† RIP Renfield #540 – ANOTHER SNOWSTORM? †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #540 – ANOTHER SNOWSTORM? †

February 20, 2010

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MOTHERFUCKER !!!
(oops.. was that out loud?)

Plenty of snow still on the ground…
(less if you moved some before it turned to ice)
and the word it that (here) we can expect
another snow storm that could match
totals from our last blizzards (both of them)…
and both of them in the last 2 weeks !!!

I CAN’T TAKE TOO MUCH MORE OF THIS !!!
(I predict a water shortage this summer)

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME only a few weeks away
and we’re seeing no signs of spring…
au contraire… winter is getting it’s 2nd wind !!!

I was just starting to feel a little normal…
(a little is all I usually get)
had time to do some things…
(besides shovel snow)
AND NOW I HAVE TO PRAY
THE STORM GOES AROUND US !

(bless me father…)


______________________



I want to say something,

but without the details…

the news story made me cry for the woman,
and angry that we live among such animals !

A person steals… I UNDERSTAND (the motivation)
A person likes to get ‘high’ … I UNDERSTAND
A person kills?
I’M NOT SO UNDERSTANDING,
except perhaps, by them being pushed to the limit ?

TO TORTURE & KILL A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
30 YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH THE
MENTAL CAPACITY OF A 12-14 YEAR OLD ?
(torture her to the max for ‘fun’?)


You are FILTH, not worthy of LIFE for yourself,
YOU are the reason people hope there is a HELL !!!
EXECUTION IS MUCH TOO GOOD FOR YOU,
AND YOU ARE THE POSTER PEOPLE
FOR THE DEATH PENALTY !!!
There is no redemption, there is no forgiveness,
there is NO reformation for ANIMALS !

R.I.P

Jennifer Daugherty



NO PIC, NO STORY…

If you do google the story…
(pennsylvania disabled woman tortured)
I warn you that it’s extremely revolting & disturbing !


MAKE ROOM IN HELL FOR 6 MORE !!!


_______________________

I don’t blame Obama for this comment…
but his ‘helpers’ aren’t helping…


Re: Obama’s 2nd Vegas Insult…

“Sometimes when he’s not using his
monitors, and reading what he says,
he doesn’t think.



Hmmm… So Obama isn’t always capable
of speaking off-the-cuff !
The defense seems to imply that he DOESN’T think !
Whoever is responsible for putting the words
in the machine also does his thinking for him ?

WHO NEEDS HELP LIKE THAT ?

Send ME one of those ‘thinking’ machines !!!

Could you imagine what would happen
if a Republican or a Rush Limbaugh-type
made the exact comment ?


_________________

Hopefully I’m known as an equal-opportunity offender…
(if you can EVEN take offense at all at my mindless-ness)
(I don’t believe in racism… an a-hole is an a-hole for other reasons)

Continue-ing on that theme…

Two of my step-kids are half-jewish,
my college room-mate was jewish…
(AND I’VE BEEN INTIMATE WITH A PRINCESS OR 2)

NOW THE STORY…

We were babysitting my nephew’s 3 year old daughter.
Dora the Explorer was on the DVD player…
MY daughter ( 23years old) was playing with the tot…
(jumping on the couch and such)
My daughter goes and fills the kid’s ’sippy-cup’
with some orange-tangerine stuff we have in the fridge…
while watching the show, the kid takes a few sips…

MY DAUGHTER THAN SAYS TO HER…
(very innocently)

” So Carly… What do you think of the ‘juice’? “
(only ‘juice’ comes out sounding like ‘jews’)

I YELL OUT…

” SUSAN !!! “

(she goes blank for a second or 2,
realizes what it sounded like,
and we laughed-our-heads-off like idiots)

” DON’T TALK TO THE BABY LIKE THAT !!! ”

(great set-up, great timing by me, & good catch by Susan)
((ya gotta be quick in MY house))

FOR THE RECORD…

WE DON’T SPEAK THAT WAY IN MY HOUSE,

BUT WE KNOW FUNNY WHEN WE HEAR IT !

____________________

Man is equally incapable of seeing

the nothingness from which he emerges

and the infinity in which he is engulfed.

- Blaise Pascal

______________________



from MIKEY in Tenn…



I just heard on the radio that more than 70 billion dollars
have been lost in NJ in the last 4 years,
due to economic flight, leaving the state due to higher taxes !
You guys are heading for bankrupcy !!!

DON’T WORRY.. WE HAVE A PLAN…
We’re planning to let organized crime take over
the state completely, the way they operated VEGAS !
(’organized’ would be a good change for us)

Even if they steal 24-7,
it’s still cheaper than what we elect !!!
(plus we’ll get ‘comped’ occasionally)

__________________

WHEN THE MATERIAL DOESN’T HOLD UP

COUNT ON ME TO RANT !!!

Let me get this off my chest !!!

Someone told me about a survey
that took a turn (political, he missed it),
and had him agree-ing whole-heartedly,
after being steered there…
(why can’t people see as clearly as I do?)

Before they (a school teacher’s union rep?)
got thru with him, he was not only a believer,
but ready to preach to the world…

SHORT VERSION…
Do you think workers who work harder
should make more money than those that don’t ?
(on the same job)
DON’T YOU AGREE THAT MORE MOTIVATED TEACHERS
SHOULD BE REWARDED WITH EXTRA CASH ?


Well.. on the first question…
I think they should fire the guy’s father…
He must be an old man by now
and some young guy can produce much more
for a much lower salary !
WHY CONSIDER DECADES OF LOYALTY ?
FIRE (your dad or uncle) THE BUMS !!!

ALL IS FINE AND DANDY (ala Mike Stivic)
UNTIL IT AFFECTS YOU OR YOUR POCKETBOOK !!!


In my place, if you have seniority (nee.. you’re old)
you should have ‘bid’ yourself into an easier job,
fit for an older person, to make it to retirement !
You SHOULDN’T be working as hard as a 20 year old !
Perhaps a 20 year old isn’t ’see-ing’ the ‘other end’…
but that’ll be him one day being thrown out, or working for less !

ON THE 2nd ONE ?
I think ALL teachers begin their careers
ready to set the world on fire !!!
Until they face the realities of the classroom
and it burns them out…
or they settle into a routine they can
keep up until retirement !!!
Perhaps teaching (and very well) to students
that want to learn…
and not being a SIDESHOW, MR. KOTTER,
to entertain the ‘dead wood’ into learning !

PLUS… there’s a little thing called CORRUPTION !
I’m sure many (or all?) of the over-achieving teachers
will be the friends of the ones judging their performance !

I was told… NO NO NO…
They’d do it by measuring you thru your students…
IF you change a ‘C’ student into a ‘B’ student,
that would count to your rating for extra pay !

I told him ‘C’ to ‘B’ ?  ARE YOU KIDDING ?
EVERY KID IN MY CLASSES WILL BE AN ‘A-plus’ STUDENT !
And I’ll have the coloring books I graded them on,
to show the paper-trail of their progress !!!

and I could see all the low-achievers being grouped
so as not to effect a other teachers’ paychecks !

The survey people really worked that joker over !
EVERY ARGUMENT HE ABSORBED FROM THE CALL,
I SHOT DOWN IN SECONDS AS SILLY PROPAGANDA !
(from them? he had a moment of ‘clarity’, duh)


(I WONDER WHY I NEVER GET ASKED TO TAKE SURVEYS?)

Perhaps a better inducement
would be to REMOVE the ineffective,
or just plain BAD teachers,
that picked the wrong career early on !!!
AS A NON-MOTIVATED TEACHER GETS CLOSE
R TO THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST,
IT’LL LIGHT A FIRE UNDER THEIR ASS !


OR BETTER YET…

IF MONEY MAKES THE DIFFERENCE…
Keep the pay the same,
and if you don’t meet certain goals with your students,
they CUT your already generous pay by 10 or 20 %  !!!
(as a motivator, it works the same way, and saves tax money)

I don’t know about YOUR area…
but around here.. teacher compensation is decent…
THEY may consider themselves underpaid…
BUT I’M UNDERPAID TOO .. AND SO IS EVERYONE ELSE !
and I see teacher raises (and tenure) coming along
alot faster, and alot higher than those coming my way !

IF YOU CAN’T LIVE ON THE MONEY,
YOU MAY NEED A CAREER CHANGE !


I REALLY CAN’T SEE HOW PAYING THE SAME TEACHER
MORE MONEY, WILL MAKE THEM BETTER TEACHERS ?
(are they holding back?  punishing the kids?)
IT OPENS THE DOOR TO OVER-PAY SOMEONE
WHO JUST ISN’T INTO IT ANYMORE !!!

THEY MUST BE TALKING ABOUT REPLACING,

AND HIRING OTHER, BETTER TEACHERS !!!

_____________________

formerly of MysteryLyrics.info,
Dave’s gone off in another direction,
that is a daily stop for me…

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

———

and DAVE still has time

for the social networking site

with an obvious theme…



http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

————

NOW FOR SOME ‘INTERESTING’

TEACHER INFORMATION…

I had on some tv movie on some lesser channel…
(only because the teacher was super-hot)
and only lasted a few minutes…


IT WAS A SCENE IN A CAR, AT THE SCHOOL LOT,
WITH A MALE STUDENT IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT,
AND THE YOUNG, HOT FEMALE TEACHER
IN THE PASSENGER SEAT…



There was great tension between them…
her explaining it was wrong and they couldn’t go on…
him just wanting her…
(he had to cover his pelvic area with a book to walk away later)

SHE FOUGHT IT… BUT THEY EMBRACED…
She was shaking with lust… fighting it off…
and as she left the car, maybe seen by some suit & tie guy,
and the boy skulking away, bent over…

OH MISS CRABTREE…

CAN YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SWELLING ?

A GOOD SCENARIO FOR A PORNO MOVIE CLIP…
BUT A STUPID TALE FOR REAL LIFE…
(I know it must happen alot)
The ‘kid’ was of driving age…. not 10 or 11…
in another year or so, he’s out of school, 18 years old…
and they can fuck their brains out with impunity !!!

In the meantime, they can see each other, talk to each other,
be super-flirty with each other…
perhaps cop-a-feel on occasion…
(a deniable ‘feel’… having scolded him about it)


DOESN’T IT MAKE MORE SENSE
TO WAIT THE YEAR IN ANTICIPATION,
THEN TO JEOPARDIZE YOUR CAREER,
FREEDOM, AND FAMILY EMBARASSMENT ?
(and probably get sued to pay for HIS counsel-ing)

(you really think it won’t be all around school VERY quickly?)


My wife is 7 years older than me,
less than the spread in the movie…
if I was 15 when I got together with her…
IT’S A CRIME !

Three years older ?
I’M A LUCKY YOUNG MAN !!!

When I was a junior in high school,
one of the male gym teachers was obviously
attracted to this particular senior red-head…
I can’t swear there was no hanky-panky before…
but there was absolutely no problem them hooking-up
once she graduated from high school !
He was still employed and a pillar of the community…
SHE was an adult woman dating an adult man !

THE LUST TAKES YOU OVER ?
GET A TOY… OR A FUCK BUDDY… CLOSE YOUR EYES…
AND MAKE BELIEVE IT’S YOUR STUDENT !!!

YOU HUCKLEBERRY !

(no harm, no foul)
A HOT, FEMALE TEACHER’S MALE STUDENTS
ARE ALSO DOING SOMETHING TO TAKE-THE-EDGE OFF !!!
WHETHER THE TEACHER IS INVOLVED WITH HIM OR NOT !!!
(and probably several times a day)

_____________________

the PHARMACIST

I can’t figure out why the pharmacist I spoke to
thought my comment laugh-able…

Picking up an anti-biotic prescription,
I told him how I developed a ‘rash’ on my leg
during the time of my MSG poisoning…
(above my ankle, banded around the lower calf)
It can be uncomfortable (like a burn occasionally)…
but I have no problem walking or moving it.
The doctor said if it didn’t go away,
he’d prescribe something… and he did…

The pharmacist couldn’t believe I was happy
that I had a rash on my leg !

I told the pharmacist that a few days after the rash, I noticed
that the arthritis in my 2 middle fingers disappeared !
(the knuckles didn’t open smoothly, they snapped)

THE DOCTOR SAID IT WASN’T TREAT-ABLE !

I pointed out to the pharmacist that arthritis wasn’t treat-able,
but the rash was…
and if I was lucky… the rash & arthritis would travel
(with all MY ills) to someone else’s leg next !

IT REMINDED ME OF A SCI-FI STORY

I READ ONCE (the title escapes me)…

There was the threat of a plague wiping out the human race.
There was NO cure !
Long story short… some old scientist with alzheimers
was prodded into giving them an out !
In an old discarded experiment, one treatment
turned the deadly plague into another serious,
but treat-able disease, thereby coming as close to a cure
as they were likely to in the little amount of time they had !

I think of my ‘treat-able’ rash, the same way !!!
(I’m hoping it ALL goes away)

and with ANIT-BIOTICS ?

REMEMBER RULE #3 FROM ‘BUCKET LIST’

“NEVER TRUST A FART”
(especially at night, while sleeping)

I learned the hard way !!!


_____________________


a tv drug commercial…

WHAT ARE THEY THINKING ?

CLARITIN
(to control your allergies)

The commercial concerns a young female
veterinarian, who works with farm animals…
SHE JUST LOVES ANIMALS !!!

AND TAKING CLARITIN ‘RELIEVES’
HER ALLERGIC REACTIONS TO THE ANIMALS !!!

So, she can look forward to a lifetime of that drug
in her system, so she can be around animals !
(which can’t be good for you)

YA THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE CONSIDERED
ANOTHER LINE OF WORK SOMEWHERE
ALONG THE WAY ?

I understand that… if it takes care of horses…
you and your cat MIGHT be fine…
BUT THE PREMISE IS JUST PLAIN STUPID
AND MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS OF THE PRODUCT !!!

I’m afraid of heights, so I’ll be an airline pilot.
I’m afraid of large bodies of water, so I’ll join the navy.
etc.

___________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with the BIG SHOTS!)

________________________

the SIMPLE LIFE…

We hadn’t had hamburger in the house for a month
and the fast food stuff just wasn’t cutting it…
So I went to a butcher and got some really good
beef hamburgers… with fried onions, cheddar cheese,
french fries.. and my special baked beans…
the only thing missing ?

I WANTED REGULAR, CHEAP, SOFT HAMBURGER ROLLS…

I stopped at the local convenience store
(where they know me well)…
Mabye because of all the snow lately…
they didn’t have any… just hot dog buns…
I asked the clerk if some were due soon
or should i make my hamburgers to fit the hot dog rolls ?

She gave me the hard sell for KAISER ROLLS,
which they had… and the tried to convince me again…
I did an over-the-top.. “I WANT HAMBURGER ROLLS !”
and made a joke of it…

SO WHEN THE MANAGER CAME BY…
I (jokingly) MADE A COMPLAINT !

HER RESONSE ?
” TRY OUR KAISER ROLLS !!! “
(what’s with their kaiser (hard) rolls?)

I WANT WHAT I WANT

WHEN I WANT IT !!!


I USED TOASTED ENGLISH MUFFINS INSTEAD !!!

RECIPE

Using a wok type pan with a top,
cook 4 hamburgers on low heat with a cut-up onion,
pour in 1/3 of a packet of GOODMAN’S ONION SOUP MIX,
check it on occasion, flip the burgers to get rid of the red,
and pour off the excess liquid a few times…
towards the end, as the mix gets a bit ‘dryer’,
pour more onion soup mix on the burgers and flip them…
this sears the soup mix into the burger…

Have it on a roll (non-kaiser)… with some of the onions…
cheese unnecessary… and, so as not to waste any,
toss your cooked french fries into the pan
to mop up the rest of the onion-onion soup residue…
put on a plate and serve…

GOOD STUFF !!!


__________________



and now ANOTHER recipe…

A recipe for keeping my sanity…


NICE, RELATIVELY EASY DAYS AT WORK
NICE WEATHER, NO SNOW
LONG, DEEP SLEEP
RIP ITEMS POURING OUT OF ME EFFORTLESSLY
(a big lottery win wouldn’t hurt)
RUNNING INTO PLEASANT PEOPLE
AND THE OCCASIONAL PRAISE
I GET FROM MY READERS…
(that actually hits-the-spot on a bad day)

AND NO FRIGGIN’ SNOW !!!
I’m not having an EASTER EGG hunt
with snow shovels !!!

I’ve mentioned that people might have the wrong fit
and would be better suited to other jobs…
but in my case?

THEY DROPPED ME ON THE WRONG PLANET !!!

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary,
most extraordinary craft…

I’M STARTING TO LOSE IT…
TIME TO GO…
BYE !!!

(or is that… brrrrrrrr…)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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