† RIP Renfield #516 – LABOR DAY (push) †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger…
come visit, we can trade ‘adds’ as friend at…

www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

or for email subscriptions, or to contact me…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #516 – LABOR DAY (push) †
September 5, 2009

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happy lamaze day…
er… LABOR DAY !!!

Just as I’ve heard it claimed
that the 4th-of-July is the ‘official’ kick-off to summer…
Labor Day (1st Monday in September), back-to-school for many…
is the ‘official’, if not calendar, END-TO-SUMMER !!!

Summer took a long time to arrive her in New Jersey…
cool & damp until a month or so ago…
but it made up for it in mid-August…
But, like the early ‘brown’ leaves…
the extra cool mornings and evening cool-downs…
have just the hint of Autumn in them !!!
(you can almost taste it)

AND LATE MORNING-to-EVENING IS ALL SUMMER…
but with a reasonable amount of humidity…
I COULD GET USED TO THIS…

WATCH-OUT FOR THE HOLIDAY DRUNKS…
& like they sing in the STAPLES OFFICE STORE COMMERCIAL…
” It’s the most wonderful time of the year !!!! “

The kiddies are back in school !!!
PEACE & QUIET & THE HOUSE TO YOURSELF, AT LAST !!!

JOYOUS ?
LET’S JUST SAY THAT  “it doesn’t suck ! “

psst… kids back in school ?
It’s the perfect time to ‘hit’ those historical, or fun, spots
that are over-run while school is out !
For me?  In the past, I’ve gone to the NJ Devils Hockey Team
practices (open to the public) when school is in session…
Got to see the players close-up.. and meet & talk to some of them…
AND.. October was the perfect time to get to the crown of
THE STATUE OF LIBERTY !!!
I had gone several times over the years,
only to be dissuaded by the crowds on line ahead of me…
(I think they do it by ‘ticket’ now, not ‘first come’ like pre-9-11)

OKAY… ONWARD  WITH  RIP Renfield…
You probably have a cook-out to get to !!!

__________

I DIDN’T WIN THE $350 MILLION
IN THE MEGA-GAME LOTTERY…
(go figure)

I understand that the odds of winning are impossibly huge…
but one in a billion is better than none in a billion…
And I only play the BIG games for life-altering prizes !
Sometimes the hope gives great comfort….
SOMETIMES THE HOPE OF WINNING
FEELS LIKE YOUR ONLY WAY OUT !
(and SOMEONE has to win, why not me? or you?)

I WAS WONDERING…
Has a celebrity (low level or academy award winner)…
ever won millions in a state lottery ?
They HAVE to be playing too !!! (even if just minimally)
I’ve seen newscasters & weather girls talk on-air
about buying, pool-ing, and dreaming about winning…

YOU THINK THEY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY,
SO THEY DON’T PLAY ?
(I don’t think so)
AND YOU COULD ALWAYS DONATE IT TO CHARITY,
and screw the gov’t out of the taxes !!!

IT WOULD PISS ME OFF IF A BIG LOTTO WINNER WAS…
Rich, Famous, an illegal alien, a terrorist, a foreigner,  a neighbor…
BUT THEY HAVE THE SAME CHANCE OF WINNING
THAT YOU AND I HAVE !!!
(but they never seem to)

LIKE I SAID, THE ODDS ARE HUMONGOUS !!!

The only difference in my play since I got smart…
(might be smarter not to play at all)
was to play minimal amounts… otherwise losses add up over a year !
I see people getting into pools for $10 or $20…
or buying large amounts of tickets when the prize rises…
but, in reality, in numeric terms…
the increase in your odds of winning only rise minimally
whether you have 1 ticket, or 100, or 1000…
IT JUST TAKES YOU LONGER TO FIND OUT YOU LOST !!!
(which might not be a bad thing)

______________________

R.I.P
LES PAUL

I COULD GO ON & SING HIS PRAISES,
BUT OTHERS HAVE DONE IT SO MUCH BETTER…

‘NUFF SAID ?
(not even close)

Makes you sad that you didn’t get to live thru early genius…
(and recognize it and follow it)
but you could have lived it and missed it anyway…
not the music, but the inventiveness…
WHO KNEW ?

Go ahead and GOOGLE him (in awe) !
and try to catch the PBS retrospective !

(another contributor to the Summer-of-Death)

_________________

There was a comic impersonator
being interviewed on tv…

HE’S WORKING ON DOING OBAMA…
Not quite there… but the method ?

TALK SLOW & DELIBERATE AT FIRST,
THAN SPEED IT UP AS YOU GET TO THE END…

OH.. AND THROW IN LOTS OF…
“OKAY”   &   ” NOW HERE’S THE DEAL”

and if he uses both of them together ?

IT’S GOING TO COST YOU SOMETHING !!!

____________________

See… it’s everywhere…
‘54′

TOKYO – Japan’s ruling party conceded a crushing defeat
after 54 years
of nearly unbroken rule
as voters gave a landslide victory in nationwide elections…

—

Former Dallas Cowboys linebacker Eugene Lockhart
was arrested with eight others in a mortgage fraud scheme.
The U.S. Attorney’s Office said they made 54 fraudulent loan closings
in the Dallas area that totaled about $20.5 million.

—-

Re: Obama speech to students in the classroom.
The Dallas suburb of Plano, Texas, the 54,000-student school district
is not showing the address but will make the video available later.

_________________

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC
PLAY THE WEEKLY 2-FER…
NAME THAT TUNE QUIZ !!!

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

____________________

cell phone tv commercial idea…

This under-age teen girl is sitting at a table,
she’s conned an attractive older man, a phone company salesman,
to her home, supposedly to talk to her parents about service…
When challenged, the girl hits a remote control button,
and the lights dim, the fireplace lights…
and she has love in her eyes…

Of course… the salesman gives a look that says…
” C’mon now… be serious… where are your parents? “

SOUND A BIT LIKE A PEDOPHILE’S DREAM ?

If you reverse the sexes…
there is a current cell phone commercial
that has a teen boy putting the moves on an
older, attractive woman… (catherine zeta-jones)

It GOOGLES under ‘boy tries to seduce zeta-jones’…
SO THE INTENT IS UN-MISTAKABLE !!!

A BIT OF A DOUBLE-STANDARD ?

FUNNY HOW…
IT’S CUTE.. AND GOOD FOR HIM (the kid)…
and the ‘crime’ acceptable… as a simple commercial…
(not even a blip on the radar)
when a hormone driven boy tries to seduce a grown woman !!!

LIKE AN OLD BILL COSBY BIT…
I’m guilty too !!!
For my sons it would be…
GO GET ‘EM !!!
For my daughter ?
THAT MOTHER-EFFER.. I’LL KILL HIM !!!
(that last part is me, not Cosby)

__________________

I un-intentionally impressed some co-workers
the other day… (called ‘hero’ by one in fact)

While out & about…
I thought I had seen my boss’s boss driving around town…
In fact, he drove past me twice in 10 minutes !
I wasn’t really sure it was him… I didn’t know the car,
it had tinted windows, and his face was partially
obscured by the cell phone he was talking on…

Later in the day, returning to the office…
I asked if that was him…
(statement of fact only)
and why I wasn’t sure it was him…
(the cell phone)
YES IT WAS…
And, I wasn’t looking, but I was told that his face showed
being flustered.. and ’struggling’ to come up with the excuse of…
” It wasn’t a company car, it would have been MY ticket.”

(stupid me.. I thought it was about safety, not the ticket)
((and setting a good example for a company policy?))

My boss, his underling, gave out a LOUD “WHOA !!!”
Jokingly I thought… but it turned out to be more of a ‘gotcha’…
and the workers present spread the story like wild-fire…

WHY I’M THE ‘HERO’ ?

It seems that for the wealthy, or politicians, or those in power…
There are TWO sets of rules…
one for themselves, one for ‘underlings’ & everyone else…

One of the workers had recently been ‘disciplined’
(private meeting, union representation)
for the same offense !!!
It didn’t seem like such a big deal when one of the wardens did it…

SO UN-INTENTIONALLY I CALLED HIM OUT ON IT !!!
AND THOSE PRESENT ENJOYED SEE-ING HIM EMBARASSED !!!

(and yes, turns out the ‘boss-guy’ WAS driving a company car)

______________________

Did you ever wonder what happened
to seized counterfeit (knock-off) goods ?

Like the losing championship team clothing
printed with them as the ‘winners’…
didn’t you always assume it ended up in 3rd world countries
clothing the poor and unfortunate ?

I’m reading in the Sunday paper that the
NEW YORK-NEW JERSEY U.S. CUSTOMS
AND BORDER PROTECTION officials…
are launching a NEW program to donate the stuff
to the needy of the world !!!
” We thought, we have all this stuff,
why not put it to good use? “

Duh… they JUST thought of this ?
For decades, they’ve been incinerating & shredding
perfectly good shoes & clothing…
(after taking whatever they could use themsevles?)
instead of finding a better use for the items !!!

THIS IS AN ULTIMATE STUPIDITY !!!
All that ever needed doing was to deface the item
(slightly) with a permanent dye
so as to prevent resale & protect the manufacturers !!!

SHAME ON THEM FOR THINKING
THEY CAME UP WITH A UNIQUE, INNOVATIVE PROGRAM !!!
When it would have occurred to a 10 year old naturally !!!

ADDENDUM…
I’m told by my wife (connected to import-export)
that the problem was always the permission of the ‘designer’
or the owner of the REAL goods…
and the expense (including tariffs) of exporting…
I STILL make the argument that with defacing of the items
and some charity (or Bill Gates) taking on the expenses…
IT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE YEARS AGO…

HEY.. SOMEHOW THEY’RE GETTING IT DONE NOW !!!

_________________

EVEN MORE LOCAL FOR ME…
MIDDLESEX COUNTY, NJ…
They are using federal stimulus money
for an 18 year old dream to remove railroad tracks
and turn old railroad lines into hiking trails !!!

IS THIS WHAT THE MONEY WAS MEANT FOR ?
ONE project, the trail is done, and no jobs later ?
At least the unemployed will have someplace nice to hang out !
HEY…HERE’S MONEY WHETHER YOU NEED IT OR NOT,
DO SOME LOCAL PROJECT WITH THE MONEY…

IT REMINDS ME OF STATES THAT USED
HOMELAND PROTECTION FUNDS
for the silliest of NON-terror uses…
and states like New York & New Jersey had funding cut !
Uh.. this was the friggin’ entry point for the terrorists,
and where they chose, and will choose, to strike again !!!

CAN’T SOMEONE BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE
FOR THE WILLY-NILLY HANDING OUT
OF TAXPAYER FUNDS ?
CAN’T THEY BE USED FOR WHAT THEY WERE INTENDED ?
AND NOT NEW BAND UNIFORMS FOR MONTANA ?

___________________

on the  www.RIPRenfield.com website
there is a ‘map counter’…
(go to the site and click on it to see it full-sized)

They re-set it every June to ‘blank’…
So, as you can see, I’m doing pretty well
with the world-wide viewings…

BUT… I check it most every day
because 3 of my obscure hits never came back…
(the indian hawaii-an type islands I don’t count)
ALASKA,  ICELAND,  & MADAGASCAR

GOOD NEWS…
I finally got Alaska and Iceland back…
But they don’t love me anymore in Madagascar !!!

The (not just yet) BASTARDS !!!

_________________

the photographer just missed
anne hathaway’s face…

not very professional…

but we’ll let him slide on this one !!!

____________________

ON A LIGHTER NOTE…

A neighbor put up a new storm-screen door…
It’s a beauty… chic, elegant, with a full-length
glass (screen) with a sturdy frame…

I complimented the door,
but told them I’d never have a door like that…

When I wake up in the morning,
I like to open the front door (not the screen door),
check out the weather, let in (or out) the cats…
see what the situation with garbage collection is…

ALL THE WHILE STANDING THERE IN MY UNDERWEAR !!!
(I know… too much information)

I NEED A HALF-SCREEN IN THE DOOR
TO BLOCK MY BOTTOM HALF !!!

(the neighbors don’t need another reason to talk about me)

____________________

Half-screens ONLY go for me…
WOMEN ?   I DON’T CARE…

DID YA EVER NOTICE…

YOU CAN SEE MUCH MORE AT THE POOL, OR THE BEACH…
but see a glimpse of UNDERWEAR when you’re not supposed to…
and it’s front page news !!!

___________________

I always assumed that
ANTIQUES ROAD SHOW…
(the pbs tv series that ‘prices’ your treasures & junk)
made a few dollars by charging admission
to their convention sized get togethers…

MY WIFE SAID… FREE… SO.. GOOGLE !!!

It turns out it is free… sort of…
you get ‘chosen’ after applying for your city…
but then there is a black market for tickets…
TICKET OUTLETS, EBAY, ETC…
and would NOT(?) be unreason-able to pay $50 !

WORD OF CAUTION…
IF THE SOURCE OF YOUR ‘BOUGHT’ TICKET
IS FOUND OUT… THE TICKET IS INVALIDATED !!!

___________________

from antique treasures to…

another million dollar idea ?

a product…
everyone and his brother and cell phone
come equipped with cameras…

I was watching a tv commercial and a girl
was taking a photo with a Polaroid One-Step…

of course the film is no longer made…
making the camera useless, but a nice decoratioin…

but wouldn’t it strike a ‘retro-chord’ with some consumers
if they could buy a copy of the camera (or any ’special’ camera)
with digital capability contained in the unit ?

YOU COULD PUT OUT A LINE OF FAMOUS,
OR ODD, RETRO-LOOKING CAMERAS
THAT WORK WITH THE TECHNOLOGY OF THE DAY…
(sans film and developing costs)

IT MIGHT JUST CATCH ON…
(or at least be a temporary fad that’ll make us a few million)

____________________

SUMMER MAY BE COMING TO AN END…
OFFICIALLY SOON…
and I plan to take full advantage with a project of mine…

I’M GOING TO DEDICATE MYSELF
TO WINNING MAJOR MILLIONS IN THE LOTTERY !!!

I’m done fooling around…
I’M SERIOUS NOW !!!

IT’S TIME TO WIN & BE DONE WITH IT !!!

I’ll be see-ing you…

IT’S TIME TO ‘DIVINE’ THOSE GLORIOUS WINNING NUMBERS !!!

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
or email
RIPRenfield@aol.com

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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