† RIP Renfield #550 – MOTHERS DAY †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #550 – MOTHERS DAY †

May 1, 2010

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I could either be right on the date
for publishing ON Mother’s Day…

or I could honor all you mutha’s all week long…

SO ENJOY YOUR WEEK MOMS !!!

HAPPY  MOTHER’S  DAY  !!!

MY mom is getting a new teapot…
(a friggin’ nice one, okay?)
Wife is getting a book from bbc america,
and candy from some place in Albany
that she really enjoyed (didn’t share either) !

(cards, flowers, breakfast, and a cheesecake too)

CANDY?

Check out this place… I’m getting the candy turtles…
(mixed nut, lite & dark chocolate assortment)
www.krausescandy.com
They deliver fresh, 1 day, non-overnite priced shipping…
I wanted to order early to make sure it got here on time,
but was told if i ordered monday,
they will make it, and ship it on monday,
and for $9 ship 2 pounds to NJ for tuesday !
(I’ll give it early, don’t want to take the chance)

________________________

I probably should have saved Dixie Carter
for the Mother’s Day Issue…
but I didn’t, so we’re going in another direction…

DOWN !!!

R.I.P

Meinhardt Raabe



Hollywood has said goodbye to actor Meinhardt Raabe,
who played the Munchkin coroner in The Wizard Of Oz.

Playing the coroner, he was one of nine Munchkins
to have had aspeaking part in Oz,
pronouncing the Wicked Witch of the East

“most sincerely dead”.

The actor lived a full life after Oz.

HE DID SOME ‘BIG’ THINGS !!!
A pilot and an instructor in the Civil Air Patrol during World War II;
Aspokesman for the Oscar Mayer hot dog company for 30 years;
and he was also a horticulturalist and teacher.

But the film always remained a large presence in his life.

(the munchkins MUST have had moms)

___________________________

M – Is for the Million things she gave me…

One of my contributions to the
RON & FEZ XM-SIRIUS Satellite Radio Show…
was this question I originally passed around work…

WHEN SOMEONE MARRIES
SOMEONE WITH KIDS,
DUE TO DEATH OR DIVORCE,

WHO COMES FIRST?
(whatever that means to you)
YOUR NEW SPOUSE ?  OR YOUR KIDS ?

They ‘ran’ with the question and round-tabled it…

THE RESULTS ?

Anyone without kids said spouse…
(usually the women marrying a guy with kids)
(guys thinking of the kids as transients, wife permanent)

and the ones who had kids, said ‘kids’…
claiming a bond that was in-escape-able !!!
AND THAT THERE WAS NO QUESTION OF
WHO GETS IN THE LIFEBOAT FIRST !

TOO BAD YOU CAN’T ALWAYS COUNT
ON YOUR KIDS TO PUT YOU FIRST !!!
(or second, or third, etc)

My personal opinion?
Anyone who puts a ‘new’ spouse ahead of their kids
could just as easily put in a replacement for you !

IT SMACKS OF A CERTAIN LACK OF COMMITMENT !

______________________

STAR  WARS  ?

I was just at my doctor’s office for a check-up…
and while waiting in the examination room…
I took notice of his old-style monitor, computer tower,
routers, and a bunch of wiring…

BACK IN THE DAY…
the office would have seemed futuristic !

But by today’s ‘fancier’ equipment…
THE TECHNOLOGY IS SHOWING IT’S AGE !

We have come a far way quickly though…

I was watching an episode of STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE
and the captain was relaxing
watching a water polo game on his I-PHONE !
Well, it might as well have been an I-phone,
but when they made the show, what? less than 10 years ago?
IT WAS PIE-IN-THE-SKY TECHNOLOGY OF THE FUTURE !!!


___________________

old tv shows ?

Nothing on tv, I turned to something

I’d never seen before…

48 HOURS MYSTERY

A show that’s been around a long time…
I just never had the ‘patience’ or desire to tune in…
I MUST HAVE CAUGHT SOME GOOD ONES !
(I watched 3 in-a-row old ones on a cable channel)

THE ONE REALLY NOTICE-ABLE THING TO ME ?

It seemed that everyone involved in a ’show’ crime
lived in a great, new, modern home on a nice property,
had wonderful furniture and interior design…
drove fairly new vehicles (some with vanity plates)…

AND THEY ALL SEEMED TO WORK
IN SANDWICH SHOPS, OR VETERINARY OFFICES !!!
(and not always full-time)

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG ?
I work like a dog and they live better !!!


____________________

an interesting concept from doctor who…

a ‘perception filter’ !

Something that keeps you from looking (or notice-ing)
something obvious except from the corner of your eye….

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY

GLOVE (box) COMPARTMENT
in the 1992 vehicle I drive daily !

I have a 2nd one under the front, passenger seat
that has all my ‘papers’… registration, insurance card, etc.
but the one built into the dashboard ?

I CAME TO REALIZE THAT I HADN’T LOOKED IN IT
FOR YEARS (how many?) AND HAD NO IDEA
WHAT WAS IN THERE !
(right there always in front of me, but never ’seen’)

I don’t think I’ve been in there since 2000, pre-911 !
I found some hard candy, a tootsie pop, some artificial sweetener,
some old hand written directions, a small, junky radio…
and the item that gave away the year…
it was an un-used car charger adapter for a cell phone,
my first cell phone, that was replaced 6 or 7 years ago !

Oh… I threw anything ‘edible’ away !

Lots of room in there now… that I don’t need…

I FOUND SOME COUPONS IN THERE…
A book of Burger King ones,
and ones for a Quick Check Convenience Store…

I SCANNED THEM…

CHECK OUT THE EXPIRATION DATES !!!








PRE- 911 ?

NOT EVEN FROM THIS CENTURY !!!

I tried to use them…
the clerks had a shock and a good laugh…
but didn’t accept them !
(I THINK THEY COULD HAVE THROWN ME A FREEBIE)

I put them back in the glove compartment
and there they’ll stay until I finally am forced
to get rid of OLD FAITHFUL !

As my wife pointed out…

the car would probably still run,
but the car body will enventually give out !
(hmmm… did she mean the car, or me?)


_______________________

I have some ‘occasions’ coming up

that require GREETING CARDS…
my ‘close’ family always complains about
how much a decent card costs and not to bother…
(but you have to, well I think so anyway)

SO… not for my kids or wife or mother…
but for brothers & sisters…
I got into the habit of NOT signing their cards !
Instead I insert a SIGNED index card
with my regards & feelings…
and leave it blank so they can re-use
MY very clever cards for someone who cares…

I DON’T CONSIDER IT BEING CHEAP,
JUST BEING A LITTLE LESS WASTEFUL !
(and it saves someone else a few bucks)

My one nephew had the birthday option while growing up…
a card with $10 in it,  or I hand him $20…
HE ALWAYS TAKES THE $20 !!!


_____________________

SPEAKING OF BEING A BIT FRUGAL…

I was in a DOLLAR STORE the other day…
(some things don’t last, so I buy cheap)
I got a new hand mirror to hang in the shower for shaving,
some of those long lighters for lighting a gas grill,
a 100 foot thin, nylon rope to keep in the trunk of the car,
stupid, but useful stuff, I don’t want to pay full price for…


ANYWAY…
There was a very shapely YOUNG woman (17 or 18)
blocking enough of the end of the aisle

(the stores are usually cramped with lots of stuff)
so that I couldn’t get by…
(well, I could, but might get my face slapped or arrested)
but I got a smile and a giggle when,
instead of saying ‘excuse me’…

I SAID…

” I COULD SQUEEZE BY YOU,
BUT IT MIGHT SEEM WAY TOO CREEPY ! “

(she moved out of the way… ‘rats’ !)


____________________

COMPUTER REGISTRY PROBLEMS ?

Something happened to my laptop a few months ago.
It runs fine once it ‘warms up’…
it used to start-up in 2 minutes or so,
since the problem?  5-6 minutes, sometimes more…
I figure something invisible is running in the background
and I can’t find it by normal means.

I googled TOSHIBA PINGER.EXE (a suspicious character)
and found that it SHOULDN’T be a problem…

but on the same page was an ad for a free registry scan.

UNI-BLUE REGISTRY BOOSTER
The ‘free’ scan showed 1200 (fixable) registry errors !
Thinking this might be MY problem,
I reluctantly sprung for the $29.95 activation !

Googling a review of the product… it seemed legit !
and highly rated !  It may have made a difference
in booting-up, but didn’t return me to normal !

I checked the reviews because I thought it could
be a great scam.  Tell the person scanning ANYTHING
and that person has no way to dis-prove it !
I have 30 days to ask for a refund…
but I’m thinking that it might be ANOTHER problem
I can head-off-at-the-pass before the BIG crash !
The reviewer had 35 registry errors and had
a 5 second improvement on the test maching…
My 1200 errors (in 5 years) ?  WHOA BOY !!!

I think I’ll just  take my lumps and pay da man da money !

(they throw in SYSTEM TWEAKER for free,
but I don’t know what to do with it)

WARNING
Good think I bought it, people complain about
not being able to remove the ’sample-test’ program
if you DON’T purchase it !

ADDENDUM…
I requested a refund. I like it just fine,
but I’m expecting a ‘crash’ on my laptop,
and figure it’ll be easier to re-buy than to explain
and get it running again.


______________________

formerly of MysteryLyrics.info,
Dave’s gone off in another direction,

CHECK OUT … LUTHEA SALOM

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

———

and DAVE still has time

for the social networking site

with an obvious theme…



http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

————

this brought a smile to my face…

I forgot I used to be half-way smart…
I googled my ‘real’ name, the one I keep off the internet,
except for a ‘bill’ I was involved with in New Jersey.
I was pleasantly surprised to see a new entry under my name…

COMPUTE MAGAZINE (1986)
a mainstay in early Atari Computer days…
(hey, I ran with a whole 48k of ram back then)
must have archived alot of their stuff
and an old program utility I submitted
was printed online… with credit given to the author… ME !
and thanks from the editor !

I WAS A ‘PEEKING & POKING’ FOOL !!!

Improved Atari Line Delete

32700 REM BLOCK DELETE ENTER AND GOTO 32700
32701 TRAP 32713:? “START, END”: INPUT START,EN
32702 ? CHR$(125) : X=PEEK(138)+PEEK(139)*256
32703 B=PEEK(136)+PEEK(137)*256 : X=B:QQ=0:POSITION 2,2
32704 LN=PEEK(X)+PEEK(X+1 ) *256
32705 IF LN
32706 IF LN=32700 THEN 32710
32707 ? LN:QQ=QQ+1:IF QQ= 18 THEN 32710
32708 IF LN>=EN THEN 32710
32709 X=X+PEEK(X+2):GOTO 32704
32710 TRAP 32713:? “32700
REM PRESS RETURN TO REMOVE BLOCK DELETERî:? “CONT”
32711 POKE 842,13:POSITION 2,0 :STOP
32712 POKE 842,12:GOTO 32700
32713 ? CHR$ (125):(POSITION 2,2 : FOR SS=32700 TO 32714:?
SS:NEXT SS:?”POKE 842,12″
32714 POKE 842,13:POSITION 2,0:STOP

OF COURSE THIS WAS ONLY IN BASIC…
but it’s a pretty little piece-of-code…
(and,of course, there’s no way I could duplicate writing the program now)

I TOOK IT EASY ON YA WITH THE PROGRAMMING…

I WENT WITH BASIC, I DIDN’T WANT TO DAZZLE YOU
WITH 6502 MACHINE LANGUAGE !!!

HUH?  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ?


HALFWAY SMART ?

THAT LITTLE TRIFLE OF A BASIC PROGRAM
REMINDED ME OF ANOTHER…

I was in a mom-and-pop software store in the mid-80’s,
yeah… they used to have those…
I mentioned to the college aged clerk
that I had tons of pirated stuff to barter with…
He explained (loud enough for his boss to hear)
that they didn’t encourage that kind of ‘crime’
and wasn’t interested… in the meantime…
he slipped me a note before I left saying he had
lots to trade and gave his phone number…

We got together and became ‘computer-buddies’,
joined in the ever increasing band of ‘pirates’…
one day he was at my house ’sampling’ software…
with my step-sons on either side as he loaded games…
THE DISK HE WAS LOADING HAD A FANCY-SCHMANTZY
FLASHING, GLITTERY JOYSTICK DRIVEN MENU
THAT ANNOUNCED…

“GAMES FOR KRIS & SHAUN”

It was a short time later,
I spotted him looking left, and then right,
and then realizing that the kids on either side of him
were named KRIS & SHAUN !
and asked…

” are they THE Kris & Shaun? “

AND, YES THEY WERE !!!

It turned out that the menu had made the rounds
from MY circle of friends to HIS circle of friends
and the MENU I had written was being used
in the store he worked in on DISPLAY computers,
and other stores, to entice a few more sales !!!
(and probably pirated around the world)

YEP.. I HAD MY DAY…

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ME ?

(oh.. I still have Atari Computers up and running to this day)

__________________

MY MINDS SPINS ALL THE TIME…
even while I sleep…
(whether it makes sense or not)

I woke in the middle of the night with this thought…
WHY?  I HAVE NO IDEA !

The origin of the phrase… SCREW UP !

A PHRASE FROM A SHIP…
The water being so rough that the propeller (or screw)
is raised out of the water, and spinning in the air,
doing nothing for controlling, or stabilizing the ship.
And like a riverboat captain calling out.. “mark twain”,
for measurement of the depth of the water,
a crewman might yell… “SCREW UP” to the bridge crew…

OR PERHAPS, AN OUTBOARD-TYPE-MOTOR
that is lifted when the boat goes to sails?
or a ‘command’… “screw up !” to move the keel !
and if it’s not done right ?



and later since SCREW is a slang for FUCK,
WE GET  “ FUCK UP ”


HEY..WHY NOT?

IT KINDA MAKES SENSE !!!
(I’m too lazy to look it up.. even in my sleep)


______________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with the BIG SHOTS!)

________________________

I’D LIKE TO LEAVE YOU

WITH THIS ONE THOUGHT…

THIS ONE TRUE-ISM…

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist & resident genius
TISH (PILLBUG)
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