† RIP Renfield#542 – FLAG-NO BLIZZARD ISSUE †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #542 – FLAG-NO BLIZZARD ISSUE †

March 6, 2010

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I really planned last week’s issue on

BASEBALL
(with much snow on the ground)
so that I might force spring-weather to arrive,
and let the world know it was time to warm up
and stop all the g-damn snow !

I was thinking Star Trek:TNG
and doing a Captiain Jean-Luc Picard

and

” MAKE IT SO !!! ”

Still some minor precipitation on the way…
(they still mention snow or flurries),
but it’s tough to keep winter going
when the temps all week have been in the 40’s !

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

” MAKE IT SPRING “

(or winter, or cold, but no more snow)

So far, so good…
It’s supposed to be a weekend in the 50’s !!!

______________________

R.I.P

Robert G. “Bob” Heft
was the designer of the 50-star American flag.

Heft’s legacy lives on,
flown from the ever-distant magnificent desolation of the moon
to U.S. outposts in every corner of the globe,
from ice-encrusted Antarctica to remote tropic Pacific islands,
from the dusty, sandy roads of war
in the Middle East to embassies in Europe.

The sun never sets on the gift Bob Heft gave America.

In case adding 2 stars doesn’t seem like earth-shattering design,
he did it as a 17 year old for a school history project.
Getting a B-minus, the teacher challenged him
to get it accepted in Washington, DC for a better grade…
To make a long story short… HE DID IT !




DID YOU KNOW
THERE WAS NO 49 STAR AMERICAN FLAG ?
Even though months had passed between
Alaska & Hawaii being admitted as states?

The RULE is…
NEW stars are added to the flag
on the 4th of July the year following admittance.
So 2 stars were added at the same time.

___________________

THIS KILLER WHALE SEA WORLD INCIDENT
MAKES YOU WONDER ?

In all the decades of their existence,
it never occurred to ANYONE that a pony-tail
might be a tempting ‘toy’, or meal, for a ‘playful’ animal ?

SEEMS LIKE A SAFETY ISSUE
WAS OVERLOOKED !!!

Bathing caps wouldn’t work…
they’d look like meals-of-seals !

Of course it was an accident
(hmm.. the act of a pissed-off caged animal?)
but with a powerful animal like that,
a trainer or handler just can’t let down their guard
even for a moment !

___________________

THE CHILEAN EARTHQUAKE AFTER-MATH…

I’m hearing news reports and see-ing tv news stories
where you can hear & see the disdain the news-reader
has for the survivors who are looting the stores !

Duh -  In this particular case…

WHY NOT LOOT ?

The alternative is to let the food and goods
degrade & rot in rubble exposed to the weather !

IT KINDA MAKES SENSE
TO CART OFF ANYTHING USE-ABLE, OR EDIBLE…

IT’S NOT LIKE THE STORES ARE OPEN FOR BUSINESS !

THE CHOICES…

..
LOOT ?   or  DISCARD ?

NO BRAINER !!!

If they have the manpower to go after looters,
they should re-assign & use that same manpower
for survivor rescue instead !!!

______________________


One of the few good things

about modern times:

If you die horribly on television,

you will not have died in vain.

You will have entertained us.

- Kurt Vonnegut

___________________

Another movie with a meteor-striking-the-earth theme?

DEEP IMPACT

It had a good laugh in it for me…

Seems to preserve OUR way of life,
an underground bunker deep in caves,
would provide a life-sustaining habitat for up to 2 years.

BUT… only for 1 million people !!!

(other countries had their own plans and caves)

200,000 places were spoken for…
(doctors, scientists, artisans, politicians, bartenders, etc)
but 800,000 would be chosen randomly, by lottery…

YOUR ENTRY TICKET TO THE LOTTERY ?

YOUR

SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER !!!

I could see the ACLU in an uproar for discriminating
against illegal aliens with no ‘papers’ !!!

IT’S NOT FAIR TO THE ILLEGALS !!!


SOLUTION ?

Settle it in court…

just set the trial date
for the day AFTER the meteor strike !!!


_________________

THIS GIRL REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE…
I JUST CAN’T PLACE HER THOUGH…



and I DID look at her face too !!!
Somehow she overcomes my aversion
to a woman smoking cigarettes !!!

(SO… I’M A HYPOCRITE)

__________________

COLLEGE ‘KIDS’ ?

When I went to college
we were only ‘kids’ when the police were involved !
Otherwise… 18 years old = ADULT

I’M SHOCKED TO READ THAT TO CURB
DRINKING ‘PROBLEMS’
many colleges are notifying parents
for both minor (caught with a beer)
and major (falling down pissing drunk)
DRINKING VIOLATIONS !

ABSURD !!!
I had the advantage of 18 being legal drinking age
when it was my turn…
but everything to do with school
(except paying tuition)
was MY private business !
My business to control and manage !
THE RESPONSIBILITY WAS PUT ON ME,
AND RIGHTLY SO !!!

GO AHEAD AND BABY THE STUDENTS,
GO CRY TO MOMMY AND DADDY !!!
IS THAT HOW YOU PREPARE FOR THE WORLD ?

There are some other ‘kids’ your age…
you’ll find them in Iraq & Afghanistan !!!
BEING RESPONSIBLE, NOT BABIES !

‘SQUEALING’ ON ADULT CHILDREN ?

I was out-raged when one idiot, un-named college
(in Montclair, NJ)
‘accidentally’ posted the freshman class’s parent’s
financial information on the internet…
They sent my daughter an email,
THEY DID NOT INFORM US !!!
I HEARD IT ON THE TV NEWS !!!
And these idiots claime to be worried about a beer ?
What OTHER responsibility do they want
to cover their asses (legally) for ?

IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE THEY
ARE ENCOURAGING POT SMOKING !
AS LONG AS YOU HAVE TO BE SECRETIVE,
WITH CONSEQUENCES, YOU MIGHT AS WELL !

And intstead of THEM paying to have OUR credit watched,
they informed US about what WE should do,
and at OUR expense !!!

THE BASTARDS !!!

________________

on the other hand… kids ?

A guy I work with has kids…

the oldest is a boy.. 20-ish, in college…
the boy threw a party for a ’select’ group of friends…

as the guy I work with told me the story,
he said 4 REALLY scary words
concerning him and his wife…
” WHEN WE GOT HOME…”

Jumpin’ Jiminy !!!

They gave the kid the house?
They were out the entire night ?
Parents not even there to call the police
or fire department ?

WELL…
Someone brought along an un-invited as his guest,
someone described as an ‘enemy’…
and afterwards they found…
the dining room table ‘keyed’…
the computer monitor not working…
the juice bottles in the fridge slit…
and the son’s car ‘keyed’…
and someone opened a couch slip-cover
and poured beer inside the protection…
(might be more stuff when they look around)

WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING ?
When I was that age… if there was a party…
everyone in town (and then some)
showed up.. invited or not !
DAMAGE?  LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES…
YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT YOU MIGHT GET !

AND ONLY GIRLS HAD PARTIES…
that way if some a-hole got out of line,
some ‘hero’ would tell them to knock-it-off
or get their asses kicked !

MY PERSONAL REASON FOR NO TEEN PARTIES ?

I was about 19, at some girl’s house for a
New Year’s Eve Party…
(her parents were out)
I embarassed myself in front of ‘my crowd’
by my excessive drinking…
But MY ‘head’ was half-way normal compared
to one of those apple-cheeked, conservative,
non-drinking guys that everyone liked…

This guy went into the bathroom,
sat on the toilet with his pants up
and shit like a circus elephant.
He must have fallen off the bowl after that,
dug the crap out of his pants by hand…
wiped his ass on the bathroom rug,
and got shit all over the door knob !

THE GIRL WHO LIVED THERE
ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK
WHEN SHE SAW WHAT HAPPENED !!!

PARTY WAS OVER,
AND HOLDING BACK THE VOMIT,
A FEW (just a few) VOLUNTEERS
CLEANED UP THE MESS FOR HER !

All the while, with the offending ’shitter’
giggling away until passing out !

The guy needed to be undressed, showered,
and clothes put in the washer…
Did I mention the handful of shit
the guy who de-booted him got ?

WITH THAT SIGHT CHISELED
INTO MY MEMORY…

I NEVER ALLOWED A PARTY
FOR A ‘FEW’ FRIENDS OF MY TEEN KIDS
IN MY HOUSE !!!
(you’re just asking for trouble)

AND THAT DOESN’T EVEN INCLUDE
SOME DRUNKEN KID DRIVING AWAY
INVOLVING YOU IN ANY ACCIDENT,
OR HEALTH PROBLEM
HE MAY GET IN !

_______________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with the BIG SHOTS!)

________________________

WAS  I  ‘VANDALIZED  ?

I had never heard of this before,
so I’m actually not sure if it was malicious…
but I can’t explain it any other way !

I got in my car to go to work on a cloudy morning,
there was a very light rain…
I turn-on my windshield wipers at the longest
interval intermittant ‘wipe’…
I hear a funny noise from the ‘wipe’…
My first thought was that the windshield was too dry…
a few more passes… and I’m thinking maybe ice…
I leave the wipers off only using them when necessary…
when my eye is drawn to the passenger side wiper…

Somehow (someone?) turned the wiper backwards
so that the rubber was facing out,
the metal bracket facing towards the glass !
I drove the rest of the way wiper-less.

Using the windshield washer a day or 2 before
everything was fine, as it had been for
the last 18 years (it’s a 1992) !
I’m not one of those people who ‘lift’ the wipers
worried about an impending snowfall.
I parked next to a snowbank at my house,
so it’s not so easy to get at THAT wiper.
The only place I can see it being reversed
is the lot I park in at work.
(and there’s no way it was NOT done on purpose)

I know I didn’t touch the wipers for years !

IF YOU WANT TO GET AT SOMEONE,
IT’S A PRETTY GOOD WAY…
I NOW HAVE AN ARC SCRATCHED INTO
THE WINDSHIELD GLASS ON THE PASSENGER SIDE !
(Not THAT I could probably compound it out,
but it’s not in MY line-of-sight, so I can live with it.)

BUT IT STILL PISSES ME OFF !!!

THE BASTARDS !!!

(at least I got a RIP item out of it)

_____________________

THE THINGS YOU LEARN ON TV…

CRIME SHOWS…

Note to self:

If ever committing a heinous crime,
dispose of every piece of clothing you wore
(don’t even sit in your car or go in your house),
shoes and socks included…
hose yourself down at a first-time location,
shower and scrub yourself raw…
(nostrils included), and get a haircut !

AT LEAST CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES…
I just saw a piece of glass found in the criminal’s
pants cuff that he’d been wearing for a week !

THE VIDEO OF YOU MIGHT BE A PROBLEM,
AND THE WITNESSES…
BUT YOU GOT PAST THE STUPID MISTAKES !


______________________

WHAT’S EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ?

Personally, I can’t see the forrest for the ‘T’s’…
(the t-back thongs that is)

______________________

MAKES SENSE TO ME,
BUT BOUND TO PISS SOMEONE OFF…

I was just ‘vamping’ with a thought

concerning music and came up with this…

(to save time on MY typing and YOU reading,
I’ll leave out the male-male, female-female aspect)

It’s not 100%, but in many cases
I’ve come to the conclusion that
when looking for a partner,
women are less likely than men
to be ’sold’ by looks !

Women look deeper for more instrinsic qualitiies.
(like a paycheck)
Men can be more easily swayed by a pretty face !
(or a hot body)

But when it comes to music…
(ie, American Idol type shows?)

Except for the obvious limited talents
who sell sex-and-music that can’t stand alone…
(the flavor-of-the-week)

Women can be easily swayed into thinking
a male singer, who is VERY good looking, has more talent
than the average male listener can comprehend  !
(probably more so for the teen and pre-teen girls)

(the anti-proof?  JIM NABORS for example)

Whereas men CAN BE less concerned about looks,
but CAN love a female that can’t belt them out !!!
(ie, Amy Winehouse, Nina Simone)

In other words…  a man will look, perhaps drool,
but at the end of the song,
knows he could have enjoyed a hot female’s performance
just as well with the sound turned down !

AND A WOMAN WILL OFT-TIMES GIVE
A GOOD-LOOKING, ADEQUATE, MALE SINGER,
ELEVATED or GOD-LIKE STATUS,
and follow him, and his life !
(at least the teen girls who vote by phone do)

_________________

IF IT HAPPENS ?

I MAY END UP DISAPPEARING
FOR A WEEK OR 2,
MY LAPTOP IS ACTING UP…
I’M PREPARING FOR TOTAL DIS-ABLE-MENT…
(I backed up my entire laptop on an external hard drive)
But I need to locate the installation disks
for all the ‘little’ programs I use regularly…
IT’S NO SMALL JOB !!!
(the screen-cap of my desktop and start menu should help)

I don’t want to do it till absolutely necessary,
so there won’t be any more warning…
re-creating the machine I’ve lived with
for the last 5 years might take some time…
(and I haven’t had any to spare lately)

_____________________

formerly of MysteryLyrics.info,
Dave’s gone off in another direction,
that is a daily stop for me…

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

———

and DAVE still has time

for the social networking site

with an obvious theme…



http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

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HERE’S HOW I ROLL !!!

The COUPON STORY

The CVS Drug Store does our 90 day prescriptions
on premises…  very convenient…
They have those ‘taggy’ things for credit when you shop.
So whenever you go there,
the next day there is a few dollar off coupon,
good for only 3 or 4 days if you spend $20.

I had one in my e-mailbox but ignored it…
(you have to buy THEIR brand products)
I went there for some ‘goodies’ on a whim…
I was under the $20’s necessary,
but asked if I needed to produce the coupon
or would it just be automatic…
(you need to bring it)
I must have distracted the girl,
she forgot to charge me for a $3.99 item.
Me and my big mouth (i’m honest too),
told her, she thanked me, and I paid for it.

I get home and later find that, for the first time,
the emailed coupon would have been good
on ANY purchase… and I would have saved $4 !

THE CHECK-OUT GIRL TRIED TO SAVE ME $4,
(DID GOD TRIED TO SAVE ME $4 ?)
THE IGNORED COUPON WOULD HAVE SAVED ME $4,

AND NOW I’M ANNOYED OVER A LOUSY $4 !!!

WELCOME TO MY LIFE…
It’s not enough for me to miss out on a savings,
I have to have my face rubbed in it !

(also being poor enough that $4 pisses me off)

______________________

WELL…

ANOTHER WEEK… ANOTHER ISSUE

I’m hoping for a big spring-time renewal of my lost energies…
The real trick is to not re-discover that
there’s a world out there
with OTHER things to do…

Sometimes with nicer weather…
you actually WANT to leave the house !!!

But then you get a fan letter from someone
who just found your Northern Exposure story-script
for an alternate, REAL, final episode of the classic show,
and you bask in the praise for a job well done…
and hunker down to the laptop again !!!

HEY.. I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED…
(er, heterosexually, or for my work)

GOTTA GO.. TIME TO STORE THE SNOW SHOVELS !!!

(and find some cooperative Irish girls for St. Pat’s Day)

_________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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