST

KEEP ROLLING IN…
(I think I see a winner in this batch)

SOME REALLY GOOD STUFF CAME IN…

mike (newbil)

My favorite last lines are from The Bridges at Toko Ri.
Actual last line is over the squawk box…LAUNCH JETS!
but the preceeding lines, spoken by the Admiral(Fredric March) lead into that command:
“Where do we get such men? They leave this ship and they do their job.
Then they must find this speck lost somewhere on the sea.
When the find it, they have to land on it’s pitching deck.
Where do we get such men? “

mister hil

Jack Lemmon to James Cagney in Mister Roberts
after learning Roberts has died. He screws up his courage and assumes
the mantle of the crew’s protector that Roberts had held.
“Now what’s this crud about no movie tonight!”

Donna Reed to Deborah Kerr in From Here To Eternity
after making up a fanciful story of how Prewitt
had died during the attack on Pearl Harbor:
“Robert E. Lee Prewitt. Isn’t that a silly old name?”

And Brandon De Wilde’s desperate
“SHANE!”

mikey (onceaday)

“Hello everydody, this is Mrs. Norman Main”
from A Star Is Born

StGOLD

“It was Beauty killed the Beast.”
-King Kong

anovich

The jagged edge:
” Fuck him;  he’s trash. ”

Kill Bill vol. 2
No. You’re not a bad person.
You’re a terrific person.
You’re my favorite person.
But every once in awhile…
you can be a real cunt !

penquin500

How about
“I am, George, I am.”
from WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF,
“She asked me to.”
from THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY?
“Rich people can nickel and dime you to death!”
from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE

nancy h (fetch)

Silence of the Lambs
“I’m having an old friend for dinner.”

Then there’s Back to the Future
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

from magisterp

“For A Few Dollars More” (1965)
Any trouble, boy?
Monco (Clint Eastwood): No, old man.
Thought I was having trouble with my adding.
It’s all right now.


thomcr

Love Me or Leave Me
“That girl can sing—about that, I was never wrong.”

lurky

A Boy and his Dog, The dog, who in the movie can speak telepathically,
delivers the last line.   Johnson’s character Vic(the dog calls him Albert)
is given a choice of the girl he has connected with giving him
sex in perpetuity or saving his sidekick the dog.
The last scene shows him Bar B Q ing the girl to feed the dog
and the dog saying as they walk out of scene
“Well, I’d certainly say she had marvelous judgment,
Albert, If not particularly good  ‘taste’ “.


____________________

CALLING PLANET EARTH…

I’ve had this discussion (argument) with various people…
Non-secured wireless networks in YOUR house,
or open WIFI locations, allow OTHERS
to download illegal material anonymously !

PEOPLE SEEM TO THING THAT SOMEONE
‘LEMMING’ OFF YOUR SIGNAL CAN BE TRACED
TO THEIR INDIVIDUAL COMPUTER,
not just YOUR IP Address !

Well… Germany is looking to make it law
that YOU have to secure YOUR wireless network
under penalty of law (fine) !
Much stricter in prosecuting shared copyrighted material,
a case was just settled against someone charged,
who proved he was out of the country at the time.

HE WASN’T PENALIZED FOR STEALING,
BUT WAS FINED FOR THE OPEN WIFI !!!!

ENCRYPY… ENCRYPT… ENCRYPT
(it’s easy, just google your router)

——     ——

NEXT… LOGO (the gay channel)

I’ve been see-ing advertisements (on hetero-channels)
for some new comedy shows they are debuting…
THEY LOOK HILARIOUS !
They also appear to be using gay stereo-types
that would get you fired in the work-place,
or ostracized (AND fired) if you were a media person…

WHAT IS ALLOWED FOR ALL

AND WHAT IS HOMOPHOBIC ?

YOU CAN’T TELL THE PLAYERS
WITHOUT A SCORECARD !!!

(best to keep your mouth shut, lest you be ‘labeled’)

—–    —–

Then there’s the case of some group
calling for the boycott of NEWSWEEK Magazine
for an opinion piece someone wrote about
a REALLY gay actor (from Will & Grace)
playing a ’straight guy’ in a play on Broadway(?)

I didn’t read the piece, but the gyst of it seems to be
why is a ‘gay’ actor playing a straight part?
(actually, it’s called acting)
If you can pull off the believe-ability aspect of the role,
without taking the audience out of the show…
GOD BLESS YOU
(but if known for your sexuality, it’s an uphill battle
for both the actor and the audience)

BUT THEN AGAIN…
IT’S BROADWAY (wink,wink)

BUT THIS IS A PICK & CHOOSE AREA TOO…

FOR EXAMPLE…
If you have a caucasian play a stereo-typical

CHARLIE CHAN in 2010…

it might be insulting to asians & asian actors…

or if you used JACKIE CHAN to play JFK,
it would be hard for him (hard for the audience?) to pull off !

AND I’M SURE THERE ARE MANY OTHER EXAMPLES
THAT MIGHT GENERATE DIS-BELIEF or OFFENSE…

AGAIN…

YOU CAN’T TELL THE PLAYERS
WITHOUT A SCORECARD !!!

(best to keep your mouth shut, lest you be ‘labeled’)

_______________________

SOME GREAT SALUTING PICS…
as they used to say in VIET NAM..

.
” ME SO HORNY !!! “

____________________

A LATE MOVIE CONTEST ENTRY !!!

LISA J went wild !!!

(I had to give her her own section)

Here’s some of her all-time favorites…

From Silence of the Lambs:
“I do wish we could chat longer,
but I’m having an old friend for dinner. Bye.”

From The Shawshank Redemption:
“I hope I can make it across the border.
I hope to see my friend and shake his hand.
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.”

From Stand By Me:
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12.
Jesus, does anyone?”


There’s still a few scenes to go but no lines after this one…
from Return of the Jedi:
“Oh. No, it’s not like that at all. He’s my brother.”
(yeah, sure… sounds like a han solo excuse in a gay bar)

AND WITH THAT… HERE’S THE LAST ONE…

From M*A*S*H –
“That is all.”
(over the camp loudspeaker)

——–

SINCE I’M THE JUDGE
YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH MY
SENSIBILITIES(?) (or lack there-of)

(I’m leaning towards SHAWSHANK & KILL BILL 2)

I’m not eligible.. but…
ONE SUBMISSION EVERYONE MISSED…
TITANIC… you have to listen VERY closely at the end…

” OOPS “
(when the diamond goes over the side)


____________________

I WAS CAUGHT CLUE-LESS WHEN…

An asian guy in the milk aisle of a Walmart

asked ME if cottage cheese was ‘CURD’ ?

DO I LOOK LIKE MARSHA STEWART ?
(I know.. martha)

He described curd as yogurt without the flavor

(no clue here… never tried yogurt… not ever)

I described the cottage cheese as being lumpy…

I HAD TO KNOW…

Curds are a dairy product obtained by curdling (coagulating) milk
with rennet or an edible acidic substance
and then draining off the liquid portion (called whey).
The increased acidity causes the milk proteins
to tangle into solid masses, or curds. Curd products vary by region

and include cottage cheese,

quark (both curdled by bacteria and sometimes also rennet)
and paneer (curdled with lemon juice).

SO, NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS ME…

(go ahead.. ask away)

CURDS ARE THE LUMPS IN COTTAGE CHEESE !!!



___________________________

GETTING  OLD  IS  TERRIBLE…

I somehow got re-visited by a decades old injury…
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAUSED THE PROBLEM !

It started with a ‘pulled’ calf muscle…
a day or 2 later, the strain moved to my achilles tendon…
and now is firmly planted in my arch-heel area…
PLANTAR FASCIITIS !!!
It can last for years before it ‘heals’…
and, of course, I’m painfully on my feet all day…
and EVERY step is painful !
(after 3 or 4 hours you get numb to the pain)
It’s even been painful sitting down… dull instead of sharp !

I go the HEEL CUP, ace bandage route,
and find NEW BALANCE shoes give the right support…
Hopefully the extra support & immobilization
will turn into relief in the short run,
and make it go away in the long run !
IT’S WORKED FOR ME BEFORE I GOT OLD !
(I’ve literally been fine for 20 years)

It’s crazy to me that it started so high on my leg,
and worked its way to MY problem area !
MAYBE I ALTERED MY NORMAL WALK WITH THE ‘PULL’ ?

The only real relief I get is at home…

I turn the gravity down to 75% earth normal
and the lighter load gives me a break.
I can’t turn the gravity any lower,
I’d never be able to function outside the house !

(wouldn’t it be nice, if it were that easy)

______________________

IT’S NO SECRET…

I’ve mentioned it many times before…

speaking as a big ‘pussy’…
(who never joined the military)

I HAVE THE GREATEST RESPECT
FOR THOSE  WHO DID CHOOSE TO JOIN
THE MILITARY WITH THE INTENTION OF
KEEPING OUR COUNTRY SAFE & FREE !
(they do us all proud)

THANKS TO THOSE WHO SERVED
AND
THANKS & TEARS FOR THOSE WHO DIED

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius
TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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