† RIP Renfield #553 – ALMOST FAMOUS †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #553 – ALMOST FAMOUS †

May 22, 2010

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THE CORPORATION EVEN HAS MERCHANDISE !!!

RIP T-shirts, RIP tote bags, RIP coffee mugs,
even RIP back-scratchers !!!

I’M ENTITLED TO CONSIDER MYSELF ‘ALMOST FAMOUS’ !!!

Well, I’M entitled to my delusions… the rest of the world, eh ?

I’M WORKING ON IT !!!

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I had the following DEATH NOTICE sent to me
and was accused of ‘killing’ the man !
(or know it was coming)

from RIP Renfield #551
While eating a ‘regular’ ice cream sandwich,

I started to wonder why…

the CHIP-WICH lost popularity ?

They are still around I suppose,
but there was a time they were the rage !!!

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Not a word in recent years about this product…
I bring it up for no reason, out of the blue…

and… a week later… the creator drops dead at 67 !!!

(I’m a little worried for ROSE MARIE, I joked about jinxing her too)

R.I.P

Richard LaMotta,
Creator of Chipwich Ice Cream Sandwich, Dies at 67



On May 1, 1982, Mr. LaMotta dispatched 60 street-cart vendors,
each wearing pith helmets and khakis, to the streets of Manhattan
to begin selling his 4  1/2-ounce concoction
for what at the time was a pricey $1 each.
A few hours later, all 25,000 Chipwiches had been gobbled —
the start of something big.
Within two weeks, Mr. LaMotta was selling 40,000 a day,
and by the middle of that summer,
the Chipwich plants in Queens, N.Y., and Lodi, N.J.,
were turning out 200,000 a day.

LaMotta did well by selling the company,
which was eventually ‘absorbed’ by Nestle
(who retired the brand in favor of their own version)

AND IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING…
His cousin was the middleweight boxing champion Jake LaMotta.

(GET IT ?  ICE-CREAM-RECORDS)

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NOT SURE IF IT WAS ILLNESS,

OR JUST TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE…

but, even with most of a night’s deep sleep…
I WAS STILL FIGHTING EXHAUSTION… DAILY !

AND NOW I’M ALSO FIGHTING STUPIDITY !!!

Mothers Day weekend I managed to ‘whittle’
half a dozen things off my ‘to do’ list,
and was feeling some ‘breathing room’…

I went to bed sunday night (early)…
with a full belly… I did Mom Day breakfast…
A FRIGGIN’ FEAST !!!
and then to my mother’s house 4 hours later…
for a full TURKEY DINNER and smorgasborg besides !

I SLEEP LIKE A ROCK !!!
Monday morning my ALARM CLOCK for work…
I ‘drag’ myself back to consciousness (I usually wake easy),
fighting to shake off my tired-ness…
I go into my normal morning ‘routine’…
and nearly half-an-hour later notice that my clocks are off !
(or is it my tired, blurry eyes playing tricks on me?)

NOPE… THE CLOCKS WERE RIGHT !!!

For maybe the first time in my life,
I set the alarm for an hour earlier than I had to wake up !
and there was no getting back to sleep !!!

I LOST AN HOUR OF ‘SCHEDULED’ SLEEP !!!
AND IT WASN’T EVEN DAYLIGHT SAVINGS DAY !
(and felt it all day)
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ?

IT REALLY SUCKED !!!

It was almost as bad as the time I woke up,
showered, dressed for work…
and then my wife sees me and asks
where I’m going on sunday morning ?
(a non-work day)

ONE MORE…
I decided to call out sick on my wife’s birthday years ago
to spend the day with her… (nice guy me)
I called, used my ’sick voice’ and everything…
after which I was told that I COULDN’T  call out sick…

THAT I PUT IN FOR A VACATION DAY
FOR MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY MONTHS BEFORE !!!
(I forgot)

OKAY… LAST ONE…
I called my supervisor early one morning…
told him I wasn’t coming in that day…
He went off on me… calling me a few choice names…
(seems they were a little short-handed already)
and ended with…
” AND WHY AREN’T YOU COMING IN ? ”

and I say…

” BECAUSE IT’S MY DAY OFF !!! ”

I’m not sure why, but he hung up on me after that  !!!


____________________

BUT WHEN I DID SLEEP…


dreaming again…

I HAD A GOOD ONE… THE SHORT VERSION?

I was in a room, hanging out with TONY SOPRANO.
I was ‘toying’ with some odd digital cameras…
small, flat & curvy.. 5 shot max.. video too…
I was snapping a few… mostly ignoring the rest of the room…

Tony had a few visitors while I was there…
(elliott gould, robert culp)
I forget which, but I made a joke in front of one of them.
Next, alone with Tony, his arm around me,
he tells me I can’t hang around with him anymore!

I ask…” ARE YOU GOING TO WHACK ME ? “
and add…
” I won’t say anything, actually I don’t know anything ! ”
(actually true… I had no idea about what HE did)

(dream ends)

Very vivid, not scary… kinda cool actually…
(not especially a fan, have no idea why the dream)

____________________

one of the greatest things that can happen to you

is to be honored in your own life-time…

(and not one of those cheesy-walk-of-fame-stars)

RENFIELD GOT HIS OWN TAG !!!

The same guy, Ron K., who made that great
VW-microwbus banner for Kent at FORGOTTEN HITS (.com),
went and made magic for moi !!!

COMING SOON TO A BILLBOARD

IN YOUR TOWN…



RON IS VERY INSIGHTFUL…
for instance…

HOW COULD HE KNOW THAT

I WAS ‘ODD & DISTURBING’ ?

(hmm.. maybe he’s read RIP?)


__________________



I’ve been ignoring KELLIE MARTIN in RIP lately…
but this came to mind…

(I had a good run of ‘fun’ items featuring her over the years)

THIS PAST MAY 15th WAS HER WEDDING ANNIVERSARY !

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

(no makeup necessary, a regular person)

She’s at that ’sweet spot’ in life…
Settled in with husband, career, young child (fun age),
and seemingly juggling them all nicely !
YOUNG FAMILY IS THE BEST TIME !
ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD !!!

But in one of those infinite alternate universes,
SHE’S SHARING THE GOOD TIMES WITH ME !
(even though I can’t see myself in her busy, ambitious, lifestyle)
Plus too many years difference between us in this universe .

So as long as I got the alternate universe going for me,

I’ll settle for that !
I see no reason for me to just
wish her well and be happy for her in this universe…

And leaving me here lacking?  oh, well !

She has been told of RIP Renfield,
perhaps even visited the site to see if I was ‘dangerous’…
(dangerous? my kids, when tots, laughed at my ‘mad’ face)
I’ve made contact (xmas card to her home)
with her, AND, I’m sure, the ‘kook’ folder…
(I admire from a distance, no stalking… anymore)
((fan acquaintances are way too dangerous & chance-y,
I wouldn’t want to make ANYONE un-comfortable))


SPEAKING OF STALKING?
If you wonder why I have her anniversary memorized?
IT’S ALSO MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY !
(although I have a decade-and-a-half on her)
SHE COPIED ME, NOT ME HER !!!

and one more endearing thing about her?

CHECK THE PHOTO



That’s KELLIE (Dr.Lucy Knight) at the TVLAND AWARDS,
standing between her ER co-stars….
Dr.’ROCKET’ ROMANO & Doctor Who’s PROFESSOR RIVER SONG,
okay she was Dr. Green’s wife, Elizabeth, too…
BUT STANDING SIDE-BY-SIDE WITH A ‘DOCTOR WHO’ CHARACTER
(as a fellow-actress, co-star, professional)
CAN ONLY IMPRESS ME ALL THE MORE !!!

GOOD FOR YOU KELLIE, YOU GO GIRL !!!

(Romano’s character was an arrogant bastard,
but was ’sympatico’ with Kelly’s character… some of his
most memorable scenes concerned her)

ONE MORE THING…
I’ve often noticed that Kellie has an aversion to panty-hose
and likes to show-off those bruised, VERY white legs often… HOT !!!


__________________

DOCTOR WHO ?

HE GETS AROUND…  BUT, THE GOLF COURSE ?
or  THE WAFFLE HOUSE ?

(this one fooled me at first)

THE DOCTOR IS ‘GIANT’ TO ME…

BUT…?

the doctor has been getting a bit ‘frisky’ lately…

but this would be ridiculous !!!

It should read… “the physician who treated Woods…”

_____________________

RENFIELD

HEAL THY SELF

EVER NOTICE THAT ‘HEAL  THY‘ COMBINES
TO SPELL ‘HEALTHY‘ ?

an addition for an omission from last week…

PANTY vs. THONG

For pants? or shorts?
THE PANTY-LINE IS UBER-SEXY !!!
A THONG, on the other hand (ass?) in pants?

IT LOOKS UN-NATURAL !!!

the addition… insert here…

UN-NATURAL?

PERHAPS IT MAKES THE ASS

LOOK MUCH TOO NATURAL !!!

AND REALLY, WHAT IS MORE ATTRACTIVE, SEXIER ?
TOTAL NUDITY, A ‘NUDE’ OUTLINE UNDER CLOTHING,
or a LINGERIE CLAD BODY (or panty lines) ?


IT’S DISTURBING, NOT SEXY… AGAIN.. TOO MUCH ASS !
TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO A MOSTLY UN-ATTRACTIVE-ASS-ET !!!
(it can actually ‘disguise’ a nice ass)

OKAY…

I’M FINE NOW… THE OMISSION WAS BOTHERING ME…
EVEN MORE THAN MIS-SPELLING ‘MANNIQUIN’…

IT’S …. mannEquin !!!


_________________________

I was doing a survey on a piece of kitchen equipment
I was thinking is approaching obsolescence…
much the way cell phones have cut into the wrist-watch business!

THE ELECTRIC CAN OPENER !

The first person I asked was a stranger in an elevator.
“Funny you ask”… I NEVER had one
and then an annoyed friend bought me one last xmas !”

The next, a yes, the next, a no…

seemed to go 50-50 !
But even at that, a few decades ago
it would have been mandatory, necessary equipment
for nearly ALL modern kitchens !

THE VIEW IN MY HOUSE ?
It takes up counter-space, is on the same level
as a water source (the sink), it uses electricity,
it’s not as easy to clean as a manual can opener…
(dirt, germs, bacteria factory)
We have a ‘fancy’ manual one… a few turns and the lid
comes off (no sharp edges)… good for security !
(I rinsed one out, put sugar substitute in it, and replaced the lid)

easily cleaned… just drop in the dishwasher…
and a non-fancy one works just as well !

and really, how many cans do you open in a week?
IS IT WORTH AN ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE ?
(slow, loud, dirty, non-green, & more trouble than it’s worth)

______________________

an odd episode…

CSI: MIAMI

In a nutshell, the tree-hugging, (hot) female lawyer,
always fighting ‘windmills’…
(eco-destroying companies)
Fighting for hundreds of millions,
but lives in a modest (but nice) condo…
gets poisoned and has a week to live !

Turns out the ‘killer’ was her ’source’ inside
one of the companies she was after…

(THIS IS WHERE I LOST SYMPATHY FOR HER)

Although it was for the greater good…

she ‘came-on-to’ some lonely, nerdy guy on the inside…
touchy-feely, kiss on the forehead, etc.
THE POOR GUY THOUGHT THIS WAS IT !!!
(same reason a girl in a bar can’t smile at just anyone)
AND SHE TOSSES HIM TO THE CURB
WHEN HE’S OUTLIVED HIS USEFULNESS !

I found myself thinking ‘BITCH’ for her tactics !
This guy put it ALL on the line for her…
IF THIS WAS HER ‘MODUS OPERANDI’…
I’M SURPRISED SHE WENT ‘UN-TOUCHED’
AS LONG AS SHE DID !!!

SHE WAS ASKING FOR TROUBLE,
AND SHE GOT IT !!!
AS A FELLOW ‘LOSER’, I SYMPATHIZED WITH HIM !!!
(she was thinking world, not the individual she was effing with)

Like Chris Rock said about OJ…
(ex-wife living the life in HIS house, HIS car, on HIS dime… with a toy-boy)
(and like the guy who flew the plane into the IRS building)

” I don’t approve of what he did, but I understand ! ”


___________________

To be honored … AGAIN

in the same lifetime… I’m humbled !!!

I GIVE YOU THE MAY 14th 2010

“TODAY’S GOOD GUY”







and vice versa…
ed’s blog is good for your soul too…

I’M A DAILY VISITOR TO THE ‘MARIMBA’ BLOG !!!


___________________

Sitting here at home, day off, sore achilles tendon…
I happen to catch the great ending of

THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALENCE…

It got me wondering…
WHAT  IS THE BEST LAST LINE OF A MOVIE ?
REALLY MEMORABLE ONES….

In the context of the movie…
” NOTHING IS TOO GOOD FOR THE MAN
WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALENCE ! “
seems pretty hard to beat…. (still makes me tear up)

Writing this, another comes to mind.. a much older movie…

ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES
when Rocky Sullivan (jimmy cagney) gets the ‘chair’ (dies ‘yellow’),
and priest Pat O’brien tells the ’saddened, non-believing (dead end) kids
that adored tough guy Rocky…

“It’s true, boys. Every word of it. He died like they said.
All right, fellas. Let’s go and say a prayer for a boy
who couldn’t run as fast as I could. …”

(one having escaped the train yard bulls,
rocky getting caught and sent to his first of many jail terms)

IF SOME GOOD ONES GET SENT TO ME,
I’LL MAKE A RIP ITEM OUT OF THEM,
AND PUBLISH IN A FUTURE ISSUE…
Obvious, much quoted, iconic movies, ala CASABLANCA,
MALTESE FALCON, SOME LIKE IT HOT, GWTW, ETC.
are ineligible… use your brains…  think !

respond to:  RIPRenfield@aol.com

(might even be a RIP T-shirt in it for someone for a good response)


I’m running this on RIP,
Mr Hill is running it at his movie game at THEONEBUFF@AOL.COM
and it has a good chance of showing up at
RON & FEZ on XM-SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO…

SHOULD BE ALOT OF FUN !!!

if movies are your forte….

MYSTERY MOVIE QUOTE  WAV’S ARE E-MAILED DAILY….
a Wav & a Clue, is it New ?, a Classic ?, or a Rarity ?…
to get in on the fun (and the mailing list)
email  —>   TheOneBuff@aol.com
OR USE THE LINK—> Sign Me Up For Buffery
join the BUFFERY, AND GET BUFFER-IZED…
(remember to open your e-mailboxes to game senders.)


______________________

the multi-state POWER-BALL-LOTTERY…

I couldn’t prove winning smaller prizes was easy
considering the VERY little I’ve won in years of play,
so I can’t see the reason people would
buy-into this stupid option for betting !

You pick your numbers, and for a dollar more,
they will double your prize money…
($2 more, triple it, $3 more quadruple it, etc)
You can do this up to 10 times ($10)
and limited to a $2 million max on a win.
(NO DOUBLE IF YOU WIN THE BIG TAMALE)

I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU…
BUT IF I WERE PLANNING ON SPENDING
AN ADDITIONAL $10 ON TICKETS,
I’D RATHER HAVE MULTIPLE TICKETS,
WITH MULTIPLE NUMBERS,
or the same number for 10 drawings,
INSTEAD OF 1 DRAWING ON ONLY 6 NUMBERS !

I DON’T PLAY FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED
(which I’m not see-ing either),
I PLAY FOR THE LIFE-ALTERING GIANT WIN !!!


THE GAME THEY ARE TRYING TO PUSH…

IS A SUCKERS BET !!!
(unless you win, of course)

SPEAKING OF SUCKERS… OK.. STUPIDITY…
I threw away this week’s lotto tickets BEFORE the drawing !
No BIG winner for the first draw… we’ll see for the 2nd…
(who-ever thought I’d be rooting for a loser)
and I’ll never know the quick-pick numbers on 1 ticket…
I’ll go to court if the ticket is traced to MY store & isn’t claimed….
(in a year)
BUT I’M TOTALLY SCREWED FOR ANY LESSER PRIZE…
AND WITH MY LUCK… THIS WAS THE TICKET !!!

GRRRRRRRR….

_____________________

FROM THE VAULT…

I HAPPENED TO GO THRU SOME OLD STUFF
randomly testing the integrity of some of my archives…
(very anal, save every gem-of-a-word out of my fingers)

AND FOUND THIS…
and contacted a RIP reader from the old days…
PRE-911, OVER 10 YEARS AGO !

SUBJECT :
RE: if this address is still good ..
read this..you’ll get a kick out of it…

I enjoy your email very much. Definitely brings a laugh
and you know we all can use those every day.
You are a very funny and witty guy.
Kinda neat. Keep up the great humor.
Happy belated New Years, Susan


from Sue (2010)…
Thank you for sending this.
Wow, I vaguely remember but I see the date
and it was 10 years ago, no wonder! lol
Is RIP Renfield still in circulation?

WOW… 10 YEARS GONE ?
SHE MUST BE JUST ABOUT ABLE TO GET A DRINK LEGALLY !!!
AND IF SHE THOUGHT I WAS GOOD THEN?
I DON’T KNOW IF HER HEART CAN STAND
HOW GOOD I’VE BECOME OVER THE YEARS !!!


YES, RIP IS STILL GOING STRONG !!!

10 YEARS LATER !!!

I’m like a bull-dog with his teeth in your ass…

I NEVER LET GO !!!

BUT I ‘DO’ GO… LIKE NOW… GRRRR…

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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