†RIP Renfield #523 – pre-HALLOWEEN & PLUMBING Issue†

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,  you can contact me at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #523 – pre-HALLOWEEN & PLUMBING Issue †
October 24, 2009

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BOO !!!
Happy Halloween…
I’ll be using a series of 3 Halloween banners…
The artwork by Tish (pilbug) is just TOO good not to use NOW !!!

It got warm again…
(very warm somedays)
and the rain left for the week…
I think I liked it better cool-to-cold…
It was easy to get used to…

and out of the blue…
I have a pain in my side…
bad enough to stay home from work,
interfere with sleep and movement,
and to try a little pain killer !

I’m thinking either kidney stone…
(which should either pass, or shift and stop kicking me)
or like the rotten plumbing problems…
(and there is actually very little plumbing in my house)
maybe I kinked one of the ‘hoses’ in my sleep
and it’ll straighten out by itself…
(as long as it doesn’t get worse)
At least, it’s not constant…
but it’s bothersome because it’s the way I lean when…
TM-TOY
(you’ll catch my meaning from a following item)

_______________

NOT EXACTLY A HALLOWEEN RIP TRIBUTE…
BUT I’VE BEEN A LITTLE LIGHT ON THE LADIES LATELY…
AND SHE IS DESERVING…

R.I.P
mary travers

(I’m going with the ‘real’ news report)

Mary Travers was one part of the folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary,
which used beautiful, tranquil harmonies to convey the
angst and turmoil of the Vietnam anti-war movement,
racial discrimination and more.

Though their music sounded serene, Peter, Paul and Mary
represented the frustration and upheaval of the 1960s,
as a generation of liberal activists used their music
not only to protest political policies, but also to spark social change.
Bandmate Peter Yarrow said that in her final months,
Travers handled her declining health with bravery and generosity,
showing her love to friends and family
” with great dignity and without restraint.”

an aside…
The group disappeared for a time while
(Mary successfully did a syndicated radio show),
Peter Yarrow served 3 months for ‘familiarity’ with a 14 year old girl.
They stayed ‘disappeared’ for awhile after that but re-’formed’…
I guess you don’t go on the sexual offender list
if your crime was before the list’s institution…
Otherwise, all those kids at their concerts to hear
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON
would have had to stay 500 feet away from him…

IT’S AN INDISCRETION PEOPLE CHOOSE
NOT TO REMEMBER OR DWELL ON…

THE MUSIC IS STILL GREAT !!!
(you still watch woody allen movies, don’t you?)

_______________________

obama’s nobel peace prize ?

Congrats… and you can’t give it back…
(you’d be the first)
but can you accept it with a clear conscience ?


MY PROBLEM ?
With it looking more and more like Obama will be ‘forced’
to use more and more military power and have no choice
but to be a ‘war-time-consigliere’…

WAS THE PRIZE GIVEN TO HIM (in advance)
TO TEMPER OR INFLUENCE AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY ?
Might the reason be to get Obama to make him
second guess himself  to ’smooth’ the history book version?

HOPEFULLY THE WORLD SITUATION
AND HIS HANDLING OF IT IN THE FUTURE
WILL PROVE THAT THE PEACE PRIZE
WAS (will be) DESERVED !!!

______________________

ANOTHER  PRIZE  !!!

My daughter received a check in the mail from Canada…
SHE’S THE BIG WINNER !!!
A very real looking check for $2385.60 !!!
(in fact, an actual check)

All she has to do is call a phone number to ‘confirm’,
pay a $1750 ‘handling fee by international money order
to cover some charges & the paperwork…
and she’ll be sent the balance of the $150,00 she won !

FRIGGIN’ SCAM ARTISTS !!!
You can just see some little old lady on a pension falling for this !
You deposit the check, takes weeks to (not) clear in Canada…
paid your ‘fee’ out of THEIR money…
(how can you lose?)

AND THEN GET STUCK WHEN THE CHECK BOUNCES !!!


one give-away ?
the check was made out to her screen name…
but as savvy as she is…
she still had to confirm it as scam with me…

I turned it over to the US Postal Inspectors…
but the Canadian mailing probably prevents
the investigation from going too far !!!

(it is, afterall, a minor near-crime by their standards)

_______________________

I just realized…

One of the big reasons health insurance is so expensive,
is that the ‘costs’ include the ‘bad debt’ incurred by
the poor and indigent…
Once we ALL have a healthcare plan in effect…
there will be no ‘added charge’ to current health plans,
IN FACT… COMMON SENSE WOULD TELL YOU THAT
THE COST OF YOUR CURRENT POLICY & COVERAGES
SHOULD DROP DRAMATICALLY ONCE EVERYONE IS PAYING !!!

(and I have a nice bridge in Brooklyn for sale if you’re interested)

_______________________

okay… you have my attention !!!



(breasts can be such fun things)
((on women))

______________________

Hmm… How can I waste more space ?

I KNOW… MY NEW SHOWER-HEAD !!!
(and un-intended commercial ad ?)

I’ve been in my current house for decades…
The biggest (continue-ing) problem I’ve had is…
WATER PRESSURE !!!
We don’t have any to speak of, and we’ve been told
by professionals, there isn’t anyting to do about it !
It’s adequate… but not very forceful…
which would come in handy for the yard & shower.

Showers were okay I guess… I adapted…
but a few months ago my wife bought a new shower head…
IT WAS HORRIBLE !
Only 2 settings on it were useful.. and just barely !

FED UP…
I DID A GOOGLE SEARCH AND FOUND…

HighPressureShowerHeads.com

The website is beautiful…
They tell you what you want to hear
and they make plenty of promises
to the water-pressure-impaired !

TOO MANY…
I THOUGHT THEY MIGHT BE FULL-OF-SHIT !!!
So instead of one of the more deluxe models,
I went with a more modest one they call…

THE PERFECT



LET ME TELL YOU… IT IS PERFECT !!!
Shipped with plumber’s tape for the pipe threads…
I installed it in under a minute…
and saw the difference immediately !
(they test & rate shower heads at 20psi less than home average)

I was so excited, it affected my sleep…
(NO, I DIDN’T WET THE BED)
thinking of the wonderful morning shower
I was going to have… (ALONE… drat!)

UPON AWAKENING,
I HAD THE BEST SHOWER I’D HAD IN…
I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG…
I DIDN’T WANT TO COME OUT !!!
(the shower, not the closet)

I FELT CLEAN…
BODY, MIND, & SOUL…
SUPER-CLEAN
I didn’t even ‘take-care-of-business’
(wink, wink)

I’m sure the novelty will wear off…
but I was walking on air (water?) all morning…
(TILL I GOT TO WORK OF COURSE)

AMAZING HOW THE ‘LITTLE THINGS’
CAN BRING YOU SO MUCH PLEASURE….
(’little things’ like a ‘good’ shower… not a body part)

and although I could return this one & trade up…
I’m keeping it for now…
and when the time comes to replace it…
I’LL GET A BIT FANCIER !!!

_________________

AS AN ENTIRE PACKAGE,
IT SELLS…


BUT, DO WOMEN WEAR UGLY,
DISTRACTING SHOES ON PURPOSE ?

” I’m so hot, I can get away with it ? “

__________________

I’ve noticed cable tv channels
have moved ‘different’ movies into the rotation…
and I’d forgotten all about a really silly, funny movie from 1985…
but have watched it at least 3 times in the last week…

THE MAN WITH ONE RED SHOE
(tom hanks, darryl hannah, & great supporting cast)

IF YOU GET THE CHANCE TO SEE IT…
YOU’LL HAVE MORE THAN A FEW LAUGHS !

___________________

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… I’m even allowed to post with the BIG shots)

________________________

I GOT CAUGHT !!!
Someone firgured out MY code…

SWAK or S.W.A.K ?
You may recognize that abbreviaton
as one used on an enevelope when you want
to include a bit of affection to the recipient.
Sealed With A Kiss
Sent With A Kiss
(usually moms or women who still ‘like’ their guys use it)

WELL..  I HAD MY OWN ABBREVIATION…
and had gotten away with it for  years…
(ONLY used for correspondence to females)

TM-TOY
Touching Myself – Thinking Of You

I especially recommend NOT using this acronym
in correspondence with your wife’s sister !!!
Is SHE figures it out, she’ll probably pass it along,
and divorces can be SO messy !!!

_____________________

LEGAL or JAILBAIT ?
I CAN SEE HOW THEIR MIGHT BE QUESTIONS TO ASK !

(I’m not a ‘Roman Polanski’, so it matters)

(although for a POLANSKI, she’d have to appear 13 years old)
(( I don’t give ‘wiggle room’…” I thought she was 18 ! “))

Too bad the poor kid has those 2 appendix scars,
one on either side (if they’re ‘tats’, they don’t photograph well) !!!

___________________

NOTHING TO GO ON !!!

We re-did the bathroom a dozen years ago…
and everything (I thought) was first class !
BUT NOW ?
You flush… and the bowl doesn’t fill without holding the handle
for a few seconds after the flush goes down.
(sometimes it’s fine)
It’s more than just replacing the (older, hard to work with) guts…
it’s something the plumber says he could eff with,
but it would take so much time (cost so much),
it would be cheaper to get a new toilet !
(but at least the shower is ‘cooking’)

THE PART THAT PISSES ME OFF
IT THAT MY MOTHER IS IN THE SAME HOUSE
SINCE THE LATE 1950′S…
AND STILL HAS HER ORIGINAL FIXTURES !!!
AND THEY WORK FINE !!!

BUT ME? 10 or so YEARS IS ALL I GET !!!
(it’s not really an expense you see coming)

_____________________

little things…

I see commercials from cable companies
that provide phone service,
hawking this really cool (not really new) feature…

CALLER I.D. that appears in a ‘bar’ across the bottom
of your tv screen, giving you the option of ignoring it
without getting up, or interfering with your program !

Me?  I use Verizon for home phone…
I don’t like to put all my ‘eggs’ in one basket…
and if the cable goes out… so might the phone !
My ‘wired’ phone service works very well thank you !
(and using my cell phone for toll calls, the cost is minimal)

__________________

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC
PLAY THE WEEKLY 2-FER…
NAME THAT TUNE QUIZ !!!
——
dave, the exiled !!!

http://en.davidscott.de/

A COMMUNITY PAGE FOR LIKE THINKERS

or dave’s…

http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

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Too much time in the bathroom ?

The toilet kinda needs replacing,
but the new, high-pressure shower head is great ?

Five days after using the new shower head…
The flow-diverter on the tub blows out !!!
NOW THAT’S HIGH-PRESSURE !!!

There must have been pressure blow-back
and the dozen year old diverter gave out !!!
I NEVER HEARD OF THIS BEFORE…
THIS IS A NEW ONE ON ME !!!

AND, OF COURSE, THE FIX ISN’T EASY…
I went to buy a cheap, replacement for the time being…
(we may be re-doing the fixtures soon)
came home with the wrong one thru no fault of my own !!!
Exchanged it for the right one ?
Seems we have a non-standard hook-up
from the ‘fancy’ fixtures we got when we re-did the room…
SO I HAVE A CALL IN TO A FRIGGIN’ PLUMBER !
I just don’t trust myself to NOT make it worse…
AT LEAST I HAVE SHOWER CAPABILITY NOW !!!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD…
IT’S NEVER EASY…

addendum…
When the plumber saw the ‘delta’ connector…

he shrugged and said…
” IT’S NEVER EASY ! “

my reply?
” YOU TOO ? “

_________________

for some reason…
the pic below reminds me of an old joke…
with the punchline…

YOU GRAB THE CIGAR,
I’LL SLAP HIS FACE !!!

HAPPY  HALLOWEEN !!!

ps – avoid this guy’s house when trick-or-treating !

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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