† RIP Renfield #535 – HERE COMES THE SUN †

† RIP Renfield #535 – HERE COMES THE SUN †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS  IN RIP***


(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive  mis-information about)


+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,   you can contact me  at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield  #535 – HERE COMES THE SUN †

January 16, 2010


———————



We MAY be over-the-hump here in New Jersey…
Oh.. the economy still sucks,
and security against terrorism isn’t all it should be,
unemployment is horrible,
and our politicians?  ’nuff said !!!

But the weather abated this week…

WE’RE IN THE 40′S !!!
No snow in sight, and long term looks mild !
I just might not look the fool for my weather theory…
WINTER ALL AT ONCE FOR 6 WEEKS AND GONE !

HEY.. I’M JUST GOING TO ENJOY IT.. DAY-to-DAY…
(same way I get thru life till the next lottery drawing)

For those with   MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr. DAY
off from work… enjoy the time off
but take a moment to remember
THE MAN !

IN HONOR OF MY GOOD MOOD…

I GIVE YOU A RIP Renfield ISSUE
THAT DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH
AS MOST OF THEM DO !!!



___________________


R.I.P

the definition of…

” DAPPER ”

004 - RIP DEAD - GENE BARRY

Gene Barry played the well-dressed man of action in the TV series
“Bat Masterson,” “Burke’s Law” and “The Name of the Game.”
Gene Barry essentially played the same character in all three series,
which spanned the 1950s to the 1970s. Always fashionably dressed,
the tall, handsome actor with the commanding voice
dominated his scenes as he bested the bad guys in each show.

After two decades as a TV star, Barry found himself typecast
as a television actor and never returned to prominence in films.
Instead, he stayed active with stage appearances & TV.
(honored with a character based on him in the FLINTSTONES)

He was born Eugene Klass in New York City in 1919,
and he met his wife, Betty Claire Kalb,
when both were performing in the city.
They were married 58 years, until her death in 2003.


THAT LAST LINE IS MOST AMAZING TO ME….
MARRIED 58 YEARS TO THE SAME WOMAN !!!
(and neither one smothered with a pillow in their sleep)

As a child of 1960’s re-runs…
Gene was the ‘coolest’ and a favorite of mine !
AMOS BURKE… millionaire, police chief of beverly hills,
AMOS BURKE… secret agent
and then…
The hour-and-a-half, rotating star…
NAME OF THE GAME was a classic…

One of the magazines under the
HOWARD PUBLISHING umbrella
was a fictional rag they called…
PEOPLE (do they get royalties?)

005 - tombstone w hands on white SMALL RIP dead
_________________


If you live long enough,
the venerability factor creeps in;
first, youget accused of things you never did,
and later, credited for virtuesyou never had.

I. F. Stone

____________________



NEWARK AIRPORT SECURITY GUARD


UPDATE…

A correction… he was not immediately RE-ASSIGNED.
He’s been placed on Administrative Leave !
(paid leave ?  get me some of that !)

006 - airport guard sleeping

(DESCRIBED AS A MODEL EMPLOYEE)

IF IT’S NOT HIS FAULT…
FIRE HIS SUPERVISOR
if it’s not the supervisor’s fault,
FIRE HIS BOSS
if it’s not his boss’ fault,

GO RIGHT UP THE CHAIN… CLEAN HOUSE !

If there aren’t firings (and not some dopey ‘fall guy’)
THERE SHOULD BE SOME MAJOR DEMOTIONS !!!
(and very public demotions)

BETTER YET.. RESIGNATIONS !!!
(no room for appointed ‘friends’ needing a paycheck)

Nothing like this ever happened when Jim McGreevey
put his boyfriend-lover in charge of
HOMELAND SECURITY !!!
There should be no place to hide in the bureaucracy
for ineptness or bad leadership when it comes to terror acts !!!

AND I’M CONFUSED BY OBAMA

TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY ?

WHAT DOES THAT EXACTLY MEAN ?
(just words for the history books?)

Is he confessing responsibility for not giving
homeland security as much attention as other things?

Is he confessing to ‘dropping-the-ball’ & inept-ness?

Is he confessing to NOT being up to the job ?



DO THEY REALLY THINK THAT AIRPORTS
ARE THE ONLY TARGETS ?

(plenty of ’soft’ targets if terrorists give up on airports)

THERE’S MORE TO TERRORISM
THAN AIRPORTS !!!



____________________



the AIRPORT ‘ OFFENDER’ ?


At first I heard it reported that the authorities
wanted to SPEAK to the guy who went
in the airport exit to be with his girl a moment longer…

THEN, SCRAMBLING FOR PLAUSIBLE-DENIABILITY,
THEY DEMONIZE THE GUY
AND WANT HIM QUESTIONED & PROSECUTED !!!

NJ Senator Frank Lautenberg
want him to get the maximum punishment, blaming him
for the inconvenience to the many thousands of air travellers !!!

HUH?
The BLAME goes to the security guard who left his post !
And, whereas, the ‘tresspasser’s’ name and face
are out there for all to see…
THE GUARD IS STILL ANONYMOUS,
STILL BEING CALLED A MODEL EMPLOYEE,
AND GETTING PAID WHILE ON ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE !


SHAME ON YOU SENATOR,
THE BLAME LIES ON YOUR END !!!

I’m pretty sure you can’t count on terrorists
to follow the rules and be gentlemanly !!!


IT’S ALL BULLSHIT !!!
I’m told by regular air-travellers that exit-entry
is not a difficult thing to accomplish…
(this one was reported by a passenger, not ‘trained’ security)

007 - airport exit - no guard

(there is NO barrier, you are on YOUR honor if NO guard is present)

IF ANYTHING, THIS GUY SHOULD BE APPLAUDED,
First, for not being a terrorist,
and 2nd, for bringing to world-wide attention
the lackadaisical & broken security of airports !!!
(uh… how about 2 guys on duty so one can go take a piss?)

THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES
and they are attempting to make this guy the scapegoat !
THEY found the guy…  THEY thing they’re doing THEIR job ?

ACT BEFORE THE ATTACK, NOT AFTER !!!
and thank this ‘criminal’ for pointing it out !


There’s alot of loud-mouth posturing,
but in 6 months, it’ll be business-as-usual !!!

I RECOMMEND THAT THE ‘HERO…
NOT say anything without a lawyer,
and take the 5th, unless granted full immunity
to any perceived infraction he might be accused of !!!


AND I SAY THE SAME FOR THE COUPLE
THAT GOT PAST WHITE HOUSE SECURITY
TO ATTEND AN OBAMA PARTY…

008 - obama crasher - red dress

(the woman was hot, she looked great in red)


LET HER IN ?

I’D TAKE HER HOME !!!


_________________



ARTIE LANGE

the still funny, but out-of-control, drug abuser
who was first kicked off MAD TV,
and now suspended from the Howard Stern Radio Show…
has had nothing but best wishes from the radio community.

009 - aritie lange - attm suicide

Artie’s had his problems lately…
DUI’s, car accidents, on-air explosions…
but his latest escapade was being kept quiet
at the request of family members…

The reasons for comedian ARTIE LANGE
to be hospitalized were unknown for days…
but the
PAGE 6 column in the NY Post
claims there was a suicide attempt…
9 stab wounds (6 hesitation wounds)…
and it took surgeons to save him !!!

Of course we all wish him well…
but had he read the 2nd pamphlet paid for by NY taxpayers,
he would have not only known hot to
SHOOT-UP HEROIN safely,
but in the 2nd pamplet…
HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE SUCCESSFULLY !
(NYC likes to educate)


HANG ON ARTIE.. IT’S NOT YOUR TIME !!!


__________________



DISASTERS…

RESPONDING TO THE HAITIAN EARTHQUAKES
WITH HUMANITARIAN AID ?

THAT’S WHAT WE DO HERE IN THE USA !!!
(although we respond quicker OUTSIDE the country)
I recommend we re-name NEW ORLEANS to HAITI…



IN OTHER NEWS…

OBAMA takes FULL responsibility

for the Haitian earthquake !


——

and I over-heard some co-workers
slamming the airport guy who went IN the exit…

TALKING CRIMINAL PENALTIES !!!

I think the guy should be applauded,
or go have a beer with Obama…
(BEER with Obama, Jay, Conan, & airport guy)

The security muckety-mucks thought themselves bullet-proof,
we were lucky that a non-terrorist showed the folly
of their in-adequate preparations !!!


AS INADEQUATE AS SECURITY IS…

DON’T YOU FEEL THE TINY-EST BIT SAFER,
even if it’s an illusion,
AT AIRPORTS, AFTER THE INCIDENT ?

(as opposed to BEFORE the incident)

If they FINE him… I’m willing to throw in my $10 in support !!!

THE HERO IS DOING THE ‘PERP’ WALK FOR THE CAMERAS,
WHILE THE SECURITY GUARD WHO CAUSED THE LAPSE
IS STILL ANONYMOUS AND STILL HAS HIS JOB !!!


________________________



I highly recomment the following 2 sites…


formerly the ‘master’ of MysteryLyrics.info,
Dave’s gone off in another direction,
that is a daily stop for me…


010 - ad     dave the exiled

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

———

and DAVE still has time

for the social networking site

with an obvious theme…

011 - ad     dave-total oldies

http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

————


We recently started a new garbage collection system…
A one-man truck, with ‘arms’ that reach out,
pick up the extra-large can, dump it, and return it…

(monday regular garbage, thursday recycles)

Well… Xmas week they picked up OUR recycles,
skipping the Friday people…

and New Year’s week, picking up the Friday people,
and skipping us…

On Sunday, I had this brainstorm that if I put out BOTH cans…
the guy might take pity on us and empty both…
or lighten his load for Thursday…
It took about 15 minutes for the first call…
but the neighbors started phoning me to ask…

” ARE THEY PICKING UP BOTH CANS TOMORROW? ”
and I explained that I had no ‘inside information’
but was ‘taking-a-shot’ .

Well… I only got 3 calls…
but when I left the house this morning for work…
most of the block had put out BOTH their cans !

(mine was still full, I put it back in the yard)

I KINDA THOUGHT IT FUNNY,
THEM ALL FOLLOWING MY LEAD…
TALK ABOUT BEING INFLUENTIAL !!!

(but they probably screwed it up MY own sweet arrangement)

_______________________



I’ve been reading and looking at the pics
of that ‘new’ tallest building in DUBAI in awe…
right out of a Star Wars movie !!!


012 - dubai tall building sci-fi

800 meters tall !!!
I was wondering about the commute?
Speed of elevators has to be reasonable,
and every floor can’t have an express elevator…

I HOPE THEY PUT THE TIMECLOCK IN THE LOBBY,

It could be a half-hour elevator ride to get to your office !!!
and imagine if some wiseguy hits all the buttons
as he exits the elevator… just as a joke !!!
(Do it to me twice?  I’LL throw you out a top floor window !)

_____________________________

I’m listening to the watermelon-smashing comedian

GALLAGHER

on the Opie & Anthony Satellite Radio Show…

013 - gallagher caricature

and Gallagher is ‘killing’… (who’da thunk it)
HE WON’T LEAVE... (blows off another interview) !

and he mentions that his name is important enough
that if you google ‘Gallagher’…
his is the first thing to come up !!!


ACTUALLY, THAT IS PRETTY COOL !

So I googled  RENFIELD

No quotes, not RIP Renfield, just Renfield…
(he is an icon in literture & film)
AND… I DO SHOW UP…
First mention ?    PAGE 14 of Google !!!
(I’ll take it)

On the other hand…
RIP Renfield (no quotes)?
I GET THE FIRST 3 SLOTS (and the 5th)
(and tons of slots, dozens of pages USING quotes)

SLOW BUT SURE…
in another 200 years… I’ll have the top slot !!!


OH… A GALLAGHER JOKE ?

He went thru the human body,
humorously pointing out the lack of sense
for where some body parts are located…

MY FAVORITE ?

Just imagine how much more guys
would be interested in slow dancing
if a woman’s boobs were
located on her back !!!


_______________________

OLD NEWS BY NOW…
(but just in case you didn’t hear)

Leave it to some ‘byte-brain’
to figure out a ‘one-click’ method
to outwit the privacy mode
on a billion dollar security scanner !!!


TAKE AN AIRPORT SECURITY SCAN,
OPEN IT IN PHOTO-SHOP,
AND INVERT…

You get a recognize-able nude of the ’scannee’…
(this is low resolution, airports have very high resolution)
Blurring ruins the effectiveness of the scan for weapons.

014 - airport scan -invert nude

HOW LONG BEFORE SCANS ARE TRADED,
OR CELEB SCANS SOLD,
BY MINIMUM WAGE GUARDS THAT LEAVE THEIR POSTS
AND LET PEOPLE ENTER SECURE AREAS THRU EXITS ?

At least there’s no such thing as ’sagging’ boobs…
the bra is invisible… the support isn’t !!!


EAT YOUR HEART OUT SUPERMAN,

WE HAVE X-RAY VISION TOO !!!

AND YES, YOU CAN SCAN MINUS THE HEAD…
BUT THEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR TO
‘SCALP BOMBERS’ !!!


_______________________



it’s a cold saturday afternoon…
nuthin’ on tv AGAIN…

so I try the (free) on-demand movie menu…
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS
A good movie to have on as you watch something else
on another tv, as I’m apt to do… and am also online.

Online came in handy since I finally decided to look-up
what exactly a ‘
HUCKLEBERRY FRIEND‘ is…
(from the song MOON RIVER)

015 - audrey hepburn - moon river

HUCKLEBERRY FRIEND
(from the urban dictionary)

A very special, good friend that’s been in your life for years,
typically since youth.
There are your good friends: people who love you.
People who’ve known you for years
and have stuck by you and love you no matter what.

OR…
one ‘junior’ to yourself, or a clown (friendly ballbusting)
ie. – I’ll run the show, you be my huckleberry…
ie. – HEY, GET OFF MY LAWN YOU HUCKLEBERRIES !

OR
HUCKLEBERRY = BLUEBERRY

—-

FINAL  DEFINITION

A fuck buddy.
“We’re not serious…we’re just huckleberry friends.”

(Holly Gollightly was, afterall, a prostitute)


016 - clock - i love fuck buddies


NOW YOU (wink,wink) KNOW TOO !!!


________________



GET READY FOR NEW

AIRLINE REGULATIONS

(my ‘huckleberry friend’)

017 - plane sign - bathroom fucking
__________________________________



SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST…
I’m known as a regular contributor to Forgotten Hits !

(just ask COUSIN’ BRUCIE & MICK JAGGER)

BUT, using that ‘coincidence power’ of mine…
(it kicks in quite a bit)
A comment of mine arrived the same time
as an essay about the
ROCK and ROLL HALL of FAME
by
Y103.9 DeeJay Jim Shea
(we’re on opposite sides, I later added a more pointed response)


but for the time being…
FORGOTTEN HITS leads off with ME !!!

ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME?
More like a HARD ROCK CAFE without hamburgers!!!

(gary) RENFIELD

READ JIM SHEA’S POINT OF VIEW AT…

018 - ad     forgotten hits -kent

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

I’m thinking Kent K of FORGOTTEN HITS
seems to lean MY way via HIS own response !

SO I’M GOING TO TAKE MY BOW
FOR MY CONTRIBUTION
TO NOT ONLY RIP Renfield
BUT THE MUSIC WORLD AT LARGE…

AND LEAVE…

AND AS JIMMY CAGNEY, AS GEORGE M, SAID…

My mother thanks you,

my father thanks you,

my sister thanks you


and I thank you…

019 - bottom banner - 4girl- snow angels____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

Opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS
& ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

+++++++++++++++++++++


About the Author

Me? I'm just your average, opinionated, witty, talented-type person... (someone you'd run away from in person, but makes for entertaining reading)... From my lair in New Jersey, I pass my 'judgement' on the world around me... inserting (original) humor where it's applicable... 10 years of ME every week !!! and still going strong... WHEN WILL THIS GUY SNAP ? Check in weekly so you can witness the 'crash-and-burn'... It HAS to be soon !!!