† RIP RENFIELD #447 – MOTHERS DAY †

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AND HONESTY OF ALL ITEMS IN RIP***

(except for the stuff I make up, lie about,
or receive mis-information about)

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† RIP Renfield #447 – MOTHERS DAY †

May 10th, 2008

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for Mother’s Day…

I was reminded the other day about a story about my children.
Years ago I had season tickets for the NY Rangers (ice hockey),
and later when I moved further away from NYC,
I had NJ Devils season tickets…

My friends and I had gone for many years
and had our little ‘amusements’ at the game…
One of those, to pass the time, was to play ‘Find Waldo’
(unique looking person somewhere in the crowd)
in the arena crowd with binoculars…
THIS ALSO LED TO GIRL WATCHING !!!
There was this one particular female season ticket holder
I would always check on (with the binoculars).
She sat to the right of the goal, a few rows up,
probably with her family… (I never got any closer)…
(I was probably 60 or so yards away)

She was a ‘looker’ and always wore a ‘top’
that was either ’strappy’ or off-the-shoulder…
Highlighting her ample boob-age…
MY GROUP, AND ANYONE ELSE WE BROUGHT,
WERE ALSO INTO CHECKING HER OUT…
She got the nickname ‘MY girlfriend’…
(as in.. “is your girlfriend here?, what’s your girfriend wearing?)

WE THOUGHT NOTHING OF HER DESIGNATION…
‘ MY (gary’s) GIRLFRIEND ‘

So, after one game that the little ones attended…
THEY could NOT wait to get home and tell mommy…
” DADDY HAS A GIRLFRIEND AT THE HOCKEY GAMES !!! “

TRY EXPLAINING THAT ONE !!!
(rotten little kids)

It was as ‘rotten’ as the time (the first time)
they ever saw me have a drink..
I had 2 beers in a restaurant with dinner…
(mom wine nearly every nite, me? not a drop of anything)

THEY COULDN’T WAIT TO GET HOME TO CALL GRANDMA..
” DADDY’S DRUNK !!! “

I’ve always wondered what people thought behind my back…
Like there was some truth to what was being said !!!

I’M A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE !!!
(and kids with BIG mouths)

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ALICE NUNN
‘ LARGE MARGE ‘

Very little is known about Alice Nunn with the exception that
she appeared in one of the 1980s most famous films,
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985),
as the infamous truck driver, ‘Large Marge’.
In addition to Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985),
some of her more memorable roles were
in Mommie Dearest (1981) as ‘Helga’,
Who’s That Girl (1987), alongside Madonna as a Parole Board Official,
and her last film role as ‘Nurse Palmer’ in Three O’Clock High (1987).

Unfortunately, Alice Nunn never lived long enough to bask
in the late fame she so duly earned in the mid/late 1980s.
She was found dead of a heart attack in her West Hollywood apartment.
Alice Nunn will always have a place in Hollywood history -
even if it’s just being known as ‘Large Marge’
- about which she never complained.

I remember her as the head counselor
at the girl’s camp across-the-lake from the boy’s camp in…
CAMP RUNAMUCK
(a very bad, very old tv series… but I loved it as a kid)

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

This photo was sent to me by proud father & grandfather,
long-time RIP reader… Mikey P. from Tennessee
(he got me my brick from the House of (johnny) Cash)

Be happy if you can be with your mother, or mother of your children…
But don’t forget what they-who-serve give up…
and I’m sure the last place an expectant dad wants to be
is in Iraq, while his VERY pregnant wife is here at home…

PLENTY TO BE PROUD OF !!!

(is it me? or is a VERY pregnant woman ‘magnetic’ ?)

_______________________

DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ANYONE ELSE ?

I’m usually not broke…
I have a few dollars stashed for emergencies & toys.
BUT… I’ve noticed a pattern…

When in the ‘broke’ category…
IF money comes in from somewhere… (unexpected?)
It starts ‘rolling’ in from multiple sources…
(not alot, but notice-able)
I got a small stock dividend check in the mail,
I got use of some cash earmarked for something else,
I got a few checks for RIP Renfield t-shirts I sent out,
and just now? I got 4 of 6 on a lottery ticket…
(something I rarely do & on some screwy numbers)

AND 4-of-6 IS ONE OF THOSE HEART-BREAKERS…
One number less and you win $3,
one number more and win $4700,
but IF you have that 5th number…
IT’S TIME TO CRY… ONE MORE WAS WORTH MILLIONS !!!
(I’d love the 5 grand, but hate to be that close, my one chance?)

I ended up with $73… better than a slap to the head !
and I’m waiting for more money to roll in…
(update.. another $200 showed up unexpectedly)

FOR THE RECORD…
The ‘BROKE’ part is constant…
The ‘UN-EXPECTED MONEY’ is the rarity… an abberation !!!
(but when the ‘dam’ breaks… oh boy !)

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I keep one of the RIP Renfield patches
that was my anniversary item a few years ago, in my wallet.
It’s under a fold-out I can flash like a cop’s badge.

And it occurred to me for the FIRST time…
That my inititials… “G” & “R”
(both gary renfield & my real name)
are the same initials of the…
GRIM REAPER !!!
(kinda makes the flash-of-the-badge more official)

(the corporate logo as it appears on the RIP T-shirt)

COINCIDENCE ?
or is death ’still’ taking a holiday ?

_________________

SUBTLE… VERY SUBTLE…

I heard David Letterman’s Top 10 list
from Hillary Clinton on some radio show…
Not very funny (I’m not a Letterman or Top 10 fan either)…
but the end of it ‘caught’ my ear.. no one else’s though…

The bit ended with the band playing a loud, over-done…
GOD BLESS AMERICA

Which to ‘bread-basket’ americans…
it showed her religious leanings…
but to her supporting organization & ACLU buddies…
the raucous version was her ‘goofing’ on religion !

TO ME IT SEEMED ‘CALCULATED’
VERY CALCULATED !!!

WELL DONE, HILLARY…
(you got it past everyone but me)
(and got to play both sides at once)

RUN AS A 3rd PARTY CANDIDATE?
or use the threat as leverage to get on the ticket ?
IF THAT’S NOT THE PLAN…
SHE’S BURNING AN IMPORTANT BRIDGE !!!

_______________________

OBAMA

He’s starting to worry me…
Hillary HAS actually exposed his lack of polish,
and perhaps the ‘draining’ campaign,
seeming to wear him down…
IS SHOWING HE MIGHT NOT BE READY (or able) YET
TO GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH THE BIG ‘BOYS !!!

AND I EXPERIENCE THE McGREEVEY CAMPAIGN
HERE IN NEW JERSEY…
Jim promised change, new ideas, cutting the fat,
getting rid of corruption… a new, young way of doing things !!!

SOUND FAMILIAR ?
(leaving the sex out of it)
I’m worried that Obama is the national version
of the NJ McGreevey disaster…
EXITING ONE STEP AHEAD OF INDICTMENTS !!!
An administration getting immediate induction into the
CORRUPTION HALL OF FAME !!!

WE’VE BEEN THRU IT ALREADY…
THE REST OF THE COUNTRY IS BLISSFULLY IGNORANT !!!

I heard the term ‘empty suit’ used to describe Obama…
and, to tell you the truth…
I’M THINKING THE DESCRIPTION FITS !!!

NOT THAT HILLARY IS ANY BETTER…

EMPTY PANT-SUIT

I still can’t figure out why people I know
think prosperity will return with a Clinton in office?
ANY CLINTON… EVEN THE WIFE OF A CLINTON !!!

My wife has her talents, I have mine… they really don’t overlap…
HOW DO THEIRS MESH TO RE-CREATE A BETTER TIME ?

________________________

OH… AND BE SURE TO ENUNCIATE…

I used the ’shorthand’ … S.O.P. the other day
(Standard Operating Procedure)

and the guy standing their almost punched me !!!

seems P’s & B’s can sound alike…

SO HE WAS HEARING…. S.O.B. !!!

______________________

Some things stay under-the-radar…
(AND I THINK S.O.B. WORKS FOR THIS ONE)

In an ice hockey playoff pre-game show…
one of the announcers called a ’string’ of players
whose last names started with the letter ‘K’…

THE KKK GUYS !!!

He probably thought it up himself and thought it clever…
but GEEZ !!! on broadcast tv ?
Another group of hooded ‘guys’ use the same
identifying initials for THEIR club !!!

___________________

BEFORE I GET ACCUSED
OF BEING A FAN OF ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER…
(I WON’T EVEN IDENTIFY THE TEAMS)

What happened was just as ‘useless’ as the deaths
that have happened from the fervor of a soccer game !!!
AND I HAVEN’T SEEN THIS STORY REPORTED CORRECTLY !!!

A drunken woman in a bar where the opposing side,
in a long-time baseball rivalry, gathers…
she was taunted by a GROUP of opposing team fans…
(and I dont’ mean a couple of ‘you sucks’)

Nasty, continuous, and profane…
the drunks didn’t confine themselves to a bar…
they took their ‘taunting’ out into the parking lot…
(she didn’t bring the car inside the bar)
and the woman turns her car on them…
(to scare them she says?)
She ends up hitting one, who later dies…

SHE IS CORRECTLY CHARGED WITH ALL SORTS OF CRIMES…
MOST NOTE-ABLE 2nd DEGREE MURDER !!!

AND HE ‘IS’ THE VICTIM OF MURDER !
AND
THE VICTIM OF HIS OWN STUPIDITY !!!
(something the news accounts are leaving out)

You have to LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE…
THERE ARE CRAZY PEOPLE OUT THERE !!!
Don’t take the chance !!!
Playful-ness is one thing, but this went alot farther !
Many of the school shootings are by victims of BULLY-ING !!!
It does not excuse their actions…
but it makes them understand-able !!!

I don’t waste as much as my sympathy on someone
who, they themself, are the one
who pushed the ’shooter’ (or driver) over the edge !!!
LIKE I SAID… IT’S UNDERSTAND-ABLE… BUT NOT RIGHT !
(the gene pool benefits from it)

THIS WOMAN WOULD MOST LIKELY HAVE DRIVEN
HERSELF HOME (or hit a telephone pole)…
and everyone else lives happily(?) ever after…
IF NOT FOR THE ACTION OF DRUNKEN BULLIES !!!
BOY.. THEY SURE SHOWED HER !!!

SHE IS DEFINITELY WRONG…
She’s basically no better than her tauters,
and heavily out-numbered at that…
BUT THOSE THERE SHOULD FEEL THE GUILT
FROM THEIR OWN ACTIONS IN THIS GUY’S DEATH !!!
They were part of the cause too !!!
DANGEROUS or WIMPY ? WHO KNOWS ?
BUT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FIND OUT ? THE HARD WAY ?

LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE, ‘TOUGH’ GUY !!!

_______________________

STATE BIRDS

ILLINOIS – The CARDINAL

MISSOURI – The BLUEBIRD

NEW MEXICO – ROAD-RUNNER

NEW YORK – State ‘bird’ !

__________________

GOOD FOR MOPPING UP BIRD SHIT…

IT FINALLY HIT ME…

All these television commercials about paper towels…
It seems that the BIG selling point is absorbancy !!!

AND THEY PROVE HOW STRONG
AND HOW MUCH THEIR TOWEL CAN HOLD !!!

And me?
I’m mopping up a small spill…
and instead of taking ONE paper towel,
I did my usual thing and grabbed as many as I could !!!

AND IF I THOUGHT I NEEDED MORE ?
I WOULD NOT HESITATE TO USE THE ROLL !!!

Who’s this tv lady that uses ONE paper towel ?

SHE DOESN’T LIVE AT MY HOUSE !!!

__________________________

I’m wondering if THIS Lottery scam would work ?

I’m in possession of a winning ticket… ($73)
I’m told that I can cash the ticket,
even though the ticket is for multiple future drawings…
get the money, and still keep the ticket…
IT JUST WON’T PAY-OFF IF SUBMITTED AGAIN !

So I could cash the ticket for the prize…
and then offer it to some ‘dope’
for less than the winning amount I already cashed out !!!
(I just need a good story)

JUST IMAGINE IF THE TICKET
WAS FOR A SIZE-ABLE AMOUNT !!!

What a shame I’m honest !!!
I do have an ‘eye’ for scams…
avoiding them, not cashing in on them !

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MYSTERY LYRICS – the Game !!!

to play the game… just register at the link…
(or take advantage of the site’s OTHER gems)

www.MysteryLyrics.info

you will be emailed a clue and a lyric nitely…
you are free to participate or not, as often or as little as you like…
and make whatever comment or contribution you choose…
it’s interesting and alot of fun…

Lyric Festival
TEST YOUR MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE….

http://www.caro-fans.com/
(info, audio, & video)

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Filly ‘Eight Belles’ Put Down
After 2nd-place Derby Finish

All that heart and her gallant fight ended in the worst of ways,
with no other choice, she was euthanized by injection.
Bolstered by the sentimental support from 157,770 fans
and endorsed by presidential contender Hillary Clinton
and cheered by daughter Chelsea,
the filly finished second in the Kentucky Derby on Saturday.
She crossed the wire 4 lengths behind favorite Big Brown
and soon collapsed with two broken front ankles.

I’M NOT SAYIN’ IT WAS FOUL PLAY.. BUT…
There was a ‘rumor’ that SUPER-DELEGATE ‘8 Belles’
was making a ’surprise’ endorsement announcement
at a press conference after the race !!!

THIS ‘COUNT’ ONLY INCLUDES PEOPLE…
theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/clintonbodycount.htm

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A FURTHER UPDATE….

Although the horse was euthanized at the racetrack,
the jockey managed to get away…
it’s only a matter of time till they catch up to him !!!
He’s still on the run…
(nothing wrong with HIS ankles)

and Hillary got the ankles angle ‘covered’ too…

SHE AIN’T GOIN’ DOWN !!!

LITERALLY !

_______________________

WELL I HAVE TO GO…
MY OTHER ONLINE BUSINESS IS CATCHING ON…

I HAVEN’T MADE A SALE YET…
BUT MY HANDS-ON SALES DEMONSTRATION
KINDA MAKES UP FOR IT…

(special Mother’s Day rate – ‘A’ cups and above – FREE !!!)

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I’m hoping I can keep up with my good work…
all those mis-fitted bras out there…
BUT…

i’ve been having a tingling in my left arm for a few months…
not that bad.. and a pain near my left armpit…
thought i was heading to a heart attack…

extremely hot water on my shoulder and armpit in the morning
gives me great relief during the day… for the entire day…
so I kinda figured I wasn’t loosening the grease in my arteries….

seems i probably have carpel tunnel syndrome in my left arm..
must be 10 years of RIP-effin-Renfield typing !!!

i hear there’s cold laser, non-invasive fixes near here…
i’m going to wait to see if i can heal myself..
with advil.. taking it easy and a wrist brace…
before I go for actual medical attention…

SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY ?

I’M GOING TO GO SOAK MY ARM PIT !!!
(say ‘hi’ to your mom for me)

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COMMENTS ABOUT R.I.P. RENFIELD???

opposing opinions are welcome,
but since i’m the only employee of RIP,
you’re wasting your time…

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OCCASION RIP BANNERS & ‘SPECIAL’ GRAPHICS PROJECTS
by staff artist
TISH (PILLBUG)
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RIP Renfield available on the internet at…
www.RipRenfield.com
and also featured at…
www.MysteryLyrics.info
and make sure to ’surf’ the site…
follow the links and explore… lots of good stuff…
or visit me at…
www.MySpace.com/RIPRenfield

>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS<<<<<

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