† RIP Renfield #549 – BUSTIN’ OUT †

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† RIP Renfield  #549 – Bustin’ Out †

April 24, 2010

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EARTH DAY ?

Well, I thought I’d let everyone know my decision.
THINK AGAIN IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS BUSTIN’ OUT !!!
(I’ll leave it to the amply endowed ladies)

I’M STAYING !!!

I’ve decided to re-new my contract
and stay on earth for another ‘tour’…
It would be hard to find someone else
to place on this hell-hole of a planet,
but somebody has to do it,
at least I’m acclimated !!!

BESIDES, IT CAN’T GET ANY WORSE !

____________________

R.I.P

dixie carter

(amply endowed in many ways)

I WAS SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT DIXIE…
I hadn’t thought about her in years…
BUT SHE WAS (is) HOT !!!

She was one of those rare women I’ve come across in my day,
that I’ve always had a tremendous attraction to,
no matter what her age was !!!
(and I never cared for ANY of her shows, just her)

The way she looked, walked, talked, dressed,
everything about her ‘called-to-me’ !

In crude terms…
SHE HAD THE ‘STANK’ ON HER !

now for the more ‘traditional’ bio stuff…

Dixie Carter is best known for her portrayal as the soft spoken
Southerner Julia Sugarbaker in “Designing Women” (1986).
She’s been known for performing in a number of Broadway plays
and with her marriage to actor Hal Holbrook.

___________

POLITICS IS SUCH BULLSHIT,

BOTH PARTIES ARE ONLY OUT FOR THEMSELVES
NOT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE…
(don’t elect me, I’m corrupt-able too)

YOU EVER WONDER WHY ?
(with the same problems & no solutions)

THAT THERE WERE NO ‘TEA PARTY’ PROTESTS
DURING THE BUSH PRESIDENCY ?

and, on the other side of the aisle…

THAT THERE ARE NO ‘ANTI-WAR PROTESTS’
DURING THE OBAMA PRESIDENCY ?

Since neither one deserves a ‘pass’ on either one of those,
you have to wonder the reasons why
people’s passions are so fickle & why they go away !

I THINK I COULD HAVE ALOT MORE RESPECT
FOR PROTESTERS IF THEY CAME ACROSS
AS MORE FOR THE COUNTRY
THAN FOR THEIR PARTY !!!


______________________

a crime ?

I’m surprised France didn’t surrender !!!

the blue, white, red, & brown !

France’s justice minister has called for legal action
to be taken against a man
who was photographed wiping his bottom

with the French flag.

The photograph was displayed in a competition.
The image won a special mention in the
“politically incorrect” category.


I can’t imagine who the ‘wiper’ is…

they actually found someone
that France is not afraid of !!!

Not at all like the USA
where we CAN wipe our asses with the French flag
with NO repercussions !

by the way…
French law holds it is not an offense
to insult the tricolour at a private event.

NOTE TO SELF:

Perhaps another MILLION DOLLAR idea?
Rolls of toilet paper with the imprint of various
countries’ national flags on individual sheets
of ass-wiping tissue paper.
WIPE YOUR ASS WITH THE FLAG
OF THE LATEST COUNTRY YOU DISLIKE !


__________________

review of the new DOCTOR WHO…
(after actually see-ing the premier?)

The introductory set-up was very good.
The introduction to the new companion?
CLEVER & UNIQUE !
The story was fairly simplistic… they usually are…
when introducing a ‘new’ doctor
and looking to expand the audience past the cult following.
Some new ‘looks’, some ‘old’ information to bring you up-to-date…
THE MONEY PUT INTO THE SHOW?
NO CHEAP-NESS…  STATE-OF-THE-ART !

I CAN GET USED TO THIS NEW DOCTOR…
(but don’t think he’ll be a favorite of mine)

MY BIGGEST CRITICISM ?
The ‘weak’ companion.. AMY POND
She’s whisked away to time travel the nite before her wedding,
with promises to bring her back in the morning…
(relatively speaking)
THAT IS HOW ROMANCE IS REMOVED
FROM A SHOW THAT TRADITIONALLY HAD NONE !
(re-setting back to a ’simpler’ time & doctor?)

BUT THEY MAKE TOO CUTE A COUPLE !
(and she lacks a dynamic presence & fades)

PLUS.. IN THE PRE-SHOW STUFF ?
She shows a lack of knowledge of DOCTOR WHO HISTORY !
You’d think that getting involved in a 40+ year old CULT show…
she’d ‘bone-up’ on all things doctor who…
SEEMS SHE WASN’T A FAN WHILE GROWING UP…
Her interview comments are simplistic & obvious…
and the words of someone who thinks the show
is a new concept, not an old ‘war-horse’ !

I NEVER FORGAVE JOHN PERTWEE(doctor #3)

for appearing on american public television,
in the 80’s, when the doctor was never ‘hotter’…
and dismissing his time as DOCTOR WHO,
to explain what a small part it was,
compared to his glorious, illustrious career
as a performer on stage & screen !

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE, SHIT-HEAD !!!

but I DID forgive Katy Manning…



SHE KNOWS HOW TO KEEP FANS HAPPY !!!

and that reminds me of the time I saw
MARINA SIRTIS (Counsellor Troi)
from STAR TREK: NEXT GENERATION,
when asked about the show she was on for years…
HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE SHOW WAS ABOUT
AND COULD ANSWER NO QUESTIONS…
(and not trivia ones, general ones)
SHE JUST GIGGLED & LOOKED DOPEY !
(someone must have had to read her lines to her)

I NEVER ENJOYED HER PERFORMACES AGAIN…
or listened to a word she said…

I JUST LOOKED AT HER TITS !

Sometimes the most attractive feature of a woman
is her silence and looking aloof and mysterious…

Shhhhhhh… MARINA !!!


_______________________

MICHAEL DOUGLAS’ KID(?) !!!

I’m reading about the poor, little, rich boy…
who was arrested and convicted
for his involvement in ‘moving’ a half-pound of ‘meth’…
(a coast-to-coast operation and not for pennies)

AMAZING WHAT A FAMOUS FAMILY
AND ‘CONNECTIONS’ CAN DO FOR A CRIMINAL !!!

The minimum sentence of 10 years
was cut in half for consideration of all the BIG SHOTS
that wrote letters asking for leniency…
PLUS him ‘ratting’ out his co-horts !!!
(sounds like they had trouble shutting him up)
Instead of 10 years… he gets 5 years
with 8 months credit for time served,
and more time off for completing a drug program.
HE’S IN PRISON, WHAT ELSE IS HE DOING ?

BUT REGARDLESS OF THE MACHINATIONS
OF HIS FAMILY & THEIR POWERFUL FRIENDS…

HE’S STILL A RAT !!!

PLUS.. CALLING HIM A MIS-GUIDED KID ?
The jerk is 31 years old !!!
Sounds like people around him considering him a kid
is part of his bigger problem !!!

BY THE WAY… AT 31 YEARS OLD ?
HE’S STILL A RAT !!!   AN ADULT RAT !!!



OF COURSE, HE’S HIS FATHER’S SON…
the resemblance is uncanny…

THE ONLY THING ?
That half-a-gene makes all the difference !
Whereas his father is ruggedly handsome,
the ‘kid’ is a strange-looking freak !!!

(and MORE than a little ‘rat-like’)


_________________________

Mabye I’m supposed to go there?

On a classic movie channel,
there was an odd, short movie(?) about training
civilians to be military tank drivers & operators…
The guy who played Abner Kravitz on Bewitched
talked about driving a cab in NYC…
Said there was this one cop who always bothered him
(he’d like to spit-in-his-eye)

the cop’s beat ?

6th Ave. & 53rd Street

The very next morning, lying in bed, I have the radio on…
and, out-of-the-blue, Opie from Opie & Anthony…
brings up an address…

6th Ave. between

52nd & 54th Streets !!!


EITHER HE SAW THE SAME MOVIE,
OR SOMETHING IS GOING ON AT THAT ADDRESS,
AND MAYBE I SHOULD BE THERE !

Whether he saw the movie or not…
The coincidental part to me is the ’small window’
of each program I tuned in for…
and heard the same obscure address !

NOT TO MENTION MY DREAM THE NITE BEFORE…

(name dropping)
I ran into Gina Gershon on the street,
and later Woody Allen !
I recognized him, complimented him on DANNY ROSE,
and later sat down to a meal with him
to discuss HIS movies & Hitchcock movies !!!
(Soon Yi wasn’t there)

YEP… I SURE GET AROUND IN MY DREAMS !!!


_________________

PONY TAIL CLUB ?
(how lovely to be a woman?)

With the additional hair I now have,
come additional problems…
My little hair ties (elastics) get clogged
with bits of hair when I pull them off.

IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO PULL OUT THE
INDIVIDUAL HAIRS AND KEEP THEM HAIR-LESS !

So I had this ‘brain-storm’ !!!
If I used a flame (match, lighter) and ran it quickly
across the tie, the hair is gone and the tie is fine !
IT ONLY TOOK ME A YEAR OR SO TO FIGURE IT OUT !

I couldn’t wait to tell my wife of MY discovery !
I ran over to her and said…
” You know how to clean the hair from a hair-tie? “
and before I could continue,
she answered…
” FIRE CLEANS THEM RIGHT OFF ! “

MY brilliance turned out to be something
every 6 year old girl must know !!!
(mom probably does it in front of them)

HEY.. GIVE ME A BREAK…

I’M PLAYING CATCH-UP !


______________________

the STEEL PIER in ATLANTIC CITY !!!

Maybe the very warm weather is the catalyst…
but I keep hearing mentions (from media types)
about the famous DIVING HORSE !!!

Funny thing is that as a kid
I went to the STEEL PIER and witnessed it myself !
You really can’t call the horse a willing participant,
but when you ride it up in an elevator,
and pull the platform out from under it…

THE HORSE HAS NO CHOICE

BUT TO DIVE !!!



I CAN REMEMBER A TIMEX WATCH COMMERCIAL
FROM THE STONE AGE WHEN THE HORSE WOULD DIVE
WITH A TIMEX WATCH STRAPPED TO IT’S LEG…

IT TOOK A LICKIN’ BUT KEPT ON TICKIN’ !!!


If PETA would find causes like this to protest,
they might get some credibility,
instead of the tree-hugging joke they are seen as
by most of the human race !


______________________

another dream last night (for me)…

I’m in a seedy, hick kind of bar.. more of a room…
(but comment on the ‘hole’ we were in last time)
I have the end seat (folding chair) at a long, folding table…
It’s the celebrity table of course…
All us young guys.. about 7 of us… just hanging out…
me, Brad (Pitt), Leo (DiCaprio), etc.
(still room at the table)
The duo performing is doing some Springsteen…
(’thunder road’ of course)
I try to join in but my voice doesn’t have
the ‘power’ that theirs have…
so I shut up & sit back down…

Now I’m sitting & talking to a pretty young thing…
just small talk, no ‘funny busines’…
and we’re joined by an attractive, female celeb
(I can see her face still, but can’t identify her).
She tells us she just had a baby, she sits, I congratulate her,
and wonder where she knows me from…
since we seem to be old friends…

Then a friend of mine (from the real world) pops in,
and goes to sit at another table…
I think of asking him to join us, but think better of it…
and the dream ends…

DAMN I’M LIVING THE GOOD LIFE

IN THAT ALTERNATE UNIVERSE !!!

Too bad I didn’t think to give Kellie Martin a call…
how could she refuse me with all the ‘networking’
opportunity she’d have with fellow actors, top tier ones !

Speaking of her…

it was Kellie Martin Day on ABC-FAMILY TV,
or at least it seemed so…
I hung in for FACE ON THE MILK CARTON
& DEATH OF A CHEERLEADER.
(she was an extremely cute kid, er,teen… er, young lady)

OH, ONE MORE THING…

(nothing to do with nothing)

In the recent late nite tv wars…
they say LENO & LETTERMAN have an older audience…
while CONAN O’BRIEN, that young punk,
speaks to the younger, hipper audiences…
HUH ?   I JUST SAW CONAN’S BIRTHDAY ANNOUNCEMENT,
HE JUST TURNED 49 YEARS OLD !!!   OLD !!!

NO REASON TO LOOK FOR THE NEXT HOST…
THE TALK SHOW GENRE IS NEARLY DEAD !
Tons of shows… they all stink… and who really watches them ?
One, big, repeat-able informercial on a latest project…
NO SPONTANEITY, NO HANGING OUT…

BORING !!!


____________________

I found a ‘new’ DOCTOR WHO buddy
in a most unusual place…

the local INTERNAL REVENUE OFFICE !!!

She just discoverd the doctor,
has plenty of questions…
but as simple as the questions seem,
there’s alot of ‘history’ from alot of shows
from alot of years.. that I can recite easily…
BUT MUST MAKE LITTLE SENSE
TO A ‘NEWBIE’ !!!
(oh well, catching up will keep her busy)

but on to other things…

I was in 2 convenience stores within 20 minutes of each other.
IT WAS DAYLIGHT, around 6 PM…
I bought sodas in the first (good price),
and on a whim, stopped at the other for saltines…
(1/4 the price of the first store, HEY.. I SHOP.. it was on the way)

While I was in the first one…
A clean-cut, 25-ish year old bought lottery tickets
and tried to buy ‘rolling papers’
which I think they consider drug paraphenalia
and don’t sell in New Jersey any longer…
(perhaps some places still do, I don’t know)
THEY COULDN’T HELP HIM !!!

NO BIG DEAL…

BUT… 2O MINUTES LATER IN THE OTHER STORE?
A 50-ish year old, working-type man,
is trying to buy a ‘rolling machine’…
“you know, the little thing you roll cigarettes with…”


EITHER EVERYBODY IS GETTIN’ HIGH-IN’,
OR IT WAS A STRANGE COINCIDENCE !
(it’s decades since I’ve heard anyone mention either one)

Except for MY ‘rolling machine’…
the souveneir that hasn’t seen any action
for over 25 years… along with my ‘glass pipe’…
packed away with my little cast iron treasure chest
(might just have my own rolling papers inside still)

that is probably my oldest possession
(my older sister gave it to me as a 2 or 3 year old)
except for my original birth certificate…
(a new fangled one… paper… not animal skin)

________________________

Anybody familiar with the

ENTENMANN’S brand ?



On the way to the Edison, NJ municipal complex
to get a copy of my daughter’s birth certificate…
we noticed an ENTENMANN’S BAKERY OUTLET
just across the street (practically)…
(not that I need cake,  I hadn’t been there in decades)

I’m glad it’s not all that convenient for me to go regularly.
$6 items (not past their freshness dates)… 3 for $6 !!!
I had to limit us to just 3 (and that was too much)…

OUR CHOICES ?
Jumbo Cinnabons, Apple Puffs, & Iced Carrot Cake…
OH… AND THOMAS’ ENGLISH MUFFINS ?
All ‘flavors’  $3 for 3 – 6 packs…
We took… Regular, 21 Grain, & Cinnamon Raisin !!!

BEST $9 I’VE SPENT IN A LONG TIME !!!
(oh.. everything was fresh and tasted great)

______________________

I HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT THIS GUY IN YEARS…

AND THEN ?

Masi Oka



You might recognize this actor from the
cult tv series… HEROES
(it got way too muddled for me after a season or 2)

It may be my ’spring-time’ blast of my ‘powers’…
but due to good timing… I kept running into this guy on tv…
First from HEROES, next he turns up in the GET SMART movie…
and a really obscure one?
On the Gilmore Girls.. Rory visits HARVARD,
sits in on a class in a lecture hall,
and has a minimal contact with this same guy !

Him working is the greatest of coincidence…
but tuning in, and recognizing him,
in a matter of hours might be considered such…


______________________

REMEMBER I MENTIONED THE CUTE,
LITTLE JAPANESE YOUNG LADY I MET…

We talk ‘hair’… since I stopped cutting my hair last year,
my ponytail is finally getting respectable !
(hair was a great opening)

With any luck, and a little more length,
I’m thinking she and I could get together
to braid each other’s hair…



I THINK SHE’D BE A GOOD TEACHER !!!
(and I’m ALWAYS willing to learn)
I hear the trick is to get in close !


____________________

I’ve been a fool !!!

To borrow from Hayley Mills
(the trouble with angels)…

IT’S A SCATHINGLY BRILLIANT IDEA !!!

The DOCTOR WHO companion that I’ve been griping about ?
Of course she’s a ‘light-weight’ !
Of course she’s the weak link on the show…
PURPOSELY !!!

TO KEEP YOUR NEGATIVE ATTENTION
AWAY FROM THE NEW DOCTOR…
A VERY QUESTION-ABLE CHOICE !

With all eyes on AMY POND,
MATT SMITH gets to ‘worm’ his way into the role !
HE EASES INTO IT WITH LESS OF AN EYE ON HIM !!!

BRILLIANT…

SCATHINGLY BRILLIANT !!!

———–

the trouble with angels?

LEAVE IT TO BEAVER AT A CATHOLIC GIRLS ACADEMY
RUN BY NUNS (roz russell – mother superior)


____________________

and as brilliant as I sometimes hope I am…

I’m smart enough to know
that you’ve had enough of me
for this week…

and I should leave you mostly bored,
instead of completely bored !!!


So I’m opting for a quick, unexpected(?) exit
and taking my leave…

TILL NEXT TIME

(bustin’ out the way it SHOULD be)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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