† RIP Renfield #458 – Shakin’ & (De-) Bakin’ †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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Don’t be a stranger…
come visit, we can trade ‘adds’ as friend at…

www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

or for email subscriptions, or to contact me…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #458 – Shakin’ & (De-) Bakin’ †
July 26th, 2008

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Hmmm.. comparing the above ’summertime’ banner
to the one used last week…
you may notice that ‘more’ of the girl can be seen…
I have a final banner in this trilogy for next week…

I’LL LEAVE IT TO YOUR IMAGINATIONS FOR NOW !!!

_________________

R.I.P
Dr. Michael DeBakey

Heart-Surgery Pioneer and Inventor

DeBakey, developed heart-bypass procedures that improved
the lives of millions of patients and prolonged life for others.

During 7 decades, his advances helped prevent heart attacks
and strokes as he developed surgical methods that later
became widespread. He also designed dozens of medical devices,
such as the heart pump, and trained thousands of surgeons.

It can easily be argued that no other figure in history
has had such a widespread impact on advances in the field.
The Journal of the American Medical Association called DeBakey
the “Father of Modern Cardiovascular Surgery.”

___________________

WHAT ARE THE PRIORITIES IN NEW JERSEY ?
The Governor wants to RIP your HEART out !!!

I’ve just heard on the news of a new plan under consideration…
They want to take the NJ Turnpike (a public toll road)…
and ’sell’ an express lane to a private company !!!
Allowing them to maintain it and charge ‘extra’ fees,
so that the ‘rich’ can zip along much faster than those
that can’t afford ‘premium’ prices to get to their destinations !!!

THAT IS BULLSHIT !!!
and the worst kind of preferential, discriminatory treatment !!!
SCREWED AGAIN !!!
(I still haven’t ‘bought-into’ an EZ PASS ’sensor’ to pay tolls)

That’s what you get with a billionaire governor…
HE HAS NO CLUE ABOUT REAL PEOPLE…
ABOUT ‘SCROUNGING’ TO LIVE !!!

SHAME ON HIM IF HE’S NOT TOTALLY AGAINST IT…
THE BASTARD !!!

______________________

I was watching an episode of Hogan’s Heroes
(the WW2 prison camp comedy)

a mention was made of the ‘famous’ attempt on Hitler’s life…
and it got me to thinking…

IF they assasination of Hitler had been successful,
The generals that were involved could have easily
‘brokered’ a peace with the world…

An end to hostilities, some fancy negotiations
from a war weary world ?
Perhaps ‘keep’ some of the plundered countries
(finally, an empire?)
eliminate concentration camps,
procecute war criminals,
rebuild the country (on the world’s dollar),
allow anyone who wanted to emigrate to wherever… etc.
THE GOOD GUYS OF GERMANY TAKING OVER !

IMAGINE THE ‘FACE’ OF THE WORLD
IF THAT HAD HAPPENED !!!

A united Germany could have kept ALL those scientists,
rebuilt their country, and have been THE power
to reckon with a few short decades later !!!

THEY COULD HAVE GONE OPPOSITE
TO THE NAZI GOALS & BELIEFS…
and built a ‘golden’ age that the entire world
would have embraced !!!

It must have been the wrong ‘destiny’…
BECAUSE HERE WE ARE !!!

AND EVEN THOUGH GERMANY IS DOING FINE TODAY,
THEY STILL FIGHT THE ‘GHOSTS’ OF THE PAST !!!

It’s quite illegal to do ANYTHING ‘Nazi’…
I’m surprised Mdm. Tussaud’s was allowed
a Hitler wax DUMMY there at all…
(IN THE NEWS BECAUSE OF THE BEHEADING OF HITLER
BY AN OVERLY ZEALOUS MUSEUM VISITOR !)

THE WAX DUMMY HAS NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM IN LONDON,
YOU CAN WALK RIGHT UP TO THE ‘DUMMIES’… (pic from 1993)

(we got ones with Guy Fawkes & Ghandi too)

With great difficulty,
I was able to locate a very rare baby photo of Hitler too…

___________________

QUOTES OF NOTE…

There is no gravity.
The earth sucks.
- Graf Fito

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits
with my net income.
– Errol Flynn

A marriage is always made up
of two people who are prepared to swear
that only the other one snores.
– Terry Pratchett

_______________________

AN ITEM THAT CAUGHT MY EYE…
FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH…

Leonid Tarkov, of the weather observation center FOBOS,
told CNN that he believes the surge in (deadly) lightning strikes
in Russia may be connected to the increased use of
portable electronic technology,
such as cellular phones or music players.
(there have also been an unusual number of storms)

One victim on a beach was talking on a cell phone,
and the phone was found melted in her hand.
(also with cell phone, a boy on a bike, and a farmer in a field, etc.)

“These things are electro-magnetic field carriers,” he said. ”
That makes them, in essence, conductors.
Thunderbolts are frequently attracted to such things,
and hits are often connected with a lethal outcome.”

The idea that lightning can follow the weak
electro-magnetic fields of such devices is rejected
by virtually all scientists, although there is evidence
that a lightning strike is more likely to be fatal
for a person carrying any object with metal in it.

THE ‘DEVICE’ ATTRACTING LIGHTNING
REALLY DOESN’T SOUND THAT CRAZY…

Lightning supposedly goes for the highest point (primary target)
(like a person in a field or on a beach),
metal & electronics ‘may’ be a secondary target for lightning!!!

AND THERE HAS BEEN A LARGE NUMBER
OF DEADLY LIGHTNING STRIKES IN THE USA TOO !!!
What’s the deal with that ?

A SIDEBAR..?
I still think, in the years to come, there WILL be
health consequences to ‘over-use’ of cell phones…

__________________

ANOTHER (cheap) SELF-PROMOTION…

I’ve heard that Ron Bennington of XM Satellite Radio
(RON & FEZ – ch.202 noon-to-3)
has a GOOGLE ALERT set up to ’snare’ RON & FEZ ‘net’ mentions.
I know he’s heard of, and seen, RIP…
but I’m hoping he at least ’scanned’ this far to see HIS name !!!
(not at the end of the issue like last week, just to throw him off)

(HEY RON… THE CIGARS ARE ON THE WAY)

___________________

I’M HAVING TROUBLE FINDING
A PIC OF THE CURRENT TV GUIDE COVER…
Seems they somehow made an X-files movie
without the pre-movie hoop-la most usually get…
THE NEW X-FILES MOVIE JUST SNUCK UP ON ME !!!

The TV Guide cover announcing the movie caught my eye…
It looked as if they replaced Gillian Anderson, Agent Scully !!!
Upon closer examination,
I could see a slight resemblance to Gillian Anderson.
AND DAMN, IF IT WASN’T HER !!!

THIS IS EVEN CLOSER TO HER LOOKS,
THAN THE TV GUIDE COVER !!!
She’a a BABE now… not as ‘plain’ looking !

You have to see it for yourself…
I can’t decide if she had major ‘face’ work (nose),
or they just ‘airbrushed’ her into another person !
The was I remember her was not gruesome, but not gorgeous…
THIS PERSON ON THE COVER IS GORGEOUS !!!
(even more better looking than the pic above)
(she must use Oprah’s photographer)
SHE ONLY ‘DREAMS’ SHE LOOKS LIKE THAT !!!

____________________

It’s hard to disagree with the message,
but it’s easy to ‘dismiss’ the messenger !
(YOU LISTENING AL GORE ?)

_____________

YOU WON’T HAVE PROOF UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE !
(and the idea behind the warning makes ‘Al Gore’ sense)

The head of a prominent cancer research institute
issued an unprecedented warning
to his faculty and staff Wednesday:
Limit cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer.

The warning from the director
of the Univ. of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute,
is contrary to numerous studies that don’t find a link
between cancer and cell phone use,
& a public lack of worry by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Herberman is basing his alarm on early unpublished data.
He says it takes too long to get answers from science
and he believes people should take action now -
especially when it comes to children.

IF YOU CHECK YOUR CELL PHONE MANUAL,
it tells you that proper use is to have the cell phone
1 1/2 to 2 inches from your head while in use…
(not in contact with your ear)

SOUNDS LIKE THEIR EXCUSE
FOR WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN !!!

__________________

It had occurred to me that somewhere
in my ‘yute’ (youth) I had heard
RCA always referred to as RCA VICTOR.
SO I LOOKED UP THE REFERENCE & HERE’S THE STORY…

RCA Records
(originally The Victor Talking Machine Company then RCA Victor)
is one of the flagship labels of Sony BMG Music Entertainment.
RCA Records was founded in 1901 as the
Victor Talking Machine Company,
and the RCA initials stand for Radio Corporation of America,
which was the parent corporation in the pre-BMG days.

RCA is the name of three different co-owned record labels.
RCA Records is the pop music, rock music & country music label.
RCA Victor is the blues music, world music, jazz, musicals
& other musical genres which don’t fit the pop music mold label.
RCA Red Seal is the renowned classical music label
with a reissue sub-label called RCA Gold Seal.

Defunct labels include budget labels RCA Camden,
RCA Victrola & RCA Custom, famed for issuing compilations
for The Reader’s Digest Association & other record companies.
Legacy Recordings Sony BMG’s catalog division,
reissues classic albums for RCA.

In 1929, Radio Corporation of America (RCA) purchased
the Victor Talking Machine Company, the world’s largest manufacturer
of phonographs (including the famous “Victrola”)
& phonograph records (in British English, “gramophone records”).
The company then became RCA-Victor.
With Victor, RCA acquired New World rights to the Nipper trademark.

AND NOW YOU ALSO KNOW THE ORIGIN
OF THE WORD ‘VICTROLA’ FOR A RECORD PLAYER.

_____________________

MYSTERY LYRICS – the Game !!!
to play the game… just register at the link…
(or take advantage of the site’s OTHER gems)

www.MysteryLyrics.info

you will be emailed a clue and a lyric nitely…
you are free to participate or not, as often or as little as you like…
and make whatever comment or contribution you choose…
it’s interesting and alot of fun…
Lyric Festival
TEST YOUR MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE….

CARO IS WORTH CHECKING OUT…

http://www.caro-fans.com/
(info, audio, & video)

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I can’t imagine how, or why, the infestation started…
(the cats, fruit in the kitchen, whatever)
but we were regularly ‘bombarded’ by fruit-type flies…
NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE SPRAYED
OR KEPT THE KITCHEN AREA SPOTLESS
AND THE SINK & GARBAGE EMPTY…
(winter gone, summer a problem… 2nd year now)

THEY SEEMED TO BE IMMORTAL !!!
I was thinking they were like Star Trek ‘tribbles’…
BORN PREGNANT !!!
(kill the current ones, the larvae hatch daily)

ENTER THE ‘BRAIN-STORM’…
I had no idea these were even made anymore…
I only know them from old movies…
A FLY STRIP !!!

An unfurled, sticky, flying insect attracting, eliminator !

Hung over the sink temporarily…
(temporarily because I have a pretty nice kitchen)
THE PROBLEM DISAPPEARED OVER-NITE !!!
(99% of them visit no longer)

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE OLD WAYS !!!

______________________

On a VERY slow Sunday night…
flipping channels…
I came across the HBO Comedy Special
featuring the newest ‘giant’ of comedy…

DANE COOK
(in his hometown, Boston, as the setting)

I gave him every chance…
BUT I DON’T ‘GET’ HIS POPULARITY !!!
Not as a comedian anyway…
I kept waiting for the jokes… then waiting for the laughter
from the enormous arena audience !
There were ‘titters’ of nervous laughter
after overly long ’stories’ with little comedic content,
even applause at some ‘lines’ (clap? how about laughing?)
I thought it might be an ‘age’ thing…
but between ME, my daughter, AND the audience…
we covered ALL bases… and Dane sucked !!!
AND THIS WAS A TIME TO SHINE,
TO SHOW YOUR BEST STUFF TO THE NATION & WORLD !!!
If this was his ‘best’… I’m glad I wasn’t there for his worst !!!

The only one I can think to compare him to…
someone at the same non-comedic level as him is…
PAULA POUNDSTONE !!!

(sorry, that’s as feminine as she gets)

WAIT FOR A LAUGH ?
MIGHT AS WELL WAIT FOR THE SUN TO GO NOVA !!!

The 2 of them are a matched set….
MAYBE THEY SHOULD TRY COMEDY NEXT,
BECAUSE WHAT THEY ARE CURRENTLY DOING
DOES NOT WORK !!!

________________________

Eww.. I need to get the Paula Poundstone image
out of my head…

I was involved in an ‘incident’ last week..
I ended up getting ‘man-handled’
and the police got involved…

AFTER NO LUCK WITH ‘MUG’ SHOTS…
They brought in a line-up
of the usual suspects…

DON’T GET ME WRONG…

I DON’T WANT TO PROSECUTE…

I JUST WANT SECONDS !!!
NOT SURE ?
(”Could #2 step forward & shake her tits one more time?”)

____________________

I make a daily stop
at a QUICK CHECK convenience store…
(mine is clean and not-too-pricey and they make a good sandwich)

THERE WAS A GIVE-AWAY…
Buy something in the morning.. get your hand stamped,
and come back after 11am (till midnite) for a free steak sandwich !
NOT A BAD WAY TO INTRODUCE A NEW PRODUCT
AND GIVE SOMETHING BACK TO YOUR REGULARS !

Only one problem…
after 2 hours of ’sweating’ outside…
the hand ’stamp’ was down to a brown dot !
THEY STILL HONORED THE FREE SANDWICH LATER.

BUT IT GOT ME THINKING
(and I mentioned it to the store clerks)
IF ANY OF THE CUSTOMERS CAME BACK
WITH AN INTACT HAND-STAMP…
THE ODDS WERE VERY GOOD THAT
THEY DO NOT WASH THEIR HANDS
UPON EXITING THE TOILET DURING THE ‘LONG’ DAY !!!

(hey.. I think out-of-the-box…ALOT… TOO MUCH)

I LEFT THEM ‘PUZZLING OUT’ MY LOGIC !!!

________________________

I think I have a problem with this…

A for-profit daycare ’school’ has been holding fund-raisers.
Part of a large & successfull chain of daycare centers.
(for new equipment I was told)
WOULDN’T YOU THINK A PRIVATE OUTFIT SHOULD PROVIDE
AND PAY FOR WHATEVER THEY NEED
FROM THE FUNDS THEY EARN FROM YOU ?

I’m sure all the ‘teachers’ are getting their salaries.
If the kids would be short-changed otherwise,
it would seem to be a problem of the private owner,
not the people who ‘buy’ the service !!!
Should baked sales, candy sales, & t-shirt sales be necessary?

SHOULD YOUR TAX DOLLARS PROVIDE FOR PUBLIC SCHOOLS,
OR SHOULD YOU HAVE TO ‘RAISE FUNDS’ ?
Anything you raise in addition to what they have,
frees up money for other uses (non-student?) !
Anything you buy for YOUR classroom,
puts the other children on the short-end-of-the-stick !

SHOULD A REPAIR GARAGE HOLD FUND RAISERS
FOR NEW EQUIPMENT TOO ?

Years ago, my sister sold me some fund-raising candy…
(large boxes of M & M’s)
I asked what the ‘charity’ was, since she’s involved in so many…
I was told that they were raising money for her bowling team !!!

HUH ? THAT’S INSANE !!!!
WHAT DO THEY NEED ‘CANDY’ MONEY FOR ?

I UNDERSTAND CHARITY…
(sickness, children’s sports, food or shelter for the needy)
BUT SOMETHING ISN’T QUITE RIGHT HERE !!!

_______________________

MARLA MAPLES
(bombshell former wife of Donald Trump)

Her name came up in conversation & got us to wondering
HOW OLD SHE IS ?
(guesses came in as mid-30’s to early 40’s)
LOOKING HER UP IN THE IMDB…
Her age was given as 44, 45 in October.
IMDB had entries on her…
she was like the ‘operatic’ wife of CITIZEN KANE !!!
(the looks were there, but the talent couldn’t carry her)

SHE’S NOT A YOUNG ‘CHICK’ ANYMORE…

BUT FOR HER AGE…?
SHE’S HOLDING IT TOGETHER PRETTY WELL !!!

______________________

if movies are your forte….

MYSTERY MOVIE QUOTE WAV’S ARE E-MAILED DAILY….
a Wav & a Clue, is it New ?, a Classic ?, or a Rarity ?…
to get in on the fun (and the mailing list)
email —> TheOneBuff@aol.com
OR USE THE LINK—> Sign Me Up For Buffery
join the BUFFERY, AND GET BUFFER-IZED…
(remember to open your e-mailboxes to game senders.)

_______________________________

I was saving this for a time I was REALLY depressed…
Since that hasn’t happened in quite a while…
FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH….

Now the years are rolling by me, they are rockin’ even me
I am older than I once was, and younger than I’ll be,
thats not unusual…
No it isn’t strange, after changes upon changes,
we are more or less the same
After changes we are more or less the same…

—- Ren-’failed’ —
(the spelling changes, the pronunciation doesn’t)

I kinda feel like it makes the ‘nickname’ a better fit !!!
But I’ll leave it to future generations (descendants)
to read RIP and to bang-the-gavel on that one…
Reading between the lines, they WILL know me !
(and they will have at least 10 years of my nonsense to analyze)

_________________

It was the perfect excuse…
(the RIP tribute of Dr. Debaky)
to use the ‘heart’ closing banner below !!!

” YA GOTTA HAVE HEART…”

SO NOW THAT I HAVE USED THE HEART-ON
BANNER FOR MAXIMUM BENEFIT…

I’m going to roll over (not on the wet spot)
and go to sleep…. zzzzzzzz

” You can kiss my heart good-bye…”

SO… TILL NEXT TIME…

_____________________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
and also featured at…
www.MysteryLyrics.info
and make sure to ’surf’ the site…
follow the links and explore… lots of good stuff…
or visit me at…
www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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