† RIP Renfield #457 – Beach Weather †

***I PERSONALLY VOUCH FOR THE INTEGRITY, ACCURACY,
AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Don’t be a stranger…
come visit, we can trade ‘adds’ as friend at…

www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

or for email subscriptions, or to contact me…
RIPRenfield@aol.com

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† RIP Renfield #457 – BEACH WEATHER †
July 19th, 2008

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Did I ever mention how stupid I can be ?

I’m on my feet all day at work…
and somehow (from stretching?) in my sleep,
I ‘pulled’ a calf muscle…
annoying, slight pain, and later ace-bandaged too tightly !

I walked on it for 3 days…
(mid-day I hit-the-wall and the pain was reasonable)

ANYWAY…
from walking ‘funny’ (not Ministry of Funny Walks funny)…
I strained my inner ankle & a ligament that runs to my big toe !!!
It left me immobile, in great pain, & house-locked !
(and my foot in a bucket of HOT water)
I’m home 3 days from work & my vacation week
will most likely be spent with my foot elevated…
and hopefully able to return to work in 10 days !!!

I TOLD YOU I WAS STUPID !!!
A single day off might have prevented all this…
but they were so good to me when my daughter
was in the hospital, I felt obligated to make the effort…

SEEMS SOMETHING IS ALWAYS PREVENTING ME
FROM RETURNING THE ‘FAVOR’….

I SUCK !!!
(must be the drugs talking)

____________________

R.I.P

Actress Evelyn Keyes

Keyes’ personal life often overshadowed her acting career.
Besides her turbulent marriages to Artie Shaw
& directors Huston and Charles Vidor, she lived with the
producer Mike Todd for 3 years….

She played Scarlett O’Hara’s younger sister in “Gone With the Wind”
Among her notable roles:
Robert Montgomery’s lover in “Here Comes Mr. Jordan” (1941),
the Ruby Keeler role as Al Jolson’s wife in “The Jolson Story” (1946),
and as Dick Powell’s wife in “Mrs. Mike” (1949).
She also starred in B pictures that were later
praised by movie critics as prime examples of film noir.

Keyes’ marriages and divorces made her the darling of
gossip columns and fan magazines. Her first marriage,
to a handsome Englishman & heavy drinker Barton Bainbridge,
ended in headlines when he fatally shot himself during a separation.
(and then more husbands and more ‘gossip fodder’)

KEYES SAID…
“To become a big movie star like Joan Crawford
you need to wear blinders and pay single-minded attention
to your career. Nobody paid attention to me, including me.
I was the original Cinderella girl, looking for the happy ending
in the fairy story. But my fantasy prince never came.”
—–

I picked her for RIP tribute because of
her role in HERE COMES MR. JORDON’
(one of my favorite movies)
- RENFIELD

____________________

Ohhhhhhhh…

Is there anything more dreary & annoying than
that in-escape-able person (often a relative) in your life…
that knows how to ’straighten out’ everyone else’s life !!!

VERY OFTEN THEY KNOW ALL ABOUT CHILD REARING,
EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE NONE OF THEIR OWN !!!

HOW DID YOU EVER GET ALONG WITHOUT THEM ?

_____________________

YOUR ‘SPECIAL’ KIDS…

I was talking to some 20-ish kids…
and was amazed at the lack of data
on the hard-drives in their heads..

SEEMS THAT NOTHING BEFORE 1990 EXISTS TO THEM !!!
THE CURIOSITY ISN’T THERE !!!

I was, and am still, accumulating knowledge…
both useful, and pop-culture from a very early age…
and know what they know… and what my parents knew…
I guess there’s still hope, and a real treat for them,
if they decide to look further than their lifetimes…
IT’S SOMETHING I ALWAYS DID !!!

They joked about being called ’special’
their whole lives by their parents…
and their conclusion was that
EVERYONE WAS SPECIAL !!!

I took a different ‘tack’ with my kids…
Except from birth-to-toddler…
I NEVER ‘brainwashed’ them into thinking they were special…
I don’t kiss-their-asses & have always talked ‘plainly’ to them…
THE END RESULT ?
They KNOW they are ’special’.. I never had to tell them !
(if you have to be told… you aren’t)
If you have to ‘act’ smart and put on the ‘voice’..
you probably aren’t all that smart !

ADVERTISING ISN’T NECESSARY…
PEOPLE CAN SEE, OR FEEL, IT !!!

(and more likely to admire you in your humility, or humanity)

And then there’s the ‘GROWN-UPS’…
Those who are proud of their lack of pop-culture knowledge…
The serious faced (faces grow that way) order ‘barkers’…
Bluster, to me, is a defense against your ‘lacks’
being exposed to the world !
Most are intimidated by these types, and assume ’smartness’…
I keep it to myself (I’m polite that way) but I don’t buy into it…
(and will ‘yank-their-chain’ if given the opportunity)

I’m proud of RIP and how far it ‘travels’…
but it’s sad when the first comment to me is…
DO YOU MAKE ANY MONEY AT IT ?
What about achievement for the sake of your ’soul’ ?

Money? Maybe one day…
but RIP is ‘popping’… this is MY year perhaps !
It took me nearly 10 years… slow & steady…
but RIP Renfield reaches around the world !!!

MIGHT NOT BE MONEY… BUT A NICE ACCOMPLISHMENT
(AND from the comfort of my home)

SO… LIGHTEN UP SERIOUS PEOPLE…
STOP & SMELL THE ROSES…
POP CULTURE IS BELOW YOU ?
It’s only one facet of a many faceted existence !!!

PLUS PEOPLE LIKE ME
AMUSE THEMSELVES AT YOUR EXPENSE
(it’s okay… you’ll never know)

____________________

ONE THING I’VE ALWAYS NOTICED…

When with a person of so-called authority…

THE LESSER THE POSITION,
THE MORE THEY NEED TO WEAR IT ON THEIR FACE !!!

Actually, keeping ‘in-your-face’ !!!
SO EVERYONE KNOWS !

It’s not enough to ‘fit-in’ with mere mortals…
something I take pride in !!!
(I love to do my ‘aw-shucks’ routine for them)

___________________

MYSTERY LYRICS – the Game !!!
www.MysteryLyrics.info

you will be emailed a clue and a lyric nitely…
you are free to participate or not, as often or as little as you like…

Lyric Festival
TEST YOUR MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE….

ALSO TRY…

http://www.caro-fans.com/
(info, audio, & video)

—————————-

NO BENEFIT (if only personal)
FROM INTELLECTUAL HOBBY PURSUITS ?

What about personal diaries, or journals…?
(between the lines…RIP is MY personal journal)
What about all those poems, books, artworks
found post-humously that now adorn the world ?

THERE IS WORTH BEYOND FINANCIAL GAIN !!!
A PAYDAY ?

WHY CAN’T IT BE JUST ABOUT YOUR ‘MUSE’ ?
and self-satisfaction !

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist,
and the less the artist does the better.
– Andre Gide

ONE THAT MEANS SOMETHINGTO US ‘FAILURES’ …
from EZRA POUND…

” Nothing written for pay is worth printing.
Only what has been written against the market. “

___________________

I got accused of being one of those…
‘not-being-able-to-back-up’
the information I use in conversation…
(it’s a method used by some to put you ‘back-on-your-heels’)

FOR THE RECORD…
I don’t have the best memory for all details…
I might use the short version of something I wrote about once…

I use RIP Renfield as my REFERENCE BOOK – GUIDE !!!
(and google)
Once I have it in writing… I can use the info with confidence,
and am able to shove a print-out under your nose
showing that I’m not just a ‘pretty face’ !!!

___________________

A study was done
(for what reason I don’t know)
on what country’s women are most likely
to ‘put-out’ on a first date…

For some reason, they equated first date with one-nite stand…
SO I FIND THE STUDY FLAWED RIGHT THERE !

As it turns out… one statistic they reported
was that FRENCH women ‘claimed’
to have sex 120 times a year !!!
(and the Swedes topped them)

120 times a year ?
THAT’S ONCE EVERY 3 DAYS !!!
(or 10 times one night, once a month)

(you might as well stay on your back ALL the time)

I’d like to do a survey of female RIP readers…

FIRST… DO YOU HAVE SEX 120 TIMES A YEAR ALSO ?
SECOND… ARE YOU BUSY THIS WEEKEND ?
(make that a 3 day weekend)

____________________

I’m multi-faceted and can live in many ‘worlds’…
it’s a shame people limit themselves…
and the funny part is…
many of the ‘limited’ ones think they are ‘hip’…

WHEN THEIR WORLD IS SO SMALL !!!
I can live in their world and MY world, and many others…
it’s kinda sad for them…

_____________________

I was talking breakfast cereals the other day…
and the crunchy-ness that some people expect…
the crunchiness that cereal companies advertise…

and personally i don’t understand CRUNCHY cereal…

I’ve had an occasional bowl of CAP’N CRUNCH
(and other cereals)
and I wait… sometimes 10 minutes for it to get soggy…

THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO EAT CEREAL…

and whatever happened to those ‘cereal’ restaurants ?
popular in college towns… the ‘wait’ staff would be in pajamas,
and you basically fill your own bowl from dispensers, with combinations
of your favorite cereals… making unique-to-you combinations…

IT STARTED ME MIXING CEREALS !!!

________________

TIPPING…
In my old age… I’ve decided to ALWAYS tip
for ANY service provided … counter service or otherwise…

BUT… AS ALWAYS…

I STILL HAVE NEVER TIPPED AT A GAS STATION !!!
It’s traditional !!!

___________________

A SUGGESTION FOR THE VATICAN…

The Vatican gets 25% of it’s donations from the USA.
They are claiming a loss (decline) from the previous year
because of the ‘weak’ dollar (vs. the euro).

SOUNDS LIKE TO GET A BETTER ‘BANG’ FOR YOUR BUCK,
THAT THIS IS A YEAR THE VATICAN SHOULD LOOK
TO ‘SPEND’ THE MONEY IN THE USA,
FOR CHARITIABLE (non-pedophile) PROJECTS HERE !!!

Instead of the USA funding
the rest of the world at a discounted value !

NAH.. THAT WOULD MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE !!!

____________________

ONE THING I LEARNED IN THE HOSPITAL…
(from my daughter’s extended stay)

You can’t inter-change soft drink powder additive
CRYSTAL LIGHT with CRYSTAL METH

I always confused the two !!!

____________________

SPEAKING OF CONFUSING THE TWO…

I read that some Japanese business man
was paying $2.1 million to have lunch with WARREN BUFFETT !!!

I had to read the story to realize
they were talking about the billionaire businessman
and not going to MARGUERITA-VILLE !!!

____________________

I JUST HEARD IT REPORTED
THAT MACHO MAN FASHION-WISE
IS OUT OF STYLE !!!!

HUH ? WHERE? The Australian out-back?

Macho has been out of style FOREVER…
Haven’t the last 10 years been the time of the metro-sexual ?

If THAT’S considered MACHO,
and they plan to back-off…

The only thing less macho is pant-less chaps…
with your ass sticking out !!!
or like in Australia… OUT-BACK !

IF ANYTHING,
IT’S TIME FOR MACHO TO MAKE A COMEBACK !!!
(I don’t have the ass for being gay… fashion or otherwise)

(and for me? macho is never out-of-style)

______________________

Making conversation with my daughter
(while in the hospital for 9 days)…

I wondered aloud about HANNAH MONTANNA
(miley cyrus)
NOT being as visible as she was a few months ago…
THE HOTTEST CONCERT TICKET IN TOWN !!!

My kid seemed to have all the ‘poop’…
she figured that since the VANITY FAIR photos…
(not ‘dirty’ but not ‘disney’)
Disney got worried about ‘controlling’ Miley !
(her myspace has the same photos as any other 15 year old girl,
but they are suggestive & sexual(?))
Perhaps her getting TOO big and TOO expensive…

SO… the big Disney machine isn’t promoting her as they once did..
and have a NEW golden girl who should learn from Miley’s mis-deeds…
(why not behave yourself & stay on the ‘train’ till the last station?)

The new 15 year old girl in town is…
SELENA GOMEZ

and she’s being promoted in a BIG way…
(pretty, spanish, the ’selena’ name?… she’s got it all)

I’m sure DISNEY doesns’t want to LOSE money
on the ‘new’ HANNAH MONTANNA movie…
but they may be taking a wait-and-look-see position…
THE BIG PUSH JUST ISN’T THERE IN THE MEDIA !

IT’LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE
IF THEY THROW ALL THEIR SUPPORT TO MILEY CYRUS,
or transition to the next ‘controll-able’ teen girl…

___________________

The problem is ‘children’ with fame & money
thinking that although most kids their age
are VERY immature, THEY are the exception to the rule !
AND ARE ALL GROWN-UP & DO GROWN-UP VICES !!!
Making life decisions that should be 10 years away…

MILEY CYRUS most likely has been more of a ‘handful’
than is generally publicized…
(I see some signs that make me think that way)

THERE ARE METHODS
TO INSURE A CONTINUE-ING CAREER !!!

I see her as having had a choice…
either to come up thru the ‘ranks’…
childhood star easing into a more adult career…
(riding that Brinks truck to the bank forever, like Fonzie did)

like AMANDA BYNES did…

(aww… she’s in a milk ad with a butterfly!)

or following in the ‘muddy’ foot-steps of the trailer park vixen…

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS

(”Maw… I gots ‘throw-ed’ out of Wal-mart agin’.”)

SADLY… I THINK MIMIC-ING JAMIE LYNN WON OUT !!!
At least that’s the way Disney is making it appear
by calling ‘abandon ship’ in connection to Miley !!!

___________________

MILEY CYRUS & ‘FRIEND’
(really ‘good’ friend)

She says it’s just innocent kid’s stuff !!!
Disney 15 year-old flashing bra for the camera? NOT SMART !
(Me?, I’ve never gotten that close to a ‘friend’ of the same sex)
((or got caught wearing, or showing, a bra))

The supposed ‘nudes’ of under-age Miley are NOT available…
(basically because it’s SICK & VERY AGAINST the law !!!)

_____________________

SPEAKING OF AGAINST-the-LAW and FAIRNESS…

I heard the lawyer for a 16 year old boy speaking…
Seems the (underage) boy was in possession of nude photos
that his 14 year old girlfriend ’sent’ to him…
(emailed? sent by cell phone?)
Well… somehow it came to the attention of authorities
(the kid bragging or showing them off? the girl telling friends?)
and ended with the 16 year old boy being charged
with possession & transmission of ‘child pornography’.. a felony,
and is facing a sentence of (up to) 20 YEARS in prison !!!
AND is being treated as a serious ‘adult’ case !

I WAS WONDERING…
What crime for ‘perversion’ would they have charged HIM with,
had he (a minor) sent nude photos of himself to the girl ?
WOULD THEY CHARGE THE GIRL WITH THE SAME
CHILD PORNOGRAPHY FELONY CHARGES ?
She would be in possession of the photos the same way he was !

You know the answer…
The charges would still be against the boy !!!
INDECENCY, LEWD-LACIVIOUS BEHAVIOR,
PROBABLY A ‘SEX CHARGE’ OF SOME KIND…
CONTRIBUTING TO THE DELINQUENCY OF A MINOR, ETC…

The ‘BOY’ would be portrayed as the ‘DEVIL’ !!!

YOU WOULD THINK
THIS COULD HAVE BEEN HANDLED ALOT BETTER !
(and not in the courts)
Somebody is coming out of this ’scarred’
and for all intents and purposes… it was a childish prank !
Bad judgement from the girl ?
Seems the boy is a victim of circumstance (and the rigid law) !
Kids probably do this all the time with technology available to them !

Pssst…
IF A YOUNG GIRL WANTS TO RUIN A BOYS LIFE ON PURPOSE…
EMAIL HIM SOME NUDE PICS OF YOURSELF
AND REPORT IT TO THE POLICE !!!

SEEMS HE’S AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY !!!
(or at least gets the ‘grand tour’ of the legal system)

___________________

I CAN BE SMART (sometimes)…
Like Fredo Corleone: I’m smart! Not like everybody says…

There have been many accidents at amusement parks…
Some of the ‘newer’ rollercoasters have been the cause
of loss of limb, decapitation, and life…

This most recent one.. 6 FLAGS in ATLANTA ?
MORE OF A TRAGEDY THAN AN ACCIDENT

Teen climbs over 2 – 6 foot fences to retrieve a lost hat…
and is decapitated by the passing ride car…
(lost hat? loses head?)

The family will sue for plenty… but a solution occurred to me…
Instead of making the fences higher, or multi-layered…
(I’m not sure if it’s cheaper than the lawsuits)

WHY NOT BUILD THE RIDES
10 FEET HIGHER OFF THE GROUND ?
Making the moving parts out of reach
of people passing below them ?

SEEMS LIKE IT MIGHT COST A BIT MORE…
BUT HOW COULD IT NOT WORK ?

___________________

I saw that some potential employee
was turned away from DISNEY for his appearance…

I’ve heard that men aren’t allowed ANY facial hair…
very clean-cut image and employee presentation…

This guy was ‘hairy’… long-haired and turban-ed…
and it looks like a religious discrimination suit is planned.

Uh… perhaps the employer should have the right
to set-up a dress-code,
and you the right to NOT take the job !

AND ONE MORE THING…
How does everyone EXCEPT christians get to yell
‘religious discrimination’?
There’s been more than one court case
resulting in the ban of a teacher wearing a small cross on a chain.
BUT NON-CHRISTIANS
gets to do as they please regardless of the employment ?
(look to schools again for prime examples)
MAJOR VISIBLE DISPLAYS NOT CONVERVATIVE ONES !!!

_____________________

It is a sad fact
that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce.
But hey, the other half end in death.
You could be one of the lucky ones!

- Richard Jeni

_____________________

New evidence collected in 1946 lynching case ?

GREAT… SO THE KILLERS GOT TO LIVE
‘NORMAL’ LIVES FOR THE LAST 62 YEARS,
AND NOW THEY’LL BE PUNISHED ?

So in their final, golden years
the state can pay for their upkeep ?

SEEMS TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE !!!
(almost insulting to the victim)

BUT SEE-ING GRANDPA GOING TO JAIL FOR MURDER
CAN’T BE A FUN THING FOR THE FAMILY !!!

___________________

SPEAKING OF TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE…

I’LL TAKE THAT AS MY CUE TO LEAVE…

SO, UNTIL NEXT WEEK…
when I’m back at work and miserable…
(and I’ll try to remember to use some nude pics)
((too much kid stuff in this issue for ‘blatant’ nudity))

GOOD BYE…
(and don’t forget the sunblock)

_____________________________

COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
——————————

RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
and also featured at…
www.MysteryLyrics.info
and make sure to ’surf’ the site…
follow the links and explore… lots of good stuff…
or visit me at…
www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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AND ONE FINAL CHEAP SELF-PROMOTION…

I’ve heard that Ron Bennington of XM Satellite Radio

(RON & FEZ – ch.202 noon-to-3)

has a GOOGLE ALERT set up to ’snare’ RON & FEZ ‘net’ mentions.

I know he’s heard of, and seen, RIP…

but I’m hoping he at least ’scanned’ this far to see HIS name !!!

(HEY.. SO I HAVE NO SHAME !!!)