†RIP Renfield #522 – GO HOME, COLUMBUS †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger,  you can contact me at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield #522 -  GO HOME, COLUMBUS †
October 17, 2009

———————-

Ya know… I’m not in the mood…
I got rained on today.. i’ll get rained on tomorrow…
Temperatures well below normal… IT’S COLD !!!
and rain in the forecast for the next 4 days…

It’ll probably be a short issue…
and right after my birthday and all…
YOU’D THINK I’D BE IN A BETTER MOOD !!!
but it’s gotten way late… both the night and the week…

SO LET’S GET IT OVER WITH….

_______________________

THE ‘RETURN’ TRIP ?
( and not soon enough !!! )

BE SURE TO READ THE 2nd PARAGRAPH
OF HIS ‘TRIBUTE’…

” In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue…”
(I don’t rememeber them mentioning the ‘other stuff’ in school)

R.I.P

Christopher Columbus was a navigator, colonizer and explorer
whose voyages across the Atlantic Ocean led to general European
awareness of the American continents in the Western Hemisphere.
With his four voyages of exploration and several attempts
at establishing a settlement on the island of Hispaniola,
all funded by Isabella I of Castile, he initiated the process of
Spanish colonization which foreshadowed
general European colonization of the “New World.”

He was responsible for the deaths of millions of Native Americans
(estimates range between 1 & 3 million) in first 15 years
of his colonization of the Caribbean (eliminating entire peoples).
and was the founder of the practice of slavery in the Americas.

The anniversary of Columbus’s 1492 landing in the Americas
is observed as Columbus Day on October 12 in Spain
and throughout the Americas, except that in the United States
it is observed on the second Monday in October.

It’s amazing they still give him a parade….
(they’ve gone back and shit on custer for decades)

HEY… A DAY-OFF-WORK is a DAY-OFF-WORK !!!
(it’s not like I put on a party hat & celebrate)

I guess history makes the heroes…
You wouldn’t have them otherwise..
You don’t usually see them walking among us…
(people are way too human, plus you have to be a prick to ‘ascend’)

___________________

Last Sunday my mom & sisters (& assorted people )
dropped by for my birthday…
A nice dinner, football on tv, a home-made cake…
pretty standard stuff…  ONE UNUSUAL THING ?

When my younger sister arrived with her long-time boyfriend,
she told us a story…
My house is in  developement…
houses pretty much the same, lined up the same…
and the few blocks leading to mine..
numbered the same !

They pulled up to number 202…
and marvelled at what we did to the house…
got rid of the cherry tree, changed the cement walk,
planted a garden, painted it white, etc…
She went right up to the door and let herself in…
said a big hello to the gang sitting around the room
watching the football game on tv…
no one looking surprised at their entrance…
and my dog running up to greet her…

AT THIS POINT…
SHE ASKS… “WHERE’S GARY ?”
and the reply is… ” GARY WHO ?”
It’s only at this point…
SHE REALIZES THEY ARE IN THE WRONG HOUSE !
(very low-key people, they went with the flow)

BY THE WAY…
My house is blue, I have a cherry tree out front,
the cement work & landscaping are the same…
AND I  NEVER OWNED A DOG !!!

I guess she doesn’t get here that much…
she turned on the wrong street…
and now has a story to tell !!!


It reminded me of a story of when I was a kid…
I was out all day, it was getting dark,
I rode my bike home, parked it in the garage…
and went into the house…
I stood there puzzled… I didn’t recognize the furniture,
and I heard voices coming from the upstairs
that I didn’t recognize !
Immediately, I let myself out, got on my bike…
rode off, and found that I had turned a block late
(my parent’s lived in a developement too)…
THOSE PEOPLE HEARD ME, DIDN’T SEE ME…
AND PROBABLY WONDER TO THIS DAY
WHAT WENT ON THAT DAY !!!

Kinda the same as my sister…
but, HEY… I wasn’t even 10 years old !!!

WOW.. IMAGINE THOSE DAYS…
A 9 year old kid out for the day on his bike,
left first thing in the morning,
only came back because it was dark..
AND MY PARENTS NEVER WORRIED
ABOUT MY SAFETY…
IT’S THE WAY WE ALL LIVED !!!

_____________________

THERE HAS BEEN A REAL NASTY CAMPAIGN
(democrats & republicans)
FOR THE NOVEMBER GOVERNOR’S ELECTION IN NEW JERSEY !!!

I’ve watched the commercials from both sides…
MY CONCLUSION ?
I’m convinced… the evidence was over-whelming…
THEY ARE BOTH BUMS !!!
The incumbent can tout his record of accomplishment
(he might try… but his accomplishments aren’t visible),
The challenger ?
Comes across as the same old bad-type of politician
that’s made New Jersey famous !!!!

THE INDEPENDENT CANDIDATE
IS THE ONLY ONE WHO’S NOT PROVED
HE’S PART OF THE PROBLEM !!!
Comes across as a pretty sharp, non-slimy, smart politician…
(a real handicap to running for office)
He may not win, but he has my vote !!!

_______________________

for all I say about politics
and political parties…
I can ALWAYS be counted on for a donation…

If a poll worker ‘corners’ me
and does a good enough job ‘convincing’…
THEY CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME
FOR CASH MONEY FOR THEIR CAUSE !!!

POLL WORKER… POLE DANCER…
SAME THING, RIGHT ?
(working the pole)

____________________

I found this picture in a copy of a
RUSSIAN PLAYBOY MAGAZINE…

You think people complain here in the USA ?
There were numerous complaints from readers over there…

Their view of the tractor was obstructed
by the damn girl !!!

(is that Amanda Bynes’s (all grown up) driver’s seat?)

____________

david letterman commercials
can be pretty funny…
(I’m not patient enough to watch the show)

to the audience…
” AS I ANNOUNCE YOUR NAME,
COME DOWN AND PICK UP
YOUR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE…”

things Columbus might say…
” IS THAT THE SAME JOHN McCAIN
THAT WAS ON THE PINTA ? ”

_____________________

I just read that OBAMA
fought back, in a public statement,
to those that claim (like the SNL skit) that he’s done NOTHING
of note in his short tenure in office…
and criticizing him for an ‘un-earned’ NOBEL PRIZE !!!

To be fair… he’s new on the job,
it can all come together at any time,
and we don’t see the back-room machinations
of the presidency….

TO BE BLUNT !!!
I FIND IT EMBARASSING THAT HE ADDRESSED
THE CRITICISM IN PUBLIC !!!
THE ‘BULLIES’ GOT TO HIM !!!
and hurt his feelings…
There is no need to reply to the pun-sters & satirists…
UNLESS…
YOU are acknowledging there is something to defend !!!

HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT…
KEPT  WORKING…
AND LOOK & ACT PRESIDENTIAL !!!
(actions and results will quiet the nay-sayers)

___________________

I was reading this very moving story
about a teen in africa…
his parents couldn’t afford his continued schooling
($80 per year)
so he was put to work in the fields…

but the kid took it upon himself
to continue his education by himself…
finding out about such a thing as a windmill,
he used library books and scrap from a junkpile
to build his own windmill…

CURIOSITY, DESIRE & NEED
MADE IT HAPPEN…
He was able to generate electricity for light…
(so he could stay up and read instead of bed by 7pm)
mill power to bring water to his house…
and with the interest the world is showing…
he’s going to be responsible for bringing power
to many more in his country…

THE ONE THING I FOUND FUNNY ?
When the word got out that he was able to generate
a mininal amount of electricity…
he was sought out by many to
CHARGE THEIR CELL PHONES !!!

Technological conditions like a visit to amish country,
but they still had cell phones !!!

READ MORE OF THE STORY…
wired.com/wiredscience/2009/10/kamwamba-windmill/

____________________

WARM ?  MOVING ?  FEEL GOOD STUFF ?
BACK TO REALITY…

a cynical look at (some) women ?
(or observant)

The same acid-tongued women (few as far as I can see)
who are demanding David Letterman’s head
for having sex with (subordinate) staffers on his show…

ARE PROBABLY THE SAME ONES
THAT WOULD BE ‘BRAGGING’ TO THEIR GRANDCHILDREN
THAT THEY ‘BANGED’ ELVIS !!!
(probably put it on a t-shirt so everyone would know)

note on letterman sex…
So far, I haven’t heard that the women he ‘dated’
are claiming any kind of sexual harassment…
(spending you day at work? you may find ‘the one’)

THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE, GOING PUBLIC,
DEFENDING ROMAN POLANSKI THAN LETTERMAN !

My defense(?) of Letterman to a vocal woman at work
who thought very little of him for his sexual activity ?
He’s so bad? What about the ‘tarts’ having relationships
with a married man… or an involved one… secretly.. on the side !
TAKES 2 (or more) TO TANGO !!!

—–

NEXT…
The same woman that joins a gym
to get some excercise and stay in shape…
One who ‘invests’ in expsensive exercise clothing & footwear?

IS THE SAME ONE THAT PAYS SOMEONE ELSE
TO CUT HER LAWN !!!
(not a day out, but reasonably efficient exercise)

A JOB FOR THE MAN-OF-THE-HOUSE ?
(Fine, if she’s not finding the need for additional exercise)

_________________

ROGAINE
has come up with a new body lotion…

I GUESS IT’S SUCCESSFUL ?

___________________

2 QUICK THINGS…

Why would a cell phone company offer, and advertise,
a walkie-talkie function as a must-have ?
It seems more functional, and less phone-centric,
to just put the bastard on speed dial
and wait the 3 seconds !!!

Next… I was visiting a senior housing center…
(NO, not for me… I’m decades away from being an inmate)
and one of the maintenance guys was having a good laugh…
Seems I was wearing my RIP baseball cap…

(I always wear it, my pony-tail is still growing in)

and he caught the meaning of REST-in-PEACE…
THEY MUST SEE THOSE ‘LETTERS’ ALOT IN THAT PLACE !
NOT TOO COOL IN A BUILDING FULL OF OLD-STERS
WAITING FOR GOD !!!
So I put in on backwards, so as not to offend !!!

(geez..  OLD people are such sticklers when it comes to death stuff)

_________________

I’M SO EMBARASSED...

You know how you sing a song for 30 or 40 years
and THEN you find out that
you’re singing the wrong lyric !!!

SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES….

They asked me how I knew
My true love was TRUE ?

TRUE ? C’mon…
It doesn’t flow… it’s not smooth…

They asked me how I knew
My true love was YOU !!!


NOW ISN’T THAT MUCH BETTER ?

——–

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC
PLAY THE WEEKLY 2-FER…
NAME THAT TUNE QUIZ !!!

——

dave, the exiled !!!

http://en.davidscott.de/

A COMMUNITY PAGE FOR LIKE THINKERS

or dave’s…

http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

————

CARO
http://www.caro-im-inter.net/?language=en
LUTHEA SALOM
http://www.lutheasalom.com/

MUSICAL TALENTS WORTH YOUR ATTENTION !!!

__________________

I really hate it when a movie or a tv show is sloppy
and the writers make an obvious mistake,
or a plot hole that isn’t based in reality,
or just something completely stupid…
or letting actors spread their acting wings on side stories…
and I must be right… those shows are loisng viewers in droves !
BACK TO BASICS PLEASE !!!

CASE in POINT ?    CSI
A very slow, plodding show anyway…
(that I never got on board for in ‘first run’)
A lazy show... lots of gathering fingerprints,
and not enough story for an hour…

ANYWAY…
A car crashes on a highway out side the city… (rural)
Two teen boys are dead… SO INVESTIGATE !!!
Short version… boys were knocking down mailboxes
with a baseball bat while driving by quickly…
Turns out that they lost control because some guy,
sick of replacing his mailbox (and the cops doing nothing),
put up a mailbox filled with cement !

Kid hits it with bat, bat bounces back, hits driver,
car goes off road.. badda-bing-badda-boom… DEAD !

JUST DESSERTS FOR 2 HOOLIGANS ?
Of course not… arrest the ‘victim of the vandals’
for 2 counts  (of some such degree)  of MURDER !!!

AND LEAD THE GUY OFF LIKE
HE’S SOME JERK-OFF CRIMINAL !!!
(the investigators thought mailbox baseball cool)

I wouldn’t have minded if it was a lesson to kids
to not be a-holes and vandalize…
BUT MAKING IT THE MAILBOX OWNER’S FAULT
IS COMPLETE LUNACY !!!

(seinfeld voice)
” WHAT WERE THEY THINKING ? ”

Turns out CSI took the idea from real-life…
I easily found pics of cement filled mailboxes
of repeat victims looking to break an arm-or-two !!!

__________________

on to better tv ?

GOOD  NEWS  ?

HOPEFULLY…

Us purists might be a bit critical,
but I’m STILL looking forward to the updated, remake
of the classic, cult series !!!
(there’s such un-original crap on tv these days)

The IFC Network (on MY cable system.. comcast)…
is currently showing original Prisoner episodes
on friday nights… 3 in a row !!!
(and the cleaned-up digital prints are glorious)

At the same time…
they herald the arrival of the NEW Prisoner series…
(homage to the original, but also stand-alone)
NOVEMBER 15th !!!

(also commercials for a 6 part Monty Python series in October)

I’m a long-time member of the
Prisoner Appreciation Society (6-of-1),
and actually made the trek to the promised land…
Port Meirion in North Wales
where the original show was shot…

(I TOOK THESE PHOTOS)

THE ORIGINAL SHOW MADE
AN EXTREMELY LARGE IMPRESSION
ON MY YOUNG MIND…
and it’s not lost it’s luster in the last 40 years !!!
(the prisoner, doctor who, isaac asimov, robt. heinlein
have provided most of the ‘deep thought’ in my life)

BE SEEING YOU !!!

(I’ll remind again when the air-date gets closer)

____________________

AND ON THAT NOTE…

” I’LL ‘BE SEEING YOU’ TOO…”

(next week or apple-blossom time… which ever comes first)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

+++++++++++++++++++++