† RIP Renfield #500 – 500th ISSUE !!! †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger…
come visit, we can trade ‘adds’ as friend at…

www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

or for email subscriptions, or to contact me…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #500 -    500th ISSUE !!! †
May 16 th, 2009

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This 500th ISSUE Anniversary
is one of the biggest things
  to happen to me in a long, long time…

IT’S QUITE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME !!!
DEDICATION & STAYING POWER
FOR A DECADE !!!

Oh yeah… May 15th is my wedding anniversary too…
BUT I SHOULD GET BACK TO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS…

BACK TO NUMBER 500…

WOW !!!

 CONGRATS TO ME !!!

500 issues !!!
Who’da thunk it ?

but like Sinatra sang…
I DID IT MY WAY…
(only his was was more successful)

GO AHEAD & CELEBRATE ANYWAY !!!

(the cigar is good practice for her)

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500th ISSUE ?

HARD TO FIND SOMETHING SPECIAL
TO RIP TRIBUTE IN THE 500 YEAR OLD RANGE…
Even so…
Renfield takes you to Australia
(I HAD TO ‘DIG’ FOR THIS ONE)

R.I.P

Felled old-growth tree
 ’500 years old’
A Victorian environment group has radiocarbon-tested
 a felled old-growth eucalypt and the result suggests
 the giant gum was at least 500 years old.

The battle to save the old-growth forests of
 Brown Mountain in Victoria’s far east
has been waged by environmentalists since 1989.

www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/02/2532783.htm

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RIP Renfield…
along-side another of the greats…

 MAD  MAGAZINE !!!

…has photographed a portrait made of MAD magazine mascot
 Alfred E. Neuman’s head using junk mail CDs and DVDs
& sent it to the magazine, a feat that landed him in the magazine’s
 500th issue, published in April.

A MONTH APART WE OVERLAP !!!
500 ISSUES
FOR EACH OF US !!!

WILL MAD MAGAZINE OUTLAST ME ?

Renfield says…
” WHAT ?   ME WORRY ? “

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The congratulations keep on coming…

—

__________________

I HAD A FEW COMPLAINTS
ABOUT LAST WEEK’S ISSUE…

I’ve given you readers PLENTY of nudity
over the years…
But .. GEEZ… MOTHERS DAY ?
Complaining that I went ‘classy’ that one day ?

COMING SOON…
for the men… naked women
for the women… naked men
and also a crowd pleaser (double duty pics)
for the women… WOMEN !

OKAY… A TASTE…

____________________
 
 

I never imagined the ’sense’
I would find in accusations by Fidel Castro…
but…

Castro is angry at Mexico for the swine flu.
(its now made it to Cuba)
He postulates that the Mexican gov’t delayed
informing the rest of the world about the disease,
because of the upcoming visit by President Obama !
WITH CITIZENS & TOURISTS SPREADING THE FLU
WITHOUT THE LATER PRECAUTIONS & RESTRICTIONS !

THEY KEPT IT QUIET UNTIL AFTER
THE PRESTIGIOUS VISIT & PHOTO OP !!!

It doesn’t seem im-probably,
and I haven’t heard anyone else question or suggest it…
I WONDER WHY ?

ON ANOTHER FRONT…
British researchers have concluded
that the flu may be a ’sleeping giant’…
In the next 6-9 months, one-in-three could be infected !
THEY MADE NO PREDICTION OF POSSIBLE FATALITIES !

Yesterday’s news?
I SURE HOPE SO & THE ‘EXPERTS’ ARE WRONG !!!

________________

people suck…

The annual White House Correspondents Assoc. dinner ?
The DINNER-ROAST for ‘insiders’, not the public  ?
THE TRADITIONAL ONE THAT’S GONE ON FOREVER ?
The one that used to be a let-your-hair-down,
no holds-barred, PRIVATE ‘joke-fest’ for ADULTS ?

IT (or individuals) ARE BEING ACCUSED OF…
BAD  TASTE  !!!

Uh… isn’t that the key ingredient in a ‘ROAST’ ?
I’ve noticed they never broadcast them in prime time…
Isn’t it MORE insulting to NOT be skewered ?
Doesn’t it show another side of politicians,
and human-ize them  ?

IT SEEMS THE PROBLEM ISN’T WITH THE AFFAIR,
OR THE ONES BEING ROASTED…

THE PROBLEM IS THE ONCE ‘PRIVATE’ AFFAIR
IS NOW ‘BROADCAST’ TO IDIOTS !!!

MAKE IT PRIVATE AGAIN…
IGNORANCE IS BLISS !!!

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TO CELEBRATE MY LONGEVITY….
and spread the fame of the “RENFIELD” name…

I sent a ‘real’ letter
to a muckety-muck from
the writing team for the battery of shows
made for the LAW & ORDER franchises…

It was something I had always meant to do
with Isaac Asimov, but he died on me…
(Loved him, I read his entire fiction catalog)

TIME WILL TELL IF MY NEWEST LETTER
GETS FARTHER THAN THE TRASH BARREL…

Briefly complimentary, I then ‘offered’ them
the use of my (writing) name…
GARY RENFIELD
as a character (good or evil) on one of their shows…
They DO have PLENTY of shows & PLENTY of characters.
(isn’t THAT an invitation to use me as a ‘kid-touching’ murderer?)

I pointed out that the name is generically, ethnically neutral…
and that web searches show I’m the only one using that name…
I’VE KEPT THE NAME ‘CLEAN-AS-SNOW’…
They HAVE to name characters anyway…
AND IT WOULD GIVE ME A THRILL !!!

The use of the name would probably be years away…
but ya never know…
IT MIGHT JUST ‘CLICK’ IF THE REQUEST
GETS TO THE RIGHT PERSON !!!
(even if just teaching me a lesson, a joke using me as ‘evil’)

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I PROMISED POST-MOTHER’S-DAY NUDITY…

HERE IT IS…

I think that’s YOUR mother on the right !!!

The one on the left is ‘innocent’ MISS CALIFORNIA’s mom…
(and YES… it’s ‘officially’ SEMI-nude!!!)

______________________

At Mother’s Day dinner…
the conversation turned to the son of a friend
who was attending college and going on to grad school
at a very prestigious & EXPENSIVE Ivy League School…

ASKED HOW HE COULD AFFORD IT ?
Seems that many (all?) colleges offer
a largely discounted tuition, or even FREE
for people WITH cancer, or those being treated for it…

THAT EXPLAINED IT !!!

SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE LUCK !!!

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BY THE WAY…
I’VE HEARD IT SAID THAT IVY LEAGUE
referred to the original 4 schools…
and the i – v REFERS TO THE ROMAN NUMERALS..

I   &   V     or    IV = 4 (schools)

 ______________________

I know… I know…
I DON’T SEEM TO BE THE TYPE
TO BE INVOLVED WITH
DATE RAPE DRUGS…

But… It’s HAPPENED !!!

I meet a girl in a club,
take her back to MY place for some action…
Drinks are served…
and by the time I wake up from the date-rape drug
she put in MY drink…
SHE’S  MADE  HER  ESCAPE  &  IS  GONE  !!!

Is it my breath?
Oh.. and has anyone seen my wallet ?
I SEEM TO HAVE MIS-PLACED IT …

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speaking of AWKWARD FAMILY photos…

I haven’t been big on ‘links’
since I eliminated the LINKS SECTION
of RIP Renfield years ago…

BUT THIS ONE IS WORTH CHECKING OUT…

(mentioned on the RON & FEZ – XM-SIRIUS SHOW)

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

an example..?

one more link…

THE ‘KID BUSINESS’ & HANGING OUT
looks alot better to mall owners NOW !!!
Now that the malls are empty, closing…
and would love to look ‘happening’ again !

IS IT THE END OF MALLS IN AMERICA ?

The END earned it’s own ‘increasing’ website…

http://www.deadmalls.com/

____________________

I was just watching Youtube videos
of DAVID BOWIE doing songs from

(The Rise & Fall of…)
ZIGGY STARDUST & THE SPIDERS FROM MARS

THOSE WERE THE DAYS…
Music was exciting…
(and not a reality show)

NO.. NOT THAT ZIGGY, THE OTHER ONE…

YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT…
new to you? you’re in for a treat…
old? a treat plus the memories…

including…
FIVE YEARS
STARMAN
LADY STARDUST
ZIGGY STARDUST
SUFFRAGETTE CITY
 ROCK ‘N’ ROLL SUICIDE

GREAT STUFF !!!
WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU MA’AM !!!

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MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC
and be sure to
PLAY THE WEEKLY 2-FER…
NAME THAT TUNE QUIZ !!!

formerly…. MYSTERY LYRICS !!!
  dave, the exiled !!!

http://en.davidscott.de/
GO TO THE SOURCE, FOLLOW THE LINK

or dave’s…

http://www.TotalOldies.ning.com

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TRAUMAS OF LIFE…

DEATH
DIVORCE
SUBSTANCE ABUSE
MOVING
   COLONOSCOPY…

Ouch… I’ll stop there….
Actually… if you’ve gone thru the others…
the colonoscopy is probably the pick-of-the-litter…

OH… ONE MORE TRAUMA…

A READER STRUGGLING THRU
  ANOTHER ISSUE OF RIP Renfield !!!

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A TEMPORARY ‘TRAUMA’ FOR ME…

A short period of relief from the rain…
some nicer weather… the trees making ‘babies’…
and the next thing you know… you wake up
and a green ‘powder’ is on all outside surfaces…

I’ve had minor allergies in years past…
but this was insane !!!
I THOUGHT I HAD A COLD !!!
But then I heard other people in distress…
and a short time inside in an air conditioned office…
and the sympthoms went away TOO quickly…

YEP… ALLERGIES…
Hopefully it’ll be my usual..
a few weeks now, a few in September !

(BUT I STILL MANAGED A STELLAR ISSUE)

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WELL… I’M DONE FOR NOW…
(lie down, have a drink)

AND GETTING READY
FOR THE  NEXT  500 ISSUES !!!
(okay… you might need a pill to dull the pain)

IN THE MEANTIME…

‘PROCLAIM’ 500 RIP ISSUES TO THE WORLD…

and who better…
(look below)

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
and also featured at…
www.MysteryLyrics.info
and make sure to ’surf’ the site…
follow the links and explore… lots of good stuff…
or visit me at…
www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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