†RIP Renfield #477 – KWANZAA TIME †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger…
come visit, we can trade ‘adds’ as friend at…

www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

or for email subscriptions, or to contact me…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #477 - KWANZAA TIME †
December  6th, 2008

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Okay… there was a bit of a logistical problem…
but since I’m the ‘chief-bottle-washer’ around here…
We are tributing KWANZAA this week in RIP Renfield !
A bit early… but to keep Christmas on schedule…
we have to do Kwanzaa now… then Hanukkah next week…

and then the traditional CHRISTMAS ISSUE !!!
(then New Years… Winter… Martin Luther King Jr., etc.)
If nothing else, I’M FAIR !!!

SO… DO WHATEVER YOU KWANZAA-ERS DO…
PERSONALLY, I’LL BE WAITING FOR CHRISTMAS !!!

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In a moment of weakness & self-loathing,
(mainly because of my well under-a-thousand readers,
instead of my 10,000 readers)…

I TOYED WITH THE IDEA OF CHUCKING THE WHOLE THING…
AND CALLING IT QUITS FOR RIP Renfield !!!
YEP… THE END OF MY WEEKLY OPUS !!!

I’VE  POURED MY HEART-AND-SOUL INTO THIS SHIT
EVERY WEEK… FOR 10 YEARS !!!
and what do I have to show for it ?
(actually, except for money, I do okay in that area)

but I snapped-out-of-it when I realized
how much RIP Renfield merchandise
I would be stuck with…
and the senseless-ness created from
the merchandise already out there in the world…

HEY… MY STUFF IS PRETTY EFFIN’ COOL !!!

(it’s your loss if you’re not on the ‘inside’)

______________________

some more cool stuff….

R.I.P
Betty James

She helped create the popular Slinky toy,
and is known for co-founding the James Spring & Wire Company
with her husband Richard. She took over the company in 1945
after Richard left her and their six children for Bolivia
to join a religious cult. Before he left, they invented the Slinky.

The toy soon became a classic
and was the reason James was inducted
into the Toy Industry Hall of Fame in 2001.
Hundreds of millions of Slinkys have been sold worldwide.

http://www.slinkyprint.com/slinky_e-news.htm

HEAR THE SONG & SEE IT IN ACTION…

_____________________

POLITICS -
‘now back to our regular program’…

“At a press conference,
Barack Obama said that the economy is likely to get worse.
After hearing this, John McCain said,
‘That’s funny — he didn’t mention that during the campaign.’”
– Conan O’Brien

__________________

The DEFINITION of POLITICS…
(will it ever change?)

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it whether it exists or not,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedy.
– Ernest Benn

AMEN !!!

____________

I AM TOTALLY MYSTIFIED
BY GAS (petrol) PRICES AROUND HERE…

If they had dropped to the $2 per gallon level
and stayed there… we’d all be thrilled !!!

But for the price to continue to decline ?
($1.49 last time I looked)
THERE JUST HAS TO BE MORE THAN JUST
SUPPLY & DEMAND… AND ECONOMY WOES !

COULD WE POSSIBLY HAVE CONSERVED
OURSELVES INTO A GLUT ?
(I doubt it)

We’d be willing to pay more than the going rate…
and at the current price…
HOW MUCH CAN A STATION OPERATOR BE MAKING ?

WHO IS PULLING THE STRINGS ?
AND WHY ?
SOMETHING IS GOING ON !!!

_________________________

WELL WHETHER, OR NOT,
GAS PRICES STAY LOW…

I’m thinking that this year for Christmas…
I WANT A ‘HUMMER’…

NO… NOT THAT KIND…

A ‘HUMMER’ (wink,wink) !!!

Say… “Ahhhhhhhh…”

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RAMSEY’S MOUTH (kitchen) ?
I was wondering how OTHER television performers manage..?
Ramsey seems to have NO control over using profanity on-air…
not just lashing out angrily, or in frustration…
but using ‘trigger’ words that are knowingly not allowed…
and therefore ‘beeped’… (at least in the US)

TEMPERAMENTAL?    AN ARTIST ?
EAT ME… HE’S NOT THE FIRST PRIMA-DONNA
THAT EVER APPEARED ON TELEVISION !!!

Part of his ‘charm’?
I’m not a fan anyway… but you’d think
the ones he appeals too would have more of a problem…

(and I have no problem with the actual language…
it just seems so ‘fake’, & for effect, as to be ridiculous)

(like John McEnroe’s ‘mechanical’ barbs on the tennis court)

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I was flipping channels and some VH1 show
caught my eye and made me stop…
2 (older) teen girls on a bed ‘making-out’…
and rolling all over each other…
and just having a good time…

and I must admit…
I  WAS  INTERESTED  !!!
and I think I figured out why…

MY THEORY IS THAT…
GUYS ARE BASICALLY LESBIANS WITH DICKS !!!

THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL !!!
(for hetero-sexuals anyway)

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GEEZ… WAS I DISAPPOINTED !!!

I sat down last saturday night to watch
this porno movie I saw in the TV listings…

LOIS GIBBS AND THE LOVE CANAL !!!

It sounded like it had promise!

Turned out to be about the woman who took up
the clean-up fight for a toxic waste dump
poisoning the local families (ignored by the gov’t) !!!

IT’S ACTUALLY AN INTERESTING READ…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Canal

The chemical company that owned the land
was ‘forced’ to sell it for public developement…
they resisted, warned, were honest…
and even wrote it in the sales contract ($1)
to limit their liability when the ’shit’ hit the fan!
(as the chemical company knew it would)

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MYSTERY LYRICS -  the SITE !!!
or to play the daily game… just register at the link…
(take advantage of the site’s OTHER gems)

www.MysteryLyrics.info
TEST YOUR MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE….

CARO  IS WORTH CHECKING OUT…

http://www.caro-fans.com/
(info, audio, & video)

Caro has signed to CDBaby,
the Oregon based independent CD and mp3 distributors.
This will make her album “Eternity” available
to the American market at last.

Eternity was released in Germany to critical acclaim,
but has yet to find its way into the international market.
With signing up to CDBaby, the road is now open.

http://www.cdbaby.com/caromusic
YOU can listen to, and/or buy, at CDBABY !!!

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It’s a rare thing
to agree with anything Iran does…
but…

Some a-hole threw acid in a young woman’s face
for spurning his advances in 2004…
She was sent out of country to reconstruct her face…
but she was permanently blinded !!!

Still fearful… and in the dark…
the woman’s life is ruined !!!

BUT…
SO WILL HER ATTACKER’S !!!
The ‘un-civilized’ court has ruled the perpetrator
be BLINDED also (with acid) as part of HIS punishment !!!

It might be carrying… “an-eye-for-an-eye” a little far…
and nothing a western nation would ever do…
I’m sure if punishment was left to victims & their families…
The punishment isn’t enough !!!

IF THIS KIND OF JUSTICE
WAS METED OUT MORE..
The next a-hole would think twice, or 3 times !!!

____________________

here’s our idea of justice…
spinning-our-wheels on the way to nowhere…

walmart stampede…
I heard that the authorities are looking at
security video tapes to find people to charge with a crime
in the case of the dead store employee trampled by
a huge surge of the mob of Black Friday shoppers…

ARE THEY KIDDING ?
They only one at fault is Walmart !!!
I was reminded of the WHO concert years ago
where the fans were killed by the ‘push’ of the crowd…
It was wall-to-wall people trying to push closer…
In the middle of the crowd, you could have literally
lifted your feet off the ground and still be moved along !

Unless someone hit the poor guy with a brick…
the people in front DIDN’T have the option
of holding up the crowd behind them to help
those that had fallen to the ground…
IT WAS AN EVERY-MAN-FOR-HIMSELF SITUATION !

EVEN THE COPS WERE ‘JOSTLED’…
I really don’t think people were going out of their way
to push-into police officers near a downed man !
THEY MADE A CHOICE TO BUMP COPS ?

A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE OCCURENCE…
BUT THE ONLY LEGAL ACTION
SHOULD BE AGAINST THE STORE…
and only if it can be proved that it was fore-see-able (yes),
and that the store didn’t take proper precautions (yes) !!!

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THE TERRORIST SLAUGHTER IN INDIA ?

I really don’t know what to say… except…

REST IN PEACE

and that the animals that contributed to this sin,
should be hunted down like the dogs they are,
and then have the families of the victims choose their fate !
and if some organization sponsored or cheered the action…
THEY SHOULD BE OBLITERATED
FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH !

(should I tell you how I really feel?)

and I’m hoping that the ‘hunters’
are much less ‘civilized’ and politically correct
than we pretend to be !!!
(take a lesson from Iran?)
Like a child being bullied in school,
you have to make it too much trouble to fuck with you !!!

NOW THAT TAKES CARE OF A PROBLEM !!!

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I COULDN’T WAIT TILL XMAS…
I am SO proud of my daughter,
going out in this economy,
and selling-her skills to a national company
that wasn’t currently looking for a new hire…
and basically ‘nailing’ a career position…
(or good experience if it doesn’t work out)
that I wanted to get her a little keepsake
(until she can afford the real thing)
to mark the occasion…

(for sizing -  it’s a matchbox die-cast car)

PERHAPS IT WAS MY INFLUENCE ?
(growing up in a RIP Renfield home?)

BUT SHE IS AN ENTHUSIASTIC EMPLOYEE
OF THE MANAGEMENT COMPANY
THAT LOCALLY HANDLES 3 LARGE CEMETERIES !!!

GO OUT THERE AND KILL’EM SOOZ !!!

(I told her to not mention the RIP Renfield stuff at work)

________________________

I noticed that we needed salt the other day…
Next time in a store I went to buy a container…
I noticed that ALL the salt brands this place had
were of the non-iodized variety…

DID THEY DECIDE INGESTED IODINE
IS A HEALTH CONCERN WHEN I WASN’T WATCHING?

There was a time when iodine deficiency
was the health problem !
Are there that many people with thyroid problems,
ala peanut allergy people,
that EVERYONE has to do without ?

MAYBE I JUST CAUGHT THAT STORE ON A BAD DAY !

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Featuring history, updates & present day reviews
of songs & artists that you just don’t hear anymore !
(and special original music series as well)
Sound interesting???
You can now read great stories, and add comments… at…
http://www.forgottenhits.com/
and get on the mailing list !!!
forgottenhits@aol.com
AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO ADD YOUR COMMENTS
TO THOSE OF THE FAMOUS & IN-FAMOUS !!!

_____________________

THIS WHOLE MADONNA MESS ?
(and she IS a mess)

Spending countless hours in the gym
trying to retain her youth while ignoring a husband…

The old…
I already have him, I’m bored,
so now I can move on to other ‘personal’ projects..?

Now snapping up a younger man…
a celebrity in his own right…
IS SHE TRYING TO BE MORE OF AN ‘ATTENTION’ WHORE ?
(she’s always had half of that ‘down’)

THE PART MADONNA HASN’T FIGURED OUT YET ?

SHE’S OLD !!!
She can spend 20 hours a day in the gym and look decent…
BUT SHE’S OLD !!!
She can overdose on beauty regimens…
BUT SHE’S OLD !!!
Even if the ’shell’ is in perfect condition…
THE ‘INSIDE’ IS OLD !!!

She’s a long-ago teen’s (A-rod) wet dream…
and now he can ‘ride’ his old fantasy…

And in another few years…
she’ll look as good as CHER does !!!

______________________

Giants football player Plaxico Burress
accidentally shot himself in the leg at a club at 2am.
(He had the gun in case he had to shoot someone that night)
Who goes out to a club without a pistol ?
Burress spent the night at a
Manhattan hospital with the self-inflicted wound.
A good thing he ONLY shot himself !

There is no such thing as a gun carry permit for
(non-police or non-licensed-security)
private citiznes in NYC.  Even if you just drive through the city,
you have to stop outside the city limits, unload & lock
your gun in a lock box in your trunk,
and are not permitted to remove it until leaving city limits.

PRIVATE CITIZENS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE GUNS !

THAT LEAVES THUGS & CRIMINALS !!!
or even MORE dangerous… a ‘Wanna-Be’…
OR A POSER !!!

HE’S FACING A MINIMUM OF 3+ YEARS ON GUN CHARGES !!!
(just having and discharging one)

I HOPE THEY THROW-THE-BOOK AT HIM !!!
Might teach the other ‘animals’ some manners !
Don’t get me wrong… in the case of a home invasion..
legal or not.. I’m with the homeowner (shoot the bastard) !
The ‘move’ would be to avoid a ’social’ location
where you feel a firearm is a necessity !
BUT, if you absolutely have to be there…
(and you have a bit of fame & money)
HIRE A BODYGUARD !!!

OTHERWISE,
YOU MAY BE SHARING A CELL WITH MICHAEL VICK…

______________________

I heard something very cool
on a tv drama the other day…

Marvelling at the colors of fish in the Baltimore Aquarium…
colors man would ‘never’ conceive of…
the comment was made that we ALL came from the sea…
and wasn’t it amazing that the percentage of salt
in sea water, was the same as that in humans !!!

I THOUGHT THAT WAS EXTRA-ORDINARILY COOL !!!
but in doing my best to confirm it online…
I CAME UP SHORT !
I easily found that salt water contains 3.5% salt…
Finding the human percentage wasn’t so easy…
Blood-wise… humans have only 0.9% salt…

I’m wondering if the original premise includes
the non-liquid parts of the body too ?
PERHAPS IT’S NOT AS BIG A DIFFERENCE !

WOULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN A MIND-BLOWER
IF THE NUMBERS WERE THE SAME ?

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the  FOREVER POSTAGE STAMP…

When the Post Office comes out with a unique stamp,
a collectible one, they are purchased and saved,
and after the cost of the stamp…
IS ALL (cha-ching) PROFIT !!!
That’s why they promote the collecting of ‘nothing’stamps !
(just so you have the entire set of whatever)

I’VE COME UP WITH A COUPLE OF IDEAS
THAT I THINK ARE GREAT MONEY-MAKERS FOR THEM…

Since the introduction of the ‘FOREVER’ STAMP…
one that keeps it’s mailing power, no matter what increase
in postage price there is in the future…
I’VE ONLY SEEN GENERIC ‘FOREVER’ STAMPS !

HOW ABOUT BRANCHING OUT ?

Can you see the demand for  FOREVER ELVIS stamps ?

or how about  FOREVER FRANKIE (Sinatra) stamps ?

and that’s just for starters…
Space out the release of the ’special’ FOREVER STAMPS,
and there is a fortune to be made !!!
(after licensing payments to the estates)

STAMPS LIKE THAT WOULD BE A GLOBAL PHENOMENOM !
You know some idiot is going to wallpaper a room with them…
NEVER USED ?  MORE PROFIT !

________________

Them having done a similar topic… a Sophie’s Choice
between HEALTH & GLOBAL WARMING…
I offered the show the following ‘choice’ topic
RON & FEZ SHOW – XM SATELLITE RADIO
(noon-to-three weekdays)

that was later filmed and included in a trilogy
of black science fiction authored stories called
COSMIC SLOP

A black-activist jack-of-all-trades intellectual…
DERRICK BELL… wrote a short story called… SPACE TRADERS

In a nutshell… the story concerned an alien visitation.
With no intent to colonize or conquer… just leave forever…
they offered to purifty our planet from pollution,
and provide technology & endless ‘clean’ energy sources…
basically providing a ‘golden age’ for the planet !
THEY WILL THEN LEAVE, NEVER TO RETURN !

THEIR PRICE ?
Earth had to turn over ALL the human inhabitants
whose skin color was darker than a brown paper bag.
This would lead to breakups of families… make-up didn’t work.
(you could not hide till they left.. there is no trick to get out of it)

Perhaps they were going to a better life,
but it was never said… the opposite was implied, not confirmed !

IN MY CHOICE… I ALTERED THE ‘PRICE’…
An end to disease, endless ‘clean’ energy,
no more global warming, & shared, futuristic technology !
A REGULAR GARDEN-OF-EDEN

but instead of asking for the dark-skinned people,
they wanted an entire race instead…
ONE OF OUR CHOICE…
A RANDOM SPIN OF THE WHEEL-OF-FORTUNE
It could be…

WHITE
BLACK
HISPANIC
JAPANESE-CHINESE
INDIAN
MIDDLE EASTERN (jewish & arab)

and if I missed someone I aplogize…
(every non-mentioned resident will be assigned a group)

YOU MAY BE GOING TO A BETTER PLACE,
YOU MAY BE GOING TO A LIVING HELL…
(or on the menu)
YOU WILL NOT KNOW AHEAD OF TIME !!!

THE CHOICE WOULD BE RANDOM
THEIR IS NO CHEATING IN THE CHOICE !

EARTH WILL GET A ‘FRESH’ START …
IS IT WORTH THE GAMBLE…?
IS IT VALUE TO THE WORLD WORTH THE SACRIFICE ?

THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE A WORLD-WIDE REFERENDUM…
WOULD YOU VOTE TO TAKE THE CHANCE ?
(for the sake of the planet & the rest of the human race?)
COULD YOU LIVE WITH THE GUILT ?
Would there be guilt in future generations ?

IT’S ONLY A 1-in-6 CHANCE OF GOING…
IT’S PROBABLY WORTH IT AT MANY LEVELS…
BUT COULD YOU VOTE FOR IT ?

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WELL…
TIME TO BURN DOWN THE HUT…
er.. I mean.. end the KWANZAA ISSUE of RIP…

I don’t know how it happened…
but this issue kinda breaks the RENFIELD tradition
by making it an all-encompassing, newsy,
entertaining issue…

ME?   BE ENTERTAINING ?
IT COULD CATCH ON !!!

I HAVE TO GO…
MY RIDE (elephant) IS HERE !!!

(you can’t see me.. but I’m shaking my spear… good-bye)

_______________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
and also featured at…
www.MysteryLyrics.info
and make sure to ’surf’ the site…
follow the links and explore… lots of good stuff…
or visit me at…
www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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