† RIP Renfield #517 – BACK to SCHOOL 2 †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger,  contact me at…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #517 – BACK to SCHOOL 2 †
September 12, 2009

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I told you I had some especially good
BACK-to-SCHOOL top RIP banners !!!

New York City is a pretty big Democratic stronghold.
Why did Obama give his ’school’ speech
the day before classes started there ?

IT COULD HAVE WAITED A DAY !!!

and big deal.. Obama gave the kids a rah-rah speech…
as I recall, most presidents have addressed school kids…
(Bush was with school kids when 9-11 was happening)
LIKE ANYONE LISTENED TO ANY OF THEM ?

_________________

R.I.P
GLADYS  COOPER

I woke one morning to a Turner Classic Movie…
THE GAY FALCON (with George Sanders, not Tom Conway),
one of a popular series of  mystery movies…
There was an actress who looked very familiar to me
that I just couldn’t place…
it was a ‘young’ version of someone I knew as older…
It was more her voice & ‘bearing’ than looks…  so off to the IMDB.

No wonder she looked familiar to me…
She had tons of credits I should have known from memory…
THEY INCLUDED…
Rebecca, Now Voyager, Mr. Lucky, The Song of Bernadette,
Love Letters, The Bishop’s Wife, The Secret Garden,
The List of Adrian Messenger, My Fair Lady,
and tons of early (classic) TV appearances…
and many on the network shows of the day…
from Twilight Zone to critically acclaimed anthology shows !

QUITE A RESUME… MANY OF MY FAVORITES…
and recognized as a ‘treasure’…
She was awarded the
Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire !

WOW…

REST-in-PEACE

____________________

A BACK-to-SHOOL NOTE ?

Pakistan destroys suicide bomber training camp

ISLAMABAD (AP) – Helicopter gunships destroyed a training camp
for suicide bombers in the Swat Valley, killing 6 Taliban fighters.

SUICIDE BOMBER SCHOOL ?
LOOKS LIKE 6 OF THEM GRADUATED !!!
CONGRATS !!!

_____________________

EDISON, NEW JERSEY
(the next town over from me)
was named one of the 10 best towns
in the USA to raise kids !!!

A week later ?
The arrest of an Edison, NJ kids sport coach
for the kid porn pics found on HIS computer !!!
THOUSANDS OF PEDO-PICS ON HIS COMPUTER !!!
Sounds like he got STUNG !!!
(and wasn’t a minor player)

ARE PEOPLE THAT STUPID STILL ?
It’s one thing to be a pervert… but a stupid one ?
I guess it’s a good thing that criminal adult computer users
don’t realize they are trace-able…
and the many ’sting-operations’ out there
created for dangling-a-carrot they can’t resist !!!
(same goes for a school teacher who ‘hits’ on the students)

SICK, SICK, SICK…
and impossible for us ‘healthy’ ones to comprehend !
(high school girls on the verge of legal? teases? a bit easier to understand)

__________________

not too many winning moves as president…
(unless you hit on ’success’ right away)

HEADLINE
Following grim unemployment report,
the president (obama) pledges to work
on fix with business and labor.

My personal point of view was that the business fix
should have been the number one priority,
and with a better economy,
the heathcare program would have a better chance !

The above headline seems to imply that
there IS a fix, one that has yet to be implemented,
while making another program (healthcare) the priority !!!

IF THE BUSINESS ‘FIX’ HAPPENED  IN HIS 1st TERM,
OBAMA WOULD HAVE EASILY HAD A 2nd TERM
TO PUT THROUGH THE HEALTHCARE PROGRAM !!!
(and had more time to research it & the support of it)

——

MY QUESTIONS ABOUT HEALTHCARE ?

Is it reform, so I get more for my money ?
Is it providing low-cost, no-cost healthcare
to the needy and under-earners only?

OR IS THE GOV’T SELLING BETTER-THAN- NOTHING
HEALTH INSURANCE THAT YOU CAN’T REFUSE TO BUY ?

It seems an agenda that needs more research,
not just ‘bull’ into it after a few months in office !
(and ’selling’ it to a people JUST surviving in a ‘bad economy)

BUT LIKE I ALWAYS SAY… I WANT OBAMA TO SUCCEED !!!

MAIN REASON ?     I LIVE HERE,
THERE’S NO POSITIVE FOR ME IF THE COUNTRY SUFFERS !!!
He has-had a unique opportunity to really do some good,
but he’s been coming across as a ‘politician’ not a leader !

______________________

SHOULD A WOMAN BE UPSET
IF HER MAN KEEPS PLAYBOY OR PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE
IN THE HOUSE (discreetly in a drawer) ?

I know i’m ‘dating’ myself…
Magazines?  Do they still exist ?
YOU WANT LIVE ACTION FREE PORN…
IT’S RIGHT ONLINE !!!

But as for the woman getting bent out of shape ?

LOOKING… Should not be a problem.

LOOKING with your dick in your hand ?

OKAY, I CAN SEE HER POINT !!!
(wait till she’s out of the house)

If it’s something you want, and it’s a deal breaker…
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOGETHER ?
There will be more rules from ‘mommy’ to come !!!

___________________

OKAY.. JUST LOOK THIS TIME…

I CAN’T DECIDE IF THIS AD GETS RIP  MORE ATTENTION
or
PISSES OFF MY CORE AUDIENCE ?

BAD PLACEMENT OF THE ‘PLUG’ ?

_____________________

RENFIELD’S  TOOLBOX

You only need two tools in life -
WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn’t move and it does, use the duct tape.

(OKAY… 3 TOOLS)

If you can’t fix it with a hammer,
you’ve got an electrical problem.

__________________

the CAT & MOUSE game…

If you remember me mentioning mice a short time ago…
Some field mice found their way into our kitchen pantry…
(as evidenced by mouse droppings)

It was surprising since we have 5 cats in the house…
and there are no other wild critters left in the neighborhood…
Our guys have brought down everything from rabbits to birds !
BUT… SOME KIND OF TRUCE MUST EXIST INSIDE THE HOUSE !!!

Even with 5 cats, we were able to trap at least 6 field mice…
(we think the rest of the troop got the message, it’s quiet now)

SO TODAY I GET A PHONE CALL FROM MY NEPHEW…
We’re going over to his mother’s house (my sister)
for birthday cake and to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He mentioned that his mother was ready to move out…
there was a little mouse spotted running thru her kitchen !
They practically emptied the kitchen of EVERYTHING,
bought 3 different kinds of traps…
baited the traps with cheese and peanut butter…
BUT HAVE HAD NO LUCK CATCHING THE MOUSE
FOR THE LAST 4 DAYS !!!

THIS PART IS WHAT GOT ME & MY WIFE LAUGHING…

HE WANTED US TO BRING ONE OF OUR CATS
TO HIS MOTHER’S HOUSE TO CATCH THE MOUSE !!!

ONE OF OUR LAZY CATS ?
So far, the mice in my house are winning…
THE SCORE ?
6 mice (caught by us)  to  0 mice (not caught bycats) !!!

I explained to him about our own infestation,
and he decided to ‘go’with the traps !!!

________________________

ONE OF MY KIDS MIGHT BE
GETTING A SHOT AT JOINING THE SPACE PROGRAM !!!

She’s run into some Science, Scientology, whatever, group
that’s very interested in signing her up !!!

I’ve heard that all they want is money from you…
NOT A PROBLEM…  SHE HAS NONE !!!
And if they can hook her up with a $100,000 a year job ?
I’D GIVE THEM HALF !!!
(it’s $50,000 more than nothing)

______________________

BACK-to-SCHOOL ?
Usually the sight of a school girl smoking
is pretty revolting to me…
but there was a time when I was more ‘forgiving’…

IN THE OLDEN, MORE INNOCENT DAYS…
If you found a girl who liked to get ‘high’
you might be able to have sex with her…

CAN  I  ROLL-A-JOINT
or
CAN  I  ROLL-A-JOINT  ?

___________________

As I turned the corner to my street the other day…
I was kinda annoyed at my neighbor…
the day before I had cut my lawn.
(more like ‘manicured’ it)
My next door neighbor, a landscaper,
had his crew working HIS lawn…
they did a beautiful job…
cut, edged, and the cuttings ‘blown’ away
from their walks & the street & gutters in front of their home…
THE ONLY PROBLEM ?
They ‘blew’ the clippings & leaves away from THEIR property
leaving a leaf-less arc around THEIR property !

GUESS WHERE THE LEAVES & CLIPPINGS ENDED UP ?
Yep… alot of them in front of MY tree-less house !!!
I went to all the extra trouble the day before,
and now the gutters in front of MY house are filled with dead leaves !

I CAN’T GET TOO ANNOYED THOUGH…
One quick pass with a broom and they are gone…
and besides…
I’ve been known to sweep my clippings (neatly)
into the gutter of the house on the OTHER side of mine !
(the downhill side)

BUT THE BLOWER THING ?
THAT’S NOT NEIGHBORLY !
There are more houses on the street besides mine,
and the one who ‘moved’ the mess would be
the first one to complain if someone did it to them !
CAN’T THEY SET THE THING TO VACUUM ?

_____________________

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC
PLAY THE WEEKLY 2-FER…
NAME THAT TUNE QUIZ !!!
——
dave, the exiled !!!

http://en.davidscott.de/

GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

___________________

I know it’s the Jackson family
at the burial ceremony for Michael…

but when I saw this pic…
my first thought was…

” IT’S JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT…
(and then a step to the ri-yi-yi-yi-right)

ala …  ROCKY  HORROR  !!!


then there’s always…



http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… They even allow ME to post with the famous)

________________________

Just off the top of my head at (at work)…
I created a joke to fit a unique situation…
IT GOT SOME GOOD LAUGHS FROM SOME
AND SOME GROANS FROM OTHERS…

I thought I might use it for RIP
but decided to check it out first on a Jewish friend of mine…
(it wasn’t anti-semitic, but mention of a ‘camp’ might not ‘fly’)

ALTHOUGH THE FRIEND LAUGHED…
He suggested that it could be considered very ‘bad taste’ to some…
AND SOMEONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW ME MIGHT THINK WORSE OF ME !
(my college room-mate of choice was jewish, as are my 2 stepkids)

Oh.. one more thing…
He recommended not repeating it within earshot of his wife…
SINCE SHE WOULD TAKETHE OCCASION TO
” CUT MY BALLS OFF !!! ”

(some people react that way to MY ‘humor’)

SO I WON’T BE USING THAT JOKE HERE OR OUT-LOUD
(ever)

_____________________

SANDRA  BULLOCK ?

I picked her out as someone to watch for
many years before she ‘hit’ big…
you could tell, even in a small supporting role,
that she had ’something’…

Well… I THINK SHE LOST IT !!!
I’m see-ing commercials for this new movie of hers…
and instead of the capable, but vulnerable, cutsie comedies
she’s become famous for… (with good supporting casts)…

THIS MOVIE APPEARS TO BE HER, AS STAR,
FRONT & CENTER,
and  playing way-over-the-top capable(?),
(nee annoying)
LOUD, BRASH, PUSHY, DEMANDING come to mind…

” I’M SO WONDERFUL, I KNOW IT,
NOW YOU CAN SEE ME IN ALL MY GLORY ! “
and running after a guy who thinks he doesn’t want her…
AND I DONT’ BLAME HIM !!!

Also… she’s looking differently physically…
She’s not as visually pleasing, or pleasant.
Like Kellie Martin, she actually needs a few more pounds
on her, than she’d rather, to look her best !

In harsh words… she’s probably aged to where she thinks
she needed to do something about it…
looks to have a way too thin body, & making her head look too big,
and just plain lost the cuteness she always had !!!
(does her face look ‘plastic’ in the pic below?)

First week, the movie box office came in at 3rd place,
(and not that high a dollar figure)
I don’t think it’ll have much staying power in the theater,
it’s no… WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING…
which I watched a part of today, and still teared up a bit…

I’m a big pussy when it comes to that…
AFFAIR TO REMEMBER right after that had me going too !

____________________

the RENFIELD LOTTERY UPDATE …

the ‘OLD’ RENFIELD LUCK…

I’m in a betting pool thru someone I work with…
(several hundred people play)
You put in $20, pick 6 numbers,
and first one who gets ALL 6 numbers in the Pick6 game,
drawn twice a week, wins the pool of money !
You could win in one drawing with all 6,
or 2 numbers this drawing, 1 the next, etc…
and many times multiple winners since
you could win with 1 number, and someone else needing 3.
(I think I explained that well enough)
YOU COULD WIN UPWARDS OF $5000 !!!
I came close once… needing 1 number
and getting beat by someone that needed 4 !!!
(damn-it)

AFTER A COUPLE OF YEARS OF PLAY,
I DECIDED I COULDN’T AFFORD IT ANYMORE,
SO DROPPED OUT THIS LAST TIME…

GUESS WHO’S LEADING WITH 4 NUMBERS ?
(same ones I always play)

ME !!!  But I dropped out of the game !!!
I fully expect the next 2 numbers to be drawn shortly.
THAT’S THE WAY MY LUCK GOES…
If I played them, they’d never come out…
I don’t play ?   HERE THEY COME !!!

______________

So.. LUCKY  BOY… ME !!!
I will be off now to dream of my winnings…

by the way…
I know ‘lucky boy’ is jailhouse slang for a pedophile…

That’s not my reference…
Mine is more in a sarcastic vein,
that not only do I have BAD luck in general,
it comes back to bite-me-in-the-ass
by turning to my ‘wished’ result
after I’m out of the game…
IT’S THE STORY OF MY LIFE !!!

(it’s almost like I can predict the future,
and purposely deny myself the good luck result)

LUCKY  BOY,  OUT !!!

(uh.. it refers to me LEAVING, and NOT ‘coming out’)

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
or email
RIPRenfield@aol.com

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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