† RIP Renfield – #538 – SUPERBOWL ISSUE †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield  #538 – SUPERBOWL ISSUE †

February 6, 2010

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I wasn’t able to put much time into RIP this week…
so I’ll give you what I got…
and make up for it next week (I hope)…

Although I was surprised at how well
last week’s issue was received…

The bulb burns brightest

before it burns out !

(or gets poisoned)


______________________

WHEN YOU SEE A GUY
REACH FOR STARS IN THE SKY,
YOU CAN BET THAT
HE’S DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL…

and that ‘doll’ just died…

R.I.P

Jean Simmons



A partial resume is plenty to honor her…

BESIDES.. Guys & Dolls…
She won an Emmy Award for her role in “The Thorn Birds.”
Other notable films included “Elmer Gantry” (with Burt Lancaster),
“Until They Sail” (with Newman), “The Big Country” (Peck),
“Spartacus,”(Douglas), “This Earth Is Mine” (Rock Hudson),
“All the Way Home”(Robt Preston), “Mister Buddwing” (Jim Garner)
and “Rough Night inJericho” (Dean Martin).
(and she even did a Star Trek)

______________________

I still don’t know how I managed to go to work last friday…
but I spent the next 3 days mostly sleeping
(for an hour or so at a time)…
and another couple with a pounding MSG headache,
fuzzyness, and weakness…
I GOT POISONED AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT !!!

The doctor said to stay home till thursday…
to let some of my ‘numbers’ return to normal…
(he was right… I didn’t start feeling myself until mid-wednesday)
and I consider it time stolen out of my life !!!
I have things to do.. and can’t think of the last time
I was this sick and was this incapacitated !
I GOT NOTHING DONE !!!
Just lay there in a fog… too much trouble to get up even to eat !
Getting to my feet to go take a pee was a major undertaking,
if I got up, I REALLY had to go !
Fading in-and-out, I never knew a person could sleep that much !

and now.. not only will I NEVER eat Chinese food again…
I’m now suspicious of ANYTHING I put in my mouth…
I just don’t want to go thru this again !

___________________

I know this is SUPERBOWL WEEK…
but I got nuthin’…

so just me just get to the few items I did do…


_________________

referring to last week’s item…

I’m wondering if AMTRAK
has the spare cash
for a SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL…

It’s ONLY 3 MILLION !!!

after my scathing item last week,
they probably cancelled at the last minute !!!

and wasn’t it clever the way that
gay dating service got tens of millions of dollars
in publicity for having their commercial rejected ?

the commercial is a joke…
looks like it was made on a camcorder…
who knows if they even could have come up
with the $3 MILLION DOLLAR fee ?

WAS IT ON PURPOSE ?

COULD BE.. COULD BE…

___________________

I love this quote…
and really.. are you so smart ?
(YOU DIDN’T INVENT SLICED BREAD, OR THE CELL PHONE)

Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence
as you can find outside an advertising agency.
– Raymond Chandler


OBVIOUSLY,
VIDEO GAMES PRE-DATED CHANDLER
(and me? for wasting time ?
I’d include football and most sports too)

_______________________



BUCKET  LIST



I finally got around to watching the movie.
I totally enjoyed it…  nice, very bittersweet…
tugged at the heart-strings…
(watching it alone, I let a few tears go by)

AND I DIDN’T GO AWAY FROM IT
WITHOUT LEARNING SOMETHING…
(good advice as old age approaches)

OF THE MANY LESSONS TO BE LEARNED…


NEVER PASS-UP USING A BATHROOM

NEVER WASTE A HARD-ON

NEVER TRUST A FART !!!



WORDS TO LIVE BY…
(or bring extra underwear)

_______________________

I’m usually more careful with my RIP dead tributes…
but I received an angry response to something I wrote last easter
from a family member…
(daughter of a playboy bunny)
The ‘tribute’ was a fluff piece… like most…
complimentary, correct as you can be with internet sources,
but I ended it with an unkind, and then an editorial, comment…

and, like the family member said…
you never know who’s going to read this shit,
so there’s no need to get personal or insulting…

and, to be honest, I can’t think of another case
where I crossed THAT line in a RIP tribute !

SHAME ON ME… I APOLOGIZED !!!


_____________________

Inventor unveils

$7,000 talking sex robot !!!

Meet Roxxxy,
who may be the world’s most sophisticated
talking female sex robot.
For $7,000, she’s all yours.

(if you know the actress
the resemblance is amazing)

or you can attmept to date

UK actress CATHERINE TATE



(I couldn’t find a pic of her with ‘pouty mouth’,
seems most of her online pics are ‘glam-pics’,
she looks alot closer to the robot pic !)

The cost of dinner & dancing

will be significantly less !

I was never even a small fan of hers until Doctor Who…

and now, along with the rest of the universe, I sing the praises of the ‘doctor-donna’,

DONNA NOBLE

_____________

CHARLIE DANIELS

has been very visible lately…
Saw him the other day in URBAN COWBOY…
fiddlin’ up a storm in GILLEY’S…
Hard to believe that was 1980 !!!
EVEN HARDER TO BELIEVE THAT
1980 WAS 30 YEARS AGO !!!
(seems alot closer than that)

and the difference in his looks from URBAN COWBOY
to a current GEICO INSURANCE commercial
is a shocking reminder that 30 years HAS passed !!!

and back-in-the-saddle?
Poor CHARLIE had a stroke !
The reports say it wasn’t horrible,
but no one is saying he can still play the fiddle !!!

BEST WISHES, WE’RE ROOTIN’ FOR YA, CHARLIE !


__________________

formerly of MysteryLyrics.info,
Dave’s gone off in another direction,
that is a daily stop for me…

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

———

and DAVE still has time

for the social networking site

with an obvious theme…



http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

————

I got my first lottery thrill in a long time…

maybe the best thrill without winning…

NOTHING AT ALL ON MY FIRST TICKET…
Looking at my 2nd ticket,
I still had the first 2 winning numbers (of 6) still in my mind…

accidentally, I picked up the ticket with my thumb
covering the LAST 4 numbers on the card…
knowing that I had the first 2 correct…
I SLID MY THUMB SLOWLY,
REVEALING 1 NUMBER AT A TIME…

I saw that I correctly had (in order)…
THE FIRST NUMBER
THE SECOND NUMBER
THE THIRD NUMBER
THE FOURTH NUMBER

I JUST SAT THERE…
IS THIS IT ?
IS THIS HOW IT HAPPENS ?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.. FINALLY ?
And feeling a little disappointed that it was JUST $1.7 million !

(but I’d take it)

BUT THAT WAS IT…
FIRST 4, NO MORE…
(the ticket was still good though, for a lousy $41)

BUT I WAS REALLY EXHILARATED FOR A SHORT TIME !!!

__________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with BIG SHOTS!)

________________________

I’m giving it one more try…

for the Gipper…


I’ve only seen ONE Super Bowl in it’s entirety,
and that wasn’t becuase of the teams…
RON & FEZ did a SIMULCAST on XM Satellite Radio,
having a listener party with the game on in the background.

I MAY NOT WATCH THIS ONE EITHER
(just another sunday in my house)
BUT NOW I HAVE A REASON TO CHECK IN…

I MADE A BET !!!

Not really a bet…
I bought a ’square’ in a betting pool
and am hoping for beginner’s luck
to piss off all the degenerate gamblers !!!
(the squares are random, I have as good a chance as anyone)

BUT I HAVE A QUESTION…

DOES THE BOOKIE BREAK YOUR LEGS

IF YOU DON’T TIP HIM AFTER A WIN ?

(I’d better lose, I can’t miss work for quite a while)

______________________

one more sick thing…


DELERIUM can be fun…
I had a good romp thru my memories and imagination…
Not like one of my rare nightmares that I had last week…
There was some kind of TERMINATOR type killer after me…
I ran and ran… building to building, town to town…
with him always a threat coming my way…
(everyone was threatened and had weapons)
it finally woke me up enough (scared me actually)
and I got up, had something to drink, watched a bit of tv…
and shook the thoughts out so I could sleep again.

WHY CAN’T KELLIE MARTIN FIND ME
IN MY DREAMS OR DELIRIUM ?
(I just can’t get a break)

I’m doing my own sleep research on ’string theory’…
if I can find the right ’string’, the right vibration in my dreams…

I’M HOPING TO MAKE CONTACT ONE DAY !!!

__________________

SPEAKING OF SLEEP…

I was on the phone with my nephew…
and probably because of the ‘crazy-Al Gore’ cold…
he mentioned that he wears a hat to bed
to keep his head warm (he shaves his head)…

I laughed and said he should get one of those
old-time night caps you see in very old movies.

and that got me to thinking…

NIGHT CAP ?
I never thought of it before…
but, night cap, also refers to having
a late-nite alcoholic drink… one before bed…

COULD THE DERIVATION OF THE SLANG
HAVE COME FROM THE ACTUAL HAT ?
Something to keep your head ‘warm’
before you go to bed for the night ?

(the things I think of while delerious)

__________________

OKAY…

SO EITHER THIS ISSUE WAS GENIUS
OR A PIECE OF CRAP…
I’m not thinking clearly enough to know…

(I think I could have assembled it better, segue?)

but at least I keep my publishing streak going…
(1-a-week for 11 years)

I ran out of stuff,
so I end the issue..

THE   END

(bottom banner ?   wishful thinking during a blizzard)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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