†RIP Renfield #514 – Summertime BLUES †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

+++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger…
come visit, we can trade ‘adds’ as friend at…

www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

or for email subscriptions, or to contact me…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

**********************

† RIP Renfield #514 – Summertime BLUES  †
August 22, 2009

———————-

SUMMERTIME BLUES…

Not that my 2 weeks off were any good…
but going back to work looks just as bad…
(there have been changes in my absence)

I’M NOT IN ANY MOOD FOR FRIVOLITY…
So I’m just ‘forcing’ out this issue…

and then getting back to my doldrums…

OKAY… HERE GOES…

_________________________

R.I.P

Willy DeVille does his final stroll
Willy DeVille is dead. Pancreatic cancer. At age 58.

TOO TALENTED… TOO YOUNG…
but joining the 2009 class of the ’summer-of-death’ !!!

First with his band Mink DeVille and later on his own,
DeVille in his 35-year career created songs that are
wholly original yet rooted in traditional American musical styles.
DeVille worked with collaborators from
across the spectrum of contemporary music.

Mink DeVille was a house band, a fixture, at CBGB,
the historic New York City nightclub
where punk rock was born in the mid-1970s.

____________________

after all these years…

TOS-ed

I got a TOS (terms of service) warning from AOL !

MY CRIME ?
Subject:_ Image(s) displaying clearly outlined female genitalia
(nipples/anus/vagina) are not allowed on AOL.


Uh… you can see why I was suspicious…
AOL would have NO customers if they enforced that one !!!
(mr.hil suggested they copied a REAL TOS email)
In addition… the sender name, TOS ?
was in regular black text, not ‘BLUE’ like real AOL EM’s…
plus then they failed to use my real name,
only the ‘offending’ single screen name !

Of course, there was a link to follow…
YEAH, RIGHT
(even though ‘hovering’ showed it looking legit)

I googled an AOL customer service number
(got right thru)
and was told my insticts were probably right,
and to fwd. it to the real place.. TOSReports@aol.com

GOOD FRAUD THOUGH…
THAT CATCH-ALL ‘CRIME’ COVERS MOST PEOPLE
SO YOU MIGHT FALL FOR IT !!!
But why would AOL pick on me?
I’m one of the idiots that still pays monthly !!!
(because of RIP mostly, figuring them to be more lenient to payers)

___________________

I FOUND SOME GREAT BIRTHDAY CARDS…
(mother and nephew coming up in September)

I had to share this one for Mom…

front cover…

MOM,
I DON’T SAY IT ENOUGH
BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE
HOW YOU LOVE ME
AND CARE FOR ME
AND ALWAYS PUT MY NEEDS
BEFORE YOUR OWN.

inside the card ?

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I THINK IT’S JUST A
TERRIFIC ARRANGEMENT  !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY…

I’m not sure she’ll think it funny…
but hopefully enough people laugh at it
that she’ll go with the flow !!!

THIS YEAR’S GIFT ?
A dwarf cherry tree…
She’s first one at my house to pick my tree clean every year.
(after the birds, of course)

_______________________

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING…

WHY I BOUGHT ‘NOSE GLASSES’ ?

We were babysitting my nephew’s 2 year old,
I showed her some old pics of my daughter
when she was a baby…
and she got a big kick out of this one…

So I purchased 3 pair of ‘nose glasses’…
figuring to take a family pic of her and her parents…

After she agreed to take the pic (she’s a ‘poser’)
I brought the glasses out…
and she was TERRIFIED of them !!!

It’s going to take a while to get her to wear them…
or else I’m stuck with 3 pair of them !!!

(The DOCTOR WHO Sonic-Screwdriver she loves)

HER DAD IS GETTING THE X-RAY SPEX FOR HIS BIRTHDAY !

______________________

CAR INSURANCE COMMERCIALS…

I’m of the opinion that if you have to sell
something as important as car insurance
with ‘catchy’ commercials with
neanderthals, lizards, & supermarkets…

THERE MIGHT JUST BE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOUR PRODUCT !!!
(afterall, you ARE appealing to the ‘child-like’)

I’m surprised some in surance company
hasn’t used THIS advertising technique…

A MONO-COLORED  TV SCREEN…
and the following text…

INSTEAD OF WASTING MONEY
ON CUTE or CARTOON ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS,
WE DEDUCT THAT SAME MONEY
TO PROVIDE THE LOWEST RATES POSSIBLE !!!

with the company name prominently displayed…

Run that up the flag-pole…
I THINK IT WOULD ‘FLY’ !!!

_____________________

I saw this on a joke page & wondered…
(the short version, last meal of the day)

High Stress Diet

Midnight Night Snack:
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake
(eaten directly from the freezer)

IS THIS ONE OF THOSE COMMON DENOMINATORS
OF MOSTLY ALL PEOPLE ?
LATE NIGHT FROZEN FOOD EATING ?

WHO HASN’T EATEN THAT FROZEN ‘CAKE’
DIRECTLY FROM THE FREEZER LATE AT NIGHT ?

ANOTHER COMMON DENOMINATOR ?
Sometimes you’ll hear an actor say a word or phrase
in an interview (or appearance) that you used
as a child and thought a local slang…
BUT NOW REALIZE IT MUST BE NATION-WIDE !!!
(oh.. something like… “wait up…”)

__________________

ahhh… sweet youth !!!

(from classic RIP 2003)

________________________

MOUSE PROBLEMS ?

We’ve found some mouse droppings here & there…
so put out some mouse strips in a kitchen cupboard…
even though there’s only canned goods in there now…
we still manage to catch a field mouse or 2
every other day or so….

I did a google search to see if there was something
(besides arsenic) we could spread around our
crawl space to keep they away…

PEPPERMINT OIL SEEMS TO BE ONE OPTION…

but I also found this old greek woman’s method
for getting rid of mice…

RECIPE
one part sugar
two parts flour
three parts plaster powder

the sugar attracts them,
the flour makes them thirsty,
the plaster hardens inside them…
AND KILLS THEM !!!

HEY… YOU DON’T MESS AROUND
WITH OLD GREEK LADIES !!!

________________

ONE BIG REASON I’M SUCH A FAN OF KENT ?
He makes believe that my writing is worthwhile !!!
(and not the pile of crap I see it as)

The following graphic is an alteration of HIS graphic…
I forwarded him a copy for his approval…
and that wonderfully talented guy who treads with the famous…
goes and inserts a nice thank you for me & the world to see…
LET’S SEE.. ITEMS ABOUT (or from)…
PAUL McCARTNEY
NEIL DIAMOND
ELVIS
WIERD AL
JIMY ROGERS
a nice ‘thank you’ item for RIP RENFIELD
then back to..
THE MONKEES
THE ASSOCIATION…

WOW.. ME RIGHT IN THERE !!!
(you need me at the ‘KU-MI-TAY’ I’m there for ya kent)

http://forgottenhits60s.blogspot.com/

GO TAKE A LOOK AT FORGOTTEN HITS…
(They’re not fussy… They even allow ME to post with the famous)

REGARDLESS OF THE NEXT ITEM…
I KEEP A CONNECTION WITH THE PAST…
THOSE ‘FORGOTTEN’ HITS…

________________________

I’VE ENTERED THE DIGITAL AGE !!!
(finally)

My cable company finally FORCED me
to have the house additionally wired
for a strong enough signal to ‘feed’ the digital coverter boxes…
(In the last 20 years, I’ve run so much wire thru the house,
the signal degrades a bit too much for digital)…
I NEEDED A SERVICE CALL FROM AN INSTALLER !!!
(so I put it off)
But since the cable company was moving
mostly all channels to digital (leaving 2-20)
we really had no choice !!!

THE GOOD NEWS ?
I should have done it a year ago…
(I had the ‘wire plan’ all mapped out before he got here)
The charge was minimal for all the new installation !
(about $30?  even if it’s $50.. I got away with something)
I had them put in a 2nd ‘drop’ (a line from the telephone pole)…
this ‘drop’ only feeds 3 tv’s, leaving the other wire
that could theoretically be hooked up to another 9 tv’s intact !
We ignored ALL my other wiring and put in new…
STRONG SIGNALS ALL AROUND !!!
Come in from the outside to my basement…
and all the connections from down there…
(okay.. a few holes drilled to rooms above)

2 CONVERTER BOXES – NO CHARGE
(channels 2-99 plus another dozen or so above that)
SO I SPRANG FOR ONE FULL-SERVICE BOX
FOR MY WIFE’S VIEWING PLEASURE IN THE BEDROOM…
(she can get all the on-demands and pay channels)

SO WE DID GOOD AND BEAT THE DEADLINE
FOR LOSING CHANNELS ON ALL BUT THE
ONE FULL-SERVICE DIGITAL BOX WE DID HAVE !

THE INSTALLER CHECKED MY MODEM SPEED
WHILE HE WAS HERE…
TRY THIS LINK… TRY A NEARBY & FARAWAY RATE…

http://www.speakeasy.net/speedtest/

IT RATES YOU COMING & GOING !!!

OH… the only downside I currently see ?
Since I still uses VCR’s for the few shows
I want to make sure of see-ing…
I’m limited to taping from one-channel,
instead of being able to program multiple channels…
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE BOX
SET TO THE CHANNEL YOU WANT TO TAPE…
The channel choice comes from the ‘box’
not the internal tuner on the VCR.

___________

addendum…
the extra address-able digital box I got ?
It would only get the little-box channels..
and not the ‘fancier’ ones I wanted for my wife…
I called and they kept re-sending the signal…
saying their end showed it working…
I have a service call scheduled to straighten it out…
(worst case, I take it out and put in a mini-one)
but
THE MOTHER-FUCKERS !!!
When they re-set the signal…
I LOST MY 8 HBO’s !!!
I call and they tell me I wasn’t paying for it since November !
(I’m sure I was… they must have changed plan definitions)
((and raised prices))

If I had just gotten the ‘little’ box for the 3rd room,
instead of trying to do something nice for my wife…
(and it didn’t work out as planned anyway)
I’d still have my friggin’ HBO !!!

THE MOTHER-EFFIN BASTARDS !!!

LIKE ALWAYS…
I couldn’t leave well enough alone…
It’s not like there’s anything good on HBO anymore…
but I still lost something that was there 2 hours before !!!
(last movie the day before ?  an oldie, SPACE COWBOYS)

____________________

ADDENDUM to the ADDENDUM…

I STILL GOT IT !!!
(too bad not that many want it)

Pre-service visit, I got a phone call from some nice young lady
from cable installation… she thought she saw the problem,
and might be able to fix it from their end…
WE WERE ON THE PHONE ABOUT 20 MINUTES…
I GAVE HER THE MAJOR ‘SCHMOOZE’…
including losing the HBO and jokingly(?) asking
for it to be turned back on (wink, wink)…

LAST THING SHE SAID TO ME WAS…
” I’M GOING TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU…”

AND THE OBJECT OF MY AGGRAVATION
WAS TAKEN CARE OF…

HBO IS BACK !!!  AND ON BOTH TV’S !!!

________________

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC
and be sure to
PLAY THE WEEKLY 2-FER…
NAME THAT TUNE QUIZ !!!

formerly…. MYSTERY LYRICS !!!
dave, the exiled !!!

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

or dave’s…

http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

A GREAT PLACE TO MEET
FOR LIKE-MINDED INDIVIDUALS

___________________

SEE WHAT I MEAN
ABOUT ‘54′ SHOWING UP… ALOT
AND IN PROMINENT PLACES ?

Re: HUDSON RIVER HELICOPTER-PLANE CRASH

…instructed the airplane pilot to change his radio frequency
and contact the control tower at Newark Liberty International Airport
less than 54 seconds before the crash.

or the monthly rent for the hot dog concession
at the MET in NYC… $54,000 per month !!!

Survivors, victims, million of dollars.. etc…
54 shows up way too many times !!!

__________________

OKAY… EVEN THOUGH A SHORT-ISH ISSUE…
RIP will probably be much shorter next week…
I’m not inspired, or energetic enough, to find, or write, items…
(and I’ve used up almost all of my reserve)
I’ve really had a tough time this past week…
Work, family, health, finances… everybody’s pulling at me…
(but I’ll manage something, somehow…)

It’s back to work on Monday…
i hear it’s hell-and-a-half since I left…
And after the horrible 2nd week to my vacation…
I’m only sorry that the ‘tinderbox’ that is work
won’t be a place I can hide from my ‘home’ problems…
and use that as a blissful(?), temporary getaway…

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS…
(and this feels like Hurricane Katrina)

I REALLY need a vacation now…
ANOTHER ONE…
like one that is comatose,
or where I have amnesia…

I’M GOING NOW…
MAYBE A NAP…
(I can still hide there)

EVEN THE SUN IS SAD FOR ME…
(and I STILL didn’t win that damn lottery)

____________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

*******************************

OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
or email
RIPRenfield@aol.com

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

+++++++++++++++++++++