† RIP Renfield #552 – Junior Banner Sings †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
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† RIP Renfield  #552 – Junior Banner Sings †

May 15, 2010

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Okay… sometimes I do it just to amuse myself…

The name of the issue? JUNIOR BANNER ?

Not a spelling error… I didn’t mean the great 1972 film

with STEVE McQeen… JUNIOR BONNER

It’s just clever(?) word play ! A little badinage !
(About time I got to use that word)

I FINALLY got the pics of the singing bowl
I promised you last week in my closer…
One of my singing bowls, a lottery ticket,
a puja, and a chunk of Lapis Lazuli in it ?
Pulling out all the stops making that bowl scream
so that my ‘chakra’ will command a lottery windfall !!!

(not working as wanted, but, so far, 2 small wins totalling $5)
((and that $5 is a BIG improvements for me))

ANYWAY…

I have several TIBETAN SINGING BOWLS
(good for meditation & chanting)
and, in my house, the middle-sized one
(the most popular here),
is the ‘go-to’ guy… not his BIG brother…
and got the nickname JUNIOR years ago !

SO WHEN IT’S TIME FOR A SINGING BOWL BANNER,
it only makes sense (if you’re me) to call this

The JUNIOR BANNER Issue !!!

I’m sure JUNIOR and the BONNER CLAN won’t mind !!!

________________

i just don’t tribute enough women…

well… here’s one…

R.I.P

Dorothy Provine



Actress Dorothy Provine was best known for her roles as
Milton Berle’s wife and Ethel Merman’s daughter in
“It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”
& the high-kicking, leggy flapper  PINKY PINKHAM
in THE 1960s TV series “The Roaring 20s”.

“She was so beautiful,” her husband said.

Agreed.  I’d go so far as to say,
(as marilyn monroe was described in HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE)
“SHE WAS A ‘STRUEDEL’”

For me, she was one of those actresses, not often seen,
but that guys (me, anyway) kept a lookout for,
and took notice everytime she was on the screen !

For example, in a silly little tv movie called
WHO’S MINDING THE MINT?

I can still see her trying to ’shimmy’ (on her back)
under a light sensor alarm, her boobs standing high enough
that she had to slide back, flip over, and go under on her stomach !

AH… MEMORIES !!!


___________________________________

BUDGET CRISIS IN NY STATE

causes governor to mandate

one-day (unpaid) furloughs for state workers !

It’s not the end of the world,
even for those living paycheck-to-paycheck…
But it seems they ’stick-in-the-pin’
where it’ll get the most public reaction !!!
(instead of passing a budget… it’s all politics)

I understand that the ELECTED people
making the decisions…

FEEL THEIR PAIN

but how about

SHARING THEIR PAIN ?

Politicians too important to furlough?

Then ‘kick-back’ a day’s pay, or a week,
or all your salary until a budget is passed !!!

SHOW SOME URGENCY !!!

I’m always amazed at how many working people
have so little to do that they can go and protest
at a moment’s notice…
How about the furloughed employees
(staggered days off, so it can be done daily)
use the time to protest…. LOUDLY
(and campaign against individual politicians)
on the forced ‘free’ day they’ll have !
(or go to a casino for the day)

STANDING ‘EN MASSE’ IN FRONT OF THE
‘CLOSED’ GOV’T AGENCY
SHOULD MAKE A NICE STATEMENT !!!


______________

the SCHOOL BUDGET (as always here)

was defeated at the polls !!!

OUR GOVERNOR IS GOING TO CUT DEEPLY !!!

The teacher’s unions did not support him in the election,
and have no intention of having a civil relationship withe him…
(re: the ‘joke’ wishing him dead 2 weeks ago)

I’m a believer that teachers DO have a VERY
influential effect on their students…
politically and otherwise…
and they probably ‘worked-on’ the students
to get on their parent’s asses about voting… YES

SOMEHOW THE BUDGET DEFEAT
RILED THE STUDENTS AT MANY SCHOOLS
ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM WALK-OUT OF CLASS,
MID-DAY, TO SHOW THEIR DIS-PLEASURE…
(get out of class?  I’d be ‘in’ in a second)

Too bad ‘punishments’ will go on permanent records,
and could tip the balance scale for acceptance to college…
(probably not, but who needs it?)
OR AT THE VERY LEAST…
take away class time !


THE TEACHERS SHOULD HAVE EDUCATED
THOSE ‘KIDS’ IN THE ART OF
EFFECTIVE PROTEST !!!

Instead of walking-out and looking like a bunch of a-holes,
they should have had the protest at lunch-time,
or after-school, to show their dedication to the cause.

ACTUALLY…

MY idea would have been more clever
and less critical for the protest-ee…
HAVE EVERY STUDENT PUT A PENNY
IN AN ENVELOPE AND MAIL IT TO THE STATE HOUSE,
OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR…
suggesting the pennies go to budget the schools !
The weight of the mailbags would be attention getting…
perhaps private donors could be found to match
the monies sent to the governor’s office in protest !

IT WOULD GET NATIONAL ATTENTION
AND PUT THE EYES OF THE COUNTRY
ON THE SCHOOL FUNDING !!!

Those ‘eyes’ can’t hurt…

the governor’s every cut would be questioned !

______________________

I might have mentioned recently

my knack of having (at arm’s length at home)

ANYTHING you might need…

(took, twine, advil, office supply.. you name it)
and for so easily having the obscure at hand…

My daughter said…
“WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU?”

WELL… I surpassed myself…

My son came to New Jersey and was going
to have a physical from OUR doctor…
My wife mentioned to me that he had to bring
a sample… his first urine of the day.

SO… SHE ASKS ME…
” DO YOU HAVE A SPECIMEN (piss) BOTTLE ? ”

I reach over to a shelf above my dresser
and hand her a URINE SPECIMEN BOTTLE !!!
(to her shock)

By coincidence… I had an appointment the week before,
and while there, made an appointment for August
for my own physical… so they gave me the bottle
on my way out the door !!!

MY ‘KNACK’ CAN LOOK SPOOKY TO SOME !!!


_______________

dreams… dreams… dreams…

I dream CRAZY too sometimes…
Becuase of a dream, I warned my nephew (3 days later)
to keep his toddler away from water…

I had a dream that a tom-thumb sized baby
(that I somehow knew was her)
was in a clear wine bottle struggling in liquid.
I poured her limp body into the kitchen sink strainer,
put her in the palm of my hand, and blew on her,
and tried to CPR her chest.. to no avail !

I’M TOLD THAT THE DAY BEFORE
THEY WERE AT THE PERTH AMBOY, NJ WATERFRONT
AND MY NEPHEW HAD A REAL UN-COMFORTABLE DAY
AFTER THE KID WANDERED TOO CLOSE TO THE EDGE
OF THE WALKWAY ON THE PIER !

I guess I really didn’t ‘nail it’…
but it gave me the courage to tell him a disturbing dream
I had about the toddler the next nite…

SHE WAS HAPPY AND PLAYING,
BUT WHEN I LOOKED I SAW THAT SHE
WAS MISSING THE ‘POINTER’ FINGER ON BOTH HANDS !
The stumps were rough edged like ‘bart simpson hair’, but healed.

I’M TOLD THAT THE NIGHT BEFORE,
HE AND HIS WIFE WATCHED SOME DOPEY TV SHOW
THAT PROVED HOW IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE
FOR YOU TO LOSE A FINGER IN A GARBAGE DISPOSAL !
(the nearer mechanism moves the food along,
cutting mechanism so far away, you need elbow depth to damage)
I HAD NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE SHOW !


BETWEEN THE 2 OF THOSE DREAMS
AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM,
I THINK I’M PRETTY IN TUNE WITH SOMEONE
IN THEIR HOUSE…

I’M TOLD TO DREAM ABOUT LOTTERY NUMBERS !!!
(as if I haven’t tried and tried again)
Once I had a ‘winning’ ticket in my hand (in a dream)…
I tried like hell to see & remember the numbers…
but I just couldn’t focus on them !!!

JUST MY (un) LUCK !!!


_________________

I was watching NCIS on tv.

A guy stopped to help a woman in a dis-abled car.
She ends up the criminal and shoots the good samaritan.

AND IT GOT ME THINKING…

FOR  YOUR  SAFETY  ?

Call… 911 on your cell phone (999 in the UK)
(dis-abled car may, or may not, have a phone)
Report the dis-abled car BEFORE you go over to help.
Include the make of the car and the license plate number.

THIS WAY…
AFTER THEY MURDER YOU,
THE COPS WILL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE
OF CATCHING YOUR KILLER !!!

If the other car’s occupants know you reported them,
they may let you live & just rob you !

SAFETY   SAFETY   SAFETY


_______________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with the BIG SHOTS!)

________________________

GOT A HEART ?

You’ll enjoy this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZIQUb-d4GQ


GO AHEAD…
give an ‘awww’…  a warm smile… damp eyes?
NO ONE IS LOOKING, LET LOOSE…


___________________



I was in the shower when I started wondering…
(yeah, the shower, so?)

HOW MANY OF THE DICK van DYKE SHOW cast
ARE STILL ALIVE ?
(could they do ANOTHER re-union)

DEAD

morey amsterdam (buddy sorrell)
richard deacon (mel coolie)

THE SHOW STILL DO-ABLE !

ALIVE

dick van dyke (rob petrie)
mary tyler moore (laura petrie
larry matthews (richie, their son)
carl reiner (alan brady)

ROSE MARIE (sally rogers) ?

I could not remember if she were alive or dead !!!
I could not see how she could pass
and I wouldn’t have tributed her !
I didn’t get a chance to look it up, but asked at work…

THE CONSENSUS ?

ROSE MARIE – DEAD !!!

Not only dead.. but one said since 1990 !
(I knew that was wrong… I saw at least one more recent re-union)



SO FOR THE RECORD…

ROSE MARIE IS ALIVE !!!

(but, according to imdb.com, hasn’t worked since 2003)

But she has a good excuse… AGE !!!

SHE’LL BE 87 IN AUGUST !!!
(but still going strong)

She first appeared as BABY ROSE MARIE
(pre-and-post-1930)

A pretty big star in her youth,

belting out tunes like an adult !!!


I HOPE I DIDN’T PUT THE JINX ON ‘RO’

I HAVE THAT EFFECT WAY TOO OFTEN !!!


___________________

I just introduced my nephew’s 3 year old daughter to

(the very popular, we saw them live)

THE ELEPHANT SHOW (from the 80’s)
(with sharon, lois, & brahm)

More specifically?

SKINNA-MARINK-A-DINKY-DINK
the very contagious song & ‘hand jive’…

SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THE MP3,
WHERE’S THE PICTURES?  (the video)
KIDS ARE THAT SPOILED ?
Her father explained it was music,
like the kind you listen to in the car !

RECENTLY I WALKED INTO MY DENTIST’S OFFICE…
singing the song…
and ALL the workers got their hands ‘moving’
to the remembered ‘gestures’ !!!

VERY FUNNY TO SEE !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEEsX69iIxY&NR=1

(there are a bunch of clips, this was the best I could find)

______________________

another good one…

my father used to watch with my kids,
it was one of their favorites…

TODAY’S  SPECIAL

(jeff was a dept.store mannequin that comes to life after closing)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cxLfIs051c

__________________

PANTY vs. THONG

As a garment I get to see…

I find the PANTY the much sexier under-item !
(and not granny panties, you know what I mean)

The THONG, even on the perfect body,
just  isn’t attractive or sexy !
(EVEN ON STRIPPERS)
(and, regular women?, it’s not for 99% of them for any reason)


AS FAR AS FASHION ?
I suppose there are dresses where a panty-line
is not desire-able (that’s why women wear slips.
But at least with a slip you don’t see
that highlighted, separate ‘cheek’ look !
(it might be comfortable, but I don’t think it works for
either you or the strippers you are emulating)
I LIKE A NICE ASS ON A GIRL,
BUT THE THONG LOOK REPELS ME !

For pants? or shorts?
THE PANTY-LINE IS UBER-SEXY !!!

EVEN IF NOT EXAGGERATED !
It’s something guys look for and appreciate !

A THONG, on the other hand (ass?) in pants?

IT LOOKS UN-NATURAL !!!

If you can tell that the woman is wearing a thong,
isn’t it the same as a panty-line?

And the ’separation line’ between the cheeks?
IT’S DISTURBING, NOT SEXY… AGAIN.. TOO MUCH ASS !
TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO AN UN-ATTRACTIVE-ASS-ET !!!
(it can actually ‘disguise’ a nice ass)

JUST TOO MUCH ASS…
TOO MUCH ATTENTION GIVEN TO AN AREA
MOST WOMEN AREN’T COMFORTABLE WITH !!!

A better choice than THONG ?
or the same with a double-cheeked outline of ass ?

GO COMMANDO !!!
(but wear a slip)

______________________

budget scams…

NYC was going to layoff 900 fire fighters…
NOW they reduce the number to 400
and want to look like heroes to the public & fire fighter unions !

They ALWAYS double or triple the number they expect
to make the original number look better !
ANNOUNCE TAXES TO RISE 20% ?

RAISE THEM 10% & TAKE BOWS !!!

THE BASTARDS !!!

—–     —–

OBAMA IN NYC

Comes to town to praise the police (t-shirt vendor?)
for thwarting the terrorist bombing !

RIGHT AFTER LOWERING HOMELAND SECURITY MONEY
TO NYC BY A WHOPPING 40% !!!

(now I’m hearing 25%… when it’s ONLY 20%
the gov’t will be heroes… THE BASTARDS)


Good thing too…

They probably need the money to buy band uniforms,
or bike trails, in Montanna where the terrorists
are rumored to be making a big strike !!!

THIS IS SECURITY MONEY

USE IT WHERE IT MAKES THE MOST SENSE !

(NY-NJ is terrorist central)

______

WELCOME TO TINY TOWN…

A record breaking birth !!!
A 6 pound, 14 inch high horse…
Perfectly formed, not a dwarf,
like the previous 9 pound record holder…


but as ELTON JOHN sang…

Hold me closer, TINY DANCER

(NOPE, NOT THIS GIANT !)

get a load of this

(submitted by my buddy Mikey from Tenn)

IF YOU READ CLOSELY,
YOU’LL SEE THAT ‘LITTLE SASSY’ (2-foot-10-inches tall)
COULD PROBABLY RIDE THAT HORSE
AND NOT HAVE HER FEET TOUCH THE GROUND !!!

LOOKING FOR A ‘LITTLE’ PUSSY ?

HERE  IT  IS…

This ad was found in THE NASHVILLE SCENE,
a local, village-type of magazine…
(the penny saver?)

www.NASHVILLESCENE.com

I LIKE ‘EM SMALL, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS !!!
A LITTLE TOO FREAK-ISH FOR ME !

I’ll stick with my ‘4-foot-10-inch’ cut-off height !!!


_______________________

I’ll stick with traditionally ‘hot’ girls…

like TALLULAH…

I GOT THE DEVIL IN ME TOO,
BUT NOT IN THE SAME ORIFICE !!!

(MINE IS MORE OF A MISCHIEVEOUS-NESS,
NOT AN ‘IMPLIED’ INSERTION)


very catchy tune…

from an old DOCTOR WHO…

1930’s NYC, Empire State Builing under construction,
depression in full swing…
and a flashy, sexy stage number (radio city?)…

The actress is MIRANDA RAISON
from the Brit spy series MI-5
(although you’d never recognize her as the same woman)

and had alot of fun sex-ing it up…

THIS IS HER as TALLULAH singing…



(double entendre?)

MY ANGEL PUT THE DEVIL IN ME
(it’ll get stuck in your head)

of course the video ’sells’ the song…
without the ’sell’, many songs don’t ‘get there’…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMbM5CeCE3E&NR=1
ignore the first 43 seconds, the ‘poster’ put his mark on it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxAyjj8xTG0
this one has edited-in doctor who clips


2 THINGS…

I was reminded of the song because they used it again
in a ’star wars’ type alien bar scene recently with Capt. Jack.
and
I love the angel wings costume,
and when she stands just so,
the outline of the wings to the crotch of her costume
make the shape of a heart !

(I’ve, ahem, watched this once or twice)

________________________

BEFORE I LEAVE…

A DOCTOR WHO UPDATE

The stories have been weak, & a bit too cutesy…
but the ‘weeping angels’ 2-parter might be the turning point…
(I’ve been able to see shows before they hit bbc america)
I’m starting to get used to the ‘new’ doctor…
and Amy, his companion, is starting to look good to me…
The outfit she wore in the ‘weeping angels’ 2-parter
was eye-catching & more than a bit sexy in an understated way…
(I KEPT A GOOD EYE ON HER)

YEP… LIKE I SAID…

I GOT THE DEVIL IN ME TOO !!!

(might be the weather, but alot of cleave-age seems available
for oogling these days,and I’m taking full advantage!)

I’m leaving you now…

IT’S TIME TO MAKE ‘JUNIOR’ SING…

IT CALMS ME DOWN…

and I need to get Amy & some memorable cleave-age off my mind…
and Tallulah… and panty lines… and ROSE MARIE???

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since I’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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