† RIP Renfield #543 – St. Pat’s Day Issue †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #542 – St. Pat’s Day Issue †

March 13, 2010

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day to ye…

and if you started celebrating early…
CHANGE YOU CLOCKS TO DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME !

Not being Irish, I was never one to celebrate this one,
but with an english wife I learned how…
my english wife ALWAYS does a nice corned beef
for the ‘holiday’ and we have the family over…

(the corned-beef-hash (or ‘ash) the next day is the best part)

The better weather?
NO MATTER WHAT THE CALENDAR SAYS…
for all intents and purposes…

SPRING HAS SPRUNG !!!

and not a moment too soon…
I even got the gas grill out of the shed
and am ready to grill at a moment’s notice…
of course the 2-4 inches of rain expected this weekend
might slow me down… but there’s always the corned beef !

Gonna get started now…

I have a ‘few’ provocative pics I’m raring to get to…

_____________________

HEY…
SHE COULDA HAD A
LEPRECHAUN IN HER ANCESTRY…

R.I.P

‘Poltergeist’ actress

Zelda Rubinstein



Zelda Rubinstein was the 4-foot-3-inch actor best known asTangina,
the psychic who tries to calm a family in thef horror film “Poltergeist.”
Rubinstein made her film debut in the 1981comedy “Under the Rainbow”
and went on to roles in “Sixteen Candles,”"Southland Tales”
and the TV show “Picket Fences.”
She returned forboth “Poltergeist” sequels.

She was also the mother figure in a AIDS awareness campaign
and was an outspoken activist for the rights of little people.

REST-in- PEACE
(it’s okay to go to the light)

____________________

BACK TO MY LIFE …

I happened to meet someone I knew casually
who couldn’t wait to tell me that someone else
that I knew casually said some very complimentary
things about me the day before (un-solicited) !!!

My reaction was to say…

” WHO, ME ? ”

(me not being used to kind words)

and I guess other people notice
the lack of kind words coming my way…

WHEN I TOLD MY DAUGHTER THE STORY…
She said…

” WHO, YOU ? “

(maybe I’ve used that expression once or twice before)


_________________

it might be alot of alot of money…

but so was the bailout…


(from Mikey in Tenn)

HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million apiece with the following stipulations…


THEY MUST RETIRE
40 million job openings – unemployment fixed !

THEY MUST BUY A NEW AMERICAN CAR.
40 million cars sold? – auto industry fixed !

THEY MUST BUY A HOUSE OR PAY OFF A MORTGAGE.
Housing crisis fixed !

IF THE GOV’T NEED MORE MONEY ?
Have congress pay their taxes at non-politician rate.
Plus make Congress retire on Social Security & Medicare…
WATCH HOW FAST THEY FIX THEM !!!

PS…
make it mandatory they all use the ‘new’ heathcare program
as their primary insurance carrier !


_____________________

A STUDY OF Irish Females…

in their natural habitat…

youth groups available

________________________

NEW revenue source idea….

to save the US post office…

I  was in an  IRS OFFICE (large office, paperwork type of place)
and noticed a large pile of boxes and soft-packages being mailed out.
IT WAS BEING SENT THRU UPS (united parcel service) !!!

I was told of 2 reasons why UPS was being used…
1 -  they have tracking
2 – they pick up twice a day

I knew the post office offers both those services.

WOULDN’T IT MAKE SENSE FOR ALL GOV’T AGENCIES
TO SUPPORT THE USPS INSTEAD OF THE COMPETITION ?
(the post office doesn’t import their vehicles, they buy american)

SHOULDN’T IT BE DONE ON THE NATIONAL LEVEL ?
MAKE IT MANDATORY FOR GOV’T AGENCIES TO USE
THE US POST OFFICE FOR MOST PURPOSES ?

THERE ARE TONS OF AGENCIES BESIDES THE IRS
THAT SHOULD BE USING THE USPS,
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE A $3.8 BILLION DEFICIT…

It really makes sense, doesn’t it ?

Perhaps this suggestion could be passed up-the-line
if anyone reading this has any connections !

There is no reason the $4 billion deficit can’t be recouped
from money already being spent for deliveries by others…

I only want 10% for the solution !

(I emailed & snail-mailed this to the postmaster general)

______________________

the OSCARS

East Side Dave of the RON & FEZ SATELLITE RADIO SHOW
had an interesting perspective that I hadn’t considered before…

On the subject of why MERRYL STREEP is such a loser !
(16 nominations, 1 win)

Dave’s opinion?

STREEP is a very well respected actress
who never disappoints !
By the simple act of nominating her,
the ACADEMY adds some class & respectability
to the category of BEST ACTRESS !

If you think about it… 10 nominations ?
How many were recognize-able as household names?
or as cream-of-the-crop actresses?
And if it were a field of 9 dis-including STREEP ?

THE AWARD WOULD LOSE ALOT OF PRESTIGE !
(BUT… who did you beat?  MERRYL STREEP.. WOW !)

I’d rather STREEP just win every year !

___________________

SANDRA  BULLOCK

In the past, I’ve really enjoyed some of her ‘cute’ movies.
But am dismayed at her need to be way-too-thin !
She needs another 5 or 8 pounds on her to look really good,
but she’s not accepting of her maximum-cute-ness-body-type…

IN HER HEAD, SHE HAS TO BE EXTRA THIN !

AND THE RESULT ?

SHE LOOKS A LITTLE OLD, A LITTLE HAGGARD,
LIKE SHE’S FIGHTING TO HANG ON TO YOUTH,



HIDING (un-successfully) BEHIND
MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MAKE-UP !

c’mon sandra… put on a few pounds,
you’ll ‘plump’ a tiny bit and your skin will revive,
and you’ll look 10 years younger !

___________________

at least this guy has an excuse…

NO WONDER CHUCK NORRIS

LOOKS LIKE HELL !!!

(bad skin, really bad toupee, this is a glam shot
in comparison to how he looks un-posed)

HE JUST TURNED 70 YEARS OLD !!!
(for 70, he don’t look so bad)

But compared to his movie-and-tv days ?

He DOES look like hell !


__________________

CABLEVISION CUSTOMERS
DIDN’T GET TO SEE THE FIRST 40 MINUTES OF THE OSCARS…
THE CHANNEL WAS THE BARGAINING CHIP !

cable companies versus networks…

First it was the FOOD NETWORK,
demanding a huge increase in payment
for their programming to appear on NY’s Cablevision…
(that I can understand)

But ABC-TV demanding a ‘big bump’ ?
I remember back when INCLUDING local channels
was a demand by the networks
so they wouldn’t be left out !

BUT DOES IT WORK NOW ?
ABC-TV is available FREE as over-the-air broadcasting !
A digital tv (or one with converter box) and an antenna
and you get the channel, like I said… for FREE !

It seems like the cable company,
and the customers, have nothing to lose…
BUT ABC-TV COULD LOSE ALOT OF VIEWERSHIP
BY MAKING IT MORE COMPLICATED TO SEE THEM !
Me? I wouldn’t miss them at all,
when they ’scrambled’ AMC, except for cable boxes,
I just stopped watching the channel
(from non-cable box tv’s in my house).

PLUS IT OPENS THE DOOR FOR OTHER
OVER-THE-AIR NETWORKS
TO DEMAND EXHORBITANT PAYMENT !

AND WHO PAYS IN THE END ?
WE DO !!!

GET AN ANTENNA AND FUCK ‘EM ALL !!!
PEOPLE GOING TO ALTERNATIVES
WILL SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ALL OF THEM !!!

__________________


KISS THE COLLEENS ALL…
(over?)

NOW TO A PLACE WHERE
THE COLLEEN’S ARE SAFE…

I hear the POPE’s brother (another priest bigshot)
is up for the role of SGT. SHULTZ
in the court-room re-make of HOGAN’S HEROES !
He’s been practicing his big line…

” I  KNOW  NOTHING !!! “

Seems he was in charge of a choir group,
one like a boarding school,
where young men were ‘abused’…
(at least that’s what local courts & counsellors are claiming)
There are lawsuits & people in therapy
due to the treatment of the young men…

EVEN THOUGH ‘POPE BROTHER’
WAS IN CHARGE FOR OVER 30  YEARS
(starting in 1964)
HE CLAIMS TOTAL IGNORANCE
(plausible deniability?)
OF ANY GOINGS-ON
AND DENIES A COVER-UP !!!

I’ve always thought that the reason the CHURCH
never really took a hard-line on predatory clergymen
(until forced to do SOMETHING),
was because they were ‘dirty’ to the top !!!
Not 100% necessarilly, but high enough in the
organization to be very embarassing, and costly !!!

KIDDING THEMSELVES INTO THINKING
THEY WERE ‘SILENT’ FOR THE GREATER GOOD !

(good?  that’s a laugh)

___________________

DELL  DEALS

I’m sorry I couldn’t get this item to you when it mattered.
But I called Dell (I was very distrustful of final price)
about the $399 laptop they were advertising on tv
figuring they’d nickel & dime me up another $200 !!!

Turned out to be a very decent machine… and for $399 !

BUT… big BUT…

During the 10 days of Dell Deals for the same price
you could get…

windows 7 premium
a 2.2 dual core processor
3 gigs ram instead of 2
250 gig hard drive instead of 160
6 cell battery instead of a 4 cell
wireless, no phone modem
cd & dvd BURNER
15 months of free McAfee Security
a 15 month warranty
free shipping
(no web cam built into lid and only in black)

SO
With a presence in ALL states,
you get stuck for the sales tax,
but with free shipping?  $427 TOTAL !!!
NOT BAD AT ALL !!!

Oh… with any purchase, you had the option
of buying a 160 gig netbook with windows xp for $149 !!!

IT’S LIKE CRAZY EDDIE
TOOK OVER DELL…

THE PRICES ARE INSANE !!!

If you are in need,
keep an eye out for more Dell Deals,
they may have even better ones later…

__________________

formerly of MysteryLyrics.info,
Dave’s gone off in another direction,
that is a daily stop for me…

http://en.davidscott.de/

GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

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and DAVE still has time

for the social networking site

with an obvious theme…



http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

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I have something to say to New Yorkers
who think taxing surgary drinks.. ala sodas
is anything more than a ‘ fools tax’ !!!

Health concerns?  Obesity in kids?
Like smoking, if you stopped the ‘drinking’,
the state would be crying for lost tax money !
(and later lost jobs as factories close)

Uh… for me personally, I haven’t had a ‘real’ soda
since the mid-1970’s… my drinks are water & diet pepsi,
and a cup of half-decaf on a sunday morning…
(oh yeah, recently I started watering down diet cranberry juice)

AND THE RESULT ?

I’VE BEEN MUCH THINNER IN MY DAY
(MUCH THINNER),
BUT IT HAD MORE TO DO WITH STARVING & EXERCISE !

Are they planning on making ‘real’ soda illegal one day ?
or for ONLY over-21 years old ?
Isn’t it funny how cigarettes, alccohol, & soda
aren’t banned, merely taxed exhorbitantly…
WHILE MARIJUANA IS BEING MADE
MORE AND MORE AVAILABLE
FOR THE SLIGHTEST REASON WITH A PRESCRIPTION !

On the way to work I heard this on the radio news…
NYC is considering a BAN on SALT
in ALL NYC RESTAURANTS !!!
(but you can still get a beer & smoke outside)

SALT ?  ARE THEY INSANE ?
But they are working on a compromise…
they just haven’t decided how much the tax will be !

(psst… you’ll have to carry your own salt
and look out for the salt-police)

_____________

AS WE BID ADIEU

TO ANOTHER ST. PAT’S DAY…

COULD SOMEONE GIVE AUNTIE MOLLY A RIDE HOME,
OR, AT LEAST, A SHOVE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ?

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tura-lura-renfield

TIME TO ‘RIVER-DANCE’

tura-lura-good-bye…

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist

TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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